Gay Man has something to say about the gay culture of “converting” straight men

Gay Man has something to say about the gay culture of “converting” straight men

A Redditor took to the microblogging site to point out the problematic nature of gay guys being fixated on hooking up with straight guys. “Please don’t romanticize ‘turning’ straight boys,” he wrote in a thread. “Please chase after someone who deserves you and won’t just treat you as, at the very best, an experiment. You deserve so much better than that.”

Commenters on the post were quick to agree. “I definitely understand the fantasy; we want what we can’t have,” one wrote. “But there’s a lot of people who do a lot of unsolicited perving over straight guys, and all that does is make them uncomfortable, and it gives them a bad impression [of] gay men.”

“This,” a user replied to the comment above. “Keep your fantasies fantasies.”

“This is why straight men want nothing to do with gay or bi men,” another commenter opined. “Christians have always said that gay men want to convert straight men, and some gay men are proving that. And getting a straight guy drunk to have sex with him is predatory and can be considered rape. Again, this is why straight men do not like gay or bi men. Gay men get mad if people want to convert them and disrespect their sexual orientation but will turn around and try to convert and disrespect straight men’s sexual orientation.”

One commenter, meanwhile, said he has a gay friend who claims “getting straight guys in bed” as a superpower of his. “He wants to take me camping this month, with some straight guys, 4 or 5, and then me and him. Apparently, a lot happens on these trips,” he wrote. “I am 38 years old. I don’t want to freeze my ass off to go camping with closeted or sexually confused people just to get some dick. Who won’t want to know me after!”

“Tried this for years, never succeeded unlike others and broke my heart over and over again,” that user added.

One fellow lamented that he fell for a straight dude and will never do so again, but another commenter said that crushing on straight guys is a different beast. “A lot of gays fall for a straight guy at school or early on in life as part of figuring themselves out,” he observed. “That’s fine and sweet and innocent. It’s when it gets to the point of fetishizing straight guys and making it a mission to ’turn them’ which is an issue.”

“It’s the same as straight guys trying to turn lesbians,” he continued. “It’s not okay, and no, they’re not interested in your genitals. Move on.”

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8 Comments

  1. BlackPope
    October 18, 06:23 Reply

    Honestly, some persons in the queer community, needs to hear this and get it sunk deep down in their head.
    Respect people for their sexuality, if he’s straight let him be straight.
    Just as you lash out on straights trying to convince and convert a lesbian, so they should lash out on you or probably molest you trying to convert a straight guy…
    This menace has to stop!!! I don’t really know where this is from but it sure needs to stop.
    I think there should be a hashtag campaign for this and a proper sensitization on this issue, to folks involved in this shit!!!

  2. Mitch
    October 18, 07:18 Reply

    ….Gay men get mad if people want to convert them and disrespect their sexual orientation but will turn around and try to convert and disrespect straight men’s sexual orientation….

    This should be etched in stone and given to all these idiot converters. Awon AC to DC converters. Ndi ara of no reasonable consequence.

    Respect people’s sexual orientations. They are deserving of respect just like yours.

    Tufiakwa some people.
    Carrying on like heterosexual dick is different from gay/bi dick or even better than gay/bi dick.

    Nonsense and misbehaviour!

  3. Tristan
    October 18, 11:52 Reply

    The problem is not being friends with a straight guy but having a sexual motive behind that friendship. If you know your worth, you have to respect yourself and people’s boundaries.

    I’m a closeted gay man with both queer and straight friends. At times, I’m tempted to swoon over my straight friends when we get tipsy, but not enough to not snap out of it. I’m demisexual and simply don’t see anything happening between us when I’m sober. I roll my mind’s eye each time they spew homophobic statements which I manage to dismiss with another topic.

    You are only going to be making a joke and mockery of yourself offering yourself to someone who isn’t attracted to same sex let alone attracted to you. Worse still, it could get scandalous and get you eventually ‘kitoed.’

    I don’t want to rule out the fact that people can be fluid. I’ve heard people tell me they used to be straight until they met someone who turned them bi or gay. Thus, I believe there are people who’s had it in them but have subconsciously repressed their feelings due to societal norms until they meet someone who would unlatch their cocoons and have them spread their wings and fly.

    Don’t just make friends to have sex with them. Take time and get to know people and their boundaries so you don’t end up doing anything stupid.

    • Pink Panther
      October 18, 14:29 Reply

      Your entire comment is very sound.

      But I landed on the part where all you do when your straight friends spout homophobic opinions is to roll your eyes and change the subject.

      I get very disappointed when gay people say things like this. When they admit that all they do when friends and family spout homophobia is to either stay quiet or change the subject. As opposed to trying to correct those opinions or checking the prejudice of those loved ones.

      It makes me question how much y’all really want our community to be free of the hate, how much you want society to change, when you can’t even begin from the smallest units of society — your environment, your circles — to check the homophobia.

      • Tristan
        October 18, 18:22 Reply

        PP, you got me there.

        Inasmuchas it’s important to speak up when matters like that arise, it’s not easy to dwell on that topic when you are in the midst of homophobes. You know that uncomfortable feeling you get when your sexuality becomes questionable and you hear something like “You sure say you no be gay?” and get this caustic glance directed at you each time your activism surfaces. And everyone laughs at you while you are still trying to stand your ground and remain in the closet with the door still very locked.

        I agree with you that its something we must have to do. To speak up for us; to enlighten the ignorant. But its not an easy thing to do.

        • Patrick
          October 19, 23:10 Reply

          I’m also in the closet but all my friends know my stance on homophobia. We actually jointly decry the menace. I don’t understand why gay people form close associations with homophobes. Yes, we can’t entirely get away from them, but our close circle shouldn’t be of people who radiate negative energy.

          The run-of-the-mill homophobic talking points of the average Nigerian are rather easy to counter.Start by calling out the hypocrisy of it all(especially when they start to quote the Bible). Put paid to the notion that homosexuality is unafrican. And so on. Don’t set out to change their minds; just register your dissenting voice. And as other dissenting voices begin to grow, homophobes will begin to second guess themselves. Ingrained, religion-reinforced mindsets don’t change in a day.

  4. Black Dynasty
    October 18, 13:11 Reply

    Truth, but I doubt this article will help those with that sort of mindset.
    I firmly believe that if you think it is ok to sleep with straight men especially against their will (without consent, black mail, bribery when they’re desperate etc), you should carry the same energy if someone else you’re uninterested in violates you sexually; you reap what you sow I suppose.
    Sometimes folks don’t realise or perhaps don’t care about how they hurt/damage people until the same is done to them unfortunately; until empathy is taught by force.

  5. Mike
    October 20, 18:03 Reply

    Converting straight men is not a thing, if it were a thing then gay conversion therapy should be a thing.

    It’s funny how gays are quick to judge the efficacy of gay conversion therapy yet quick to accept, fantasy about the notion of turning a straight man gay.

    80% of that fucked up idea is pure molestation, if not rape. The remaining 20% is just manipulation.

    If straight men and religious folks can’t play God, why do gay men succumb to the idea that they can?.

    The idea itself is what needs clarification not the act itself. You go fear magical puna that can turn straight men gay.

    A man is either gay, bi or clearly out of his mind , to get in bed with a gay man if he were straight.

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