33 responses

  1. Zemocrush
    September 3, 2017

    Sighs heavily

    Reply

    • Pink Panther
      September 3, 2017

      What is it? What weighs heavily on your mind?

      Reply

      • Zemocrush
        September 3, 2017

        Reading pieces like this just give me only one resolution, I don’t think I can ever come out to my family. …..

        Reply

      • Pink Panther
        September 3, 2017

        Really? You don’t think the chance to live your truth and have them see you for who you truly are is worth coming out to them?

        Reply

      • WhoIsUgo
        September 3, 2017

        Nah. With a religious family you’re better off lying to them and pretending because that’s what they really want. You think you’re coming out? Our parents know these things. They just ignore and hope it will go away. They tell you things like ” this is for kids, you’re grown up now. “

        Reply

      • Pink Panther
        September 3, 2017

        I dunno… Maybe it’s my mindset these days… But I don’t think I’ll go through life to the end of my days without coming out to my family. It would feel like cheating. Like I’m cheating them out of an opportunity to actually know me, the real me. I’ve come to see coming out as something I owe myself, it’s not even for the benefit of these loved ones. It’s for my own benefit. That you see ME and not the person you think I am.

        Reply

      • Omiete
        September 3, 2017

        You know not every family is accepting or calm. There is a high probability that one might get assaulted by the parents or something much worse

        Reply

      • Ojukwu Jeff
        September 4, 2017

        I think no one knows us best than our family…I don’t really concur to coming out to your family because they know what you are but they can’t just tell you just so they won’t hurt you. It cut both ways….

        Reply

  2. Rehoboth
    September 3, 2017

    The events after a coming out/outing is exhausting that I sometimes wonder if it’s worth it. In the long run though, they will make their version of peace with it.

    Reply

    • IBK
      September 3, 2017

      Is it worth it?
      Well I feel like the worst of it is over. That fear that my family will know is ninexistent. Now I know whether or not they’d kick me out. You dint know how much that fear weighs you down until it’s gone. I feel freer to live authentically. No kito person will use threatening to tell my parents to extort me. My brothers are less homophobic. Etc.
      The bad side is really just my mum being sad about it and that’s only cause I care what she thinks.
      theres also planning to ensure that your coming out doesn’t stress you as much as you being dragged out of the closet. I wish I had had time to plan things.

      Reply

  3. Tobby
    September 3, 2017

    I can imagine that it’s as difficult for her as it is for you. To be honest, I’d hope that my own mum would love me regardless (I’m sure yours does), but she probably needs time to come to terms with all that.

    It’s difficult, a part of you wants them to understand that love and acceptance should be unconditional, another part just wants to put up with their homophobia because, well, they’re still our mums

    Reply

  4. trystham
    September 3, 2017

    I just kept thinking, if the oluso had asked that ur mom make u stay, would she have been desperate to allow it? Geez!!!

    Reply

    • Pink Panther
      September 3, 2017

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I swear, the way you think eh.

      Reply

    • Zemocrush
      September 3, 2017

      You had to use the word ‘oluso’. Lol

      Reply

      • Brian Collins
        September 4, 2017

        I think they are called Shepherds.

        Reply

  5. Johnny
    September 3, 2017

    Life is hard .

    Reply

  6. WhoIsUgo
    September 3, 2017

    IBK all you need in your life is peace. If distance from your mother will give you peace, there’s nothing wrong with that.

    Reply

    • IBK
      September 3, 2017

      I’m taking that distance and you are right. It has been peaceful but I also terribly miss her because asides all of these she is a wonderful mother who I love very much. So it’s just bittersweet

      Reply

    • IBK
      September 3, 2017

      Was this before or after graduation.

      Reply

  7. Mitch
    September 3, 2017

    Mom has been taking this route in our relationship for years now. The whole hot and cold treatment could break anyone. But me, I’ve already told her to her face that I’m a gay man, bottom for that matter and that I most definitely will not be getting married to a woman.

    Her new tack is an everyday Thanksgiving prayer during our prayer time for my deliverance from homosexuality.
    And I’m like, “Dream on, lady. Dream on.”

    Reply

  8. beejay
    September 3, 2017

    Personally, I abhor the term ‘coming out’ (sounds too much like ‘seeking validation’ for comfort). Regardless, it makes one wonder if it’s worth any of the emotional torture, constant discomfort and fears of possible fallout.
    Still, it takes a mountain’s worth of courage to have been so honest, and even remain resolute despite the ensuing fiasco.

    Reply

    • IBK
      September 3, 2017

      Coming out isn’t necessarily about seeking validation. It’s about letting people she there it’s your close friends or the world know who you are. If you want to live authentically then coming out us necessary. It doesn’t even need to be with fan fare. You don’t need to dramatically sit your parents down or hold a press conference. The only reason it seems special is because lgbt are still marginalized people. And if it makes you feel differently straight people come out all the time too.

      Let’s say as a gay man you kissed your bf at your work dinner party. You’ve come out? Yes? Or you slip into your conversation with a friend who didn’t know if your sexuality that you’re having dinner with your boyfriend, you have also come out, right?

      Straight people do that all the time but no one labels it coming out. why? Cause the assumed default is that you are straight. The above things mentioned in the last paragraph isn’t seeking validation. It’s just you living your life and the people around you being aware that that’s what your life is.

      So this idea that coming out is unnecessary or seeking validation from straight people is flawed. Maybe in the distant future you can say that but right now it is not (always) the case.

      You made it to the end of this long story. Have a cookie as a reward.

      Reply

      • beejay
        September 4, 2017

        *I’ll have that cookie with milk please😀* Maybe it’s a perspective thing? I don’t see it like you do. Way I see it is, my business is mine alone + it’s called ‘personal’ business for a reason. I don’t need to be ‘understood’ or ‘accepted’, just left alone…. But then again, that’s just me.

        Reply

  9. OroboHunter
    September 3, 2017

    I hear you don’t come out once.. It’s a lifelong thing.. The more people you meet, the more you come out to them. So here’s my plan.. I become a big ass superstar and I come out on live television with millions watching… Yeah? No.

    Reply

    • IBK
      September 3, 2017

      Sounds legit. Invite me to the after party please!

      Reply

      • Jason
        September 3, 2017

        Please don’t withdraw from your Mum. It’s extremely difficult and I’m going through the same issue with mine but withdrawing from her just puts her in the pits of her emotions . It’s not exactly that easy but it’s not exactly that difficult to just go with the flow , I’ve learnt to just ignore that part of her that wants me to straight and love the othe beautiful part of her . What she’s doing is typical of a mother who ” loves ” her son in her own way so don’t withdraw man
        That would kill her even more 🙂
        Be strong , someday we shall overcome

        Reply

      • FJ
        September 5, 2017

        You spoke my mind

        Reply

  10. Foxydevil
    September 3, 2017

    This is so sad.
    To the poor woman her intention seems genuine enough, not knowing how much psychological damage she is putting you through.
    This is a rare case of being between the devil and the deep blue sea….distance yourself from the person you possibly love the most in this world or bend to her whim and live out the rest of your life as a caricature of who you are.
    Choices are hard and tedious ,but they are necessary route to which we must take. Life will give you a choice and it’s up to you to make it and when you don’t, it will pick one for you and most often than not, they are mostly unfavorable.
    Sweetie ,it is time you withdrew emotionally from your mum. Just like” cersai lannister “so wisely said “love makes us weak “the more people we love and the more vehemently we delve into that capricious emotion ,the weaker we get and weakness brings pain and hurt .
    Your mum should and will always be a part of your life…. but you are the one who has to live in your body for the rest of your days.
    Pick wisely beautiful. 😘

    Reply

  11. Michael
    September 3, 2017

    Will I ever cone out to my parents? No.
    Why? Because they probably ask me what it means to be gay.

    Reply

  12. ogb
    September 4, 2017

    I don’t think I’ll ever tell anyone from my family about my sexuality…they’ll never understand.

    Reply

  13. CHUCK
    September 5, 2017

    What happens when a Shepherd/ religion professional tells the mother to burn her son’s private part to keep him away from gay sex? A few quotes from the Old Testament and a youth will just get boiling ring in the butt or starved to coma.

    Reply

  14. Jay Carter
    September 5, 2017

    Who did you too make a convenant with?

    Reply

  15. Lorde
    September 12, 2017

    Jesus H Christ!!!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

 

 

 

Back to top
mobile desktop