When Gay Men Were Asked, ‘What’s One Piece of Advice You Have For Straight Men?’, They Said…

When Gay Men Were Asked, ‘What’s One Piece of Advice You Have For Straight Men?’, They Said…

“What advice do you have for straight men?” This was the question posed to gay men on Reddit. And the following are some of the best answers:

  1. Take care of your fingernails. Get a manicure once in a while. Hands are sexy. – Grailclipper
  2. Do not assume all gay/bi men are interested in you. – JonSnowInTheTardis
  3. We hear a lot from your girlfriends. Like, a lot. If we’re close, she’ll tell us the whole story. And one thing I’ve learned from woman I know/hardly know/have literally met that night, is that penis size doesn’t matter. Most women and gays would much prefer a guy who knows what he’s doing than someone who just sits on his high horse because his Johnson’s above average. And yeah, there are size queens, but they aren’t important. – itriedtobenice
  4. Eat lots of pineapple and honey. 😉 – xavierdc
  5. Try to stop worrying too much when interacting with women you fancy; I’ve known a fair few of my straight friends incapable of flirting with women, whereas I’ve had to turn down the same women without even realizing I was seeming flirtatious because I was just talking to them as I would anyone else without any agenda. – Birtyboy
  6. As long as a gay friend isn’t crushing on you, we’re really good at helping you figure out if a girl is right for you or if you’re just blinded by desire. I saw so many friends in college chase after girls that were completely wrong for them, just because of their looks. Gay men totally do the same thing when it comes to other men, so we can use your help as a filter as well. – BrobearBerbil
  7. Clean up. Personal hygiene is key. Shower and deodorant. We guys sweat and can stink. A good cologne will make the ladies swoon. Also guys, you can moisturize, lotion is fine. Also a nicely groomed beard is a good thing. – mattie4fun
  8. Don’t treat your gay friends any differently than any of your other friends. If you’re physically affectionate with your other friends but actively avoid doing so with your gay friend, we notice. If you have no trouble walking into a public bathroom with your other friends, but wait until your gay friend is done before going in, we notice. – thegreatpablo
  9. Don’t be scared to really get in and scrub the old sheriff’s badge, and there should always be a good scrubbing down there between your last number 2 and the next time you might have sex. I’ve had female friends confide that the smell turns them off from BJs, but then find out the smell they’re talking about isn’t just normal musk, but just poor butt hygiene. I feel bad for ladies who think this is just how guys are. Have also heard this is worse among hotter guys, which I guess makes sense since people might not tell them as often that there’s a problem. – BrobearBerbil
  10. We can tell that your homophobia/discomfort around us is often rooted in insecurity about your own sexuality. More often than not, homophobia = curious about the cock just a little bit. We’ve been dealing with homophobes for most of our lives, so we can smell it from a mile away. – InvisibleInkling
  11. If you’re wearing sweatpants, everyone can see your pecker. – accretion_disc
  12. Three words: Mow. The. Lawn. – soundslikepuget
  13. As a gay man, I just want to say that it’s ok to express your emotions. It’s also ok to discuss your feelings and may even help your relationship with a significant other. Too many men today put their feelings in an air tight container and end up losing part of themselves, yet feel it’s the right course of action to preserve their machismo. – Cananbaum
  14. Be confident, not creepy. I have seen so many good looking guys totally blow it when hitting on my female friends. – mattie4fun
  15. Look a girl in the eyes. Keep your gaze off her breasts and ass. – wystanII
  16. If you truly hate gays, don’t be too obvious about it. In my experience, the men who are most overtly uncomfortable around gays are the ones most willing to mess around with me after a few beers. – TheCityWantsMeDead
  17. Don’t be so afraid to be feminine! You wanna wax your eyebrows, go ahead, you’re not less of a man. Wanna dye your hair bright colors? Go ahead! Wanna paint your nails? Go ahead. Wanna wear a skirt? Go ahead! Your manliness is decided by you, not your lack of femininity. – ViolaExplosion
  18. The only cologne you will ever need is musk. Apply a small dab behind each ear and to each wrist. It blends with the scent of you to make you smell like a more attractive animal, so even if you get sweaty after you’ve applied it, people will think you meant to smell that way. – themcp
  19. Don’t ask us who tops or who bottoms and especially don’t ask “Which one of you is the man?” If you have questions about gay people, politely ask if you can ask us a few questions. Odds are we’ll be happy to answer your questions if you give us a heads up before asking us for details about our sex lives. – InvisibleInkling
  20. Listen to women. They may not be telling you things expecting you to fix the problem. They might just want you to listen and show empathy. – Simpawknits

*

And that’s it for Redditors. So, KDians, how about y’all; if you had one piece of advice to give straight guys here in Nigeria, what would it be?

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58 Comments

  1. ken
    December 11, 05:11 Reply

    Hygiene! Hygiene! Hygiene!
    Dear so-called str8 men: being str8 is not an excuse to be disgusting! Your boxers dont need to be on for weeks on end. Hell no! Those stinky draws must be changed at the most every 2days. No panties for more than a day. And dont even get me started on ur stinky socks! If u must wear stinky torn socks, pls, pls, rub your feet with dettol/aboniki/drummer air freshner and tie it with cellophane – for the sake of we the innocent bystanders. Tank u

    • Dennis Macaulay
      December 11, 07:06 Reply

      Oh I can’t Stress the hygiene enough!

      Boxer shorts for two weeks straight! Boarding school was torture for me!

    • Cho
      December 12, 00:00 Reply

      Boxers should be changed everyday actually! Judging by our weather. If you live in a temperate country then you could do 2 days.

  2. pete
    December 11, 06:36 Reply

    “Do not assume all gay/bi men are interested in you. – JonSnowInTheTardis”

    Dazzall

  3. Dennis Macaulay
    December 11, 07:10 Reply

    1. Don’t ask stupid questions like “who is the man and who is the woman”? There are no women here, just two men in love.

    2. I am not interested in every gay man in the world, don’t try to hook me up with your cousin who came out to you.

    3. Don’t go overboard trying to prove how open minded you are that it also becomes a form of discrimination. Treat me like you treat the rest of your friends.

    4. Every gay man is not interested in you, and your ass and yes there are Bottoms too so don’t make jokes about “iron pant” all the time.

    • Pink Panther
      December 11, 07:12 Reply

      Number 4 is just it. When I hear straight guys make the joke about how their nyash is under threat from gay men, I laugh. I’m like, hunnay, I wouldn’t know what to do with your nyash if it’s the last organism on earth.

      • ken
        December 11, 07:25 Reply

        Lmao
        Dayyum! Pp u so badt 😉

      • Delle
        December 11, 08:03 Reply

        Azin ehn! The guys that say that ‘iron pant’ of a thing just end up making me laugh than annoyed. In the pool of their hate, they haven’t taken time out to understand that while some gay guys may be ‘arse freaks’, others do not want arse near them!(except, of course, to grab on to it while some romping is going on). The most irritating part is that many of them that say that, have arses to be compared to the sole of one’s slipper!

  4. Jaden
    December 11, 07:22 Reply

    Don’t be afraid to be in touch with your feminine side. After all, you started life as a female.

    • ken
      December 11, 12:29 Reply

      Is a lie o. Me na MAN from inception/ ;o

      Btw am not even a gay, I just like preeks :). Thanks

  5. ambivalentone
    December 11, 07:37 Reply

    Looool. Honey and Pineapple? That xavierdc is such a cum dump
    Violaexplosion has it right
    My advice to straight guys is “MIND. YOUR. BUSINESS” The way y’all harp about the feminine guy who just passed, one begins to really wonder who is gay cos they sure as hell don’t know u or see u

  6. Delle
    December 11, 07:53 Reply

    LMFAO! The Shade of it All!

    My Own Bit: Please, do not think I am a girl trap. Just because I am ‘opportuned’ to have more female than male friends doesn’t mean I have them to sell them! Stop coming to me to get their numbers, stop cajoling me to talk to them on ur behalf and when I don’t, u cuss at my femininity!
    My girls complain about you guys smelling horrible between the legs. Being all butch and burly doesn’t mean you should let yourself go. Do not wear a pair of boxers for 2 straight weeks (hostel boys are the worst!). It ain’t nice, and to think they come telling me the horrendous experience, it kills the vibes I may have around you. Thanks.

  7. Sinnex
    December 11, 08:00 Reply

    Please stop sagging because you think girls find it attractive, if you know what your fellow guy is thinking of doing to you, you’d not sag ever again.

  8. Maximus
    December 11, 08:12 Reply

    “Take care of your fingernails. Get a manicure once in a while. Hands are sexy. – Grailclipper” << ???.

    I think one of the first things I check out in people is their finger nails, once its dirty, my mind will already be telling me that he's straight.
    Hygiene oh, chai!!! It cannot be overemphasized. Socks shouldn't be worn more than once. One pair a day. The worst part is that they're almost always totally clueless about how disgusting they actually look/smell.
    And please, most straight men aren't attractive, once I think about how dirty their asshole would be, it does a good job of numbing my mind.
    I have a short list of things that are peculiar to straight men:
    Dirty socks/smelly feet
    Dirty/mangled finger/toe nails
    Disgusting dry lips
    Unkept and untreated hair
    Bad breath
    Bad grooming (beards, side burns etc)
    Lackluster dressing
    Dirty/torn singlet and boxers
    Dirty armpit
    Bad at eating (they get food and oil all over their mouth and won't shut up while at it)
    Stop talking about girls all the time!!! Gosh, I can't deal.
    And please drinking beer doesnt increase your masculinity
    Bright colors would really look good on you, stop wearing those aweful looking clothes just because you think bright colors are for ladies, even though you secretly wish you could wear it.

  9. sensei
    December 11, 08:23 Reply

    Being straight is not a military or Olympic medal. So please put it out of sight. Again note the following…

    1. Unlike proper achievements, you had absolutely no say concerning what sexual orientation you would have. Can you remember ever sitting down to ponder about what orientation to choose before becoming “straight”? Q.E.D

    2. Being straight doesn’t automatically make you a good human being. Unless you decide to start having sex on the streets, we won’t even notice and won’t even know till you open your mouth.

    3. If you are straight and homophobic, know this: talk is cheap, hate doesn’t require genius. Wanna prove you have a brain? Try understanding. Meanwhile know that you are equally hated too…even more. Why? Google “Law of karma”.

    4. If you say you are confused about homosexuality, then that’s what you are: confused. Child, receive brain!

    5. If you are very afraid of being turned gay after “one mouth”. Fear not, child. It’s abideth in thee.

    • Mandy
      December 11, 09:06 Reply

      Hahahahahahahahahaaa! Sensei, I didn’t know you had it in you

      • sensei
        December 11, 09:24 Reply

        It abideth in me also, I guess. Haha

    • Mitch
      December 11, 09:08 Reply

      Sensei, I bow to thy brains!

      • sensei
        December 11, 09:24 Reply

        Mitch, I mirror your bow! Lol

  10. sensei
    December 11, 08:36 Reply

    6. Now this is VERY IMPORTANT.

    GAY SEX DOES NOT MAKE A PERSON GAY.

    • Brian Collins
      December 11, 12:01 Reply

      Gbam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Cho
      December 12, 00:04 Reply

      ??? Really? Makes the person curious? Just asking please.

  11. Khaleesi
    December 11, 09:03 Reply

    Hmmm … My advise to straight men; here goes
    1. If you think all gay men want you, you need to have your head examined, its more likely than not that most of us dont want you. Thats not to say there arent hot straight men who are lusted after by gays – but those are in the minority!

    2. Hygiene!! A good deodorant and a thorough shower 2x a day can work wonders in this regard.

    3. Take 5 mins to look in the mirror before you leave the house, do those colors match? What were you thinking when you bought those baggy and ill-fitting clothes? Didnt anyone teach you how to dress to show off your best assets? Dont you know Mr Right or Ms Right could be out there today? Oh shoot i forgot you’re straight!

    4. Do you really need to drink all that beer everyday and eat all that starch every day? Haven’t you figured out that its a major reason youve put on so much weight since we graduated from Uni? – ignore this if you have great metabolism or you’re still a student – the stress of school in naija will keep u trim.

    5. Watch your body movements, you dont have to act like a lumbering gorilla, you can act with smooth poise and grace and Still be an absolutely heterosexual male.

    6. Its utterly nauseating when you think we all want to fuck you especially if you’re not good looking enough to make it worth our while!!! ***shudders and spits****

    7. And yes, the “Iron Pants” mentioned by DM, plz stop doing that, it makes you look so ignorant and obnoxious … Some of us like asses, some like dicks, and ummm. … Some of us like both lol. …

  12. Stein
    December 11, 09:29 Reply

    2. Do not assume all gay/bi men are interested in you

  13. JustJames
    December 11, 09:55 Reply

    The above could go for a number of gay guys too sha…

  14. bruno
    December 11, 10:02 Reply

    1. “gay” is an adjective as well as a noun.

    2. stop being insecure about your sexual orientation. no one turns anyone gay. if you can be turned gay, you already are.

    3. stop cheating on your girlfriends

    • Maximus
      December 11, 13:09 Reply

      Lmfao @No 3…
      Let me modify it a bit:
      Stop cheating on your girlfriends and telling us(boasting) about it, it makes you come off as a retarded asshole.

  15. Marc Francis of Chelsea
    December 11, 10:42 Reply

    I was outed in high school, and this very ugly senior was making fun of me in the bathroom one day that he has to cover up now that I’m here. I told him “so with your bathroom slippers ass, you think anyone wants you?” Never bothered me again.

    In summary, being gay doesn’t make me attracted to every foot faced toad of a man.

    • Mandy
      December 11, 11:52 Reply

      The foot faced toads don’t have girls interested in them. So they’d have to take comfort from the thought that the gays might want them. Lol

  16. Teflondon
    December 11, 11:55 Reply

    In my almost 200+ Str8 Converts, I think what stands out for me between all of them is the fact that there is a bit of Bisexuality in every human. It’s all about being open minded and freeing your spirit and soul to explore new things.
    My advice to straight folks; If you think you are so homophobic you can never do gay sex, Give me a chance. A day or two will do. And let’s see how homophobic you will remain after our encounter.

    • Pink Panther
      December 11, 12:12 Reply

      You do realize that the response of an antigay guy to gay sex doesn’t mitigate his homophobia, right? In fact, if anything, the disgust he’s bound to feel over his dick responding to your touch will fuel his homophobic emotions.

      • Teflondon
        December 11, 14:34 Reply

        I agree with you somewhat!
        However, at the initial stage it might fuel his homophobic emotions but give him sometime after that, Infact completely ignore and stay away from him. He is sure to come back asking to try it one more time after which the rest is history. Maybe not 100% proven but talking from experience its 95% certian to work. I am talking from experience.
        It’s a thin line between being a straight homophobe and being an open minded bisexual being. Very thin… But people don’t realize this. We are too blinded by fear, values, beliefs, religion etc to try the “impossible”

        • Delle
          December 11, 15:02 Reply

          Why you want to keep ‘thinning’ out that line is what baffles me. Why don’t you let them come on to u? Stop converting them, I don’t know how you do it (if u actually do it) but please, stop it. Let them be. Let them know they can be straight and we could be gay and still stay on the same bed without discomfort or fear. It’s all these that spur homophobia in the first place.
          Tef there are a million and one gay guys out there waiting to be snagged by u…make use of one and let the straight ones be ooo *clapping in your face*

  17. Delle
    December 11, 11:59 Reply

    Ehen! Lest I forget, the harmattan period is here again and thus we welcome in a month of scalpy white skin and cracking, scaly lips. Applying lip gloss to your lips doesn’t make you gay o, all you STRAIGHT MEN! You could even get a lip balm in the market, this does not reduce your masculinity. I’m tired of seeing white, breaking lips. It’s disgusting!
    Otan!

    • kacee
      December 11, 14:48 Reply

      baby come and apply my red lipstick

      • Delle
        December 11, 14:58 Reply

        Oh pls, I’m no crossdresser!
        *folds arms and looks away*

  18. Jamie
    December 11, 13:28 Reply

    Dear Heterosexual boys,
    Everything hygienic is something sexy!!!

  19. kacee
    December 11, 13:43 Reply

    Look a girl in the eyes. Keep your gaze off her
    breasts and ass. – wystanII

    WOW SO TRUE STOP LOOKING AT MY BOOBS COS U AINT SEEING IT NIGGA….

    If a girl isnt interested leave her alone stop stalking my pictures #Icantdeal

    stop telling me to put on makeup and skirt its not compulsory…

    If a girl is friendly and smiles all the time while talking to you doesn’t mean she is into you that way #Ireallycantdeal
    *breathes in breathes out*

    • Delle
      December 11, 14:52 Reply

      Lol…from the mouth of a girl herself!
      I think someone should screenshot this and post it on a straight blog. The enlightenment is needed, sharp sharp!

  20. Chizzie
    December 11, 14:38 Reply

    For me its still hygiene. Especially butt hygiene. Do straight guys even wash or shave down there? Take care of your butt please straight men, especially straight Nigerian men. Tissue paper is never enough. The other day on Twitter a presumably straight person was complaining about how his butt hair was profuse and had started to itch him, anyways I sha recommended a particular hair removal cream.

    And this also applies to tops too. Please tops wash your bum bum before you shag a guy!

    Secondly I’ll advice straight guys to explore their butt holes from time to time. Let her gently finger it.. Place her vibrator tip over it from time to time. Maybe try a little anilingus ? All this after you’ve thoroughly cleaned your behind

    • kacee
      December 11, 14:47 Reply

      I’m loving that idea

    • Delle
      December 11, 14:55 Reply

      I felt so uncomfortable reading this. Oh well

    • Maximus
      December 11, 16:32 Reply

      Most straight guys would die first before they let anything close to their precious smelly asshole ??????. Don’t hold your breath on it.

  21. Dick Advocate
    December 11, 20:40 Reply

    ill tell them there is more to life than pussy, try dick sometimes it’s really not that bad.

  22. Wealth
    December 11, 22:39 Reply

    Lol been laughing my ass out since. Jeez! You guys can be so funny. The only problem I have with straight guys or anybody is hygiene,any type of odor kills my mood. Str8 guys be feeling to fly,thinking they are the best buh actually the least. And to those guys that keep saying I cover my nyash with the blood of jesus! I keep wondering who is opening the unhealthy nyash. Str8 guys can fit dirty sha o . Smh,thiarisGod.

  23. Nightwing
    December 11, 22:51 Reply

    Um quick question, “how’s em straight folks gon read all these em beautiful comments?” *wild west accent*

  24. BRYANNNN
    December 14, 09:06 Reply

    All these points written here should be woven into a handbook and handed to all vain glorious but ignorant Nigerian straight lads………The one that ticks me off the most, is that “I cover my nyash with the blood of jesus”…….But u still hear them discuss their anal sexcapades with the female folkz, you hear them discuss how succulent and tight it waz and gave dem the best feel they yearned for…….Is this not sheer stupidity??????
    TEFLONDON, converting straights, especially desirable ones cudbe self fulfilling and nice, but it takes nothing to get messy and you”ll remain in the lurch foreva…..I look very well b4 i leap…

  25. Burlesque
    December 14, 12:56 Reply

    Am emotional right now. U guyz are just xoxo funny and on point.

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