WRITER’S NOTE: My name is Teflondon. I have been reading Kito Diaries since last year, but never thought to contribute until now. And I must admit, I have been more than impressed by the work done here daily, from the articles posted to the comments and different opinions expressed. Before I start my story, let me follow a few protocols of ass kissing and butt licking. I want to appreciate Pink Panther first of all for bringing all this together, for making such a platform where learned LGBT can interact. I am not by any means an awesome writer, maybe average at best. And I am amazed at the brilliant minds of everyone that writes on this blog. I can’t write fiction because my mind is not as imaginative as the lot who do so. However, the story I have to share is real. Here goes.


This happened a few years back. And I remember it all, because the turn of events changed my life forever.

I was listening to my James Blunt album on my iPod, seated outside my (father’s) house. There was no light and my dad was not home, as he always isn’t. I was very broke, and so had no money to buy fuel for the generator. I was also bored. And as any spoilt twenty-one-year-old fresh graduate of a prestigious private school would do when he is bored, I put a phone call through to a friend, Tolu. Tolu was my supplier of hunks, and I was looking for him to hook me up.

Me: Hello, how far, Tolu? Wetin dey? E don tey wey we talk last.

Tolu: Yes o! Na you forget us na. People like us no dey exist for your world except you need us.

I laughed at that.

Me: No, no be like that. It’s just that I have been busy with graduation and everything that comes with it.

Tolu: Okay, I understand.

Me: Anyway, how far? You get any parole for me? I’m just home and so bored.

Tolu: Ah! Tonight?

It was about 10pm.

Me: Yes o, tonight.

I was used to getting what I want whenever I want it.

Tolu: Okay, make I try see if I fit get for you.

Me: Ok abeg try o!

A few minutes later, he called back.

Tolu: E get this boy, you go like am. I just introduced him to the game. His name is David. Na fine boy, but e say na only rich guys fit make am do am o.

Now, I am from a fairly wealthy family, so I fit the bill. It was apparent to me that the guy could be a gold digger, but I was too horny to think right.

Me: Ehn, no wahala. Make him dey come.

Tolu: Ok, I go give am your number so e go fit locate you.

Me: Oshey padi mi. Thanks a lot.

The moment I ended the call, I fled inside the house to take a bath and get ready. Thereafter, I went out to buy indomie with the little change I had on me, what I would cook for my visitor upon his arrival. When I got back home, I settled back on where I was sitting and continued with my James Blunt album.

After nearly an hour had gone by, I became restless. No one had called me to ask me about my address. The thought that I might have gotten stood up had me getting angry. But I kept on with my wait.

And then, just when I was about to doze off, my phone rang. I woke up to answer the call. The number flashing on my screen was unknown to me. As my heart skipped in delight, I had this intuition that it was my hook-up calling. I answered the call, maintaining my silence when I pressed the phone against my ear. I had to form small.

Caller: Hello?

Me: Hey, sorry who’s this?

David: My name is David. Am I speaking to Teflondon?

Me: Yes?

David: Ok, Tolu gave me your number. He said you wanted me to visit.

Me: Yes that true. I wanted you to come over tonight, but I can see you didn’t want to come hence you calling me by this time.

I was starting to get angry, and could feel my voice rising, only to get cut short with his next words.

David: I’m around your house, in front of Delux Hotel.

This was around 11:30pm. When I realized how late it was and the effort he must have expended to get to my area at that time of the night, I toned down my attitude.

Me: Oh my God! Are you serious?!

David: Yes I am. Tolu gave me your address.

Me: Okay, just walk down a little, you will see a Close, it’s called Jonathan Coker Close. Walk into it and tell the gateman you are going to the White House, and you want to see Junior.

David: Are you sure the gateman will let me in? Why not come and meet me outside.

Me: I’m too tired to come out. Just do as I have said, please don’t be angry.

Several minutes later, he was in my compound. It was dark and I couldn’t make out his features very well to rate his cuteness level. What I could make out using my phone light was average. His looks had a ruggedness to it, and he was tall, say 5.9, slim and a bit muscular; just how I like them. He was wearing a black jacket and some denim pants with a pair of palm slippers on his feet.

I introduced myself and took him into the house. We both sat in the sitting room. I asked if he wanted to eat, and he declined. I was relieved, because I wasn’t of the mind to prepare anything anymore. So we got talking and chatting about ourselves. There was no light still, and it was really hot. It wasn’t long before we began perspiring, and all the while, I was playing scenes in my head of us having sweaty, hot sex.

Eventually, we got down the entire night. I woke up the next morning feeling like sleeping beauty. As I stretched on the bed, feeling a mixture of satisfaction and awesomeness put together, I realized that David had already woken up and was sitting on a chair across the bed looking at me. He was so cute, I mean, very handsome. I was really surprised at how handsome he was in the light of the morning, because the previous night, he didn’t look all that. I felt very pleased that I had found myself a new heartthrob.

W3hen he was ready to leave, I accompanied him to the bus stop. And to my surprise, he didn’t ask me for his transport fare, like most of my hookups do. I didn’t have any money on me, so I was really delighted he didn’t ask. He left and I went back home. I immediately called Tolu and thanked him for another good parole, the best so far.

Fast forward to a few months later, and David and I had grown close. My younger brother now knew him, and he’d spoken of me to his family. At some point, when his grandfather died, his family told him to get me a piece of aso-ebi for the burial. He became a frequent face at my place, coming and going as he pleased. I’d just gotten this EOD (End Of Discussion) car gift from my dad as a graduation present, and I cruised David and I about town in it, hitting up hot-spots, going to parties and the cinema. He seemed to enjoy himself a lot in my company, you know, a guy from the slums. And I think he started to fall in love with me. He began to fancy us an item, when all I ever thought of us was as friends with benefits. He’d come to my house, and see other guys around, and he’d start sulking and acting up. I didn’t mind thought.

Then came the day that marked the beginning of the end; the day I met someone I shouldn’t have.

That Saturday, I’d attended a wedding. I was at the ceremony, when a server came up to me to ask what I wanted, pounded yam or fried rice. I looked up at the most handsome guy I had ever seen in my life. Fair, slim, tall, with fresh-to-death skin. In my mind, I was like, What (in Khaleesi’s hell) is this fine something doing as a waiter, when he should be a model or something.

I somehow managed to tell him that fried rice would do. After he placed my meal before me and walked away, I kept tabs on him throughout the event, until it was almost ending. Then I walked up to where he was doing the dishes.

Me: Hello? What’s your name?

I could feel the stares of the other catering staff on me, as they no doubt wondered what a rich, good-looking guy would be doing in that section of the party.

Server: My name is Kelvin.

Me: Ok, that’s nice. My name is Teflondon.

Kelvin: Hope no problem, sir? Or do you want remnants for dog food?

I hadn’t even thought of that.

Me: Yes. I want it for dog food. Uh, please can I see you?

I called him apart from the prying eyes.

Me: Please give me your number. I’ll like to speak to you later. I’ll like you to help me with some things.

At his nod, I handed him my phone to type his number. It was a tactic I liked to use to impress on the other person how affluent I was. He typed his number, and handed the phone back to me. He typed his number and returned my phone to me. I thanked him and left.

A few weeks later, I gave Kelvin a call and asked if he could pay me a visit. At first, he was hesitant, and then later agreed. When he came to my place, we talked and I treated him to a good time, gave him money and told him I liked him a lot. He was very appreciative, and it was only a matter of time before we got down. Then he started visiting regularly, and on some of his visits, he met David in my place. He was always friendly and cool with David, but David was the exact opposite, very unfriendly and just short of nasty toward Kelvin. Oftentimes, he’d call me to complain about how he didn’t like Kelvin, and how he didn’t like that I didn’t mind him coming around. I really liked David, but at that particular time, I liked Kelvin more, and there was no hiding it. I don’t know how to hide it when I like someone. What I felt for David had waned in the face of my affection for Kelvin. I even started buying things for Kelvin. David had been asking me to get him a new phone for awhile, but I kept delaying the purchase because the phone he was using was still okay and I saw no reason for him to get a new phone at the moment. But Kelvin owned a palasa, a dead looking phone. And so, I decided to get him a new one, the Blackberry phone that was en vogue then.

When David realized what had happened, he went into a fury, accusing me of betraying him, and stormed out of my house as though it would be the last time we’d ever see each other again.

A month passed since his dramatic exit from my life, a month during which Kelvin and I became an item. And then, one night, as I cruised around with Kelvin, my phone rang. Until today, I wish I’d never picked that call, for it was what changed my life forever.

I picked the call, and it was David.

David: Junior, nawa o. So this is life. After all we had together, you mean you can go a month without calling or speaking to me.

Me: It’s not like that. I thought you were angry with me because of Kelvin.

I looked at Kelvin, who was beside me, and pointed at the phone, mouthing David’s name. He nodded in understanding.

Me: I am even with Kelvin as we speak.

David: But you know what you did is unfair. Anyway, can I come and see you tonight?

I didn’t mind seeing David. I’d missed him so much. And I knew Kelvin wouldn’t mind either.

Me: No problem. I’ll be home.

David: Okay. I’m on my way then.

I got home with Kelvin, and we were chilling in the sitting room when David walked in. He looked gloomy, a bit rough, as though he had being suffering all the while we were not together. He greeted me and was (surprisingly) nice to Kelvin.

When it was time to sleep, I put David in one of the visitors’ room close to the sitting room, and I went to bed with Kelvin. I later left for David’s room after awhile, and we had very hot make-up sex. I left the room around 4am back to my room where Kelvin was, and thereupon slept off like a baby.

I woke up by 9am. Kelvin was still sleeping. I decided to go check up on David to see how he was doing. He was gone. And with him had vanished my Xbox 360, laptop, and two phones. I was shattered. I was outraged. How could I begin tracing him to recover my belongings? As familiar as I thought I was with David, it dawned on me that I’d never cared to find out where he was living. He’d invited me severally to his house, but I never honoured his invitations. This I presently regretted, because if I’d known his house, I’d have simply gone there straight away to nail him.

I was confused. I didn’t know what to do. I went back to my room to wake Kelvin, and I told him what happened. Upon querying the gateman and house boys, who saw him leave with the items, it was to find out that they hadn’t stopped him because they’d become familiar with him. Kelvin and I quickly piled into my car, and I drove out to find out if we could still meet him on the way. We didn’t. I was crazed with grief. I am a game freak, and the loss of my game-box was very painful. I swore I was going to get David no matter what. When my friends got to find out, a few of them told me of one babalawo, who they suggested I go see for payback. I went to see him, but when he told me what would happen to David, I was scared. However, I told him to go ahead with his operations.

Three months passed, and I eventually moved on. And then, one day, I was going through one of my notepads, when I saw a phone number. It happened to be David’s mother’s phone number. I remembered him jotting it down on the notepad a long time ago, when he wanted to call his mother with my phone to inform her that he wouldn’t be coming home that night.

Feeling instantly ecstatic, I called the number and it went through. When she answered, I confirmed her identity as David’s mother.  Then, I told her I wanted to come see her, and she agreed. I went with one of my friends to see her, and when we met, I told her what her son had done. She was so sad and disappointed, and told me how sick David had been for about three months. As she spoke, my mind flashed back to the babalawo and his fetish shenanigans. I wondered if what he’d promised had indeed worked with David. I didn’t meet her at home. She gave me her house address, and encouraged me to come around.

Three days later, I went to the house, this time with three heterosexual roughneck acquaintances of mine. I hadn’t told them the circumstances surrounding what happened between me and David; they simply knew that he stole from me. We got there and I was told to go and see David in his room. He looked terribly sick. I saw him looking quite wasted, and I pitied him. But I felt hurt, and I asked why he did what he did. At first, he seemed remorseful. He said he was pushed to do it by Tolu. (Remember him? The supplier of hookups) I was not too shocked to learn that; they were all a bunch of lowlifes. (But I liked lowlifes; you see my life? Lol)

Anyway, all I wanted at first was for him to truly apologize, and I would leave. But he quickly shed his remorse, and began insisting that I deserved what I got. He said he sold my stuff for small change. The Xbox that I bought then for 120k was what he’d sold it at Computer Village for a mere 16k. I wept inside of me as he threw that in my face.

Then I got angry. I was no longer willing to settle for his apology, supposing he was willing to give it. I told him he was wicked and demanded for my stuff back. He began shouting at me, in spite of his frail state. I also raised my voice and started serious drama. His family quickly swarmed us and began pleading with me to calm down. But David, knowing what he knew about us, stormed that I could do nothing, and told his family members not to beg me.

In no time, the situation escalated. My friends wreaked the drama out on the street. We used our vehicles to block the road, and before we knew it, we’d attracted a crowd of spectators. We insisted we wanted to take him to police station in my area. As we bundled him into my car, his parents called a police friend of theirs and implored him to come immediately to intervene. As we were about to drive away, the police descended and stopped us, saying we could only take him to a police station close by, which was the station where this friend of the family worked. We conceded.

When we got there, they asked what happened. I told them he stole my stuff and I wanted them back. They set on David with beatings and locked him up. Then, they told me to come back the next day.

I returned the next day with the hope that I was finally going to get some resolution in my favour. I was however in for the shock of my life. As I approached the front desk to ask about my case, I was pounced on and arrested. I wondered aloud what was going on, even as I noticed the policewomen giving me bad looks. I later found out David had confessed to his family and their police friend that I was gay and he used to fuck me for pay, and because I refused to pay him for a while, he decided to steal from me. Everyone believed him, and the hand of the law fell heavily on me. As I was getting locked up, I could hear the policewomen sneering at me with their abuses.

“See as he be, he no fit fuck woman. Na man yansh e fit fuck…”

“Some of them they use am do juju to get money sef…”

“The poor innocent pikin wey no know wetin him dey do, na im this foolish one come dey deceive am…”

“The pikin even talk sey na for everywhere for him house dem don fuck, him papa room, him mama room, visitor room, kitchen, toilet, everywhere! Chai! Tufiakwa!”

As I listened to all this, I knew I was in for it. After a while, I was summoned to the DPO’s office. They asked me if all David had said was true. Naively, I agreed, thinking my admission would make this all go away. The DPO was pleased I confessed. He told me to a write a statement. I did. My family must have been reached over the phone, because it wasn’t long before my father’s PA and some friends of mine started coming to the police station. I felt shame as they were informed of everything.

I was locked back up with David in the same cell. Our cellmates asked what our offence was, and I told them. To my surprise, they were on our side. They said what we did in the bedroom should have nothing to do with police. They also said I fucked up, that I shouldn’t have made it a police case. Anyway, that night, in the cell, David and I got our freak on with each other. (Sick, right? Lol)

The next day, a media crew was called and they took photos of us and told us to hold planks up with the words “We Are Homosexuals” written on it.

Long story short, my dad got to find out about everything. I heard he cried. He was really disappointed. I had to be bailed with about 300k, while David was bailed with 30k. The police had seen the car I drove to the station with, and saw an opportunity to exploit. I was later released and got home to face the wrath of my family. My mum was in tears. My brother looked unsure how to handle me. And my dad was furious, barking and roaring and lashing out at me. He made me write and sign an undertaking that if such a thing should repeat itself, he would be within his rights to disown me outrightly. My car was seized, and my account frozen. I was due to go do my Masters abroad, but that was cancelled. My parents feared I would get worse if I get overseas. My life quickly became a living hell, and remained so for some years.

Things are much better now. But the scar of what happened then still lives on in my house and family. I have accepted my fate and the new journey life has brought for me by my family’s knowledge of my sexuality. I am not even allowed to have male friends over in peace now without a few batting eyelids here and there. Something consequential happened and my father was prompted to out me to my extended family, home and abroad (story for another day).

What matters now though is that I am succeeding to be at peace with my life and sexuality.

Written by Teflondon

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