Dear Straight People,
We, the Gays, know that it is almost beyond the scope of your imagination and brain power to fathom that a same-gender loving person would not automatically be attracted to you and want to sex you down on sight but…
You know how you're not attracted to every person you meet of the opposite sex? The same goes for us. You know how every person of the opposite sex isn't attracted to you. The same also goes for us.
Are you still with me? Great.
Here are some ways a person of the same sex may interact with you and not want to fuck you:
Asking for directions
Brushing past you in a crowded area
Looking in your general direction and even making eye contact
Sitting next to you
Sitting across from you
Walking into a room you're already in
Are you still there? Great.
If members of the opposite sex don't want you, chances are I’m not gonna either!
In other words, we're gay, not blind, and certainly not desperate.
So, if you're walking around looking and acting a hot mess, with bad hygiene, and don't have any ambition, or any redeeming qualities, nobody is checking for you, bro/sis. So stop. When you say “I cover my nyash with the Blood of Jesus”, just know that neither the Blood of Jesus nor any part of our bodies is interested in your ass. So again, stop!
We're no more superficial than anyone else but it's always the rejects that think you want them the most. No. No. Nah!
No, I don't wanna turn you.
No, I'm not going to waste my good alcohol and weed to see if you're curious.
And no, I'm not going to judge you if you listen to Beyoncé or Rihanna or enjoy Mary J Blige's heartbreak albums because I do too.
You don't have to preface your interactions with me with "Oh I don't go that way" because I'm not coming down your street or turning on your block. If you are U-G-L-Y and you don't have an alibi, you don't have to worry about us.
Yeah, we look and talk about you to our friends but that still doesn't mean we want you. Maybe we're bored. Maybe we like the outfit you have on. That doesn’t mean we like the person that’s wearing it.
Even if you are cute, you may not be my type, so you still don't have to worry about me.
We can hang out, be friends, but that’s as far as it’s going to go.
Spend the time you think we're thinking about you on something else, anything else.
We good? Cool.
Love, (No Homo)
– The Gays