DISCLAIMER: The following article contains spoilers from TV Shows of the past week. So if you haven’t SEEN the episodes of the week, and you detest spoilers, then I suggest you leave while you can. If you haven’t and you don’t mind spoilers, feel free to enjoy. If you have seen the episodes, then by all means read on and lets ki-ki.

REVIEW OF THE WEEK: Game Of Thrones – S06E10 (Winds of Winter)

Welcome to my final recap of the sixth season of Game of Thrones, the greatest show that ever was and ever will be. If you don’t agree, please argue with someone else 🙂

How about that for a season finale, eh guys? How friggin’, ridiculously amazing was that! Warning though, this will be longer than usual. Shebi na una wan read my rant, what is my own. 🙂 So let’s do this!

We open with Cersei at the Red Keep with a perfect view of the Great Sept of Baelor. Then we see our major King’s Landing characters, Tommen, Margaery, Ser Loras, the High Sparrow and Cersei getting ready for what should be an interesting day. It’s the day of Cersei’s and Loras’s trial before the Seven. It’s all so beautifully shot, credit to the director here. And it’s underscored by this odd (it is odd because it has pianos in it, I don’t remember the show’s music ever being piano-heavy) yet well-placed and perfect music and no dialogue. The entire opening seems heavy with foreboding, the coming of something grave. It’s all really quite beautiful.

And then we get into the action with Loras on trial. He looks so frail now; last we saw him, he was a broken man. And now, it would seem he is ready to give in to his torturers as he says there won’t be any need for a trial and goes on to confess and accept all the charges. Poor Loras, he probably just wanted all this to end, no matter the cost, one of which involves him getting the seven pointed star carved into his forehead, forever mutilating him. I cringed so hard at this part. It’s like this fucking Sparrow really doesn’t know when to quit while he is fucking ahead!

Like the dude has confessed to everything, you have publicly disgraced him, he is humbled and powerless and hopeless, but you know what, a little forehead tattoo won’t be bad. SMH. I legitimately can’t stand the High Sparrow.

While all this is happening, meanwhile, King Tommen aka Spineless McCoward has been stopped from attending the trial by Zombie Mountain, commanded by Cersei of course. Also Maester Pycelle, having just finished a bout of coitus with a lady of the night (without paying o!), gets lured into a trap by a little bird.

Margaery meanwhile questions the Sparrow’s actions. “You mutilated him. You gave me your word!” she says. And he basically says, “And so what? I can do as I please all in the name of the frigging gods!” Margaery to her credit starts noticing the shadiness of this entire situation. “Where is Cersei?” she questions. To which Oga High Sparrow directs Brother Lancel Lannister dem to go get her from the Red Keep.

Brother Lancel has been quite the irritating son of a bitch for a while, so as he goes out, he too is lured into a trap by a little bird!

Maester Pycelle, now in a dark dungeon-like situation (because nothing bad ever happened in a dungeon. Ode), is approached by Maester Qyburn, who is basically like “Out with old and in with new, I am here to be pleasant and also kill you too!” But then he says it in the nicest way. Like this dude is about to have children kill Pycelle, but hey, at least he is nice about it. And so, he unleashes his little birds on Pycelle and they go all stabby on him. Pycelle was always a nuisance, but was he deserving of that sort of death? Oh well…on to better things.

Simultaneously in his own trap, this time under the Sept of Baelor, Lancel is issuing out threats and then bam! this cute little boy stabs him once and flees. Isn’t it hilarious how Arya gets stabbed a thousand times but still goes on to do a temple marathon after being “stitched and healed” for all of five seconds, and Lancel is stabbed once and can barely move? LMAO!

So this, by the way, is that rumor that Qyburn was talking about a few episodes ago. It’s been quite the badly-kept secret that Wildfire has been hidden under the city most likely from the time of the Mad King, who was obsessed with the stuff.

Lancel is now crawling for his life and then suddenly realizes that “Oh shit, I am in a dungeon underneath the Sept, filled with barrels of wildfire!” Up ahead and behold, it’s the timer and detonator of the bomb. He crawls toward it to try and disarm the bomb.

Meanwhile Margaery is having a full blown freak out. She realizes that something isn’t right, she tells Oga Sparrow, and he spouts something about the gods. “Forget about the bloody gods and listen to what I’m telling you!” she fires back. LOL. She means business, enough with the games. She tries to mobilize the people to exit the Sept but the Sparrow is so drunk with power, he refuses to let anyone leave.

Back underneath the Sept, Lancel can’t disarm the bomb in time, the music swells and it detonates, frying him and making him the first casualty in a mass roasting. The detonation is felt above the dungeon, in the Sept. The people are still struggling to get out; and then, the Sparrow and Margaery exchange one final look, with him looking like he’s realized he’s fucked up, just before he gets blown to smithereens. Unfortunately so does Margaery, Loras and the entire Sept. Cersei watches on from a distance at the Red Keep with an expression of vindication on her face and of course a glass of wine in hand. In one fell swoop, she’s gotten rid of all her enemies. And this is legit the look on my face:IMG_20151118_181252

I most definitely did not see shit going down like this! Tommen is shaken too, as he watches from his room upon Zombie Mountain’s departure.

And then we have a shot of wine being poured on someone’s face! Oh look! It’s Septa Unella AKA Sister Shame. I have heard of waterboarding, but wine-boarding? LMAO! Can’t say Cersei isn’t creative (Joffrey had to have gotten his sadism from someone). She tells Sister Shame to confess! LOL! And then, she goes on to confess all the things she refused to confess last season. From her fucking her brother to killing her husband because, well, they all felt good. And then she says, “I said my face would be last face you saw before you died, do you remember?” Sister Shame replies something along the lines of being ready to meet the gods. Cersei all but laughs in her face: “Today? You’re not going to die today. You’re going to die for quite a while.”

Then she calls on Zombie Mountain to – and I am not clear on this part, rape her? I dunno. It’s awful and Cersei leaves them to it while echoing the infamous chant, “Shame! Shame! Shame!” This, my dear people, is how vengeance is done. That felt soooo good!

While I have slowly recovered from the explosion at the Sept, Tommen is still shaken up. Aswear, homeboy is speechless. His case is even sadder than usual. And just when I thought this can’t get any worse, he takes his crown off and proceeds to fly off the building. I have no words.

Back at the Riverlands, a celebratory dinner is being thrown. House Frey and Lannister are enjoying themselves, having won the Tully castle back from the Blackfish. Jamie is not in a celebratory mood though. A serving girl is the subject of discussion between Bronn and Jamie. I shall call her Serving Girl. I know, how very smart of me. 🙂

Walder Frey comes to chitchat with Jamie. He opens with, “Edmure is back in a cell. Can’t go kill him. He is my son by law. Wouldn’t be right. It’d give the family a bad name.”200 (22)

LMAO! iDied! You can’t say the dude doesn’t have a sense of humor! He talks about how both he and Jamie are “Kingslayers” and Jamie drags him by his nonexistent edges and calls him out for the sneaky cowardly low life that he is. It’s in moments like this that Jamie gets on my good side.

Back in King’s Landing, Cersei is shown Tommen’s corpse. We have seen her reactions to Joffrey’s and Myrcella’s deaths. With Tommen, it’s almost like she has embraced the prophecy of Maggie the Frog. The inevitability of Tommen’s death or maybe the deaths of the previous two have completely left her dead inside as she shows very little if any grief at his death (not that I blame her, as I have the same feeling towards the boy). Still, a mother seeing her dead son, expected or not, should show weightier emotion, should it not? She doesn’t and this legit scares me.

Samwell (armed with Heartsbane), Gilly and the wee baby Sam have arrived Oldtown, and they proceed into the citadel. This scene may seem out of place in what was largely a very serious finale but it was perfectly placed, in my opinion. It provided some much needed levity and humor before we had to dive back into the serious drama. Samwell is taken to the library and it’s like something out of a Harry Potter movie. Samwell looks close to tears even, at the sight of the library’s might. He is such a nerd. And that’s the end of Samwell’s arc this season. All nicely tied up.

Winterfell is up next as we see Mellisandre and Jon engaged is some small talk, only to be interrupted by a furious Ser Davos. He gives her the late Princess Shirren’s toy and demands she tell Jon Snow what she did. This is a confrontation that I have been looking forward to, as it has been slowly brewing all season. After identifying the toy as Shirren’s, she goes on to admit that they burnt her at the stake. Davos asks why and Mellisandre says something about it being the only way. The entire scene is heartbreaking as Davos’ voice quivers and breaks with his anger and grief. It’s so well acted. In the end, Jon chooses not to execute her for murder and instead banishes her. Smart move as she could be useful in the coming days. As much as I want to hold her entirely responsible for Shirren’s death, I blame Stannis and his wife even more; but they are already dead.

Jon and Sansa talk and she talks about how she sees him as a Stark (LOL, okay if you say so). Now that they have their home back, they both don’t know who should be in charge. Their relationship has always been complicated. It never had the strong foundation that Jon and Arya’s did and so, they still don’t fully trust each other. I can tell that this is going to cause a lot of trouble down the line. The conversation ends as Sansa tells Jon a raven came from the Citadel – a white raven. “Winter is here,” she says.

Then we’re taken to Dorne. Holy Shit, it is Dorne! I almost forgot this place existed! Also HOLY SHIT, is that my queen?! IS THAT LADY OLENNA?! Yes it is. All dressed in black, looking as regal and beautiful as ever. I love her so much. Let me try and focus. The Kardashians are also there of course, as Kris Jenner looks to solidify an alliance between their two Houses.

Now you wanna know why I love Olenna? It’s how she proceeds to read each and every one of the bratty girls for filth. From Kourtney to Kim who is about to talk and gets shut down, to Khloe who wasn’t even going to talk but gets shut down for good measure. It’s like, just as they are about to talk, she goes:200 (8)

And I am just seated there getting my life like:200 (7)

The Queen of Thorns is in no mood for bullshit! She is on a mission to slay the Lannisters. Her son and her grandchildren have been taken from her, this is time for business.

Kris Jenner ever so dramatic rings a bell and in sashays – wait of it – LORD FREAKING VARYS. Should have known this is where the sneaky bastard would turn up. He utters the words, “Fire and Blood” (The words of a certain house of ancient platinum-haired Valyrians)

Speaking of platinum-haired Valyrians, Daenerys has a task to do and the task is to break up with Daario Naharis. She goes about this like the classy boss-ass bitch that she is. She commands that Daario and the Seventh Sons stay behind in Meereen to maintain the work she has done and help new leaders be elected. She also renames Slavers’ Bay to the Bay Of Dragons.

Tyrion and Daenerys have a really nice moment. We even get to see a side of Daenerys that we don’t often see. She admits she is scared.

“You’re in the great game now, and the great game is terrifying,” Tyrion says. And here, I had to do a double take. Is it just me or did Tyrion have a love-struck look on his face when he was looking at Daenerys? Hmmmm! Anyway, she gives him a pin. It’s the symbol of the Hand, and she names him the “Hand of the Queen”. How sweet.

OH LOOK! It’s Serving Girl. I wonder why this random serving girl is getting so much screen time. HMMM! She serves Lord Frey pie and he begins gobbling it up, the old mumu that he is. He asks for his children’s whereabouts and Serving Girl says they are “here”. Ah-ah! The room is obviously empty. So is the girl seeing spirits because I am confused and so is Oga Frey. She goes on and still insists that his children are “here”. The dude looks even more confused and so am I. Then she clarifies. She points at the pie and says, “Here, my lord.”

Holy shitface! Serving Girl just served him his children to eat. And while we’re still reeling from that, Serving Girl reveals herself! And it’s Arya Stark!20160628_154451

And in the coldest Assassin Creed voice you’ve ever heard, she says, “My name is Arya Stark. I want you to know that. The last thing you’re ever going to see is a Stark smiling down at you as you die.” Oga Walder aka Kingslayer of life tries to run, but Arya is Daredevil and she drags him back by his roots and slits his throat. We enjoy it, but Arya enjoys it more. She smiles, almost mirroring Sansa’s cheeky smile at Ramsay’s death. The Stark children have gone dark, and my dears, it’s a glorious sight. Revenge is a dish best served with your enemies’ children as the main ingredient. The lessons we have learned here. Take notes, people!

This finale is like that friend that owes you money for five years and in the sixth year, pays you back all your coins with interest! And it’s not even over yet. Lawd yes!

Littlefinger has a come to collect that favor that he is owed for coming to the rescue of Sansa and Co. And for once, this is surprising as Littlefinger doesn’t play coy about this. He boldly states that every move he makes is to ensure his dream. His dream of being on the Iron Throne with Sansa by his side. Wait, What!!?? I am very shocked at this. I thought that like Varys, Littlefinger only wanted to put someone else on the throne. I am surprised that he wants it all for himself, although I shouldn’t be, as this is Littlefinger we are talking about. He tries to kiss Sansa and she is like:not-happening-meme

He also mentions how she should be the Lady of Winterfell and not Jon. Oga Littlefinger wants her there for his own gain, not like he actually cares. Biko shift!

Somewhere in the North, close to the wall, I assume, Benjen says his goodbye to Bran and Meera and says something about not being able to go near the Wall as it is made of magic and only the living can pass. He isn’t exactly alive, you see. And it is believed that the Wall was indeed built by a man called Bran the Builder (an ancestor of the Starks) with the aid of giants and the magic of the children of the forest. Some crazy fans believe than Bran Stark is actually Brandon the Builder but that’s another story for another day.

Bran, now at a weirwood tree, is ready to finish downloading his feem from earlier in the season, as you can see, the network is strongest here. The download begins and we are right back at the Tower of Joy. Right where we were last interrupted. Young Ned hears a scream and makes for the entrance of the tower and Holy shit! We are actually inside! Right there on the bed, all bloodied, is the raven-haired, lovely Lyanna Stark. She is weak. She is dying. Bran watches on. She whispers to Ned. It’s mostly inaudible, but then we hear this part: “If Robert finds out, he’ll kill him. You know he will. You have to protect him. Promise me, Ned. Promise me.” One of the midwives hands Ned the newborn. And the camera transitions from the baby to JON SNOW!

And I pause for a moment and:dcc1

It’s been years in the making, fam! YEARS! (R)haegar + (L)yanna = (J)on has finally been confirmed!!! The signs have been there, but let me drop this little gem here:IMG_20160627_043610

Most damning of the signs? The fact that Ned never told anyone, not even his wife Catelyn, who the mother of this child he brought home was. Also more than one character expressed their disbelief at how an honorable man like Ned would break his honor and cheat on Catelyn.

Jon Snow is a Targaryen, people! A Targaryen with as legit (if not bigger) a claim to the Iron Throne as Daenerys!

In the North, a meeting is being held. Littlefinger is in one corner with the shadiest look ever resting on his face. The Northern lords are arguing over the Wildings and other things as usual. Lyanna Mormont, being the queen she is, stands up and reads all the Northern lords for their cowardice and disloyalty. I swear, not since Arya Stark have I been this completely impressed with a character! And I just love the way she says “refuse to call”. She gives a moving speech and this little girl is everything! “I don’t care if he’s a bastard, Ned Stark’s blood runs through his veins (Does it now? Hmmm). He’s my king from this day until his last day.”

Her rousing speech moves all of them into declaring Jon the King in the North. The scene almost mirrors this one:IMG_20160627_043536

Let’s hope it has a better ending this time. Jon may be the king in the North. But I know who my queen is.IMG_20160610_165544

Her name is Lyanna “I take no bullshit” Mormont. Long may she reign.

In King’s Landing meanwhile, Jamie has arrived via Express Delivery of course, in time to see the havoc his sister-wife has wrecked, and watch her coronation too. Yeah, you read that right. Tired of playing supporting character to whoever is on the throne, Cersei has decided to take the throne herself! She is sworn in by Maester Qyburn as Jamie looks on in horror. She catches his gaze, holds it and then unlooks, turning a resting bitch face ahead.

Hey, it’s Theon! And the Greyjoy Banner! Yara too! OMG! The Unsullied! Holy Cow, I see the Dornish banners too! The Tyrells nko? What’s up? And of course, the badass Targaryen banners!

What is this?!

IT’S AN ARMADA! And it’s a glorious sight! Drogon aka Beyoncé makes his entrance, and like his namesake at the BET Awards, he chooses to splash water around for dramatic effect of course. Michelle and Kelly aren’t far behind! Up ahead, in the first ship is Missandei, Tyrion, Varys (wasn’t this one just in Dorne? Oshey Nightcrawler! Teleporter of life! Master of travels) and Daenerys. The music here is once again incredible, it swells and Daenerys looks ahead, hopeful and finally headed for Westeros. Fire and Blood!

OTHER TIDBITS:

1. The audience of this show has always been split into two. There are the Book readers and the Show watchers. Now I am not exactly a book reader as I haven’t read all the books; in fact, I have only read a couple of chapters of the first book. There is this story about how George R.R. Martin asked the showrunners who Jon Snow’s mother is, and they got it right, and that was why he let them adapt the book for the show. I don’t know how true it is though, but my point is, as Show watcher you really owe it to yourself to kinda dig for more information than what is provided on the show. While IMO they have done a really standout job with the show, the books are a different animal. Now, like I said, I am not exactly a Book reader but I have sought out a shitload of information about the books. So I know a shitload (and with a shitload more to cover), and trust me, there is a shitload to know. The show, for all its awesomeness, barely scratches the surface of the source material at times – which you can’t blame them for; for 10 one-hour episodes a season, there are only so many stories you can tell.

The source material is so vast and rich that I am sure that when this show ends, they can have a prequel show set either in The Age of Heroes, The Long Night, The Doom of Valyria, Aegon’s Conquest, Robert’s Rebellion… Just to name a few, that can run for as many seasons, if not more. Point is, when one knows a bit about the source material, you’d come to appreciate certain things more. For example, the R+L=J theory is one that has been around amongst the fans since the first book. Now I can’t imagine finally having that confirmed (as a Book reader) will have the same impact as someone who only watches the show. If anything, as a Show watcher, it’d feel like just another twist, nothing special, when indeed, it’s this huge reveal that’s been years in the making. You don’t have to read the books, but there are tons of articles and videos out there. Devour them and you’d come to marvel at the genius that is George R.R. Martin.

2. Cersei’s leather-and-chrome gown! My heavens, I legit lost my breath for a second. It was stunning!

3. I am actually very angry at Margaery. But mostly disappointed. So was that it? Was that her super awesome plan? Have her brother also confess and be released so they can – what? Flee to Highgarden? What was her plan for the Sparrow then? Maybe I overestimated her. I was frankly very irritated that she stood by and let her brother get mutilated.

4. Death Toll: It was a brutal week for everyone. RIP to Margaery and Loras. A big Meh to the deaths of Tommen, Mace Tyrell, Maester Pycelle and Kevan Lannister. And a huge Fuck YESSSSS! to the deaths of the High Sparrow, Walder Frey and Lancel Lannister.

5. I don’t know if anyone noticed it, but the footage of the initial explosion of the Sept (the dungeon, to be specific) was seen earlier in the season in one of Bran’s visions. Does that mean Oga Bran can see the future? The rules really aren’t set in stone with regards to his greenseeing powers, are they? He can see the past, somehow affect it too AKA time travel, and now, he can see the future? Goddamn that’s crazy.

6. Cersei’s children were what humanized her a bit. With all three gone, the woman is officially off the rails. King’s Landing hasn’t seen anything yet. You can tell Jamie is now terrified of her. She’s gone and done the exact thing he killed the Mad King for; she’s burnt the whole shit down. She’s the Mad Queen now. Which somehow reminds me of another prophesy, the one about Valonqar. Let’s see if the show fulfills this one. Oh, and I literally just felt numb toward Tommen’s death. I know I wanted the kid gone, but the way he left? Just meh.

7. I love how both George R.R. Martin and the showrunners inject real life parallels into the show/books in the most subtle way. Whether they are calling out religious extremism, political warfare, corruption, slavery or homophobia; take Ser Loras’s situation for example. In the mind of the High Sparrow and his followers, they broke/mutilated him because they “love” him and they “care” and want him to change, because that’s what’s best for him, is it not? But you see, love and care is all well and good, but alas, what most of us need is understanding. You don’t understand something and so it’s human to immediately antagonize it, but take a deep breath, pause and try and see things from another perspective that isn’t yours. Just try.

I feel you know that deep down, once you try to understand, you’ll get it and your hate will disappear. And that’s scary because that hate, that feeling of having a moral high ground is what makes you feel good about yourself and think you are better than the next person.

I love that this tea is always subtly served and I am always ready to take a sip.

8. Cersei has always been a bitch but never really an outright villain. Now that she is though, I bet you she makes the best one we’ve seen on the show yet! Even better than Joffrey and Ramsay, I daresay. And she is already off to a good start! Also notice that she was crowned as Cersei Lannister and not Baratheon.

9. The soundtrack for this season is available for download. It’s composed by Ramin Djawadi. And the entire soundtrack is fucking amazing, especially the “Light of the seven” (which was played at the beginning of this episode). Also check out the YouTube Channel Mayes T. There is a five-part docuseries there about the show that’s really cool. There are other stuffs on there too. So knock yourselves out.

10. This was a season of payoffs! It’s like, after suffering for five long years, we finally get to be hopeful. From Jon’s resurrection to Dany finally headed for Westeros. They even managed to confirm one of the biggest fan theories in the history of literature! I’m so hyped for the next season.

11. I’m sure most of you have heard that the show has apparently just 2 seasons left, and 13 episodes to finish up. Reports say next season will have just 7 episodes while the next one would have 6. The episodes are expected to be much longer though, so don’t fret.

12. Also while it’s been a running joke for me as to how fast the characters have traveled distances that should generally take months, here is actually what I think. The various plot lines are all happening at different times. So just because Cersei is taking down folks at King’s Landing doesn’t mean her plot and say Dany’s plot are running simultaneously; either one of them could be weeks or months behind. I do feel by the end of this season, everyone is on the same page. And plot movements will happen all together, moving forward. That’s me trying to find sense in it.

It’s been an absolute blast covering this show this entire duration. It feels like the 10 weeks have gone by so fast. I have learnt so much more about critiquing and reviewing, and that’s mostly due to the feedback from you guys. Thanks, it’s been awesome. Until whence we see again…IT’S YOUR TURN SOUND OFF!!!

Written by Deola

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