And Now We’re Equivalent To Agents Of Mammy Water. Lol

And Now We’re Equivalent To Agents Of Mammy Water. Lol

28gevisser-articleLargeA friend drew my attention to this ridiculous article written by an insignificant Nollywood director named Ugezu J. Ugezu. The piece reads like a trashy string-up of words put together to do nothing but fan the already raging flames of hate the Nigerian society has for folks like you and I. It even has a dramatic (Oh Nollywood *shakingmyhead*) title – ‘Just In Case You Are Not Gay And You Desire Never To Become One, Then You Need To Read This.’ Catchy, no? Lol.

Well, the piece is below. Read and have a good laugh at its entire ridiculousness.

*

Just in case you are not gay, and you genuinely desire never to become one someday, then you need to read this. New things are happening and as my friend and follower, I have a duty to tell you what I know is now happening. I leave you to make up your own mind.

Be very wary of guys and men that always whisper things into your ear.  Something strange happened to Mr. Gill, in a big occasion where he sat in the VIP wing as an entertainer, a certain well to do man was introduced and when this man realised he was an entertainer, he came and sat close to Gill.

He was lively and kept whispering things into Gill’s ear. Gill kept wondering what the man was up to. Before Gill could understand what was happening, in that big occasion, as this neat, well to do Alhaji whispered into his ear, he planted his tongue into Gill’s ear. It was so brief that nobody could even know that anything happened. The truth is that something has happened to Gill.

An energetic man as Mr. Gill started feeling like a woman that would like to be held by a man. A man as strong as Mr. Gill has become so weak that even when the Alhaji collected his hands and was touching them romantically, right there in the VIP, Mr. Gill was just there feeling like a woman. His soul had been caged by the demon of homosexualism. Instantly, just after the tongue got in his ear, he was already feeling like one.

Finally as he entered his car, ready to drive behind the man to his hotel, he remembered the holy oil his mother gave him, which he had in the briefcase in his trunk. Mr. Gill knew something was wrong with him but couldn’t place what it was. Just as he drank the holy oil, he felt as if something left his body through that same ear the man had kissed. Then it dawned on him what actually happened.

This world is heavily under the manipulation of the man of sin. Understand today that you are nothing without Christ. AnyThing can happen to you. They are everywhere and they are winning more men every day. Help and save that innocent man by sharing this. This is not one of the fictions of Ugezu. It happened for real, to Mr. Gill. It can happen to someone close to you. Share and save. One Love.

*

THE END. TO GOD BE THE GLORY. WATCH OUT FOR PART 2. Are you laughing yet? Well I am. I’m also pissed. Can you imagine? So our homosexual juju was not strong enough to keep Mr. Gill juju-fied long enough to convert him, ehn? The juju left space for him to have the presence of mind to sip on the holy water he conveniently had in his car?! That’s IT! I’m going to have a word with our Spirit Father. Nonsense and ingredient!

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Previous BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY
Next Love And Sex In The City (Episode 6)

About author

You might also like

The Happenings 6 Comments

In Response To The Hate, #TwoMenKissing and #TwoWomenKissing Storm The Social Media

There is one thing you can do to further the cause the victims of the Pulse shooting died for: pucker up. “I read the quote about how the killer had

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
The Happenings 57 Comments

The Unexpected Case Of Rugby Player Sam Stanley’s Boyfriend

“It’s awesome to see so many athletes being true to themselves now,” rugby player Sam Stanley wrote to Outsports’ Cyd Zeigler earlier this year. “The thing for me was never

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
The Happenings 54 Comments

The Father Who Accidentally Discovers His Teenage Son Is Gay And How He Handled It

As anyone who’s ever hopped on a friend’s computer or tablet knows, Google search history is an incredibly easy way of involuntarily snooping on the device owner’s current state of

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

21 Comments

  1. trystham
    June 19, 06:00 Reply

    Bwahahahahahaha….this is sooooo absurd. Its like the tongue gave him an instant annointing to be effeminate. Foolish man. He shouldn’t confess and say he felt aroused…saying he felt weak like a woman….ANUOFIA!!!

    • pinkpanthertb
      June 19, 06:01 Reply

      That is, IF such a person exists or such an incident happened.

  2. Chizzie
    June 19, 07:04 Reply

    this was so ridiculous I couldn’t finish reading it. and lol at “demon of homosexualism”… lol.

    • pinkpanthertb
      June 19, 07:12 Reply

      If this were to be a script for a movie, the end product would be bad. Very very BAD!

      • Regal Sweetheart
        June 19, 08:34 Reply

        The movie would have been shot and wrapped up in 2days,packaging done in 3 because of mass reproduction and all. Next week,it’d have hit the shelves in Alaba. I can see it already in the shelves……unfortunately,I don’t have a catchy enough ‘Nollywood’ title.

        *sigh*

      • John Adewoye
        June 19, 10:55 Reply

        The end product would be profitable in Nigeria where people are so naive about spirit, witches and wizards and lizards, and black cats, Not sure the source of the story, I bet people are getting new education about the power tongues from it write now.

  3. CeeCee
    June 19, 09:22 Reply

    Am utterly shocked that any of you find this funny … this is totally nauseating! There’s nothing as dangerous as a half-educated man for he’s often a fool who knows not that he does not know and by his very nature, is able to spread his foolishness far and wide. This is the product of a twisted and bigoted mind seeking to propagate his hate-fueled beliefs to a wide audience. Being a media person, you can imagine his ability to reach and influence millions of gullible persons.
    Its so so so sad, that while other parts of the world grapple with more intellectual and edifying issues, we are forced to contend with buffoons like these who in saner climes would be met with widespread outrage, anyway, what am I even saying? Nigeria’s middle name is backwardness and cruelty … smh …

    • Dennis Macauley
      June 19, 11:55 Reply

      @Cece it’s really not worth getting worked up over. A simpleton wrote something as ridiculously stupid as his brain is. Its cringe worthy yes, but just have a good laugh at his stupidity.
      Meanwhile is homosexualism now a word? *asking for a friend* LOL

      • Absalom
        June 19, 12:02 Reply

        Dennis, “homosexualism” and “gayism” are words. Nigerian words. Homophobes so obsessed with the ISM in lesbianism they forget basic grammar.

  4. KingBey
    June 19, 14:40 Reply

    All I can say is that with Alhaji’s, everything is possible…I have heard worse stories of what Alhaji’s do to guys especially money-hungry ones

      • Chizzie
        June 19, 16:23 Reply

        yes he does. so do want u do best when u see a comment dt u don’t agree with, Kvetch and be a child

        • pinkpanthertb
          June 19, 16:30 Reply

          I’ve come to realize that you’re not worth any waste of my breath anymore. Being a bitch is what you’re obviously hardwired to be. So, if it kills me, I’ve resolved that this will be my last words to you on this blog. Carry on with your distasteful attitude; hopefully, it ends on the internet and doesn’t actually translate to your real life, otherwise, you’re one to be felt very sorry for.

  5. Deola
    June 19, 16:28 Reply

    What’s sad is that people would actually buy this.

  6. InLoveWithAPHBoy
    June 19, 17:32 Reply

    Complete Ignorance, Lack Reasoning….Religious Hypocrites…
    mtcheeeewwww….*throws laptop on the floor and shoots at it 3x*

Leave a Reply