CALL ON JESUS

CALL ON JESUS

NYSC hadn’t been going as planned. I’d had these wild thoughts of exploring wherever I was posted to and living large. However, my village witches intervened and I was posted to a school – which wouldn’t be bad, except it is very close to where I’ve got some family members living. So, renting an accommodation wouldn’t be a bright idea since my aunt’s house is just about a two-minute walk from the school. Then there was this annoying thing about finding ‘white men’ close to me on Grindr.

Recently though, a friend came through. He served here, so he linked me up with someone, IK, who in turn linked me up with someone else, Joseph.

Joseph is about ten years older than I am. Not that I minded; I’ve always been attracted to older men. He works in the neighbouring state, but comes over every weekend because he operates a poultry here. We met, got talking, and decided to get down on it.

We fixed the date for a Saturday night. I told my aunt I was going to stay for the weekend at a nearby corpers’ lodge.

Joseph proved to be an incredible lover. I’d met people, been with people – but none like him. His libido was really high. He just kept fucking and fucking, his release nowhere near coming. The sex with him was really good, the kind of good where I was gasping the name of the Lord while caught in the throes of pleasure. But enjoyment turned to endurance after hours at it. We stopped for a while, then slipped into slumber, only to continue the next morning, Sunday. He finally came, a rush of climax that rocked vigorously through him and drew a smile from him.

We took turns in the shower and dressed for church. We had to go to church early – I didn’t know why until we got there.

Apparently, Joseph was a Junior Pastor in the church. He told me where to sit and I was beaming with self-satisfied smiles, knowing I’d just fucked the pastor. He even led the prayers in church, and when first-timers were asked to stand up, I stood. Pastor Joe probably volunteered to be the pastor to counsel me, because after I was led to a small room where I was to be counselled, he was the one who stepped in after I was left alone.

We smiled at each other, knowing full well what sort of counselling I’d be receiving – every pun intended. No one told me to undress before I began to unclasp my belt. He made sure the doors were locked before he began to undress as well. And then we went at it. I mean, damn! Pastor Joe knew how to get a brother to sing praise and worship. With the shouts of “Amen” coming from the church downstairs, Pastor Joe was taking me to heaven for a private facetime with Jesus right there in the small counselling room.

Predictably, he didn’t release and I must confess, I was sore. But damn, I enjoyed it. As my climax exploded all over me, I said my own little prayer of getting good news from people all week. I mean, no time like when you have peaked to ask Jesus for a favour, right?

We finished the counselling session, and I had to wait for him to finish whatever meeting they were doing before he could take me home. I got home and I just knew that week was going to be a good week.

And it was!

I just kept receiving good news from people all week long. I have always heard that God answers prayers when two or three are gathered. Well, there were two of us gathered in that room above the church, and He answered my prayer very well.

Now, I’m a believer. Hallelujah!

Written by Ade

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28 Comments

  1. Ken
    July 04, 07:34 Reply

    Sorry, we are not amused! This is just sacrilegious biko

  2. Samni
    July 04, 07:55 Reply

    I was amused by this write. Very 😋 silly

  3. No
    July 04, 08:11 Reply

    I laughed way too loud at this. Pastor Joe’s calling in is Nollywood abeg..

  4. Mitch
    July 04, 08:17 Reply

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
    I don’t think I’ve laughed this loud at anything in a very long while.
    You are totally my kind of person, Ade. Well done!

  5. Josh
    July 04, 08:38 Reply

    Sex-teresting. Good counseling, hot sex

  6. Carlos
    July 04, 08:41 Reply

    Omg!!!!!!!!
    I hope to become a member. Do well to send me the church invite

    Let us all be partakers of this “first fruit”

    • Pink Panther
      July 04, 09:05 Reply

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Partakers of this first fruit.

      • Omari
        July 08, 06:29 Reply

        Hi Dear,
        Please can you give me the exact address to the queer Medical Center here in Lagos you once did mention?
        I’ll be expecting your urgent response.
        Thanks

        • Pink Panther
          July 08, 10:10 Reply

          Ireti street, off Montgomery. Opposite Lebanese school in Yaba. Once you get to Yaba bus stop, ask for directions to Ireti Street.

  7. Maycakes
    July 04, 09:35 Reply

    Hallelujah I thought I was d only one who was fucked by a pastor in his office

  8. Kayode
    July 04, 15:30 Reply

    Sex with a pastor in church.. may God have mercy on both of you.. 😂😁

  9. Share
    July 04, 16:24 Reply

    I fucked a Pastor once, this guy was so fucking good in bed. His strokes were so perfect. The best blowjob I’ve ever received

  10. Omari
    July 04, 17:12 Reply

    Issalie!!! 😳

    Well, I’ve been meaning to ask some questions, so I’ll just get on with it since one has already been answered though.

    1. Are there really queer pastors? (it’s been answered but I’ll love to know more).
    2. Are there queer pastor’s kids?.

    I’ve always wanted to get to know & meet either or both of those who fall into the aforementioned categories…

    We could get in touch…

    • Patrick
      July 05, 22:35 Reply

      I’m a queer pastor😎. Have you read my posts on KD?

      • Omari
        July 06, 23:21 Reply

        No I haven’t actually and I would love to…
        So you’re a pastor?
        Pastor’s Kids nko, where una dey?

  11. Rex
    July 05, 10:02 Reply

    Didn’t really feel the part of having sex in Church while you are just coming from and still going to the same house kwaaa….twasnt necessary mbok and quite risky.
    Omari, Pastors are human and therefore some are gay and some straight but try not to fuck a Pastor in his office it’s quite a risk. Take him somewhere and knack the anointing outta his life.

    • Omari
      July 06, 23:23 Reply

      Good lawdt!
      Which anointing go come remain to function na? 😂😂😂

  12. Bussy
    July 05, 16:58 Reply

    praise gaylord sombori 😂😂😂
    broda Ade ,indeed the lord answereth thy prayers

  13. DK
    July 05, 21:32 Reply

    My own experience was dat the Pastor wanted us to do it right on the Altar, I told him if he wanted God to strike us with Lighting, then he said ok in his office but he was kissing right in the Auditorium and he saw dat i was kind of Scared,
    He said why am i scared, dat it’s not as if God is here with us.
    We hard sex in his Office and the next week, I took my kid Sis to their Branch for movie night, he came to us and greeted us and my Sis noticed he was steering at me and she jokingly asked if I was owing him anystuff.
    My Last Sex wit him was a very unforgettable experience, cos after each round, I noticed I bleed and would go to the rest room to clean up, but once am back, his turned on and we were like dat for like an hour, only Gosh knows wat he took cos he is a Doctor.
    I couldn’t even sit up straight in his car while driving me home.

  14. Temi
    July 10, 04:49 Reply

    Fada lawd…. what a story 👌🏾🌈
    The comments here are so hilarious

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