Dear KD: What Do I Do About My Boyfriend’s Cheating Girlfriend?

Dear KD: What Do I Do About My Boyfriend’s Cheating Girlfriend?

I have been dating my younger brother’s friend, who is bisexual, for about 5 months now.

Before we started dating, he told me about his girlfriend, saying that they’d been together for three years without sex. I was okay with this other relationship at first, seeing as he spent more time with me than with her. And we did more things together than he did with her. Even when he traveled to Bayelsa for his Post UTME, I was the one who accompanied him and we had a great time.

However, these past few weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster for me, with the events making me question this commitment. His girlfriend is a cheat. She will do him dirty, and then come crying to him after she’s been found out. And our husband will take her back. I am older than him by a couple of years, and I try to let him know that he is being taken for a fool. But he doesn’t seem to see it that way. It’s especially frustrating because I have fallen in love with him, and his reluctance to deal with his girlfriend’s constant cheating is starting to grate on me. He thinks I want him to break up with her so I can have him all to myself, but I just want a man who can see beyond the bullshit, because I have been in that place before with guys and I know how it feels to be someone’s fool.

And I feel somewhat responsible for this enabling. The first time I learned of her cheating was when she shagged one of his friends, and he actually wanted to end things then with her. But I pleaded with him to forgive her and give her a second chance. And since then, she has been doing it with the frequency of someone breathing air. And his decisiveness then seems to have been replaced with this reluctance to do anything about her.

I don’t know if I should stay out of this affair and watch him keep getting burned. I don’t know if he is simply addicted to a certain kind of sadness. I’ve dated two bisexuals before him, and both relationships were really great, devoid of this kind of circle and drama. I don’t really know what to do. I love him, no doubt about that, and he’s always been there for me one way or the other. But this complacency in the face of a relationship he shouldn’t be in is honestly getting to me. They shouldn’t be together, and he doesn’t seem to realise that.

What should I do?

Submitted by Andra

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31 Comments

  1. DeadlyDarius
    December 05, 06:52 Reply

    Help me understand here…

    You are tired of this lady because she cheats. This GIRLFRIEND of your BOYFRIEND. Your boo is doing what exactly? He’s not sleeping with her (so he tells you) and does that with you while I assume she is unaware of both his sexuality and that you are a romantic interest.

    And she’s the ‘villain’ in this? What outfit do you prefer as Doo-Doo the Clown….avocado purple or LASEMA street cleaner bright orange.

    • ken
      December 05, 07:13 Reply

      Bwahahahaha

      I couldn’t agree more

      What he needs to do is get out of that love triangle or get used to it

    • Higwe
      December 05, 07:56 Reply

      🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

      Hahahaha hahahaha …

      My brother , the story weak me .

    • Malik
      December 05, 09:13 Reply

      My waist. 🤣🤣🤣 LASEMA bright orange pls.

    • Gaia
      December 07, 11:17 Reply

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Somebody cannot come here to seek undue consolation abi?

  2. Black Dynasty
    December 05, 06:58 Reply

    Hmm it’s interesting that you have an issue with her cheating on him, when he’s cheating on her with you….

    I imagine the man is grown enough to make his own decisions, you can lead a horse to water…. etc etc

  3. IBK
    December 05, 07:06 Reply

    Okoto meow meow skkkrrrrrr

    This reads like one of those joró stories.

    • Mandy
      December 05, 07:20 Reply

      Aswear. I’m trying to imagine the straight face that PP had on as he posted this.

      Then I saw the title, and I saw what he did there. 😂

  4. Mandy
    December 05, 07:18 Reply

    Lol. How you gon have a problem with the girl doing your man dirty when he’s already doing the same dirty to her with you?

    Or are you one of those who think that it’s not cheating as long as the bisexual is shagging different sexes at the same time?

    Maybe your man has recognised that he’s doing to his girl what she’s doing to him, and has enough guilty conscience to not end the relationship based on the narrative that the girl is the villain.

    How about you leave him and her to sort that out and simply focus on your thing with him? His relationship with her doesn’t have to be your business.

    • Higwe
      December 05, 07:57 Reply

      Wanted to send a search party out for you though .

      Hope you’re good though? …I’m thinking positively that your schedule just got a lot cutthroat 😎

      • Mandy
        December 05, 08:56 Reply

        I am good. Yeah, things just got a lot more hectic around here. Can’t believe I missed the whole “former kito scum looking for forgiveness” drama. Returned to KD to see the entire community venting in the comments section, and I wanted to cry to my chi for denying me that.

        Anyway, it’s sweet of you to care. Thank you.

        • Higwe
          December 05, 14:18 Reply

          I pay attention to everyone and everything, though I might come across like I don’t .😎

          I’m very detailed and I keep tabs too .

          Just looking out for a brother …yey .

          Being busy is always a good thing , it means you’re getting somewhere in life.

          So goodluck and stay safe .

          Peace . ✌️

  5. Ken
    December 05, 07:44 Reply

    Chai these are totally not the responses the op was expecting lol.

    But to be honest, I understand where Andra is coming from. In a perfect world perhaps the bf would have chosen u over her cheating ass. But we are not in that world. Methinks the bf is retaining her cheating ass for several reasons ranging from refusal to accept his true identity, using her as cover up to keeping the cheating gf as fall back plan for when it’s time to succumb to pressure for marriage. People don’t make decisions that are not in their own interest, but also love triangles often end in dissaster

  6. duc
    December 05, 07:45 Reply

    Make it make sense.

    • Phyneassphuck
      December 05, 12:59 Reply

      Not sure what to say to this but I’m just wondering, where are you people seeing all these boyfriends from?

  7. trystham
    December 05, 10:16 Reply

    I totally forgot what I wanted to type in the wake of responses

    This is my reply. Total denial. Looker for beard

  8. Mitch
    December 05, 13:16 Reply

    You’re older.
    Yet you’re sillier.
    Okurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
    Next!

    • Martdmaen
      December 05, 20:51 Reply

      My goodness

      Mitch,you’re a mean bitch.

      Lwkmd

    • Gaia
      December 07, 11:21 Reply

      Chai. Babe take it easy na….OMG!

  9. Andy
    December 05, 18:05 Reply

    LMAO wtf did I just read?,Andra you are not just a clown but the entire circus…

    • Uzor
      December 05, 21:50 Reply

      😂😂😂😂😂😂 I can’t any longer! This comment!!

  10. Black Coffee
    December 05, 18:22 Reply

    OK Andra, were you expecting us to tell you to sit him down and talk to him about his cheating girlfriend?

    Hell no!

    What were you expecting when you walked into such love triangle? Obviously it’s an open relationship. Darling get into the programme.

    Btw, PP I sent something to your email, please check.

  11. Tman
    December 05, 19:32 Reply

    Wahala for bisexual wey no get knacker boyfriend and cheater girlfriend o.

    Andra, I got my plate full from the point where you were obviously elated your boo considered you as his trip partner for a PUME exam over your competition of a girlfriend. Really?

    What’s that statement about a clown in a circus again..? You obviously are the lead clown.

  12. Mike
    December 05, 20:26 Reply

    Tell him to be a man and go and fuck his girlfriend.
    Tell him to stop stringing her along and making her his comfort zone, because that’s exactly what he’s doing, he doesn’t want to loss her so he doesn’t lose his s sexual identify completely, so he’d he’s keeping her around, stringing her along but can not do what is required of him.

    The solution to his predicament is very simple, if he’s not attracted to her break up with he, if he is fuck her so she’ll stop seeking it outside.

    You are enabling him not in the way you think cause you’re concentrating on the smoke not the fire, cause it’s comfortable for you.

    Can we talk about the poor girl being deceived by two men here.

  13. Deviant
    December 06, 07:11 Reply

    Let me by dragging you into the girlfriend’s oversized shoes. Imagine dating someone for a year without sex. I will call that an irrational impossibility because that marks the beginning of your boyfriend’s infidelity. There is nothing wrong in being a bi but you should be able to treat and place the two distinct personalities on the same scale and don’t allow one to weigh more than the other. I suggest you bounce but if you can’t owing to the fact that you love him, just stay put and pretend as if he doesn’t have a female friend.

  14. Ethereal
    December 06, 10:12 Reply

    Well if you need my candid advice dear, like the saying goes, “if the kitchen is way to hot for you, you use the exit dear” so saying, if you can’t handle it, bow out while the ovation is loudest, cos trust me, when the curtain falls, it may be a different story all together…

  15. Dunder
    December 06, 12:54 Reply

    Dear Poster, have you considered the possibility that your boyfriend is not as bi as he claims to be? He seems to be quite comfortable having a “cheating” girlfriend but for three years, has been unable to give her a reason not to “cheat”- not even a poor excuse. Even when she does it close to home, he seems unbothered about the disrespect but tells you about it so you can beg him to forgive her- unwilling to chat up another girl and replace her. If you step out on him, would he be that forgiving? You haven’t claimed he is seeing some other girl and he spends all his time with you. I honestly think the poor girl is being strung along to project a certain image and you may not have noticed because you have in your head assumed that you are in competition with her for your man’s attention. The guy has you where he wants you and the girl is a victim in this story. Try not to be the other one.

  16. ChubbyLover
    December 07, 06:17 Reply

    Had this this with a lady back in the days. Sista said no sex but enjoys me fingering and sucking Bobby.
    #LesbianSheIs

  17. Peace
    December 08, 22:03 Reply

    Jesus!!!! You guys!!! It was a fucking question “what do I do”. I believe we all can proffer solution without having to drag him. Haba!!!!! If one cannot come here and be vulnerable without everyone claiming “woke” I wonder where!!!! Please mis me with the bullshit!!!

    No one is going be handed the saltiest bitch of the year award. Please and please, if you can’t help without calling names, keep your damn opinion to yourself!!! I couldn’t even go past the fifth comment. Nawa ooooo.

    Kind words hurt nobody. You won’t drop dead, if you just simply told him what you thought in the nicest way possible.

    I’m done with y’all

    Fuck!

  18. Rexy
    December 09, 14:32 Reply

    I couldn’t read past the title, you have the temerity to complain about?

    Aren’t you a side chick too, she was there before you oga if you aren’t ready to enjoy this four way then dont disturb us biko,kezii Ihe owu?

    Walk out or stay.

    Hoes judging hoes

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