Four Years Later

Four Years Later

It is exactly 4 years since the Same Sex Marriage (Prohibition) act was passed into law under President Goodluck Jonathan.

I woke up the morning after the law was passed feeling ecstatic and filled with God’s love. Finally, after fifty-four years of independence, Nigeria was going to get so much better for its citizens. We would be able to hold our heads high and proud and be compared to other first world nations. It was a very great feeling. We had finally come together as a country and discovered the cause of our problems and, together, rooted it out. It was going to be bliss and prosperity thenceforth.

And it was! By God, it was! It has been the best four years of our lives. Suddenly, there has been free healthcare for all citizens of the country. Railroads with bullet trains sprung up overnight. With the teardrops of every sinful and evil faggot in the country, roads magically became tarred left, right, and center.

What a WAWU!

The elections of the following year were conducted in an unprecedented free and fair manner. Political thuggery was gone! Leaders that kept to their campaign promises were elected. Magic!

Praise the Lord!

By Jove, what a marvelous time it was!

And then, the coup de grâce: Electricity. Twenty-four hours of uninterrupted electricity! In every part of the country! It was like a dream! Petrol sold at N64 per litre! The faggots hindering the progress of our country were discovered and jailed, in some cases killed, and the wealth and welfare of the nation blossomed overnight.

According to UN statistics, Nigeria is well on its way to becoming the third largest economy in the world by the end of 2019! I can’t contain my joy! Our manufacturing industry is second only to China’s. Our schools are the best in the world. In 2017, we generated $2 billion from foreign students coming to study in Nigeria. Angela Merkel’s son was involved in an accident and was flown to Nigeria to receive expert medical treatment.

It’s been an amazing 4 years and it’s all because we finally came together and pushed out all the evil, satanic and demonic homosexuals in the country. I am so proud of Nigeria.

God bless Nigeria. God bless Goodluck Jonathan. God bless President Buhari. Satan punish the fags and Bobrisky.

Written by Eggsy

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  1. Dunder
    January 09, 08:19 Reply

    From the very first line, I just started laughing.

    But to be honest, we have to really appreciate this bill because since the faggot cabal has been banned from kissing, loving, assembly, marriage etc, their weight has been lifted off of our currency’s value and with the Naira very stable at N5 to the dollar, it is obvious that Goodluck Jonathan, the Jesus of our time, did the right thing.

    Look at the former glory of the world, America, were since the supreme court ruled, permitting fags and dykes alike to also be able to hitch up and frustrate each other for life, the government has mandated that every adult male and female be issued a compulsory gay partner so as to further weaken heterosexual marriage. See how many of our uncles have been running back from US, Ireland, Canada, Mexico, Germany etc to Nigeria to treat the hemorrhoids and anal cancer that Obama has forced upon them. From all over the world, our Aunties and Grandmas have been running back home to seek safety from their government issued wives who have been forcefully scissoring them and monitoring their phones and threatening their husbands (our diaper- wearing uncles and grandpas). The capital flight back to Naij and brain gain confuses economists to this day. Honestly, asides Saudi Arabia, Nigeria is the next wonder of the world.

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