Hookup Interrupted

Hookup Interrupted

It started with me at home, bored, horny and just generally sexually frustrated. I decided to log into Grindr for a solution, and I came across a new profile, one I hadn’t seen on there before. I clicked on his bio to read and before I was done reading, he’d messaged me.

We started a good conversation, none of that “what’s your role” thing. We just chatted for a few hours and then exchanged pictures, and he was fine, like, when I say fine, I mean fine. He said his name was Ted. We exchanged numbers and switched to WhatsApp where I found out that we were actually in the same university.

As we chatted some more, he said he was bisexual, and that he was only bisexual because of marriage in future. This was when sense should have entered my head. But no. A combination of konji and a fine boy has a way of mucking up one’s access to common sense.

We planned to meet after one of my classes. This wasn’t supposed to be the actual hookup; the meet was just so we could meet to get to know each other a little better. So after the class, I went over to his lodge. He called and told me he was busy with something, and that he would be with me shortly. I stood about waiting for him for over two hours, getting more and more self-conscious the more I waited as people walking in and out of the hostel kept throwing me glances like I was homeless.

When he finally arrived, I was shook. The guy looked nothing like he was in his pictures. I mean, it was him, no doubt. But the pictures he sent had to be a major throwback, because that guy was slim and cute, whereas this person who had walked up to me with a friend had lost that cuteness behind all of his balding, pot-bellied appearance. I struggled with my disappointment as we exchanged greetings and he led the way to his room. He lived alone. The friend he was with came to pick up some things, and soon left.

As soon as Ted and I were left alone, we began making out. Yes, he may not have been cute as his pictures made him out to be, but I still had an itch to scratch. And besides, he more than made up for his lack of good looks with his making out skills. He was really good with the foreplay. But we could go no further, because it was already 6 pm and I had to go on home.

We met once more after that evening, but nothing happened. And then, he asked me over to spend the night at his place and I said okay. I was actually looking forward to it, but for some reason, the sleepover turned out to be a disaster.

I arrived at his place at 7 pm. We said hey, talked a little, and then the conversation died as we focused on our phones. It was like there was this sudden loss of chemistry, of interest to be with each other. As though we needed a third meet to realize that the spark of interest we’d felt the first two meets had really been just a fluke. A female friend of his dropped in, and they talked for a while. Then he asked her to please get some food for him. She left and came back a few minutes later with rice. He ate the rice while I sat there; he couldn’t even offer me anything. This was upsetting to me but I didn’t get into it. I was already starting to regret my coming over.

Later on, another friend of his came over and they had a conversation about family and responsibilities. And he was going on and on about his duty as the only male child and how he owed it to his family to make them proud. As I listened to him talk, I recalled what he said about being bisexual, and suddenly I began to wonder if that was actually his thing. If he was bisexual or simply telling himself the lie gay men need to tell themselves to justify their determination to conform with marriage to the opposite sex.

That friend left eventually, and we lapsed back into silence. Just two millennials who preferred their phones to the company of each other. And then, there was another knock on the door. It seemed like he was feeling too lazy to get to the door, and so it took a while before he got around to letting his visitor in. The visitor was his coursemate and upon getting inside, he joked, “I think say na you and somebody dey do something for inside.”

I had started to laugh at that when Ted retorted furiously, “Na how me and guy go dey do something?! I no be homo o! those people no go make heaven!”

For a moment an awkward silence settled in the room. I was both pissed and shocked. Even the coursemate appeared surprised by his outburst. It was becoming clear to me that this guy had issues of self-acceptance to deal with. I’d heard of internally homophobic gay guys, but this was my first brush with one. Because of what he said, I suddenly found him irredeemably distasteful. I could handle a guy who turned out to not be so cute as he was in his pics. Heck, I could even handle an ungracious host. But one who thinks like this, who speaks publicly of his community going to hell – that kind of man I can’t deal with. He suddenly seemed like the kind of gay man who would finish getting married and start talking down to single gay men about how they should settle down and stop carrying this “gay thing” on their head and how it’s “just a game”.

If it wasn’t already midnight, I would have left his place. However, I was done with him. And when we went to bed and he began trying to feel me up, I shut my legs tighter than Beyoncé’s braids. He tried to get into me but I kept saying no until he finally got the message. He let me be, and the next morning by 6, I was out, blocking his number and deleting him swiftly as I made my way home.

Written by Kole

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18 Comments

  1. Rehoboth
    September 16, 06:15 Reply

    Why do some gays feel the need to speak vehemently against the community when silence would gave suffixed?

    • Pink Panther
      September 16, 07:04 Reply

      I wonder about this too. It’s like they think mouthing off homophobic opinion will somehow convince the people around them that they’re not guilty of the crime of homosexuality

  2. Eddie
    September 16, 08:32 Reply

    So now do y’all see that most ‘homophobes’ are just self-hating jerks

  3. Higwe
    September 16, 09:12 Reply

    Unrelated…
    But there is this “straight ” guy that has been hounding me for BJ.
    Said he read somewhere that gay men gave the best BJ and he wants to confirm himself.
    The issue is that I’ve been seeing someone for a couple of months and to the best of my knowledge he’s never cheated.
    But this “straight ” dude is ridiculously hot, like I can’t even put it into words.
    All the signals in my brain are reading negative but my libido is acquiescing .
    Someone please talk some sense into me, Am I getting into something I could possibly regret ?

    * we’ve been friends since senior secondary school not cater -cousins though *

    • Mandy
      September 16, 09:45 Reply

      If you know you won’t feel bad after it or that your conscience won’t prick you, then by all means, go suck that dick. Who knows, you may add another hottie to our community when the guy realizes that inside a gay man is where his cock is supposed to be.

    • Francis
      September 16, 14:15 Reply

      Hot guys full everywhere that we wish we can can fuck without guilty. As you make your bed, you lie in it. Proceed as you wish and enjoy what comes next

    • Delle
      September 16, 14:32 Reply

      By all means, ignore Mandy’s input.

      There are so many cute, gay men. Straight guys should look for a mouth that has breasts inches down their necks and leave gay men the fuck alone!

      Can we all just hate those entitled bastards together already?

      You have someone you are interested in, all the more reason not to indulge that patronising freak of nature. Don’t do it.

      You’re better than that. Go and scratch your itch with your man or the gazillion gay hot men I’m sure you know exist.

    • Keredim
      September 16, 14:46 Reply

      Dude,

      Go suck the guys dick and see how you feel i the morning!!!

      YOLO!!

  4. Queen Blue Fox
    September 16, 09:24 Reply

    By God I’d have given him some reading in morning before leaving in the morning NONSENSE!

  5. Bisi
    September 16, 11:04 Reply

    You guys seem not to realize that we are in a country hostile to lgbt. What that guy did may be not be the best thing, but he was trying to deflect rumours around his sexuality. That would not have been enough for you to call it off. You could have been more cautious next time. Should the neighbour had caught you guys having sex, you would have been writing your kito story.

    • Pink Panther
      September 16, 14:38 Reply

      I’m sorry, but your comment is a big reach. First of all, I hardly think a joke from his coursemate about thinking he was doing something with somebody in his room would amount of a mob action. His friend joked. he should have kept quiet instead of mouth off nonsense about us going to hell. If I were his coursemate, that kind of vehement defensiveness would make me suspect him instead of convince me otherwise. Nobody put him at gunpoint to warrant him saying what he said.

      Secondly, how does this situation relate with the friend catching them having sex? They were in a locked room. So what has that got to do with anything?

      Also: “You could have been more cautious next time”? More cautious about what exactly? Did you even read the story at all?

      There is absolutely no excuse for one speaking trash about the gay community when you could simply keep quiet and say nothing! It is bad enough that we have homophobes daily speaking nonsense about us; we certainly do not need people in our community also throwing us under the bus.

      • Delle
        September 18, 11:11 Reply

        PP, no need stressing yourself. This one is obviously closeted with a thin film of IH around the iron bars.

        Mtcheew.

  6. Osiris
    September 16, 15:26 Reply

    This story reminded me of some dude I met on Grindr too. Dude unmasked his internalized homophobia the very first day we met to do the do, he was lying on my bed, with his dick all hard and me getting ready to hop on it, when he said “you need to be straight, this gay thing is not good, it won’t take you any where, I’m going to get married to a woman, you should too or just remain in the closet don’t come out”
    I should have sent him away after he said that,but konji is an undefeated bastard,we did it,but the next time he called me (cos i had blocked him on whatsapp) so we’ll hool up a second time,i told him to “fix himself”

  7. Patrick
    September 17, 02:31 Reply

    People suddenly remember heaven and hell when homosexuality is the subject, conveniently forgetting that there’s a multiplicity of sins which equally invoke eternal damnation.

    Hypocrites!

    And to think that he is gay… SMH

  8. Black Coffee
    September 17, 03:13 Reply

    Damn!!! Such outburst shaaa. Assweargad if I were the one, that minute I’m for.

    Such display, for what exactly???

    Acceptance???

  9. Sleek Creamy
    September 17, 17:12 Reply

    Hahahhhaahahaaha,
    Looks guys, i have seen a lot of this guys, they do this most often as defense mechanism , but behind the scene they are the gay lord #ogbologbo for the matter…
    That means the are still struggling with it.
    But the fool should have just muted his mouth…. 💅💅💅💅💅💅💅

  10. Limitless
    September 18, 09:54 Reply

    Firstly, the lack of fluidity in their conversation is is a turnoff for me. Secondly, he had no right to talk down on our community. He deserved a kick in his balls

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