Here’s A Gay Man’s Advice On What To Do If You Think Your Child Is LGBTQ
Jack Remmington was sitting at a Mariah Carey-themed slot machine in Las Vegas when he had a life-changing encounter.
A man who appeared to be in his forties approached Remmington — a musician who is part of the duo Jack & Joel and rose to fame as a competitor on The X Factor (U.K.) — and his friend Marco Alessi. After a few minutes of conversation, the stranger, a native of rural Arkansas, asked the pair if they were gay.
When the two confirmed that yes, indeed they were (the Mariah slots and their pink attire were apparent tells), the man revealed he had a 13-year-old son who he believed might be part of the LGBTQ community. He then asked for advice on how to “navigate that”; Remmington recounted this in a story shared on Twitter Wednesday that has since gone viral.
Remmington and Alessi, drawing from their own experiences growing up, offered a series of tips for the concerned parent. Remmington recommended “normalising conversations around gay kisses on TV” and avoiding family conversations “that might shame potential queerness.”
In this vein, Remmington said the dad should avoid “policing” behavior or clothing that may be gender-nonconforming. He also recommended making their acceptance of LGBTQ people known — but not in a way that would attempt to force a child to come out before he, she, or they are ready.
“When I was about 12, my obviously straight brother and I were watching a soap with my dad and there was a gay kiss on screen,” Remmington recalled from his own experience. “I vividly remember my dad saying if either of us ever thought we were gay that we would still be just as loved by our mum and dad.
“Knowing that nothing would change stuck with me hugely and I remember that convo as if it was yesterday – it was *clearly* said for my benefit but was comfortable enough that it wasn’t a direct exchange and I appreciate my dad so much for this,” Remmington praised of his father’s remarks.
Remmington then lauded the Arkansas dad for reaching out for advice. “He’s clearly doing all the right things and is making his son feel as comfortable as he can. Take notes people this is how it’s done!! Particularly given that the boy is growing up far out of a metropolitan city this kind of unconditional love and support is invaluable.”
Read the full Twitter thread below — and feel free to leave your own advice for parents in the comments.
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7 Comments
MagDiva
January 06, 07:51This speaks to me!! For about 2 years now, I’ve believed my 10 year old is gay. Don’t ask me how I know – a mother just knows these things. Would it change anything, heck no! He will still be the loving, kind child that he is and still my son.
I’ve tried having this conversation with the other half to gauge his reaction and I guess prep him for what is to come in the future. For now, he’s happy playing the ostrich and pretending there’s nothing there and it’s all my imagination. All I know is that when that time comes, I will make sure he knows that regardless of what some might think, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with him and our love, support and respect for him is still 100%
Mandy
January 06, 08:07The fact that your 10 year old has a mom that reads KD… That little guy is fortunate. I’m glad you’re already looking out for him. I hope there are more parents like you in our generation looking out for their LGBTQ kids in the upcoming generations.
And guard against your hubby messing up your child’s psyche with any masculine expectations.
Francis
January 06, 08:41????? ? ? ? ? ? ?
Christie
January 06, 17:50God bless you ma’am
that dark-fair guy
January 06, 19:28You are rare Madam.Your son got himself a star mom.❤️
Malik
January 07, 09:21A five-star mum! ?????
Black Dynasty
January 07, 10:47Your son is lucky to have a mother like you who loves him unconditionally.