ABOUT TIME (AN OPEN LETTER TO MY COMMUNITY)

ABOUT TIME (AN OPEN LETTER TO MY COMMUNITY)

The first reason I decided to write this story was because I have been carrying the burden of what I’ve done in my heart for a long time. There is no justification for what I did, and now that I am living a more stable personal life, I have come to realise that those weren’t the proudest moments of my life. I have been apologizing to everyone who I hurt that I’ve been able to reach out to, and now I want to apologize to the community I’ve wronged as well.

The second reason I’m writing this story is because He asked me to.

I hope that when you read this story, you will read it, not with scorn, but with the understanding that I am human. That I am flawed and didn’t know any better. That it took Fate bringing Him my way to make me see the ugliness of the things I’ve done.

Growing up in Port Harcourt was not fun. I wasn’t a tough child, and my two older sisters often had to save me every time I got into scrapes. And they made fun of me over what they said was me being weak.

I was weak. I was effeminate. My sisters were fierce. The older one of the two would fight and sometimes beat whoever laid his hand on me. And then, they’d turn around to taunt me with it. When I was fourteen, my friends began preying on my weakness and effeminacy. They would start unnecessary arguments, deliberately so as they watched me to see if I would chicken out. And when I predictably began to do so, they would start goading me and trying to provoke me into fighting them. At this time, my sisters had stopped coming to my defense; they would see this happening and turn away. This goading became such a thing, that I had to toughen up.

By the time I was seventeen, I had totally changed. The weak, effeminate boy was gone. In his place was someone who had quickly acquired the reputation as someone you didn’t want to mess with. I was very masculine, cruel and aggressive. I had grown to abhor any kind of weakness, and would rather die than cry in front of anyone. I was always in fights, and the simplest slights got me furious and ready to lash out with my fists.

And though all this, I was also struggling to understand a different kind of ‘weakness’: my attraction to boys. I liked boys. So much that I was often attaching myself relentlessly to the boys I crushed on. I remember one time I was horny, and I was in the company of a boy I liked. I started talking about sex with him, and pretty soon, he was horny too. And we very furtively grasped each other’s penises and wanked each other, using our school bags to cover our sins from the detection of any straying eyes.

Even further back, when I was 8 or 9, I was caught kissing a boy in my class. The classroom was jampacked with classmates, and there was no teacher in the class at the time. This boy and I were seated at the back. He was my friend. Somehow, we found ourselves leaning toward each other, and our lips grazed against each other. I didn’t know what I was doing, but whatever it was caused an instant outrage amongst the other students who had seen the kiss. Everybody was shouting and condemning us. It never got to the ears of any teacher, but I lost my friend after that day, as he began to sit somewhere else far from me. Someone also told my sisters, and they were predictably cruel in their taunts about it.

However, as I passed through secondary school and began fashioning a new personality, I began also leading a new life: that of the ladies’ man.

Then I left secondary school and matriculated into the University (UST), and it was only a matter of time before I became a cultist. This firmed up my persona as someone to not be messed with. I was even feared at home. I had so many encounters with SARS, those guys became like family to me. I was for all intents and purposes a very bad boy. A far cry from the fourteen-year-old who was saved by his sisters.

Becoming someone who kitoed gay guys was something that started as a joke last year. A dare.

One of my friends, a fellow cultist who happened to know I am into boys (something that was a very closely guarded secret of mine because of what I had come to represent), told me that I could never invite someone I’d hooked up with over to my house when he is around. To him, gay hookups were something that was so secretive, I couldn’t possibly bring any hookup around when he would be there. He was joking and didn’t think I would take him seriously.

I felt dared, and called someone I had hooked up with a few times over to my place. And when I say “hook up”, I don’t mean actual sex. I’d never had penetrative sex with any of these guys I hooked up with. I always felt held back, like if things got anal, I would have crossed that line that I wasn’t sure I was ready to cross. So, these guys would come around, and we would make out and wank, and that was it.

My friend couldn’t believe it, when several minutes later, the guy was stepping into my house. He was officially looking at someone that represented the life I kept hidden from our other members.

Now, this guy I asked over (let’s call him Sucre) was someone who had a bit of an attitude. No sooner did he come over, than my house began to fill up with other members of my cult. I stayed off-campus and these boys came and went as they pleased. We were brothers. They often saw people they don’t know in my house whenever they came around, whether in groups or singly. But Sucre was someone they would not forget in a hurry, due to his behaviour. I could tell he was scared by the sudden presence of all these guys, but his fear didn’t subdue him or make him ask to leave. Instead, he was saying things and behaving in ways that a group such as these guys would find insolent.

There were drinks going around, and when he was offered a bottle, he turned it down with a disdain that was so obvious. Some of the boys were also smoking weed, and even though nobody asked him, he just had to make disparaging comments about how “weed is bad for your health.”

My friends expectedly took offense at this point, and they began shouting and harassing Sucre. They were interrogating him and asking him questions about who he was and why he was even here. And this guy cracked under the pressure, blurting out that he was gay and came here to have sex with me. All hell was breaking lose. I was horrified and denied this furiously. I couldn’t tell whether any of them believed me, but they were all over Sucre, seizing his phone and taking his money before throwing him out of my house.

However, the damage was done. The most these guys were willing to believe was that I was new to homosexuality and was just experimenting with guys; and at some point during all this drama, someone came up with the idea of using me to get to other guys I’d been hooking up with. They pounced on this idea and everyone was for it. However much I was horrified by this though, I couldn’t object. I was relatively new to the brotherhood and had no power. I couldn’t say no, because these guys could easily deal with me however they deemed fit.

So began my participation in the kitoing of the gay students in my school and beyond. Initially, I would call those I knew, those I would even go as far as call friends, and they would come over, walking into the trap that I was made to set for them. I struggled to get the many looks of hurt and betrayal these friends always shot at me as they were harassed and robbed by my brothers, so much I couldn’t keep up with it. I had to change tactics. Instead of setting up those I knew, I could simply start targeting strangers. The random guys who were looking to hook up from the dating apps.

Our small kito project soon graduated into a full-blown operation. It was very typical. I would reel the victim in, and he would come around. It helped that I was exactly who I was presenting to them online, so the video calls and pictures were never fake. My gang members would be stationed at designated areas from where they would come forward the closer the victim came to where I’d be waiting to meet him, until he was crowded in without even knowing it, and there was nowhere he could escape to. We even employed the services of the community boys who would alert us to the victims who had gotten cold feet were acting like they intended to turn back, so we could swing into action to get them. Most of the community knew what we were doing and minded their business, and sometimes, when we needed the muscle of the Nigerian Police, we called on some SARS guys we were familiar with to pitch in. and these guys, these victims, would always pay to secure their freedom, thus enriching us all.

It was a good thing that was going for us. Until I met Him.

Manny.

Chatting with him online, he was just another mark. But when he came over to my place that day, I was hit full-on with the force of his attractiveness. He was incredibly good looking, dark-skinned and so delicate, I just wanted to throw myself around him and protect him.

I simply couldn’t let him become another victim. I just couldn’t.

So, I made up a quick story for my gang about how he was actually my friend, and not a mark. And even though they were disgruntled by the deprivation of another payday, they let him be.

Manny ended up staying two days at my place. He was someone who usually wouldn’t go out to meet any hookup, but I’d been very persuasive during our online chats. It helped that as someone who was actually a part of the community, I knew the right things to say to get him to drop his guard and come over. Plus, I fit the look of the kind of guys he was into. But when he learned how close he’d come to getting kitoed, he nearly went berserk. It was too late that night for him to leave my place, and I spent most of that night, trying to make him believe in me. To see me as someone that could be special to him, because I was already thinking of him as someone that was special to me.

When he calmed down, we had a long talk. For the first time in a very long time, I became something of the fourteen-year-old boy I abandoned and opened up all my vulnerabilities to Manny. But he kept asking for the impossible, saying I should leave the cult, even when I tried to make him understand that leaving was not an option. Leaving was tantamount to asking for death.

We are still having this talk, still going back and forth about me leaving this life of a cultist. Meanwhile, we have been together. As much as I could ever love a guy is the much I love Manny. So much, I have become possessive of him. He has been influencing my actions. He reads Kito Diaries and was the one who introduced me to this community. After listening to his protestations and reading up on all the horrors that are published here, I had to resign from the kito operation I was running with my guys. I told them that I was done being a part of it, and that they would just have to accept me the way I am. They grudgingly acquiesced, saying they could look the other way when I do the things I do with boys, but that I should keep it very much on the down-low.

Like I said earlier, Manny noticed my struggle with the weight of what I did and asked me to write this and send to Pink Panther.

Because of the pain what I did represents to this community, I want to say sorry. I really am sorry.

I am sorry I was ever a part of a system that targeted members of my community, standing by and allowing my kind get bashed and victimized through an entrapment I masterminded.

I am sorry I felt like doing this would somehow change me. Make me hate myself less for who I am.

I am sorry because the hate was what I grew up with.

I am sorry for hurting the people I hurt, both those who I’ve been able to reach out to and those I haven’t.

I am sorry. Very sorry.

I am still struggling to forgive myself, and maybe someday I will.

But I am sorry.

I am tired of living with the guilt of what I’ve done. I want some peace of mind. I want some forgiveness. Above all, I want to start waking up with no regrets.

Written by James Saint Patrick

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105 Comments

  1. Net
    November 26, 08:31 Reply

    As someone who has been Kitoed before, I don’t accept your apology.

    • slender
      November 26, 20:36 Reply

      Can you make us all happy by dropping your colleagues details so nobody can fall victim anymore, bcos i know for a fact that you only stopped but the useless, wasted, Scumbags they are Cant and Wont.
      Plus.. Manny is really BOLD, the doubting thomas in me would never believe you, i would think you are actually planning a bigger KITO for me.

  2. Rehoboth
    November 26, 08:34 Reply

    You need to make sure your gang stops kitoing people and offer community service to the LGBT community in any way you deem fit. Scum.

  3. Chiboy
    November 26, 08:35 Reply

    I don’t even know to react to this story. 😔 😔 😔

    Should I feel sorry for you, sad or angry?

    But as a former kito survivor(I choose not to call myself a victim anymore), one that got kitoed by someone he opened up to in his first year a university environment and ended up with an instant extra year plus suicidal thought, a part of me is livid. Like I just want to send the hounds of hell on your ass and ask Karma to prepare you a banquet in hell. 😭.

    Like I don’t get it.

    Is it the childhood? The taunting? 😏. It changed you? Most of us went through same. So?

    I wouldn’t want to say anything that I might regret later.

    Bye.

    And may we all reap what we sow.

  4. Kenny
    November 26, 08:48 Reply

    You can stick your apology where the sun doesn’t shine. You are a horrible person. And no, we won’t accept your apology to make you feel better. Still a cultist yea? Scum!!

  5. Kenny
    November 26, 08:52 Reply

    I still get panic attacks and my heart races whenever I’m meeting someone new, in public o.

    You have unleashed something you won’t be able to curb. You see those your fellow cultists, they’ll go right ahead to kito other people, you guys will leave school, they’ll relocate to different places and keep setting innocent people up. And you want us to accept your apology?

    See ehn, just mail PP details of all your accomplices… Also let PP know who you actually are.

    Talking about I’m sorry yen yen yen, ORI E TI DARU!!!

    • RichieMichie
      November 26, 11:43 Reply

      I agree with this, in as much as me ain’t accepting this nauseating apology, the very least he should do is drop the details of the other members, that way community members would be warned of these scums.

  6. DeadlyDarius
    November 26, 09:07 Reply

    I am so livid. It took you ‘falling in love’ for one of your targets for you to realize that assaulting/robbing innocent guys is wrong. You type some essay here after being prompted to have decency, probably send anonymous apology texts to a few you harmed and we should what…feel sorry for you? ‘Forgive’ you? Guess what. There is no true forgiveness without justice. You have not paid for your crimes and it is the gutter alley of a country we live in that gives you the gall to produce this sob story.

    As for you, ‘Mannie’…you that is drawn to a certain ‘type’….I guess you feel better now, right? Your conscience is also clear. You can continue enjoying the dick/ass without remorse. Staying on with your criminal boyfriend got a little bit easier. The victims that your Bae have and continue to terrorise will remain on your mind and give you sleepless night. For the love of SEX you are aiding and abetting an unrepentant monster. Kudos! I’m sure you will take fine pictures after church this Sunday for the ‘Gram.

    #Blessed, right?

    • Mitch
      November 26, 15:40 Reply

      I swear!!!
      I have never been more pissed!
      People like that Mannie or whatever he styles himself are just the worst. Thinking a few strung up words means he’s good to go.

      Arrant nonsense!

  7. Duc
    November 26, 09:17 Reply

    Sigh.. This took guts. Go easy on him guys. Please. We live and we learn.

    • Black Dynasty
      November 26, 13:12 Reply

      I doubt those who were kitoed by him share the same sentiments. I know someone who was kitoed, exposed to his family and ended up committing suicide.

      Anything he gets on here is not up to 1% of what he’s done to each individual he set up.

  8. Dammi
    November 26, 10:01 Reply

    Nah, this isn’t it…Too many lives has been broken by this your evil kito activities for your mere apology to eclipse the pain.

    You caused a lot of pain, get ready to revel in your own.

  9. Andy
    November 26, 10:35 Reply

    I empathise with the 14 year old boy who had to deal with feeling less than,but using that to cushion the amount of pain you extended to others by writing this bullshit apology ain’t it. With that said FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Andy
    November 26, 10:43 Reply

    You are terrible person and I want you to always remember that and I hope the universe aligns to hold your accountable by doling out dire consequences for your despicable action,this truly angered me.

  11. Bleh
    November 26, 11:10 Reply

    So an oppressed person armored himself with the worst qualities of his oppressors to punch down on others,then saw the light when he fell in love with a cute guy and then proffered a half assed apology online hmm ok sis.
    Anyways if you’re really about that life empty out your bank account and donate it to Tiers or something that would be a great starting point towards this your redemptive journey, if not shut the FUCK up cause we are not drinking this kool aid called an apology.

    • Pjay
      November 26, 17:53 Reply

      Tiers radaaada wo. Give it to Pinky to run Kitodiaries.

      • Bleh
        November 26, 19:07 Reply

        I can’t believe I didn’t think of this lol,great suggestion

    • Tuface
      November 26, 23:51 Reply

      You NEVER can tell the damage you caused those you kito until you experienced it. I was a victim and a survivor. Kitoed by a community member too. And it cost me everything I had including my home and almost my life. Just saying sorry could never undo the hurt, the shame, the humiliation, the terrible nightmares. It’s worst still when it’s masterminded by a fellow community member

  12. RichieMichie
    November 26, 11:59 Reply

    Wtf!!!
    You want peace of mind And to stop feeling guilty? Seriously?
    Have you seriously imagined the trauma u caused your victims?
    I guess with your new found masculinity u can’t, because if you do you wouldn’t be asking for peace of mind and to feel less quilty. You deserve way more than that.
    Brutal cultists with SARS backing turned kito, only God knows the wreckage you lots inflicted on your victims.

  13. D.
    November 26, 12:54 Reply

    Brothers and sisters, I know we are all livid with the writer for his actions, and rightly so. He’s done the community great harm and some wounds are still open.

    However, he is repentant and asking for forgiveness. I understand that that may not be served on a platter, but I implore you all to see this as a small victory for us all.

    Would you still cast your child away when they do wrong, admit to it and apologise for the wrong?

    Please, we should show empathy. Our writer is a product of the environment he found himself, he was trying to survive the best way he knew, trying to fit in. We all know what peer pressure is right?

    And we have all made wrong choices in life, but what matters is that we one day realize the damage we have caused and seek out ways to remedy them.
    This is what our brother is trying to do.

    Our brother is trying to find his way back and I urge us to help him just as his lover is, however grudgingly. That doesn’t take away the hurt he’s caused us, but it does show that we are more empathetic and stronger than the blows we are dealt.

    Mr writer, I wish you all the love you need to become a better person.

    And I love you all.

    • Andy
      November 26, 15:36 Reply

      I know you intentions with this comment was from a good place but I don’t think anyone is obligated to forgive him based on the assumption that he is sorry,actions aren’t bereft of cosquences and true remorse should be understanding of unforgiveness especially on something of this scale

    • Mitch
      November 26, 16:05 Reply

      See, D or Ass or whatever you frigging choose to call yourself, shut up with that garbage you just typed.

      I was fucking brought up in a fucking ultra-religious environment.

      Going by your stupid ass postulation, I should be heading a conversion therapy camp, doing my own share of hurting the community. After all, “wE aRe PrOdUcTs Of OuR eNvIrOnMeNt.”
      Fucking 🤡🤡

      Idiots like you who just blindly forget people’s antecedents in the name of forgiveness disgust me. There can be no forgiveness without true justice taking its course and adequate reparation made by the criminal.

    • Dammi
      November 26, 18:31 Reply

      This repentant child can choke to oblivion for all I care. Am sure one of his numerous victims already committed suicide and I don’t think this half baked apology can bring them back.

      And to the writer, I hope guilt wake you up in the morning and cuddle you to sleep at night.

      I really hope.

  14. Bickersteth-K7
    November 26, 12:54 Reply

    It’s hard to come out openly and apologize for this but I agree that the identities of your colleagues should be made public, especially on this platform. Truth is the country and society has made living as a gay man very hard for anybody. People are constantly afraid and sometimes you can’t even pinpoint what exactly you did to be so afraid. Kitoing people is damaging to their mental health and it’s something many people cannot recover from ever. You have risked exposing some people to their families and caused them rejection and all the other terrible things families can do to people.As someone who has never been kitoed you cannot understand the pain of all these. However apologizing is the first step in righting all the wrongs…but it’s not enough…You have to make it up to the community (I’m not even sure how).
    The excuse of your childhood stuff does not hold much water…This is something you deliberately decided to do. However, subsequently you should think things through before doing them.
    Other people will drag you on these streets and it’s expected..Just change and help others…. infact contact every single person you have done this to and apologize(it won’t take away the pain but it may help)
    Then lastly tell us the modus operandi of your group so others can beware.
    This is both annoying and sad.

    • Pink Panther
      November 26, 14:01 Reply

      “tell us the modus operandi of your group so others can beware.”

      This was exactly what I wanted to know as well. He may have stopped, but his friends will undoubtedly carry on. Kitoing gay guys is after all a lucrative business. He may ask for forgiveness, but he also needs to take intentional steps to secure the community he has wronged. It’s not just by words, but by actions too.

  15. Wicked and wild
    November 26, 13:04 Reply

    As if sorry is gonna change everything. Do you know the trauma, pains and sadness you cause innocent people u kitoed? I have experienced kito and its not something I’d wish my enemy. Can sorry take away the humiliation and the scars? Niqqa karma will hit u and ur cohorts really hard. You can take ur sorry,oil it up and shove it deep down ur smelly cultist ASS

  16. Black Dynasty
    November 26, 13:07 Reply

    Your apology are just words. Words without action are meaningless! The damage you’ve caused to people are most times irreversible…. you’ve mentally scarred and ruined too many lives.

    I know too many people who’ve been kitoed and are still living in fear, some are depressed and all… every single one still has PTSD which still affects them in just about every facet of life.

    Unfortunately your apology carries no weight and really doesn’t make a difference without actions to back it up.

    If you want forgiveness then you must earn it and one way you can do that is to actively work in preventing future boys from getting kitoed… i imagine you can figure out a way to do that, seeing that you could save Manny.

    Don’t forget though, Karma is a bitch…. you will reap what you have sowed.

  17. KingB
    November 26, 14:01 Reply

    Imagine? You’re sorry? At this point I just have to drop my faith as a believer and say that I wish u hundred fold of what you did to those guys. I really feel mortified reading this. Do u know how set up damage people psychologically and emotionally? For five good years I still remember what a guy did to me at Ojo.I still have his pic in my phone and each time I see it, the pain rushes back all over again. For five good years I’ve never stepped out of my house with the intention of hooking up with someone. For five years I’ve not had any chat with anyone on SM with the intent of meeting them. That’s how damaging Kito is! You don’t just wake up one morning and start saying you’re sorry for damaging people because you’re now in love. How ironical!

    • Delle
      November 26, 21:15 Reply

      You should delete that picture on your phone though.

      Just saying.

    • Lamzy
      November 26, 23:13 Reply

      I think you should just bring up the guy’s picture here so others will know who the animal is.

  18. Goldheart
    November 26, 14:58 Reply

    To be honest I understand what it feels like to be kitoed, I was kitoed and had kept it a secret since 2012 till now, I almost lost my life to the cruelty of humans just because I’m gay. That being said, if this guy is sincere about his apology, even though painful and annoying that he could have been doing all that to people of his kind and now feels different and is genuinely sorry, I don’t think it’s upto is to cast him down this bad. We make mistakes, some times intentionally and other times willfully, still God don’t send thunder and lightning to strike us down, as we condemn homophobes For hating us and making them see how we’re all the same, I think what he did was really sad and wicked but he’s shown a repentant attitude and maybe really sorry, I don’t think we should all crucify him this bad. Glad he atleast is changing his mind toward the evil he’s been doing.

    • Stein
      November 27, 11:42 Reply

      It’s not enough to just ask for forgiveness. I dunno what he has to do but I know that he has to do more than just being repentant.

  19. Lluvme
    November 26, 15:03 Reply

    Guys let’s forgive and welcome him into the light !!! I see this as a victory for the lgbt community!! Uncle I am sorry about your childhood and the walls you have built all these years, and I forgive you!!! But that doesn’t mean you can breath freely now!!! You have to take steps to protect others and leave that cult !!!! Drop the details of all your previous colleagues and do something to attain for all your sins !!!! Only then would you be able to breath freely !!!!! Sending you love and light !!!!! Thanks mannie

  20. Bastet
    November 26, 15:19 Reply

    Honestly I really don’t know what to say, I am a survivor of several kito experiences and I have to say at times the hurt is still there and I used to have sleepless nights and phobia but it was only after I learned to forgive that I was able to move on. I know it may be hard but give the brother a chance, he has humbled himself to apologise so we should try to accept it, even though it may be hard, we should try. Karma may come back to bite him in the ass but if the apology actually comes from a good place, he would be able to deal with the consequences.
    Remember the saying to eer is human but to forgive is divine. As for me bro, you have my full forgiveness and I will always pray so you wouldn’t fall back into that business ever again and if karma comes your way, you would have the strength to deal with it.
    Much love

    • Andy
      November 26, 16:05 Reply

      You choosing to forgive him is valid but people also choosing to not forgive him is just as valid,unforgiveness is a form of accountability and seeing as the gravity of what he did has life long effects that isn’t reversible in relations to people that fell prey to his schemes I think it’s okay.
      People choosing to not forgive isn’t even equivalent to what he did and as someone else stated in the comment all this seems like a tactic to ingratiate himself further with that mannie or whatever his name is,which def seems self serving,if he’s truly sorry and wants to make amends he should send In the identities and pics of his accomplices

  21. Mitch
    November 26, 15:36 Reply

    “….and at some point during all this drama, someone came up with the idea of using me to get to other guys I’d been hooking up with. They pounced on this idea and everyone was for it. However much I was horrified by this though, I couldn’t object….”

    I completely call bullshit!
    You couldn’t refuse?
    Who the fuck do you think you’re selling these lies to? A 2 day old child?

    You are the kind of scum that doesn’t even deserve to be wiped off one’s shoes. The best way to deal with your kind is to scrape you off thoroughly on the ground.

    Listen, I don’t care how hurt you were as a child. We all were hurt in one way or another, some of us more than others. But, we did not turn around to fucking prey on our own community!

    Jesus fucking Christ!

    I’ve known cultists, both gay and heterosexual.
    The gay ones always, ALWAYS, look out for other gay people. They help, they protect, they guard. Not prey on them.

    What I find most disturbing and disgusting about all that you did is that you think an apology to Pink Panther and the Kitodiaries community is enough to assuage your guilt – which, BTW, you should carry till the day you die – over years of recklessly preying on your fellow humans. On people you share a common disdain and hate from society with.

    Nigga, this is NOT an apology.
    It’s a self serving attempt to ingratiate yourself further with “your boo”.

    You want to apologise?
    Go and look for EVERY SINGLE VICTIM of your criminal activities and, not just apologise but, make amends. Lives were ruined by the evil you unleashed. You can only find peace by doing what is right. And, this ain’t it. Not by a fucking far stretch.

    PS: While you’re at it, fucking expose the rest of that stupid ass bunch of no-good fools you ran this entire operation with. You’ve opened up a door of revenue for them. You’d be an even bigger fool than I already think you are to think they’d have stopped using it simply because you decided to stop.

    • Sworld
      November 26, 16:53 Reply

      @ your prospective boyfriend @ Manny.

      pls if you know what’s good for you? Flee!. This one will destory you one mid night. Be warned.

  22. Haiku
    November 26, 15:42 Reply

    I’m unapologetically skeptical of this!
    How can one willfully join a cult but still claim he is vulnerable to every choice that comes with it all…
    It’s pittier how IH makes one harm so many people and all of a sudden you love one person who’s adorable, weren’t the rest adorable too?…It is still sad you still have this Kitoing troupe as your friends… Do something practically positive.. do more than this

  23. Mariposa
    November 26, 15:58 Reply

    Reading this, I got scared, shaking and was in tears… You literally took your Hurt and pain, inflicted on your own Kind…
    So Speechless… I forgive you and I hope other people who went through such an ordeal finds it in their heart to Forgive You…

    Help the Community in your own way… Expose these miscreants as well…

  24. Sworld
    November 26, 16:42 Reply

    If I make comment JSP this blog will catch fire!. Your sorry were not even mean to my reading alone!.

  25. handsomekiller
    November 26, 16:55 Reply

    let’s say he didn’t supposedly find love or what ever it is he found
    he’d most definitely be on a kito spree till now
    so this halfbaked apology is not for anyone on here……………
    and to think he kitoed his own friends…… SMH

    I for one think his face should be put on “kito alert ” INcase he falls out of love

    • Delle
      November 26, 21:19 Reply

      😂😂😂😂

      Couldn’t help this. The last line!

  26. Colossus
    November 26, 16:58 Reply

    There is no forgiveness in these streets. May you find the peace you seek, may we all.

  27. Angry
    November 26, 17:15 Reply

    I wanted to say something nice and sweet but I cant. Do you know how gay people have suffered? Oh wait, you do, you inflict pain because you so dread your real self.

    Go to hell and die. No, kill yourself. You really should kill yourself. Buy a bottle of sniper and do it. You’re a miserable peice of shit who should not live another day. Die and rid this world of the evil that is you. If sniper is too difficult then buy a rope, tie it to your ceiling fan and hang. You do not deserve life. Kill yourself, maybe in death you may find redemption because as long as you live you will never.

    Also, your life will never be useful. If you killed yourself then youd have gone with some dignity. If you do not then youd be living like a coward, which you are. You think it’s easy to be effeminate ? Of course you know it’s not, that’s why you joined a cult and messed up your life and that of others. And this brings me back, your only redemption is in death, and it is better that you do it yourself. So, kill yourself. Do it this night, your life is worthless. Your death alone can atone for your sins.

    • Stein
      November 27, 11:49 Reply

      Dude, as much as what he did is horrific and maybe unforgivable, you shouldn’t tell people to go kill themselves.
      If another post comes tomorrow and shows that he actually did commit suicide, would you honestly be happy about it?
      Someone said forgiveness is an option, you don’t have to forgive him if you don’t want to

  28. Williams
    November 26, 18:50 Reply

    You didn’t have to write anything.

    This is just a story.

    How could you do all that? A member of our community who also feels our struggle and pain….

    I’m not forgiving you for anything. You should be arrested and purnishhed for traumatizing people.

  29. Higwe
    November 26, 19:24 Reply

    The comments here are really vitriol .

    Jeez !

    This is a brother that was headed towards perdition but managed to find his way back.

    I’d like to think that the purpose of this group is not just to expose kitoers but also act as a rehabilitation center for repentant kitoers , who would get to read first-hand all the deleterious and malignant effects of their deeds and its lasting effects on their victims .

    Yes, what he did was downright evil and inhumane but the most important thing is that he’s trying to atone for them .
    Bravely putting out this story and reaching out to some of his past victims are definitely steps in the right direction .

    Instead of these sockdolager weighted condemnations , he should be encouraged so others can follow suit .

    While I don’t wholly agree that traumas of childhood can make one this evil and nasty – I do agree that a lot of people in an effort to live a false identity have lost their footings and fallen into dozakh.

    Whether we like it or not , every gay man in the world is a victim .
    If you were lucky enough to not let your victimhood transform you to an evil genuis , be thankful for it but try not to be too sanctimonious …we all are guilty of sins and evils perpetrated against others and ourselves …the magnitude makes all the difference .

    Manny , I’m so proud of you .
    You’ve done what many haven’t been able to accomplish .
    This is clearly a difficult time and I think it’s gonna get even more difficult , I wish you all the strength in the world .

    James Patrick , I’ve been a victim of kito myself and though it is a peccadillo compared to some of the nasties submitted here , but a kito experience is daunting… no one should pray to experience it.

    I’m not permitted to speak for others because I understand their grievances, but I forgive you .
    I’m hoping your atonement won’t just end on the pages of kitodiaries .
    Working on dissolving those groups and exposing your past accomplices who are still hell bent on carrying on with such wicked act should be top of your list.

    You saved one Manny , but there are many Mannies out there that aren’t so lucky.
    Your new job is to ensure that you do your best to protect them .

    • Ikenna
      November 27, 08:16 Reply

      Thank you Wigwe for speaking my mind. I love you and would really love to know you more.❤️

  30. Optimus
    November 26, 21:37 Reply

    I for one believe that as humans we are all infallible, we’ve all at some point done something really terrible to the people we’re supposed to love, or perhaps not all of us.
    What you did was cruel and heartless, even the devil can make a case for not being half as vicious. But then, it is commendable that you’ve belatedly realized your error and have decided to come to terms with it.
    Trust me this token piece of apology here on KD would do nothing to rid you of the guilt that will haunt you for a lifetime,it smacks of a lame attempt to endear yourself further to your new lover. What happens when you fall out of love with Manny? We can only imagine the kind of carnage you and your gang will unleash then.
    I’ll advise you to take it several notches further, reach out to all you’ve facilitated their kito experiences and make it up to them in any capacity you can, expose the so-called cultists as you’ve been advised already and make a clean break from their company. It all sounds a daunting prospect, but trust me that’s the only way you can find true peace of mind. Goodluck

  31. trystham
    November 26, 21:57 Reply

    I can’t say I understand all you have written In all these, my fear is for when Mannie gets tired of you (the other way round). Would your violence against queer folk button be turned on again, seeing as it is turned off ATM.

  32. Delle
    November 26, 22:02 Reply

    For such a post, you have got nerve to bear such a fancy pseudonym! James Saint-what now!?

    Your pseudonym should be Trash, and perhaps my bleeding heart will find a place to start contemplating this whole piece.

    • Mitch
      November 26, 22:32 Reply

      You even noticed the pseudonym sef. I was too fucking triggered to have given a rat’s ass about whatever he chose to call himself.

      Tufiakwa!
      People like him should have been aborted rather than born to plague the world with their evil.

  33. O_shabby
    November 26, 22:46 Reply

    Ohhhhhhh lord of mercy please continue to bear the burden because some of the people you duped and hurt them and you couldn’t get through to them do you know if there dead you have no idea how it feels but I know no matter how cured a mad person is don’t ever sleep alone with him

  34. DeadlyDarius
    November 26, 22:48 Reply

    PS: If you were not the one wronged, you cannot offer forgiveness. Forgiveness is only given by those who were hurt. So unless you know the guy personally, keep that reaction in your pocket. All it does is make a mockery of the actual victims here (to make it clear…victims are the ones who were kitoed and not the criminal or his romantic enabler who penned this). Shalom.

    • Higwe
      November 26, 23:29 Reply

      I respectfully disagree .

      His actions might have directly or indirectly orchestrated other people’s kito experiences too .

      The gay community is a pretty small community …

      This is like saying the person that bombed Hiroshima should apologize only to the family of the ones that died due to the bomb blast .

      What of the ones who lived and later got cancer ?

      What of the innocent children born with defects ?

      Evil has a way of festering and this case is probably no exception ..

      So yup , anyone that has been kitoed has the right to forgive him or not forgive .. even people that haven’t been kitoed , because his actions endangers them too …

      We are all involved in this .😎

    • Mitch
      November 27, 00:41 Reply

      Shalom unto thee, Darius.
      You see the reason why you’re my boo? You see these things very clearly.

  35. That puta, Ryan.
    November 26, 23:20 Reply

    If Mannie listened to your stories, and chose to remain, it’s great. I can’t feel the same way for Mannie, to be honest. Sis. Really?
    However. Since we are talking about you. I want you to know that you are in deep shit. Your “brothers” will feed on you when it’s time. He who rides on the back of a wild tiger will surely fall.
    I’m too drained to attack you. It’s pathetic it took a lover to drag your humanity to light, but it’s good it did, nonetheless.
    You can release the names of your squad, or you’re enabling. Also, know that Karma is real. Karma is real.

  36. Eric
    November 26, 23:34 Reply

    You don’t even know what you did. This is waste of time because you don’t know what happened to those you couldn’t reach.i just feel for them they might be laying in their grave right now.. God should just forgive you if @all you are truly remorseful or you are cooking up this to plan a bigger harvoc.

  37. Dunder
    November 26, 23:38 Reply

    That proverb “Without the input of an insider, it is impossible for a stranger to pinpoint the tombstone of a hunchback”…

    Yes, the vulnerable kid and teenager, i feel for but the Mighty Igor bastard who did not go back for revenge from those who hounded him but instead decided to mass-produce hell for people just as vulnerable as himself… I am going to need A LOT OF TIME. If Manny had not made you warm inside, would you have woken up one day and been fed up with the horror you have caused your victims? Bro, there is kito and then, being kitoed by cultists with the police, SARS and vigilantes all collaborating to wreck your life. My brother, is Manny truly safe? Will you wake up one day and miss the power you used to wield? Are you ready to give up any information to help future victims prevent encountering the coven you have coached over the years… I am not the same person I was 10 years ago. I believe change is possible and sometimes, all we need is that one chance. Please don’t disappoint that little kid who was serially taunted, your Manny and those of us who are handing you an olive branch on credit. I wish you the best but accepting this apology will take some time. You saw the eyes of your victims when your snare snapped shut- you know better than anyone that reconciliation will not be like flipping a switch.

  38. Rex
    November 26, 23:41 Reply

    Have not comment here b4 I just read Nd get guided but dis WoW it will really take a lot b4 u can attain dis forgiveness, if I tink of my kito experience I will never forgive u I will just wish to see Nd stab u to death but I have put dat behind me…broda u need a lot to do to attain dis respect Nd I tink u start with ur cultist frds cus I knw Dey er still in d kito game…’FORGIVENESS’ attain it stop begging for it cus u won’t get it dat way.

  39. IBK
    November 27, 00:07 Reply

    I believe people can change and I am inclined to believe his apology. But writing words isn’t enough. The damage done to the survivors is real and lasting… What you do to fix that needs to be more than words.

    Also, if you’re reading this, the anger directed at you from the comments is deserved. If you feel like it isn’t then you have not really changed. I hope you can see just how much hurt and pain your activities may have cause people and this will spur you on to actually do something to make a change.

  40. Rexy
    November 27, 00:07 Reply

    Rubbiiiiiiishhhh!!!!!!!
    Nonsense arrant nonsense!!!!!!!

    If only you know how many of your victims have committed suicide because of you!!!
    Then you’ll walk straight to the nearest kiosk and ask for Snipper…

    Idiot,
    You wanna feel better for being a bastard abiiiiiiiiii, you have fallen in love and you think your cultists are gonna let you go free…

    Biiiiaaaaatch!!
    No just no…

    An eye for an eye,
    Sword for sword…

    Miss Karma is surely gonna pay your sorry ass a visit bitch.. surely, jukwaese…

    Manny darling run for your life because you probably won’t be spared if you are caught in the web with this piece of shit.

    You have the guts to beg for apology, you should commit suicide and go beg God that created us himself..

    You feel you can run from your shadows but no bitch your past is stuck with you.

    We kito victims never get over it like never fucking ever, everyday I watch my back, everyday I tense up even after 4 years, I can’t be in a stable relationship bcos I can’t even go on a simple date.

    But here you are you found love in a kito plot, Miss Karma is really a Butch she is cooking something delicious for you and no matter how far you run your plate of perdition awaits you fool….

    I feel like strangulating you right now ..

  41. Mancho
    November 27, 06:37 Reply

    I’m shocked by all the death threats being spewed out here. It simply shows that you al who’re threatening him are inherently violent and given the right circumstances, you’ll harm any one and think little about what you did, which is exactly the same thing that happened to James St Patrick. How can you expect to be understood and loved by the heterosexual world when you can’t even bring yourself to understand and love one of our own who did something terribly wrong but is now on the path to self redemption? I understand those who find it hard to accept his apology but the death threats and the hope that he uses sniper to commit suicide? That’s just terrible!

    That said, what he did was wrong, I’ve never been in a Kito situation and don’t ever want to be so I can only imagine how badly he has hurt many people as a result. He is however trying to make amends, and we should help him by showing support and suggesting how he should go about it properly. With all the threats I’m not even sure he’ll want to show his picture anymore, talk less of expose the other guys in his cult! With the kind of horrible comments here I know for sure that if he exposes any of his cult members here, some people will reach out to the cult members and let them know who exposed them in an attempt to get back at James. So in the end, we ALL lose.

    Please learn not to allow pain to guide your choices especially your choice of words and action because in the end, it’s the very thing that pushed James to become a cultist in the first place.

    • Rexy
      November 27, 21:11 Reply

      Oga if you’ve never been Kitoed you can never ever ever ever ever understand the feeling trust me… No matter of explaining with suffice… So please.

  42. Q-MARA
    November 27, 07:22 Reply

    Wow! The comments on here i’ll like to say are all valid. Writing about it is a good start, but its not enough. I for one feel you haven’t written enough. Try this: take time to reminisce on as many kito job you masterminded and write about them. Reflect and let the pain and hurt take its course. Write them without holding back any single detail. Post them on here. By so doing you’ll be helping the community and yourself. Then, your actions afterwards toward securing the community around you and beyond will be another step to your healing. It wnt be easy, but let Manny be your strength.
    OAN: Thank you Manny.

    • trystham
      November 28, 06:38 Reply

      THIS!!!! Just write about all the kito you have been involved in. Find out about where these victims are and prolly call them up to apologize to them.

      As I read through these comments, I look at the unprecedented outings for victims, embarrassments, the subsequent conversion camps, prayers and vigils, the disownings, suicidal thoughts…boy, u have A LOT TO DO

  43. pankar
    November 27, 09:32 Reply

    As powerful as you said you were, you couldn’t protect Sucre from the guys interrogation. You weren’t powerful

    • pankar
      November 27, 09:36 Reply

      Reading further, I now see you were ‘relatively new to the brotherhood’. I lost my patience to Finnish up the read before my first commenting. Sad thing You all did

  44. Dave
    November 27, 10:14 Reply

    You think starting with a pitiful story will help anything. You have inflicted too many pains for so many and you deserve none. Do you know the kind of stigma you have uprottted, that can never be cleansed. Many lives has been shattered disrupted ended cause of this traumatic event you and your cohorts find joy doing. All I can I see a two faced being that can switch any any point in time.

    These hooligans dont ever take pity on their victims when kitoed. They always forget we are human first before any Goddamn thing, now you want our forgiveness! Kolewerk.

    Perhaps if you can bring back the lifes that were lost, erase the trauma you inflicted. Then we can give it a second thought.

    As a survivor, it’s a No No. And you deserve no peace!

  45. OD
    November 27, 10:15 Reply

    I am not happy with his actions, but I’m not going to wish him death and all sorts because of that. He has come to terms with his actions and is seeking redemption.

    You all preach love and light for the gay community, why don’t you extend the same love to some one who was lost and is now found?

    I have not been kitoed before, or let me say I was almost kitoed and I still see the human being once in a while on social media, he even sent a friend request and I blocked him. So I have an understanding of how someone kitoed will be hurt and broken.

    But you all bashing him so violently will not stop him from being transformed by LOVE. If love didn’t stop him, who else or what would have stopped him from harming people?

    He was prodigal, and now he seeks forgiveness. Instead of bashing him and asking to see his face (what do you need to see his face for?), advice him to reach out to all he has hurt and ask them for forgiveness, those are the ones whose forgiveness he needs not yours.

    And also, he can give you their Modus Operandi but not give out the face of his cult brothers for his own safety. And you all will have to deal with not having to see their faces.

    It’s just disappointing to see that this is an example of mob mentality in the gay community.

    Dear James, if you or your lover is reading this.
    Thank you for telling your truth. That’s the first step to restitution. You should find those guys who you’ve greatly offended and apologize to them and let’s hope they forgive you. And then like your lover said, you should find a way to leave the cult because if you are going to be a changed man, you would need to do away with the negative energy and that includes your cult brothers.
    I hope you find your path and follow the light to redemption.

    And to all you readers and commenters, guide your anger so you do not become that same thing you abhor.

  46. Rudy
    November 27, 11:37 Reply

    Actions they say speaks louder than words. We’ve heard your apologies but it doesn’t end there, what you and your cohorts did tantamount to crime but it’s quite unfortunate that such actions are rather exulted in the environment we find ourselves for that reason you have gone scot-free without any punishment whatsoever, however something definitely has to give. In this case you!
    You have to make amends and talking about it is just but a start.
    Expose the people you worked with on this platform so the “community” you finally feel a part of could know, desist and even report such people when they find themselves webbed in their trouble.
    Reach out to the people you’ve hurt and warrant an apology(that will be their prerogative to accept or not) but it will be the least you could do.
    This will be a great start. Most importantly make peace with yourself and take it from there.
    A word to the wise is enough.

  47. Stein
    November 27, 12:01 Reply

    I think I had an opinion on how I should feel, I was stuck between forgiveness and condemnation.
    Then, I read all the comments and I was certain that I knew that I should forgive him, mostly because I’ve never had a kito experience; maybe if I had, my response might be different.
    It’s still not enough for him to ask for forgiveness tho. This has been said before but, Manny, if you’re seeing this comment, tell JSP to give PP the names of all his accomplices and to individually ask for forgiveness from people he hurt

  48. Black Coffee
    November 27, 12:59 Reply

    Arrrgh, the comments here though.
    Big ups Manny, you did a good job. Quite commendable.

    Now JSP, this is a right step in the right direction to the community which you are a member yet hurt so badly.
    Only writing this apologies is not enough, take more practical steps to making peace. Expose your partners in crime, make peace with those you’ve hurt and beg for their forgiveness and seek to protect vulnerable community members.
    Well, the bitterness spewed here is valid as some are still in pains from their kito experiences. But please can we not send him to hades already, seeing he’s trying to make peace.

  49. Random Reader
    November 27, 13:53 Reply

    I think there is a special place in hell for gay guys who kito other gay guys. As someone who has been kitoed once before ( never told anyone before #whewww. It felt good to be able to say it out loud) . It is not the best feeling. You lose trust instantly. You are scared to even chat nor see anyone.

    It took me years to be able to forget it and still some days I remember the incident like it was yesterday. Nobody deserves to feel that way.

    Even though I live abroad now , I found it so difficult to register on SM or even meet up with people. That is what kito does to you. I am glad I have been able to put it behind me and I am in a healthy relationship.

    **I can’t wish you anything evil because it would hinder my own blessings but I think you should locate the guys you have kitoed and apologise. Some of them might have not had it easy. I know of someone whose parents had to stop his education because of kito.

  50. Rhodium
    November 27, 17:22 Reply

    What you did is really bad be it a community related or not, you didn’t for once thought you are hurting another human its just pure wickedness. I actually don’t know what you can do to be forgiven. Its just like been killing people then out of the blues you say you sorry for all you did,you had still be punished. Just cos of kito i never nurse the idea of meeting nor seeing anyone i don’t know.

  51. Chizzie
    November 27, 18:05 Reply

    Hey PP, please notify TIERS about this, tag every human rights group there is here and overseas with whatever information you have about this person. Make him so marked that he would not even be able to attain a visa out of this country or request for asylum elsewhere if need be. Its more than just saying sorry, there should be consequences.

    And you know what’s very vexing, the fact that the only reason why this one (Manny) person was spared, was because of his looks and your attraction towards him. Clearly shows how superficial and shallow you are. You aren’t sorry, you are just guilty. It’s a shame we live in a backward country with no laws, in saner climes you would be in jail and your “sorry” will count for nothing.

    I hope PP goes through with what I have advised. You will not walk out of this scot free

    Also I hope that Manny will have the common sense to distance himself from you and help facilitate whatever consequences you are to bear. Filth.

  52. Realme
    November 27, 18:37 Reply

    Sorry…sorry …sorry are you mad!!!!
    You no wey thin u don put for those guys body wey u kito. You’re useless and a huge disappointment.

    I’m sorry but your sorry mean so little …and for once in your stupid life do something ….drop your gang names all of them !!!!!

  53. Atrl likes
    November 27, 19:04 Reply

    This piece boggles my mind like I agree humans are flawed but to harm people at that level and use your childhood experience of bullying to minimise it is an indication of sociopathy.
    I urge you to see a therapist and work through your inner demons and people choosing to not forgive you is valid and by the way in the event you and Manny break up would the urge to harm be revived?, as for Manny the will to engage someone who’ve caused harm of the magnitude makes me side eye you.

  54. Tamuno
    November 27, 19:26 Reply

    James Saint fucking Patrick, like seriously, that got me angry, if you watch the series Power, you’d understand.
    But forgiveness is the hardest of all virtues, but I think Mercy and Justice should equal forgiveness.
    I think the writer needs to do restitution for the rest of his earthly days, we all have sinned, but brother this your sin is competing with the weight of the universe.
    I think you need to offer more like being a vanguard for the community and exposing kito cults and gangs.

  55. Pinkdaville
    November 27, 20:05 Reply

    Please help me to understand what you wrote!
    Sorry!
    Sorry!!!
    Why do you people abuse this word, I feel like crying I swear!
    Do you know what the word ‘kito’ means
    It’s one word that has changed my life till date.
    And you type a long essay to apologise
    Like the apology will erase all that you and those animals you call brothers have done!
    I hope you find light though!
    I forgive you but I am just one drop in an ocean!
    Peace!

  56. Skye
    November 27, 20:23 Reply

    It’s kind of strange that a some of us think being a member of the community gives people free passes to misbehave because they will always be welcomed back with love.. since the world hates us we should love ourselves no matter what, right? The writer was involved in criminal activities, period. In a sane country he’d be prosecuted.

    Those that haven’t been kitoed are shocked at the curses and death threats in the comments. I consider myself to be a very non-violent person but anytime I think about my Kito experience, violent thoughts come to me. I would say I got off easy (I lost material things which can always be recovered), but there are people out there who weren’t as fortunate. As mentioned above, people have lost their lives, families, homes, education, jobs and peace of mind because of such experiences. The damage done most often is unforgivable. So you may not like that people are expressing their violent thoughts but they are valid thoughts, considering the circumstances. Even the heterosexual world doesn’t take it lightly with criminals.

    To the writer, you are not a kid. You are an adult and you should know what is right or wrong. You made the decision to engage in this act (multiple times) as an adult. You got looks of hurt and betrayal from your FRIENDS as they were kitoed, yet you didn’t stop. I guess none of them was attractive enough so you didn’t care. You even managed to make it sound like Sucre got what he deserved because he had an attitude. Same action you took for Manny could have been taken for someone else much earlier and you’d have ended up destroying less lives. It’s a good thing Manny came along, otherwise you’d have continued destroying lives and enriching yourself in the process. It’s mind-boggling how you facilitated the punishment of a crime that you were very much guilty of yourself. You didn’t have a conscience before Manny and I’m doubtful you’ve suddenly gained one overnight. An apology means nothing without a conscience and the jury is still out regarding that.

    I do not wish you evil but be mindful of the fact that you reap what you sow.

  57. Kingben
    November 27, 20:37 Reply

    Reading the comments here got me thinking…
    He said he’s sorry and he’s feeling remorsed about it. Pls we’re family and he’s family too just that he went out of line. Let’s stop condemning him and look for a way to stop those perpetrators from harming more people

    • Black power
      November 30, 14:30 Reply

      Oga forgive him and be going,don’t be a clown referring to him as our family

  58. Chidinma
    November 27, 21:11 Reply

    People don’t owe you any forgiveness. Forgive yourself for the horrible things you’ve done. Commit to being a decent person from now. Protect those you can from being kitoed in the future if you can. That is all you can do. People have trauma and it is okay if they refuse to forgive you.

    • Lyanna
      November 28, 21:21 Reply

      Beautiful comment. This had me going w-h-o-a..

  59. RichieMichie
    November 27, 22:45 Reply

    Mehnnn, I have never laughed this hard reading comments here o n kd. Truelly, hell hath no furry like a gay man kitoed😁😁😁
    At first I was livid, but seeing these comments made me somewhat empathetic towards the writer_even though this is not an apology but a self serving

    • DeadlyDarius
      November 28, 08:29 Reply

      You obviously have never been kitoed brutally before. Keep laughing. Its all very funny.

      Smh.

  60. flexsterous
    November 28, 04:57 Reply

    I’d like to be as angry as you guys, but I for some reason can’t. Maybe its because I know an environment has more power than we think to shape us into what it wants, because I’m pretty sure if I wasn’t gay and personally knowledgeable on what its like to be gay, I’d probably be as homophobic as the majority of Nigeria is. When society has told us something is wrong, we want to distant ourselves from it, and some of us do things that are unspeakably vile. But that being said, I know saying the words isn’t enough, cause even though I have been kitoed, mine is relatively milder than the ones I’ve read on here, so forgiveness isn’t mine to give.

  61. Kams
    November 28, 07:19 Reply

    This is not an apology. You don’t use “but” in apology. You even blamed Sucre’s attitude, which I think is borne out of care, as your reasons for doing what you did. I don’t accept this apology at all.

    • Lyanna
      November 28, 20:24 Reply

      There’s no perfect way to say sorry. Nothing is perfect. So is the truth.

  62. swan dragon
    November 28, 14:56 Reply

    hurt people hurt people. Some of us carry still bleeding wounds inflicted by our parents. The truth is, most of our parents who are guilty are just as broken…if not worse. Many of them dont know what love is. Its really sad. Sometimes, the fires and the shadows of life stains souls. Am glad he found salvation. A lot of the comments i see here are from the same wounded people who haven’t healed. Because if you have healed, you won’t payback evil for evil. Paying back doesn’t even heal you.

  63. swanDragon
    November 28, 15:01 Reply

    hurt people hurt people. Some of us carry still bleeding wounds inflicted by our parents. The truth is, most of our parents who are guilty are just as broken…if not worse. Many of them dont know what love is. Its really sad. Sometimes, the fires and the shadows of life stains souls. Am glad he found salvation

  64. Peaches
    November 28, 17:56 Reply

    The hell you unleash on people. I knew some of you had something like a conscience. I have a scar on my scalp, a constant reminder about the existence of the likes of you. I accept your apology, i deserve it. God bless Manny too. As for you, I can only pray that it turns out well for you. That you make something out of your life and appreciate people who appreciate you. That is my bit.

  65. S. Gacs
    November 28, 18:43 Reply

    Wow,brothers, pls let’s forgive him, I’m glad at least two persons who was kitoed forgave him!!

    It took a lot to even pen this down.
    Have you ever been blackmailed,humiliated etc, first we should tnk goodness that brought the young chap who broke him and brought him to his senses!!

    Do you know what could have happened to him as a young cultist with fear of the unknown if he refused to do as he was bidden?

    He did wrong, but we can’t right him by doing wrong too. Let love lead!!

    Our community is all about love and care.

    Let’s welcome him, then know what to do with others who are still in the business of doing evil.

    finally at poster, we need to know all those who are involved in this evil, you know how we can get to them, help us bring evil and hatred for your family members (the community) to an end.

    It’s another step and prove that you are repented…

    • Mitch
      November 29, 06:30 Reply

      “oUr CoMmUnItY iS aLl AbOuT lOvE aNd CaRe”

      Ogbeni, carry your clownery and geddifok…..!

      • S. Gacs
        November 29, 14:43 Reply

        Mitch pls cut me some slack. cos we die here together unless you’re going out, just let the chap be okay

  66. Felix
    November 29, 09:39 Reply

    Apologies physically to your victims for closure.
    Then expose all your gang members, then look for a therapist cuz you’ve been thru a lot.
    Then leave that bloody cult.

  67. Flex254
    November 29, 13:22 Reply

    SORRY IS A SORRY WORD.

    If there was a prospect a number people would send you to hell, right now, you’d be Burning and Wailing .(With a NO return ticket of course.) Unless you seek therapy and closure with you past (apologize physically to all your victims -living or dead-) , I don’t think a keyboard ‘’sorry’’ works in this shit life you PERMANENTLY brought upon innocent guys who in an already homophobic society, had to deal with the humiliation unleashed by your conniving ass & cult cunts of friends-fuck you and fuck them for that-, coz nigger those guys got scars no amount of sorry can heal. Most are for life, which a keyboard apology can’t hold redemption for.
    Expose yourself, your gang (a detailed report of how the whole blackmail process and the locations it is carried out), plus the roles of each accomplice – here you may be helping other folks out- act with SPEED here coz time is of the ESSENCE) and leave the cult (no excuses here.)
    They shaped you into a fucking despicable monster, thus your continued stay cancels any sense of remorse for your heinous acts.(The comments expound further.) But if you can’t leave, I hope you reap, in plenty -to the extent where your cup overflows- what you’ll be sowing over there. *It’s either you’re for them or against them.

    Manny dear, the cult is of no good to the ”beholder of your looks.” MAKE him call it quits before things get out of hand, coz you’re somewhat speaking some sense to him…..

    What if he offers you as a token to them?
    Who you gonna call Manny…?? I hope not the ghostbusters….
    Those external forces aren’t to be overlooked either. You’re sense of coming out on the platform is a start to redemption.
    That being said SHAME on you for trying to justify your actions. Choices have consequences and KARMA IS A BITCH. Before she comes your way (she’ll come no matter what) make peace with your past.

  68. Lorde
    November 30, 06:55 Reply

    Holy hell…..in fact hell hath no fury…

  69. J
    December 05, 23:36 Reply

    You’re forgiven honey, you’re truly sorry and that’s what matters! Manny made you change your bad ways, he should be proud of himself. As Jesus would say, neither do I condemn you, but go and sin no more.

  70. Mike
    December 09, 23:20 Reply

    Well, I typed a bunch of long line negative and defensive shit. Erased it cause something jumped into my mind.

    “The goal of karma, is not punishment but breaking out of familiar patterns or circle, by teaching you a lesson”.

    Meaning when you learn your life lesson you break out of the pattern, truth is karma is more like a mirror teacher, than an instructor.

    If you have learnt your lesson, then you’ve broken your circle/familiar pattern. Good for you.

    But what do I do with all this heated negativity bottled in my head after reading this ?. Hmm. Well I didn’t read all your story, stopped at the paragraph, how your started out kito-ing.

    Lemme say this.
    Dunno about karma and you but I know this much.

    -you’re very selfish, you need to accept that. Everything here is just execuses, and one sided victimization. You are very selfish.

    -your problem is/was never that you were effiminate as a child. Chill that line or paragraph was just you trying to push blame to environmental factors. Lemme not associate with the story and make it about me. But macho men that had an early hips don’t lie phase and beautiful liar phase would understand.

    -you went into cultism for yourself, and yourself only, refer to the first point i made, they’re connected here. You tried to push it on your friends or need for validation. But only one who craves power, goes to where power is.

    -you are the victim in your story, your life so far and you’re also the perpetrator. Until you understand this, you’re not going anywhere. This here is the ABC behind the psychology of bullying. Even duo I understand this, a part of me still wants your head.

    -you’re still very much effiminate, forget muscle, it is not in the walk, lisps or slangs That makes one effiminate or macho. Nope, it’s in the strength of character, mark the word character here.
    Why I say your still effiminate here is, your not owning up to your story, your still a victim, your still feeling inferior in all of this.

    And all of a sudden, all that negativity is gone. Namaste.

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