Once ‘Father’ and ‘Son,’ Now Married To Each Other

Once ‘Father’ and ‘Son,’ Now Married To Each Other

1468afdc65d67d3b7d32e20222299c9474031d2bA couple who were legally father and son for the last fifteen years had their adoption vacated and were married this week after 52 years together.

Norman MacArthur, 74, (left) and Bill Novak, 76, were married in Pennsylvania on Sunday. The couple, who has been together since their 20s, registered as domestic partners in New York City in 1994, but in 2000, they moved to Erwinna, Pennsylvania, where domestic partnerships are not legally recognized. “When we moved to Pennsylvania, we had both retired and we were of the age where one begins to do estate planning,” MacArthur tells Yahoo Parenting. “We went to a lawyer who told us Pennsylvania was never going to allow same-sex marriage, so the only legal avenue we had in order to be afforded any rights was adoption.”

MacArthur says he thought the suggestion was strange at first. “It struck me as fairly unusual, but we looked into it and discovered that other couples had done it. Without the adoption, we would be legally strangers.”

An adoption would grant the couple certain legal rights they felt compelled to secure.

“Most importantly, it would allow us visitation rights in a hospital, and gaining of knowledge if one of us was in the hospital,” he says. “With new HIPAA privacy laws, hospitals are very constrained in what they can say to other people. If we were legally related, I would be allowed into the ER and entitled to know what Bill’s condition was if anything should happen.”

8bcf1b0b062ac6e444f0e9eafb2d9d8dc645c7a2So in 2000, the two went through with a legal adoption. Since both men’s parents were dead, the adoption proceeding was fairly easy. “It wasn’t as though I was replacing one parent with another,” MacArthur says. “I was the son and Bill was the father. Bill is two years older than I am, so that was the only reason.”

Hayley Gorenberg, deputy legal director at Lambda Legal, says that while adoptions like these aren’t common, they aren’t unheard of, either. “It reflects people’s deep need to protect each other as family, and the attempt to use law that obviously isn’t a perfect fit to their situation to protect each other,” she tells Yahoo Parenting. “While we’ve had a patchwork nation and people have been desperate to take care of each other in some basic way legally, people have sometimes gotten creative to do what they need to do to protect each other as a family. It’s entirely understandable.”

But when Pennsylvania’s marriage laws, which prohibited same-sex marriage, were declared unconstitutional last year, MacArthur and Novak wanted to marry. “As marriage equality, which we’ve fought so hard for, is becoming more available, it makes sense that people would pursue the legal option that more closely explains who they are to each other,” Gorenberg says. “Marriage is the better fit, and if it was available without discrimination, it is what they would have chosen originally.”

The couple’s original lawyer told them that no court would dissolve an adoption unless another person adopted MacArthur. “I said, ‘that makes no sense to me,’ so we began to look around for other options,” he says. Terry Clemons, a lawyer MacArthur knew through volunteer work on the township’s land preservation movement, suggested that the courts might look favorably on a petition to vacate an adoption if it was made clear that the only reason for the original adoption was to give a legal underpinning to the relationship.

The couple went to court on May 14 in hopes the judge would sign the petition to vacate their adoption so they could get legally married. “When we went to court, my knees were knocking, but at the end of the hearing, Terry said, ‘we’re hoping you will sign the order to vacate the adoption from the bench,’ and the judge said ‘I will happily do that,’” MacArthur says. “We had 30 friends in court to show that this case was out of the ordinary — though the judge knew that — and when the judge signed the order our friends burst into applause and I burst into tears.”

The case is the first time in Pennsylvania that an adoption between a same-sex couple has been vacated in order to allow the couple to marry, according to a statement from Clemons.

Ten days later, the two went from father and son to married couple. “We wanted to get the marriage done fairly quickly after the court vacated the adoption,” MacArthur says. “At that point we didn’t have any legal protection so we wanted to get it taken care of.”

The wedding was a small private ceremony conducted by an old friend of the couple’s who is an Episcopalian priest. “I feel incredibly happy. It’s the only way I can describe it – just enormously happy,” MacArthur says. “It was very much worth the wait.”

 

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25 Comments

  1. Francis
    May 28, 04:19 Reply

    So much wahala on top equal rights. Straight folks be acting pretty retarded. If they had simply made civil partnerships have the same full rights as marriage, all these noise no go dey.

  2. Brian Collins
    May 28, 05:02 Reply

    The lengths people go to be together. I am just always excited when people find loop holes such as this in the legal system.
    Bill: The good people of Pennsylvania dont want us to get married and be/live together as a family
    MacArthur: Well let them stick it, how about we become a real basic family instead.
    MacArthur: Will you be my daddy?
    Bill: Yes baby, yes!!
    I am almost certain that this is impossible in Nigeria. I doubt if anyone has thought of it and it wouldnt even matter. No special right would come as a result.

    • pinkpanthertb
      May 28, 05:03 Reply

      Hahahahahahahahaa. ‘Will you be my daddy?’ Ok, I can totally imagine them having this conversation.

      • Mercury
        May 28, 06:44 Reply

        Didn’t I say this yesterday and a certain sombori called me nasty???? *narrowing my eyes

    • Ace
      May 28, 11:59 Reply

      Brian bless you! In countries were the legal system works, people always find ways and this is a classical example. See how relatively straight forward everything went because they have laws.

  3. Mercury
    May 28, 06:43 Reply

    Awwwwww, no be human beings be that???, ehn!!!, they’ve been together for 52, against all odds, harsh clime or not…..we over here always have an excuse for promiscuity and unfaithfulness.

    • Francis
      May 28, 06:46 Reply

      @Mercury thanks for pointing that out for those of us that keep complaining that Naija is not conducive for strong gay relationships

    • Max
      May 28, 08:25 Reply

      Wet kisses for you @Mercury.. We love playing the “blame game” in this Clime..

      • Max
        May 28, 19:28 Reply

        Oh yeah @Pinky.. Enough orgasms to last a month 🙂

    • Mercury
      May 28, 10:17 Reply

      My dears I couldn’t help pointing it out oooo.

  4. Masked Man
    May 28, 07:00 Reply

    Okay, let me go and ask Atiku if he will be my daddy. I heard he likes them hunky too. No be me talk am sha.

  5. trystham
    May 28, 07:50 Reply

    50+ years? Unfavourable situation? Pinky, you do not think I see what u are doing, but I do. My eyes are wide open. This post nd Absalom’s MGM post neck-to-neck…how do you even sleep at night? Oh yes! You hardly sleep. When ur hands are cleaner, you prolly will start sleeping better. Evil child!

    • Mercury
      May 28, 10:20 Reply

      No mind pink panther. The witch sure knows how to stir the cauldron.

  6. Max
    May 28, 08:26 Reply

    Is it legally possible for a single man to adopt a child in Nigeria?
    #QuestionForTheLawyersInTheHouse

      • Max
        May 28, 10:29 Reply

        I need to know biko. Bcos I need to adopt me a full grown ass man as a son. 🙂

  7. Sinnex
    May 28, 10:10 Reply

    Good for them….

    This should be ‘Same Sex Marraige Advocacy Week’ on KD.

  8. Carl
    May 29, 02:29 Reply

    Forever in love with love and the idea of love. ❤️

  9. Bob
    May 29, 22:57 Reply

    ith sex, merely as it would be tough to inform a tale sprinkled
    with explicit sex-related information. In the actual act
    of describing sex as a fortuitous, you add an unbearable sex scene.

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