Dear KD: What Do I Do With What My Boyfriend Just Told Me About Our Relationship?

Dear KD: What Do I Do With What My Boyfriend Just Told Me About Our Relationship?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and half. We’ve never had sex. Not once.

At first, we were just taking our time, to be sure it wasn’t purely sexual between us.

Or so I thought.

After the first three months, my boyfriend moved to another town and so our relationship has been long distance since then. And there’s been little or no time to visit. The last time we met was like five months ago.

With exams over, I had to visit. Since I got here, I’ve noticed he’s been acting weird but because he’s been complaining about being tired, I thought that was just it.

That is, until last night – when he told me he’d realized he’s not sexually attracted to me. And that he’s known it for a while.

I love him so much and I know he loves me but I’m wondering, what options do we have left, asides a break up?

Submitted by Mebi

Previous Pulse Nightclub Survivor who claims he’s no longer gay says he went through Holy Spirit Therapy Not Gay Conversion
Next LETTER TO MY HOMOPHOBIC EX-FRIEND

About author

You might also like

Dear KD 25 Comments

Dear KD: How Do I Get Rid Of My Homosexual Sex Drive?

EDITOR’S WORD: When I received this Dear KD request for help, I struggled with my resistance to post it, because to be featured on Kito Diaries, we regard self acceptance

Dear KD 5 Comments

The Proposal: I Am A US-Based Gay Man Looking For A Woman Interested In An Arranged Marriage

I am David, a 29-year-old gay Nigerian based in North America. I am currently looking for a lesbian, bisexual or (perhaps) straight woman willing to enter into a marriage of

Dear KD 9 Comments

The Proposal: Two Gays And A Lesbian Want To Connect With Marriage Partners

1. I am Ethan, a pansexual British-Nigerian man in my late twenties, who’s ready to settle down with that special person and build a family together. Currently resident and working

25 Comments

  1. Johnny
    May 14, 07:05 Reply

    Bye boy…sorry , I ain’t sorry.

  2. Queen Blue Fox
    May 14, 08:05 Reply

    Which one is he loves you but is not sexually attracted to you? Is this an agape love relationship? Biko boy bye!

    • Hp
      May 16, 03:03 Reply

      Agape love relationship. I’m dying ???

  3. Francis
    May 14, 08:24 Reply

    You can’t force sexual attraction. Just move on man. Sorry ?

  4. Santa Diaba
    May 14, 08:41 Reply

    This is a new one sha. Why are men like this??? ???

  5. Thor
    May 14, 09:07 Reply

    Hmmm. This is something new. You’ve actually been bro zoned

  6. Chocolate
    May 14, 09:12 Reply

    Wait!
    Are you kidney me!?
    ???
    Someone just told you he’s not attracted to you and still call him boyfriend and looking for other options apart from break up!
    There was never a relationship if you ask me.
    Sigh
    If there was attraction and no sex it’s something you both can work on!
    But with this please move on.

  7. Canis VY Majoris
    May 14, 10:06 Reply

    No sex relationships are so weird to me.

    You could’ve saved yourselves the trouble if you had sex a year and half ago. Just saying…

    Sidenote: I’m a strong advocate of let’s have sex first to get all hormonal imbalances off the table, then we can make sensible decisions on whether we wanna remain in our lives or not.

  8. Bigfoot
    May 14, 14:43 Reply

    Where did we all get off thinking sex was the defining factor in the workings of a relationship? Sure it’s important but come on arent there other factors to be considered?

    Call me a green eyed virgin but I still think it’s possible to be with someone for an extended period and not do sex. If he doesnt mind, y’all can work something out. If you want to screw him but he wants to screw other people, consider an open relationship.

    Or y’all can just be friends since there isnt that much at stake.

    Mebi, here’s a few things you might co

  9. Omiete
    May 14, 17:28 Reply

    Boy Bye!!!! That’s what you should say to the negro. For me it’s just not that he’s not attracted to you it’s that he doesn’t even value your friendship and for me that is worse.

  10. Bee
    May 14, 17:31 Reply

    I’ve been bro-zoned by my best friend, someone who cried over phone with me. Some rships aren’t to be. Don’t force them.

  11. Delle
    May 15, 11:50 Reply

    Have you broken up with him already? You’ll find someone who doesn’t only want you for the title of boyfriend but because he is attracted to you.

    What kind of rubbish is that? You claim we are in a relationship but you’re not attracted to me. What am I? A logo? Tcheww!

  12. KingBey
    May 16, 10:11 Reply

    Let things take its natural course. You can remain friends with him but don’t cajole him for sex. If it eventually happens, fine. If not, make do with the friendship. It is not all about sex. Funny enough, the guys I have had long and meaningful friendships with are those I haven’t had sex with.

  13. iAmNotAPerv
    May 16, 10:34 Reply

    The fact that none of you even considered the fact that the boyfriend might be asexual… It’s still LGBTQIA

    Mebi, ask him if he thinks he is asexual then decide if you want to stay or go.

Leave a Reply

Click here to cancel reply.