41 responses

  1. trystham
    June 19, 2014

    After all those panic moments, swearing off sex and promising celibacy, the really annoying thing is I would still bareback AGAIN. Sometimes, I can be such an idiot.
    Felt I was back in class though. Almost drooled on my phone at some point.

    Anyway, Chizzie, you don’t have to go all ‘Mr Lecturer’ to score points. At the point where ppl don’t identify with your write-up, they lose interest…especially if they don’t have to write tests on them

    Reply

    • Chizzie
      June 19, 2014

      keep having bareback sex… go on. keep it up.

      Reply

      • trystham
        June 19, 2014

        *sarcasm noted but slips off back like water* Hmph

        Reply

  2. Marvin
    June 19, 2014

    Educative, well written and “non-rambling”. Welldone!

    Reply

  3. Regal Sweetheart
    June 19, 2014

    Thank you,Chizzie.

    Reply

  4. Iduke
    June 19, 2014

    ” Forgive me” my comment on this post is going to be a little more than critical tending to the destructive. I wasn’t impressed. I don’t care if u care bout my opinion. Imagine a lovely read turns sour at the name of the author. U sounded too preachy and ur punctuation need a revamp. BUT those things don’t matter because it is a blog. U need not be have a publishing contract to have a voice and make it heard. Chizzie if ur writing is so fabulous go write a book. And don’t bore us with ur ramblings. Remember it’s my opinion. I don’t need u to share it. It’s just meant to be!

    Reply

    • Chizzie
      June 19, 2014

      “ur punctuation need a revamp”…ok.

      Reply

    • trystham
      June 19, 2014

      Preach bruva. Say it lak it cums from da lawd

      Reply

      • Marvin
        June 19, 2014

        And I thot someone wanted to show us how well she can take criticism? Loool

        Reply

  5. Iduke
    June 19, 2014

    “So please as we shag and go from lover of lover”. Ok

    Reply

    • Marvin
      June 19, 2014

      Looool

      Reply

  6. Lanre Swagg
    June 19, 2014

    Looking beyond the content and analysing the execution helps me understand Chizzie more. All that Cowellism. Consistent.

    Reply

  7. Queer Mike.
    June 19, 2014

    You spoke well Chizzie…I love it.

    Reply

  8. Blaq Jaqs
    June 19, 2014

    Some random philosopher once said: the right to swing your arm ends where my nose begins or something of that funny nature. I remembered this because of late, some of us here (me inclusive) bicker and banter over the most mundane things all under the auspices of ‘no ramblings’ or ‘in my opinion’. I feel like the ripple effect of this could result to a decline in contributions and stories premised upon the fear of their works being torn apart. I hope we all focus more on content, sharing experiences and lessons.

    After reading this piece and learning about the death of an acquaintance earlier this week, I have a question for Chizzie. The tone of your piece gives the impression that the writer sees HIV+ like a death sentence. At least that’s what the bouts of depression and elation after the results translate to for me. If I’m correct, what are the reasons for that perception?

    Reply

    • pinkpanthertb
      June 19, 2014

      A million likes from me for this comment.

      Reply

    • pinkpanthertb
      June 19, 2014

      I absolutely love this comment. Blaq, you said what I’ve been restraining myself from saying, lest I come off as shirking my duties as a ‘moderator’. Lol
      First of all, this blog is about sharing our stories, our loves, our fears, our lives, our mistakes. Sharing and having others learn from them or enjoy them, whichever the case may be. That was the intention of this blog. But in recent times, the focus appears to be shifting to how well or badly the writer penned the piece, which isn’t all that bad. Constructive criticism isn’t a bad thing, especially in the case of writers learning to pick up a few tips of the trade to improve. But the thing is, this isn’t a literary blog, and not every contributor is a writer. And so, when all we want to do is pick apart the pieces of every publication, how does that encourage those who want to contribute more stuff for the upkeep of the blog, hmm?
      Secondly, (and this is no personal attack on you, Chizzie, in light of our recent altercation), I also couldn’t help but notice, like Blaq, that the undertone of this piece is predominantly that of a loss of all hope should the outcome of any HIV scare be positive for HIV. I get that you narrated a dreadful episode you passed through once upon a time, but this story also bears a message, one of carefulness and caution in all sexual associations. You were however focused on those who are unsuspecting of their HIV statuses and those who have become knowledgeable that they are negative, and with that effort, you shunned those who are living with the knowledge that they are positive, unintentionally (I hope) relegating them to that backend area of ‘If you have it, then your own don finish be that.’
      Isn’t your message also supposed to include encouragement to this lot? Because frankly, anyone struggling with and living with HIV, who reads this, will not feel heartened when he or she is done.

      Reply

      • Marvin
        June 19, 2014

        A billion likes for this comment by blaq. God shall pepper your stew, biko. Its one thing that’s responsible for this. BITCHINESS. And its something I just can’t stand. This was supposed to be a place where we talk to one another, learn and grow. The one place that was supposed to be like a “comfort zone” has turned into something cold and grotesque. Comments should be kind, helpful and considerate. We reap what we sow and we are all responsible for this.
        Pink_aunty, thumbs up for the maturity you have shown so far. Keep it up!

        Reply

      • Blaq Jaqs
        June 19, 2014

        Well said Panther. Well said…

        Reply

      • xpressivejboy
        June 19, 2014

        I wish there was a LIKE button here; I do love this comment.

        Thanks PinkySweet and GorgeousBlaq.

        I see a twinnie in MarvinDoll.

        Reply

    • Chizzie
      June 19, 2014

      Good question. I reacted as every other human would. No one exactly feels thrilled about the possibilities of being HIV positive; I found that initially I was so terrified and yes the thought of HIV was like a death sentence to me; but at a point I figured if I were indeed positive then all the crying, and mopping around wouldn’t change it..and id have to be a big boy and live with it. its all part of the grieving process isn’t it? First comes Denial and then Anger and finally Acceptance.

      The point I was trying to convey is; When in doubt, get a blood test.l. HIV might not kill u so fast but anxiety would.

      Reply

      • Blaq Jaqs
        June 19, 2014

        Selah. I’d be scared at first too (I want to know what is responsible for this fear for me and the several others out there) I like to believe I’m enlightened and my status shouldn’t mean living a life different from what I have now (if for anything I’d be more health conscious self) but still there’s that initial unease.
        You seem cautious and meticulous, how come you were able to sleep with the same guy within such a short period without using protection?
        P.S. I’m not playing shrink, just trying to learn as much here…

        Reply

      • Chizzie
        June 19, 2014

        how come? I think we were both so consumed with lust that the idea of using condoms was far from our minds.

        Reply

  9. KingBey
    June 19, 2014

    A nice write up. I really loved this. If only we make sure we ALWAYS use a Condom anytime we have sex…whether with a stranger or with our Lover….because HIV can also be given to you by your loved one…All in all, na one thing go still kill man…be it Boko, Accidents, Diseases in whatever name they come in….point is, be careful, be happy and enjoy life while you can.
    I must add that Chizzie really did a good job at addressing this issue of HIV here, we all tend to shy away from it while it’s something we can never avoid as long as we are MSM who are sexually active. he wasn’t judgmental or using too much grammar. i don’t think there’s any illiterate in our midst. All you need do is to look up for any word you don’t understand. There’s no need to go all offensive at one’s post here. We are supposed to be one family.

    Reply

    • Marvin
      June 19, 2014

      KingBey, understand what’s happening here. Its revenge. LOL

      Reply

    • Chizzie
      June 19, 2014

      I think in their petty attempt to get revenge at me (for God knows what), they are missing the essence of this post. I like to think that someone might read this post and be more cautious and in doing so, save lives. However I like that some can see beyond the pettiness and ask indepth and thought provoking questions. .. cc Blaq Jaqs 🙂

      Reply

      • pinkpanthertb
        June 19, 2014

        Wow. *shaking my head* Ok.

        Reply

  10. Rapu’m
    June 19, 2014

    Oh, so this is the stuff you’ve been whining about, Chizzie. (Smiles). I’m glad your whinning yielded result, because this is good. I remember once hooking up with some guy, and he was like, ‘Okay, you did your HIV test recently, huh? I did mine too recently, so let’s bareback.’ I remember that I refused. This guy then said there was no condom in the house. Imagine! After assuring me that he had them stashed. He was serious, I was horny, I almost gave up. But I persisted. I when he finally saw I was serious and would only do oral with him, he started fishing in his bag. When I confronted him about lying, he said he didn’t know he had one remaining. Suffice it to say that later that night he still fished another one for a second round. So much for only one remaining! Moral of the story? Some of these guys are just crazy like that. Be careful. Good one, Chizzie.

    Reply

  11. Too Late
    June 19, 2014

    Hi Chizzie, good write up. I don’t mean to castigate you but yr write up just brought back memories of how one careless night made me HIV+ I remember that day vividly and whom I had sex with (it happened Nov 4th 2008). It donned on me that I had made a grave mistake. And after months of grieving and fear I tested positive just a week to my birthday. Today, I have come to accept myself this way and only hope I live long to achieve all the ambitious dreams I had back in the university. I think this is a write up to create awareness and I cherish the boldness of using a personal experience. Thank you!

    (I really wish there was a cure, I still cry in my darkest hours)

    Reply

    • pinkpanthertb
      June 19, 2014

      You’re truly strong. I admire your frank acceptance of this, and your determination to not let it ruin anything for you. Someone, a friend, recently told me a slogan he usually goes by. A slogan I’ve decided to marry myself. Every Thing Good Will Come. Shed less tears. And keep being as strong as you are.

      Reply

    • Chizzie
      June 19, 2014

      wow. I’m sorry it brought back those memories. and admire ur courage. and I’m so glad u were brave enough to go get tested. I must admit it took me quite some time (and constant sermons from my bff ) to finally have the balls to go get tested. And I know this is absolutely crazy but I’ve heard stories where ppl were miraculously healed of HIV…the idea might seem silly but u have nothing to lose by having faith and praying and trusting God to heal u. Good luck!

      Reply

    • xpressivejboy
      June 19, 2014

      *Hugz*

      That’s the spirit…Mmwuah!

      Reply

  12. kingbeepinkpabtherbf
    June 19, 2014

    Wow! What an awesome piece.
    I can imagine the psychological stress that you’d gone through.
    Glad you learnt your lesson and thanks for educating us medically.

    Reply

  13. JustJames
    June 19, 2014

    I went through something almost similar last year. I’d get sick and feel my lymph nodes swell around my throat and I’d get bouts of fever or flu like symptoms. I was fucking scared

    I know people say that having HIV isn’t the end of life… but it’s very hard to see it that way. You become too painfully aware that your days are numbered.

    Well… I did a test one day. With the first ever salary I had gotten and it was the scariest moment of my life. I was out to my family and what would go through their minds when their gay son has HIV.

    Thankfully I was negative. I was so ecstatic I kept looking at the test results just to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

    Then I told my mum about it and she goes “are you are sure they did it well”

    I just mumbled something and cut the call in annoyance.

    Nice write up chizzie. A tad bit depressing and I feel sorry you might get creaky bones when you grow old. Make sure you take lots of calcium and phosphate supplements.

    Reply

    • Chizzie
      June 19, 2014

      :)…Thank u James.

      Reply

  14. trystham
    June 19, 2014

    You really have an overbloated sense of self (anyway, if you don’t, who will?) Nwam, get off your giant horse. A fall will break ur neck.

    @Blaq Jaqs when he took on that lecturer tone in the story, u cud be sure that condemnation streams in his blood. I do not imagine the “its your fault you are stupid enough to go and get HIV” my head says is his voice. Like I said in James’ journal, his life is so ordered and dull, he cannot accept deviations from his own script for others.

    Reply

    • xpressivejboy
      June 19, 2014

      I love you Dear. I Love You.

      Reply

  15. Lanre Swagg
    June 20, 2014

    To contributor called ‘TooLate’, my father swallows a cocktail of like 6 tablets every single day. They are for his heart condition, his diabetes, his hypertension and god chronic pain.

    My mother swallows 3 every day. Hypertension and arthritis.

    If you know anyone with Tuberculosis, they can have 3 to 6 tablets every day depending on their provider.

    You probably take 2 tablets daily for HIV, and if you are on the combined pill, only one. With current research you could eventually be on zero pills.

    How are you worse off than my dad, my mum, and millions of TB and cancer patients all over the world, some of whom are bedridden in addition?

    My point is that the stigma attached to HIV is heavier than the infection itself, and try as we may we can’t discourage Africans from the fear of living with HIV because Africans are more naturally prone to fear than to logic.

    2 of my closest friends died recently, one from a road accident the other from asthma. How is that less tragic than dying from HIV? Is HIV the only way to die? How many HIV infected people die nowadays? None, if on treatment. Why are HIV and death still strongly associated in people’s minds? Because of articles like Chizzies, which inadvertently promote stigma while wanting to teach about healthy choices. Why does Chizzie write that way? Because Chizzie is careful to the extreme, in a way that fully qualifies him/her to continue to be our Simon Cowell.

    Reply

    • pinkpanthertb
      June 20, 2014

      LOL.

      Ok sorry guys, I don’t know why my first instinct was laughter. In my defense, there’s a certain dark humour to this comment. There’s also a wealth of truth, however caustically imparted.
      ‘Africans are more naturally prone to fear than to logic.’ That line tho. Lanre, you sef eh. Lol

      Reply

    • Chizzie
      June 20, 2014

      *rolls eyes*

      Reply

  16. keredim69
    June 20, 2014

    Chizzie, this is a good story and quite intelligent. May i ask, is it fiction or non fiction or a hybrid of both?

    Reply

    • Chizzie
      June 20, 2014

      non fiction!

      Reply

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