45 responses

  1. Mitch
    March 3, 2015

    Ok wow! This is a very important lesson for us all. HIV+ or not, a lot of us do not love ourselves and by extension, are not good to ourselves. Thanks for the call to order Bobby.

    Reply

  2. Samurai
    March 3, 2015

    Love finds everybody who opens their hearts to her and if there is enough time.
    this reminds me of Michael in Queer As Folk.
    When he realised his boyfriend (pardon me, I’ve forgotten the boyfriend’s name) was HIV+, he was shocked at first but he accepted it whole-heartedly and even went to the extent of asking for unprotected sex (that was extreme sha).

    Even when the boyfriend started feeling so down and dejected over the HIV thing, Michael was always there for him, encouraging him. Even when Michael’s family found out about the boyfriend’s status and started trying to discourage Michael, he stood up for his boyfriend against his family.

    See, nobody should underestimate the power of love. Love, True love transcends whatever limitations the human mind can conjur. I’ve personally seen many mixed status couples (though heterosexual).

    Love will find you. It is a promise.
    Whatever you do, do not give up on that.
    At least, I’m happy you’ve started loving yourself.

    Reply

    • Brian Collins
      March 3, 2015

      I wonder if it will be the same with Oliver and Connor *spoiler alert*

      Reply

  3. Pete
    March 3, 2015

    Bobby

    Reply

  4. Peak
    March 3, 2015

    Hmmm

    I need to gather my thoughts after reading this.
    Loving urself is one helluva job! I don’t mean the “I don’t give a fuck pretentious” type of loving my self.

    Reply

  5. Dubem
    March 3, 2015

    These fears are my fears. The tears you shed, I shed almost everyday. These demons are the same ones I battle. These doubts about the future are the same ones that keep me up at night. They say HIV is not a death sentence. Yes, not physically though. But there are many other deaths HIV is capable of causing in the life of a carrier. At some point, I decided to gradually live one day at a time. If love will come, I will embrace it wholeheartedly. But I have lost my optimism for it.

    Reply

    • trystham
      March 3, 2015

      I do not like the feel of this though. It comes across as defeatist. #justsaying

      Reply

    • Gad
      March 3, 2015

      Dubem, if you notice I’m usually intolerant of people who are emotionally weak though in a way 2 spur the strength I know they have but seems unaware of. I will take a different approach with you for obvious reasons. Please don’t ever give up. You can be all you want to be. I’m not just talking about materially. None is a failure,none is poor,none is unhappy,none is loveless. We are as rich as we want to be. Poverty is only in our own terms. We can be all we want to be irrespective of the noise in the market place. Your desires may not be in sight but definitely not fore-closed. Find happiness. You can also find love. Start by loving unconditionally. I don’t mean loving a gay man.i mean loving mankind. Don’t forget, if God be 4 Chukwudubem, nothing not even HIV can work against him.

      Reply

  6. #TeamKizito
    March 3, 2015

    Musica est animo cibus est,

    I get you. Bobby.

    When you’re in some shii’ forgiving oneself can be difficult. Loving oneself, ‘ difficult, too.

    Albeit, we’ve all been through difficult phases in life (some more difficult than others). Hope and faith can be elusive at these times. Thus, I’m in some real deep shii’ right now and I could understand you. I think.

    All we can do is Spes for the best, yet, expect the worst.

    Reply

  7. A-non
    March 3, 2015

    The journey to self and self love…hmmm!

    Reply

    • JustJames
      March 3, 2015

      … Begins with a nice lubricant in hand

      Reply

      • pinkpanthertb
        March 3, 2015

        LMAO! Aswear!

        Reply

      • Bobby
        March 3, 2015

        Hahahhaha…James I can’t with u this morning!…

        Reply

      • trystham
        March 3, 2015

        loooool Ode ni e bobo yi

        Reply

    • Mitch
      March 3, 2015

      James darling, did you have an overdose of sugar this morning?

      Reply

  8. Dennis Macauley
    March 3, 2015

    The thing i have learnt about love is that it comes when you are not looking, when you least expect it. It knocks the wind out of your lungs and leaves you breathless. Chill hun, love always finds a way

    Reply

  9. enigmous
    March 3, 2015

    Nice read, again.

    Well done, Bobby.

    Reply

  10. Max
    March 3, 2015

    Self love… Easy for some, hard as hell for others.
    And for finding love, don’t lose sleep over it.
    Most of us here haven’t found it. So you’re not alone.

    Reply

    • Samurai
      March 3, 2015

      Oh Max!!
      You don’t have to be bitter 😉

      At least you have many hopefuls to choose from.

      Reply

      • Max
        March 3, 2015

        Lol @Hopefuls. Does that include you?
        Most times, crush does not translate to love.

        Reply

      • pinkpanthertb
        March 3, 2015

        But crush is a good start for love, no?

        Reply

    • Peak
      March 3, 2015

      MaxXxie king of love

      Was waiting on u to drop ur take on love.
      So so true a lot of u are yet to find love …………………….but does that include u too hon?

      Reply

      • Max
        March 3, 2015

        @ Peak, if you noticed, I used “us”.. And yes, that includes me.
        I’ve found it in the past. But currently, the wells are running dry.
        You do know there’s complete and incomplete love, right?
        Just because you love someone wholeheartedly doesn’t mean they’ll do the same.

        Reply

      • pinkpanthertb
        March 3, 2015

        Word. @ Max.

        Reply

    • Peak
      March 3, 2015

      @Max the part about incomplete made things clearer.

      @PP crush is the perfect recipe 4 incomplete love. So I wouldn’t advice anyone to build on that. If u are going to go down that road, then it would be wise to thread with caution. Still recovering from that wrong turn

      Reply

  11. s_sensei
    March 3, 2015

    Beautiful!

    Reply

  12. simba
    March 3, 2015

    Bobby dear, u will find love.. I ve dated a positive person, would even have married him.. but story for another day.. trust me. Love is a powerful tool, when it creeps in, both u and ur lover would not remember abt ur status. And yes abt self love,.. thts wht I need to learn.. any school or therapy for tht?

    Reply

    • pinkpanthertb
      March 3, 2015

      Story for another day…

      Will the story get told here? 🙂

      Reply

      • Bobby
        March 3, 2015

        Pinky keeps fishing for stories tho…

        Reply

      • pinkpanthertb
        March 3, 2015

        Bite me. 🙂

        Reply

    • Peak
      March 3, 2015

      Simba come take hug jare
      Self love can be instrumental in finding and nurturing love, cos finding someone who loves U enough for the both of you is one tough find

      Reply

    • Bobby
      March 3, 2015

      Thanks Simba…

      Reply

      • simba
        March 3, 2015

        Peak, madam pinky and Bobby.. ur welcome.. peak seems I know u lol… Madam pinky, sure someday, better face to face… Bobby dearest… trust me.. when u find the right one, he won’t notice tht… but as a Dr, I advice u keep to ur drugs, and immuno boosters.. immediately u reach tht undetectable level and maintain it.. u ll feel like a man tht just bought a mansion in Beverly hills..i ll need ur contact if cool by u.

        Reply

      • Bobby
        March 3, 2015

        U can talk to pinky…

        Reply

  13. paradox
    March 3, 2015

    U do cm 2 put a lot of my train of thot 2 writing. Ur testing ursef really sounds a joke tho. A whole test kit evn wiv dt alcohol-like soln fell out? Kinda feels 2 convenient.

    PS: Tnx 4 ur help thru PP

    Reply

  14. Mikky
    March 3, 2015

    I love this piece from Ledisi’s song. Loving yourself helps you love others.

    Reply

  15. Cj Parker
    March 3, 2015

    Short of words….just take it easy Booby I believe everything happens for good

    Reply

  16. Gad
    March 3, 2015

    Most times after reading posts here we are all quick to start giving out pieces of advice to the writer but some days back I had to ask myself “do these people really need this”?. Bobby,your outing today cleared my doubts. Mid-way through, this article, I saw a picture of someone who has come to terms with his status and circumstances that surrounds it. A picture of one who has gotten strength but is not selfish with this strength. Someone who is willing to allow others tap from the strength he inspires. May God recompense you

    Reply

    • Bobby
      March 3, 2015

      Thank you so much Gad. Thank u so so much

      Reply

      • Gad
        March 3, 2015

        You are most welcome,dear

        Reply

  17. vanjokurt
    March 3, 2015

    Hmmm bobby tanx for being an inspiration to me everytime I read yah post! Truely songs re our comfort zone.

    Reply

    • Bobby
      March 3, 2015

      Uwc vanjokurt

      Reply

  18. Chizzie
    March 3, 2015

    this was so profound. my two cents : Think good thoughts and stop worrying. most of the things we worry about hardly ever come to fruition which defeats the purpose of u worrying abt them. This is 2015, ul be fine and thats fact.

    Reply

  19. iamcoy
    March 3, 2015

    When u said u believe in monogamy, the thought of a polygamous gay setup crossed my mind. One macho top and 3 bottoms under a roof, or one power bottom and 4 tops in matrimony.. riotous setup I can imagine, fuji house will have nothing on em.
    Bobby nice write up. Keep being strong

    Reply

  20. hisroyalsexiness
    March 4, 2015

    Bobby, thanks!!! ***just give me a hug***

    Reply

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