I don't know what he wants from me. I met him at the market where I saw and liked his brother. But eventually, it was the both of us that got talking. I saw him again around my church (they live in the very next block) and we exchanged numbers, and he smiled when I said I'd text, and replied, "Yes, boss."
He is not hot-hot or cute. He is good-looking in a way that does not draw attention to itself. An ordinary-looking person with an air about him, of a certain suave masculinity, that pulled me.
He got to calling me every evening, so that we hanged out at his place, a one-room apartment that he shares with his elder brother and cousin. He found out I was older than him by a year or two. We talked about his JAMB and the schools he was applying to and my life. But there was often a lull in our conversations, a chasm between the things I knew and the places I'd been compared to his, and so there were long moments of silence. But it was silence without awkwardness.
On his birthday, he took a day off from the family business and invited me over, to their other house. He introduced me to his sister-in-law who soon went to the market. We were finally alone. There was power and the air was crisp with waiting. He lay on the floor. I sat on the chair.
What were we talking about that led to us mentioning penis? He was going to illustrate something, and he pulled out his dick, shiny black, nothing extraordinary, but not ordinary either. He left it dangling there. He did it again, to illustrate.
I thought of sliding onto the floor beside him and swallowing him whole. But it was barely a month after my kito experience, and I still had a bit of trauma.
I let it slide.
Months rolled past. Every evening, or every other evening, he calls. I know his mum, sisters, cousins, brothers. He introduces me to them as his friend, and he does it with pride, like he wants them to know I'm a part of him and he of me. Like he's showing off his hot successful boyfriend. But I know his girlfriends. I've talked to both the one in Benue and the one in Kano.
I hate this sort of situation. Most times I forget him, because, really, we are too different to be friends. If we're not fucking, we share no interests. But I enjoy his silences, maybe that's why I haven't started feeling put-off as I normally would, even after all these months. Why I go to see him when he calls.
But then, what does he want? He does not seem curious about my body but seems very interested in spending time with me and making me a part of his life: His family, his relationships. Stuff like this push me away, so why am I still here?
Submitted by Rapum