DISCLAIMER: The following article contains spoilers from TV Shows of the past week. So if you haven’t SEEN the episodes of the week, and you detest spoilers, then I suggest you leave while you can. If you haven’t and you don’t mind spoilers, feel free to enjoy. If you have seen the episodes, then by all means read on and lets ki-ki.

REVIEW OF THE WEEK: Game Of Thrones – S06E03 (Oathbreaker)

Welcome to my weekly recap of Game Of Thrones, the greatest show that ever was and ever will be. If you don’t agree, please argue with someone else 🙂

The episode pretty much picks up where the previous one left off. Jon Snow wakes and Ser Davos, now back in the room, looks utterly shocked; dude even had tears in his eyes. Jon meanwhile is mostly confused as to why and how he is back among the living. Ser Davos asks him what he remembers and he apparently remembers all the cunt faces that stabbed him. Mellisandre, who doesn’t look as dejected as she did last week and who now looks like someone who has new found faith in her god, asks Jon what he saw when he died. And in typical Jon Snow fashion, he saw nothing. Sigh. This dude really does know nothing.

They go outside and everyone is out there waiting for their mint resurrected Lord Commander. It’s nice and whatever. And so, naturally the next scene is of a ship caught in a storm. And who is aboard? Sam, Gilly and the wee baby. Sam is sea sick, because of course he is. He and Gilly talk about going to Old Town (the citadel where Sam aims to train to become a maester), and Sam tells Gilly that women aren’t allowed there. He plans to drop her off at his home in Horn Hill, with his family.

Next, we cut to men on horseback, riding toward a tower. It turns out to be Bran and the Three Eyed Raven watching another (flashback) vision. This particular flashback is one of the most talked about in the books, mostly because its widely believed to be the most legitimate scene that supports the R+L=J theory.

Anyhow the scene is the Tower of Joy; the mad king Aegon Targaryen has fallen, but members of his Night’s Guard led by Ser Arthur Dayne (who Ned Stark believed to be the best swordsman he ever saw) remain loyal to their assignment, which is to guard the Tower. Ned Stark, Holland Reed (Meera and Jojen’s father) and some other Northerners want entry into the Tower. Notice Ned asks for the whereabouts of his sister Lyanna, and Ser Arthur neither confirms nor denies her presence in the tower?

They proceed to battle and Ser Arthur really shows himself to be formidable by taking out all of them virtually all on his own. And then, it’s down to him and Ned. Both men go at it, a sword fight that Bran finds himself admitting that Ser Arthur was the better of the two. Just as Ser Arthur is about the finish Ned off, Holland Reed stabs Ser Arthur IN THE BACK! And we all know how stabbing someone in the back is a big deal; I mean, that’s one of the reasons why the entire realm hates Jaime Lannister – the fact that he stabbed the Mad King in the back. I’m pretty sure if he had stabbed him in his heart, the hatred wouldn’t be as much.

Suddenly, we hear someone scream. Could it be Lyanna or Lyanna and a certain Lord Commander? Alas we’ll have to wait and find out, because just as Ned is about to go up the tower, Oga Three Eyed Raven decides to be a buzz-kill and stop the feem.

Meanwhile, Daenerys and the Dothraki horde march toward the temple where wives (Khalessis) of dead Khals are housed to spend the rest of their days. This scene plays the usual way; Daenerys thinks people actually care about her numerous titles and they basically tell her to shut up and take several seats. Turns out wahala hasn’t even ended yet, because some other people will have to decide if she gets to stay at the temple or not.

Back in Mereen, Varys is fanning himself like the rest of Nigeria, complaining about heat like the rest of Nigeria. Varys is such a relatable character. The Unsullied bring in some woman who, if you remember, was the one who sent the Unsullied to their fight with the Sons of the Harpy, where most of them and Ser Barristan died. Varys uses his words to get her to spill the tea on who is behind the funding of the Sons of the Harpy.

While that happens, Tyrion, Obama and Missandei have one of the funniest exchanges ever. It is moments like this one that makes me unbothered about deviations from the books. Tyrion is the kind of character that makes every other character more interesting by interacting with them. And then, it turns out the masters of Astapor, the masters of Yunkai and Volantis are the ones funding the Sons of the Harpy. So basically, all the work that Daenerys had done in the previous seasons is all for naught. That’s a cheerful thought.

Back in King’s Landing, the new maester has taken over Varys’ birds, it would seem. He seems to be taking care of the “birds”, it’s rather sweet. Cersei walks in with Jaime and Zombie Mountain and demands that he uses his birds to basically get her all the revenge she wants.

Also, it turns out the small council still exists, and it’s basically a gathering of all the mumus (*looking at you, Grand Maester Pycelle*) in King’s Landing. All except my Lady Olenna Tyrell!!! PS: Lady Olenna happens to be my favorite character on the show, probably because she reminds me of Lady Violet Crawley in Downton Abbey. Both women are witty, sarcastic and sharp-tongued without being venomous. It’s a peculiar skill. And I live for both characters. Lady Olenna wastes no time, immediately reminding Cersei that she isn’t actually the queen. “Margery is the queen,” she says. “You are not the queen, because you’re not married to the king. I do appreciate these things can get a bit confusing in your family.”

HA!GOT5

They argue about who has the proper title to be on the small council, and frankly I don’t care. I just want to hear more Lady Olenna quips. Sadly I don’t get any more.

Unto Tommen – this week, he decides to grow a little bit of liver and “confronts” the High Sparrow. And by confront, I mean he basically begs the High Sparrow to let his mother see her dead daughter’s resting place. Oga Sparrow still says no. Apparently all that naked walk of atonement was not enough. He would need more torture. It would seem that that is what the gods want. What scares me about this High Sparrow dude is that I think he actually believes the bullshit he is spouting. He believes it so much that he has a shit ton of people (followers) backing his faith and his gods. So the gods speak to him and then he does their will. I will go on a rant as to how this applies to our modern times, but then let me just keep kwayet.

Arya’s storyline actually seemed to take some steps forward. She is back at the House of Black and White. And through a beating-training montage, we see her getting a beat-down as per usual, but at some point, sister gurl has had enough of serving Stevie Wonder realness and getting her ass whupped. So she goes full blind ninja on her trainer, giving Daredevil a run for his money. During the montage, she is also asked a series of questions, and as if to foreshadow what is to come, Rickon Stark gets a mention here. I should have smelled something fishy at this point.

Arya has apparently come full Daredevil, and so as a final test, she has to drink from that Fountain of Death. “If a girl is truly no one, she has nothing to fear,” Jaquen says. Arya drinks and survives. Her sight is restored. But I have to wonder: is she truly no one? Has she really let go of her identity and her past?

Back at the North, Ramsay, one of the Kastark lords and some new person are talking about whatever. Ramsay wants the new guy to swear allegiance and new guy says what does swearing allegiance really mean; after all, Ramsey’s father, Roose Bolton swore loyalty to Robb Stark, and we all know how that ended. He even calls the recently deceased Roose Bolton a cunt TWICE! I like this new guy already. He even spills the tea about how everyone knows Ramsay killed his daddy. LOL! The liver on this one.

They talk some more and new guy has something to give Ramsay in exchange for Ramsey’s aid. What does he offer Ramsay? you ask. In comes Osha, the Wildling. The moment she is pushed in, my heart constricts, as I fear Rickon can’t be far behind. And alas, there he is – Rickon Stark. And just to be sure that that’s Rickon, new guy serves up the head of Rickon’s direwolf. RIP Shaggy Dog. Say Hi to Lady in direwolf heaven for me.

Back at the Wall, it would seem the Good Lord heard me earlier this week and answered my need for quick vengeance on the cunt faces, Ser Allister Thorne and Olly. Two extras that don’t matter say their final words. Ser Allister says his and it’s kinda understandable to see where he was coming from. He is still a cunt though. But at least he gave some insight into his crazy. Oga Olly on the other hand just looks like he is about to spit on Jon. God, I hate this character!

Jon takes a few moments, but then of course he hangs the sons of bitches. And by God, it’s a glorious sight. I would have preferred a Lord-of-the-Light themed execution, you know, death by fire. But I’ll take what I can get. As if the camera knows this is what we I want, they spend a few lingering seconds on their dead faces and it’s a thing of beauty. Goodbye, cunt faces.GOT7

Jon Snow then takes his Lord Commander garb off and announces that his watch has ended. The Bros no do again. Kill me once shame on you. Kill me twice…

Other Tidbits:

  1. Mellisandre: “Stannis wasn’t the prince who was promised, but someone has to be.” For those of you who don’t know what prince the lady was referring to, she was talking about Azhor Ahai. You can read up on it to know more.
  2. Jon Snow: “I did what I thought was right and I got murdered for it.” Said literally everyone on this show.
  3. I don’t think Samwell Tarly is rich enough a character to have his own plot thread. But we’ll see.
  4. The fight choreography at the Tower of Joy seemed too choreographed in the sense that there were times when Ser Arthur’s flank was open for attack, but no one dived in. It wasn’t as bad as the Sand Snakes versus Jamie Lannister and Bronn in Dorne, but it was still sloppy at times. The show, for all its brilliance, doesn’t know how to set up fight scenes that involve multiple players.
  5. So when Varys speaks of his birds, he means little children. Hmmm. Who amongst you thought he meant actual birds?
  6. Ramsay Bolton: “Welcome home, Lord Stark.” Please, has any line ever been delivered so creepily? Jesus, this guy is the devil. 🙁
  7. Someone asked what Jon meant by his watch had ended and how he could leave and break the Oath he took. Well, the Oath says your watch ends when you die. Jon did die. So yeah, he his justified in his decision.
  8. This week’s previews show Sansa arriving at the Wall just as Jon leaves. This makes sense since the showrunners are evil and won’t give us the reunion we deserve. Is it too much to ask for two of the Stark children to meet at some point?
  9. I can imagine the outrage if the R+L=J theory ends up being false. I doubt it would be because it just fits and makes so much sense. The clues have been dropped so I expect a return to the Tower of Joy sometime this season.
  10. Death toll this week: OMG, so many good deaths. Olly (YASSSSSSS), Ser Allister and those two extras. Also Shaggy Dog 🙁 Can this show stop murdering the direwolves please? Thanks.

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TALKING POINTS OF THE WEEK

The freaking GOOD WIFE: I remember tweeting before the finale that I was pretty sure that the finale wasn’t going to be satisfactory as there were way too many plot threads to tie up in one episode. Turns out that was an understatement. Just so you know, this wasn’t a bad episode. By the show’s standards, it was a good episode. But it wasn’t a goddamn series finale. The finale ends with Diane Lockhart slapping Alicia, and that’s what this episode felt like – a slap in the collective faces of the fans who have stuck with the show.TGW1

Let’s look at some plot threads that just disappeared.

Please, where was Robin? You know, the quirky investigator for Florrick/Agos, who was willing to put up Cary Agos’ bail money once upon a time? Whatever happened to her?

Alicia Florrick never finds out that she lost the state’s attorney race due to rigging, which her husband was responsible for! Yet after all that scandal, somehow we are expected to believe that she is still capable of having a political career? LMAO! Okay, writers, if you say so.

Also whatever happened to the black lawyer, Monica, I think her name is – you know, the one who Diane and co. was sort of forced to hire? I never heard from her as she joined a list of characters who we never hear from again. Also, remember Taye Diggs’ and Michael Ealy’s characters? Yup, never to be seen again.

Also In the same episode where Alicia claims not to care if Peter is guilty or not, her actions seemed to say otherwise, as she stabbed Diane in the back, all for a man whose guilt she claimed not to care about.

Speaking of Diane, remember how Peter Florrick passed her over for judgeship? You would think she would have reservations about taking him on as a client. But alas, nothing like that.

These are just some off the top of my head.

The Good Wife really went downhill after Will Gardner died. That is, I think, the moment when shit hit the fan.

This was one of the most dreadful series finales I have ever seen. It doesn’t even attempt to tie things up. Instead we spend time on some stupid case that literally no one cares about. I can’t help but take this show as a cautionary tale for what happens when you give your lead actor/character too much power.

Scandal Season 5 finale: From one dreadful finale to another. At this point, I have decided to ease out of this show, just as I did with Empire. When the writing for characters I am invested in becomes this shitty, then it is best I sign out than watch the bullshit go on. The episode opens with Jake killing his wife’s father. This is the same man who was talking about chasing sunshine last week. LOL.

You can’t take command, they say. Bitch please! If you guys really wanted to take command, you’d have done that 2 seasons ago. Alas, Shonda keeps keeping Eli Pope around, and the more people are “scared” of this person, the more stupid they and the entire show looks. It was believable when he was the head of a black ops organization. But now, said organization no longer exists, so what we are left with is a much older man who Jake should realistically be able to kill without much effort. Heck! Olivia and her chair of death don’t even need that much effort to take care of Eli. The scene where Olivia comes to take Jake away and he looks scared of Eli really is comical. Sorry, I know this scene was supposed to be tension-filled and dramatic but I laughed all through.

So it turns out Cyrus does “care” about his daughter. At least he knows where she is and he reaches out to them just in time to use her and Michael for political capital. He dumps Tom who looks sad, but frankly, I don’t care because the show never showed us enough of Cyrus and Tom’s relationship for me to get invested. He ends the season as Vargas’ running mate. Fitting.

Meanwhile, Jake ends up as the running mate for Mellie, as this was the only way Olivia could save him. LMAO. The reach these writers go for eh. So remember that Jake is newly married; apparently his new wife doesn’t matter at all to even be on the stage during the announcement of his nomination. Does she even live in the house that he shares with his “father” Eli Pope? PS: I can’t be the only one that cringes whenever Jake is referred to as Eli’s son? Can the writers please just stop?

Meanwhile Lizzie Bear and David Rosen are hooking up again. Sigh. Moving on…Mellie read Fitz for filth in this episode. LOL. I’m not sure if Fitz deserved that level of shade but Mellie didn’t care and this was my favorite part of the episode. I always enjoy when Mellie reads Fitz because she is basically saying what I am thinking.

Fitz takes the lessons from this scene and has a really nice exchange with Olivia. It says a lot about how the other characters have been written that Season 5 ends and Fitz seems to be the character that irritates me the least on the show currently.

The show ends with the writers expecting us to believe that Eli Pope has always been the puppet master, pulling Olivia’s strings even when he isn’t. Thing is I don’t buy it. It all seemed like a last minute act of desperation to try to tie this season’s arcs so that it looks like this was their plan all along. It’s laughable really that Eli Pope is still a thing going into the 6th season of this show. A character that should have been dispatched a long time ago; it looks to be the undoing of this once great show. Hopefully the shortened 6th season does just that and dumps Eli and his B6-13 shenanigans. I doubt it’ll happen though.

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TV NEWS

Cancellations Galore: Upfront season is near and so networks are getting rid of their dead weight to make room for new shows for the new fall/midseason season. And these are your fallen victims: Galavant (ABC), The Grinder (FOX), Nashville (ABC), Grandfathered (FOX), Castle (ABC), The Muppets (ABC), Agent Carter (ABC), The Family (ABC), Containment (CW), CSI: Cyber (CBS).

Marvel’s Most Wanted (ABC) was supposed to be a spinoff of Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD starring Adrien Palicki (Bobbi Morse AKA Mockingbird) and Nick Blood. But ABC has decided not to pick the show up. This makes sense as I doubt those two characters could have lead their own show successfully. They are better as part of the ensemble over at SHIELD, so I hope they return there.

Renewals: Getting renewed for new seasons are The Catch (ABC), The Real O’Neals (ABC), American Crime (ABC) and Supergirl who has been moved from CBS to CW, which in my opinion is where the show should have been anyways. The move also means the second season won’t be shooting in LA but in Vancouver like the other CW DC shows, The Flash, Arrow and Legends of Tomorrow. As such, I have read that it’s possible that Calista Flockhart who plays the indomitable Cat Grant might not be back for the second season due to the move to Vancouver. Nothing confirmed yet though.

Also I hear Scandal might not return until midseason. That, my dears, means not until around March next year. Nothing has been confirmed though.

Also there is a The Good wife spinoff series in development, but it has yet to get a series order from CBS. If it does get picked up, the series is expected to star Christine Baranski’s Diane Lockhart and Cush Jumbo’s Lucca Quinn.

That’s it for the week guys. Sound off!

Written by Deola

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