I Sometimes Wonder About Love

I Sometimes Wonder About Love

I sometimes wonder about love…

Not the physical kind that flutters away with a warm, passionate night.

The other kind… That deep rush of emotions that sates you and then overwhelms you, that makes you more alive than you’ve ever been, all the while threatening to kill you if it’s ever lost.

I sometimes wonder about love…

I’ve been in love three times, like really been in love. And every time, it took with it a chunk of your heart.

Blood pumps out, courses through my veins, up the brain and there becomes fuel for long, drawn-out thoughts about that one person at whose behest all neurons now fire.

I wonder sometimes about the difference between love and obsession. I wonder if one can truly love another and not be jealous at the thought that you might lose them to someone else.

I wonder about losing one’s heart in love, that traumatic end to things with someone who meant the world to you, those scars that never heal, that heart that after a few breaks is more scar than muscle, incapable of feeling, numb to all the joy this world has to offer.

I worry that when you give all of your heart to someone and love dies, you never really get all of it back.

I worry about limbo, that land of nothingness one is condemned to work through while you piece back what’s left of that raggedy, torn heart.

I worry that gradually, but eventually, from heartbreak to heartbreak, you’re all loved out, an empty vessel numb to all the joy that lives out there.

How many heartbreaks does it take until the heart is no longer open to love, no longer ready to trust, no longer ready to dream of a happily ever after?

And how – how – can something that feels so good hurt so bad?

However, in the end, I’m certain that the joy is worth the pain. For to truly have loved and truly have been loved is to truly have lived.

Written by Fortune

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17 Comments

  1. Milez
    September 09, 07:36 Reply

    Lovely…there is a thin line between between love and obsession.
    All these guy would think love is when you give them an erection…oh well!

  2. Delle
    September 09, 09:24 Reply

    I wonder just how one can truly distinguish between being in love and being infatuated by someone’s persona. The lines are always vague. Never distinct.

    This entry is lit.

  3. Vhar.
    September 09, 09:55 Reply

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  4. Mitch
    September 09, 10:30 Reply

    This makes an awful lot of sense

  5. Someone
    September 09, 10:33 Reply

    Thought provoking. I can’t handle heartbreak. In my 30+ years on earth that is one thing I cannot withstand. My friends have to be loyal. Even though I’ve been with just 1 guy, the love I have for him seems more like an obsession. I sometimes wonder if I love him more than my wife despite his shortcomings. Don’t judge me. Life happens, shit happens… I never thought I’d fall in love with a guy

    • FJ
      September 09, 22:44 Reply

      Why compare ur love for him to that for ur wife?..they are never comparable. It takes more than “love” to love a guy

      • Delle
        September 10, 11:31 Reply

        Why does it take more than love to love a guy please? Is it not the same heart you use in loving a girl you love a guy with?
        What’s with you people and trying so hard to distinguish love because two sexes are involved? Sigh.

  6. Malik
    September 09, 14:00 Reply

    Love, lust, infatuation and the blurry lines that lie between.

    Used to think I knew what love was till I fell into it.

  7. trystham
    September 09, 17:32 Reply

    Just one took A LOT out of me to wanna experience heartbreaks upon heartbreaks. I wee just die.
    I wonder if the lasting pain overshadowing the joy that was felt initially is worth it

  8. Pankar
    September 10, 07:52 Reply

    A heart is not open, till its broken. – Anonymous

    Personally, I make a mental effort to love deeper than I did the last time. You know throw it all in until there’s nothing to give because well you said it ‘ to have truly loved is to have truly lived’.
    Then another tip for love ; I fight like a wounded lion for the one I love. It pays. At some point, they realize why its different with you and reverse and the good thing is you were waiting for that.

  9. Mandy
    September 10, 09:36 Reply

    The truth of life is to Love yourself, love other people, honour and treasure relationships, (even though some of those relationships won’t last for whatever reason) and enjoy life.

  10. Jo
    September 10, 12:34 Reply

    All these people that love love, and want to fall in love, where are they? are they on grindr, or badoo, or hornet? cos i’m yet to find that man that is willing to live. to stick to his one man. to live beyond the sex. Just where are they?

    *sigh.

  11. Gbade
    September 11, 10:14 Reply

    Until we learn to stop taking love as “that mushy feeling” we’d have all it all confusing.

    Love is a decision to be patient, to be kind, to not hold their wrong doing against them.

    Love is to give without knowing whether you’d get back I return.

    Love is a choice, not an easy one but when you love truly, unconditionally, you’d get back love 1000 folds!

    • Margaret Kelly
      September 12, 23:15 Reply

      I absolutely love this comment. There’s a difference between living love and loving someone; infatuation and being in love with someone.

      The thing for me is to find a way to accept that this has ended, by little fault of mine, and then find someone different, better.

      Cue in Beyoncé’s All Night

  12. Sheldon Cooper
    September 12, 13:41 Reply

    I wish there is a like bottom attached to comments. Meanwhile the picture above is giving my life.

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