Dear KD: I Want To Know What I Can Do To Help

Dear KD: I Want To Know What I Can Do To Help

One of my students was caught having sex with another student while the later was asleep.

A board of inquiry has been set up to investigate the incident and make recommendations. Ironically, I was assigned chairmanship of the board. Evidences have been provided and names of witnesses listed. The accused is seventeen years old, and the son of a special adviser to the state governor. I have started receiving friendly pressures.

One remarkable thing that most members of the board seem to agree upon is that the boy has a right to his sexuality. Surprised? I was too.

Now, I want to look for possible escape routes for that boy, but there are obstacles:

  1. My integrity. I might be accused of collecting bribe from his wealthy family to free him.
  2. The school’s manual clearly forbids sexual relationships between students in or outside the school premises. It stipulates expulsion as punishment. Note that this institution is military.
  3. Another student’s education was terminated some months ago on the accusation of attempted sodomy. He was reported by this same boy – the one on trial now. A case of a gay guy outing another gay guy. Does he deserve mercy?

I will like to know what to do to affect this situation.

Submitted by Gad

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63 Comments

  1. Heiress
    February 19, 04:08 Reply

    Wow!! Well I don’t know how flexible this Uni might be but I would say follow the school rules as your guideline as much as you can. This after all is someone’s life. Karma though is a bitch for the snitch to be snitched on just saying!!

  2. Pete
    February 19, 05:14 Reply

    Tight corner. Follow the rules & see if they could tamper justice with mercy

    • Heiress
      February 19, 11:50 Reply

      Yes I am on a roll right? Haha

  3. Homely
    February 19, 05:20 Reply

    Biko, follow the School’s manual…
    However, since other members support the Right to Sexuality, please discuss on extending your report to recommendation for review of consensual relationships.

    • Gad
      February 19, 07:43 Reply

      The oldest student here is less than 20 years old. I think platonic friendship among students is the only thing to be encouraged at this stage

  4. Colossus
    February 19, 05:20 Reply

    If the boy has a right to his sexuality then why was another student expelled before? What does the rule book say? If the evidence against him is overwhelming then I’m afraid you have to let him go? There is no preferential treatment here, his hand was caught in the cookie jar.
    I went to a military school, I know how stringent the rules can be and it might be time a board is set up to review those rules.

    • Gad
      February 19, 07:46 Reply

      The school,s rules as I said in the post forbids sexual relationships between students WITHIN AND OUTSIDE the school

  5. kendigin
    February 19, 05:43 Reply

    Follow the rules and be fair. U dnt get preferential treatment jst cos ur gay. And in this case its not his sexuality thats in question, its unlawful sexual escapades

  6. Stickysly
    February 19, 06:14 Reply

    Point 3 happened some months back because the school manual has point 2 clearly spelt out.

    Way I see it, there may b no loophole to exploit here.
    If witnesses firmly testify that the deed occurred; guy should b dealt with according to the prescribed school manual.

    What is very important here is that there is a precedence that people will readily point to.

    Don’t burn your hands on anybody’s account.

    This is why occupants living in glass houses are always adviced to desist from throwing stones anyhow.

    If he did not out someone a while back; you may hv been dealing with a novel case and could have applied d perogative of mercy.

    Wat is worse is dat d hunter is now the hunted.

    Sauce for the goose…..

  7. Mercury
    February 19, 06:18 Reply

    Oh well, well, well…..this is so Emmanuel all over again, snitching only to caught later. Dear Gad follow the rules…..you wanna break the rules, try not to get caught….the single and most important rule of rule breaking. In this case I support the law biko.

  8. Lothario
    February 19, 06:22 Reply

    Don’t stick out your neck if the rules are stated clearly, wouldn’t look good on your record and could harm your reputation.

  9. Lord II
    February 19, 06:35 Reply

    …..wait he outed someone else and now someone’s outed him?

    Smh!

  10. obatala
    February 19, 06:38 Reply

    my dear gad. this is Nigeria after all said and done. though people might not like it, but u have a career to consider too. Im all for due process and all, but ehm, the whole situation is skewed away from the side of justice. I would advice that u let him off lightly with some form of punishment.
    look on the bright side though, henceforth, other such cases will have a precedent to be let off equally lightly. just make sure its all nicely documented prim and proper.

    • Samurai
      February 19, 06:47 Reply

      Do tell, how is it skewed away from the side of justice?

  11. Samurai
    February 19, 06:45 Reply

    that’s nice.
    what was it I said about Queen Karma once before.
    I love her for exacting vengeance when it is most hurtful and when it is most needed.

    The student in question caused someone to be expelled on counts of attempted sodomy. And now he will be expelled on account of actualized sodomy.

    Biko, Gad, just follow the School’s rule book.
    your integrity is at stake here.
    and moreover, it can be very disastrous to get in Karma’s way.
    If she has decreed that the boy will be expelled, and you try to prevent it, she will find other means and you may be negatively affected.

  12. Max
    February 19, 06:46 Reply

    Oh you’re a teacher. I should’ve known.
    How can someone have sex with someone while they’re sleeping!!?? Ya’ll know that’s a lie. Unless he drugged him of course. So besides that, the Lil snitch deserves to be thrown under the bus. I hold no love for snitches.

    • pinkpanthertb
      February 19, 06:54 Reply

      I’d hate to think what the fate of the student would be if you were the one in the panel and had knowledge of his ‘snitchery’

      • Max
        February 19, 07:02 Reply

        Hahahahaha. You already know. That Lil bitch would’ve been on a train to ogbomosho by now..

    • Tony Odekunle-Brown
      February 19, 07:20 Reply

      I went to a boarding school and many seniors slept with juniors in their sleep. The juniors will probably wake up when the dick is in their asshole and all…

      It happened to me in secondary school

      Its very possible.

      • Max
        February 19, 07:54 Reply

        Omg. Care to explain how you didn’t feel the pain? Do ppl sleep that much?

        • pinkpanthertb
          February 19, 08:03 Reply

          People sha. Lol. For all my gay open-eye in school, i neither knew about nor had penetrative sex. And then i graduated into university and started reminiscing with some old secondary school friends to be informed, much to my shock, that these peeps were dicking it around back then. They had done things with the dick and ass that i was only then getting to do. Lol

        • Tony Odekunle-Brown
          February 21, 14:27 Reply

          You will feel the pain but at that point there you will be practically powerless to do anything about it

      • trystham
        February 19, 09:48 Reply

        Max, there is a mantra for gay sex “Relax for a painless entry”. How much more relaxed can u get than when u r asleep??? It is very possible

      • Ace
        February 19, 12:42 Reply

        Same with me pinky. I really had no idea about penetrative sex till I entered uni. The shock to discover some people don dey knack am tey tey … Na wa

  13. Dennis Macaulay
    February 19, 07:03 Reply

    Gad are you a lecturer at a private university?

    #AskingForMyPeaceOfMind

    And as for the issue at hand, I am speaking as Dennis! And as Dennis Macaulay that I am I will find a way to kill the case and ensure it dies a natural death.

    I get so defensive when gay people are in sexually instigated trouble and I have a feeling that if it were a boy and a girl the matter may not be that pronounced. I may be wrong though. Me I will kill the case no matter what it costs me.

    This is my opinion

    • pinkpanthertb
      February 19, 07:14 Reply

      You put ‘this is my opinion’ like its a prenuptial agreement you want all of KD to sign to protect you from any adversity. Lol

      • Dennis Macaulay
        February 19, 07:27 Reply

        Lol!
        I just want it set in stone that I am speaking for myself alone, before some people come after me.

        • pinkpanthertb
          February 19, 07:28 Reply

          Yes, becos personal opinions don’t incur the wrath of dissenters…

  14. Khaleesi
    February 19, 07:27 Reply

    And just how is it possible to have sex with another person in his sleep if he isnt drugged? Sexual arousal is such a powerful emotion, i don’t think anyone can sleep through sexual intercourse …
    On account of this same boy, another student was expelled. I believe he outed the other student out of a deep sense of guilt and self. Loathing. I’d like to say he deserves no mercy and should be shoved firmly under the bus, but then i remember he’s just 17. Am sure most of us can remember the confusion and whirlwind of emotions that come with being in your teens and realising that you’re different – that you’re attracted to men. In the face of all this, i would say on account of his extreme youth, please help cut him some slack as much as you safely can but then he got another student expelled, he knew how harsh the penalty would be and yet he was willing to out another student … for this act alone, be deserves no mercy! Therefore i order that you throw the entire rule book @ him without a single jolt of mercy, he’s not too young learn about karma as well as the need to do unto others as you would have be done to you …. this is my verdict!!
    ****slams gavel, flips golden wig, gathers silk gown carefully about me and walks out carefully ensuring that brand new Louboutin heels are on full display ….

  15. Dennis Macaulay
    February 19, 07:35 Reply

    Gad no vex I did not read the story well.
    He got someone expelled? Eziokwu?

    Slam the entire rule book in his face!
    Every body knows how I feel about karma!

  16. Williams
    February 19, 08:09 Reply

    Open the rule books and do as stated! #empathizedontsympathize

    Encourage the child’s parents to make him available for necessary counselling,he will learn and be grateful in the future.

  17. Cj Parker
    February 19, 08:09 Reply

    I’ll say it’s karma,just do the right thing

  18. Mitch
    February 19, 08:21 Reply

    Karma is a queen! Lovely what she’s done.

    Gad, stay outta her way. He deserves what he’s getting

  19. Lanre S
    February 19, 08:38 Reply

    I wanted to say temper the rules and rusticate briefly but seeing as Karma is operative here, dude needs to go. The one who was expelled because of his internal homophobia apparently has powerful babalawos in the village …

    • Gad
      February 19, 10:37 Reply

      Lol. You think the art of those comedians works?

  20. Chizzie
    February 19, 08:43 Reply

    after reading d last point..all sympathy I had flew out the window. its only fair to have him suspended or expelled; sex in most institutions regardless of whether its btwn the same sex or not is prohibited and there are consequences for those who break the rules. So the just thing here would be to have him face the consequences.. And remember, you are a Christian, so ask you self…would Jesus condone such behavior?

    • Gad
      February 19, 10:39 Reply

      The Jesus I know will never send that child away.

      • Lord II
        February 19, 17:39 Reply

        Yes Gad the Jesus we know WILL forgive so all you that are saying stone him stone him…hmmm side eye ooo @U ooo!

        And for you guys that still think it’s not possible to have sex in ur sleep??? I wonder if you guys had the same upbringing I had?? SMH @U coz OFCOURSE It’s possible and has been achieved ON me and BY me! #amoutahere!

        • Gad
          February 19, 18:32 Reply

          Lord! You no dey carry last. I hail

      • Max
        February 20, 02:22 Reply

        You had sex with yourself while sleeping?? Self rape?

      • Lord II
        February 21, 05:08 Reply

        No Max dear…here drink some water ok…there!

        Now what I meant was that I have had it done to me by OTHERS and done it to OTHERS too!

  21. trystham
    February 19, 09:33 Reply

    He snitched on sum1 b4 him? Expel the arsewipe. I don’t envy u…friendly pressure? Ti e ba e

  22. Ace
    February 19, 12:55 Reply

    Oga snitched and got someone expelled? The question I would be asking is “what bus do you wanna be thrown under? Is it Ekene, ABC or Chisco?”

  23. keredim69
    February 20, 00:30 Reply

    Hey Gad, you are right the Jesus I know as well would forgive the accused. It looks to me like the accused has been set up by friends of the guy that was expelled earlier.

    This is my suggestion. Think – “WWOPD?” – “What Would Olivia Pope Do?” The accused family can afford to buy off the witnesses or find something on them that would make them recant their story or not even turn up for the hearing.

    That should get rid of most of the witnesses. For the rest, the accused family can afford an Annalise Keating-esque representative to speak on behalf of the accused during the hearing. S/he would discredit the witnesses and shame them.

    You will rule in favour of the accused because of the lack of evidence or the poor quality of the evidence.

    • Gad
      February 20, 01:09 Reply

      Set up is not a likely consideration in this case. He was caught in the act. His sperm was splashed on his victim,s laps and examination by the medical unit confirmed two things. 1. He used his victim,s laps because there was no evidence of penetration. 2. Though he didn’t deny the act when his penis was examined it still has splashes of cum on it.

    • pinkpanthertb
      February 20, 02:06 Reply

      Lol. Someone’s watching and loving the Black women of TV

  24. Gad
    February 20, 01:48 Reply

    I must register my appreciation to all who aired there opinions/advise on this unfortunate incident. I was initially @ a loss on how to go about this but you guys came to my rescue. Despite the boy,s wickedness, I still feel obliged to help him out of this but as most of us rightly observed,he is in a tight with no escape route. We will have to find him guilty of breaking the school,s rules by 1. not observing lights out 2. Sharing a bed with another student 3. Sexual involvement with a fellow student. We will recommend expulsion and still suggest he be allowed to come and sit for his final exams when it’s time. With this he can still pursue his life goal,s except a career in the Nigerian armed forces. I must add here that one remarkable thing I noticed so far in this case was that many are now aware of gays and some of the code terms they use especially terms like tb,top,bottom and role. Some are tolerant while many still remain unrepentant homophobes.

    • keredim69
      February 20, 07:44 Reply

      Fair enough. The other thing I forgot to mention. Your 2nd point on no sexual activity between students even OUTSIDE the campus. Isn’t that a bit extreme?!? Does that apply even during the holidays?

      • Gad
        February 20, 09:33 Reply

        Hahaha. Weird? It applies till you graduate. If a report gets to the school and it’s proven, punishments can be applied. Personally, I think that aspect of the school,s handbook is dormant because such incidents rarely occur.

      • Lord II
        February 21, 05:14 Reply

        ‘rarely occurs’ isn’t the term boo…it occurs but ‘never gets reported’

        • Gad
          February 21, 17:30 Reply

          I’m happy that the intended message was passed across

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