IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW, KNOW IT NOW

IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW, KNOW IT NOW

I have a friend who got acquainted with a bank employee through work channels. Let’s call my friend X and this bank employee Judas. X works in a corporate institution, and as they got better acquainted, Judas began to push and prod for a chance to take on the account of X’s company. Now, whether Judas is gay or not is debatable, and even though X fancied him, he held back from pursuing anything romantic with Judas because of the formal nature of how they got acquainted. However, they were fast leaving the formal behind and becoming very informal with each other, judging from their increasingly chatty exchanges on WhatsApp. And yet, X kept his reserve, even though he admittedly gave off hints that he was into Judas.

X is not the straightest-acting gay man in the block, and Judas – gay or straight, and definitely unscrupulous – must have picked up on those hints and picked up on X’s probable gayness, because he set out to deliberately lead X on. During one of their conversations, when he was trying to get X to be more proactive in helping him land X’s office account, he said: “Please do this for me, X. Please. Why are you treating your baby like this? Do this for your baby.”

It was at this juncture, with this clear insinuation of intimacy, that X began to get more expressive of his intentions to get sexual with Judas, intentions that Judas encouraged. In fact, it got to the point where they were discussing about how to meet in a more informal setting, arranging their schedules to leave free a weekend to meet and get their freak on.

Eventually, due to circumstances beyond X’s control, the plan to get Judas his office account didn’t work out. But they stayed communicating with each other.

And then, Judas had a financial issue he needed X’s help with. His light bill. Could X help him out with some 10k so he could pay his electricity bill? X was into him and graciously lent him the money. It was a loan. Judas had in fact insisted that he would pay him back at a so-and-so date a few days later.

However, on that day, a Friday, Judas was unreachable. Phone ringing with no answer. WhatsApp messages getting read and not replied. He ghosted X all Friday. Saturday. Sunday. After which X, now understanding that Judas was gaming him, sent him a message telling him that he was clear on what was going on and that it was obvious Judas was not a good person, but that he would need him to pay him back his money.

Judas’s eventual response to that was: “You’re an idiot. You’re a very stupid person. You want to fuck your fellow man, eh? Come now. Don’t you ever call me again. If you ever call me, I’ll show up at your office with the police and make sure you spend the rest of your life in jail.

Just like that, a threat was issued where once there existed the promise of a hookup.

Judas followed up the threat with a WhatsApp block, and X was left in a quandary over what to do. This is where I was brought in on the situation. I was very mad, and every measure I suggested as a way of getting back at Judas was met with the brick wall of X’s trepidation.

“I don’t want this getting to my office,” he kept on saying with the countenance of a man torn between frustrated rage and grudging acceptance.

This story came on the heels of someone who reached out to me with the report of a guy who is on instagram with the handle @iam_shugawhite. This guy identifies as a model and apparently uses his attractiveness to gyp gay guys out of their money.

“I stay in Port Harcourt, but for me to come and see you, you’ll have to send me money for my transport,” is what I imagine he says to those who thirst after him.

The last guy he gypped had sent him money for his air fare, after which he was rewarded with a block.

It is unfortunate that we live in a society that enables this kind of roguery that goes on unpunished, where penalties can’t be pursued on behalf of the victim on account of the fact that to do so would threaten his welfare as a homosexual living in Nigeria.

In a civilised society, X would make Judas pay him back his money without having to worry so much about the crook getting back at him with the help of the police. (Imagine the irony there.) In a civilised society, scoundrels like Shuga White would be made to pay for their scams without any rebound of gay stigmatization on the victim.

But Nigeria is what it is: a melting pot of displaced priorities, normalized human rights abuse, and a skewed observance of what’s right and wrong.

The reason for this post is to create an awareness of evils like this. If you didn’t know, know it now. Do NOT let your thirst make you commit your money or status to any relationship that is basically just a hookup. If this person is a mere acquaintance and sex is all that’s there between you two, do not invest what you’ll regret giving up should things go south. Flight tickets to import market from Enugu to Lagos. Small loans to sweeten the heart of a potential hookup. Allowance for a mere shag to stay in your house in your absence. Whatever investment that is driven by your dick and not your heart, whatever seed you’re sowing into a relationship, new or not, that has no heart in it – should be a NO-NO!

If you cannot vouch for the character of the person you’re shagging or intend to hook up with, do not entrust him with your vulnerabilities.

Please, let us all be guided in our struggles and may Gay Jesus be with you.

Written by Pink Panther

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37 Comments

  1. Archer
    April 26, 06:45 Reply

    Gay Jesus? 😂 😂 😂.

    Not that I see anything wrong in lending a hand but to give someone money to come visit me, that I would never do.

    On the app, I met someone in a state away from mine and he was like “Send me money let me visit you ”.

    I was like wow.
    I wanted to block the idiot immediately but I had to give him a piece of my mind before I did.

    As for X and Judas, I want to say something like shey you have messages from your chats but I know if it’s me I won’t know what to do.

    In this country we live in, sometimes trying to act smart could also lead in some kind of deep trouble.

    Best of luck to all of us.
    Morning y’all.

  2. MGMHater
    April 26, 07:17 Reply

    99percent of IG fitness instructors or whatever they call themselves are call/runz boys. I daresay. Awon olosho kobo kobo

  3. Aladdin
    April 26, 08:33 Reply

    Gush I even know this shuga white he schools at UST
    What a waste

  4. KingB
    April 26, 08:52 Reply

    Reminds me of the dude I expressed my feeling to last around February. First thing he told me was that he needed a phone and that we would only get intimate at his own time.
    As usual, I was really gracious with my Block button. Morons!

  5. Peaches
    April 26, 08:54 Reply

    I am pained! This living conditions in Nigeria is a fucking nightmare!. This bastard led X!. He manipulated him, so if plans had not changed I cringe to know what he’d have done with that account. I learnt that men like Judas smell your fears and act on them, make puppets out of you, but I learnt to grab them by the balls should they come for me with that foolishness. If you can let go of your insecurities once in a while and fight mad, others will hide, yes, they’ll talk, but behind you.

  6. Mark
    April 26, 08:58 Reply

    Probably, the reason Judas was playing along with X was for X to get him his company’s account (whatever that means). When that didn’t work out, he showed him his true self. He would have still revealed his true self in any case, one way or another, sooner or later.

  7. Ken George
    April 26, 09:15 Reply

    There was a time I criticized gay guys who demand for money before or after sex, and someone here almost went all ballistic on me. Funny how the tables seem to be turning now. Every time u mix sex with money u reduce romance and true feelings to mere commercial business transaction. And the goal of every business transaction is to make profit and outsmart your partner at all cost. If u are not in a committed relationship, u have no business demanding for or accepting cash, whether for tfare or whatever ludicrous gimmick. Also to the other party, anybody who ask u for money before or after sex is a whore. And whores have nothing good to give. Period.

    But of cos, if u don’t mind being duped or humiliated, by all means, fold your brain under ur balls. Inugo!

  8. Audrey
    April 26, 09:25 Reply

    Since folks have learnt to take our simplicity for stupidity me I’ve learnt to beat them ar their own game and that’s why once you come on me for a favour knowing that I like you i come all out with the “What’s in it for Me Question”(Call me shameless all you want i don’t care) I do that to favours as low as #300,yes! you heard me right.
    We had better spelt out the terms and conditions from the very beginning to avoid either of us hurting at the end because I’ve seen it all and I’ve taken a stand to see no more. We should also learn to control our thirst too because I’ve come to realise this is the modern day Yahoo Yahoo of this Supposed Straight guys.Be BOLD,Be daring and you’d see most of this idiots flee from you.

  9. Steven
    April 26, 09:25 Reply

    How people fall for this send me money for transport nonsense, I never understand. Same dude, @iam_shugawhite, asked me for flight T-Fare, to come to Abuja. I have no problem with taking care of your transportation. however, I won’t send the money. I will pay for, and send you your return ticket. Whether you decide to use it or not is now up to you.

    However, he asked for help, saying he had an issue to sort, etc… And wanted a loan of 20k. One thing I have learned in life is never give out as loan, money you cannot forego. So I gave him 2k. I would have given him 10k if I believed his intentions to be genuinely genuine. But I would for no reason, have given him 20k, for any reason…

    Stay woke guys….

    By the way, @iam_shugawhite’s real name is Welenya White.

    There is also a @whytelion777 who you all should be careful of
    https://www.instagram.com/whytelion777/

    • J
      April 26, 14:39 Reply

      You gave him 2k instead of 20k? Stangi stingy 😂

      You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving. Some people are so stingy, misers -don’t push your partner into asking you for money – give them at will if you have… Unless if they’re too demanding, the money monger kinds. A person that doesn’t ask deserves everything.

      I once dated a white man on instagram. He was rich, well that’s if he wasn’t doing for the gram. I know I owe him nothing, but at least be reasonable. You have been chatting with someone for over 2 months and they’ve never asked you for anything. Can’t you be nice enough to surprise them? He was so stingy, but he can ask for nude pictures *nude pictures aren’t for sell*. But if you demand for something, be rest assured that something must be demanded from you in return especially if you’re trying to be smart.

      Sometimes, kind and generous people don’t get duped. If you claim you like someone, don’t borrow them money, give it to them when they’re in need. If they’re grateful enough, they’ll be there for you when you need them, but if they’re not, leave their big heads to Karma.

      • Steven
        April 27, 08:08 Reply

        J

        I am guessing that when the white man demanded money from you, you gave him. People like you are the reasons why wrong a lot of people dread going into a relationship. Since when did being you bf/gf or partner equate being your banker or loan facilitator?

        So because we have been dating or talking 2 months, I should turn to an ATM machine for you?

        I work for my money; go work for yours. And until I put a ring on your finger, I owe you no responsibility; not a roof over your head, not food, not school fees, not even clothes or a phone.. And you have no rights whatsoever, to expect them from me!!!

        • Pink Panther
          April 27, 12:10 Reply

          Even when you put the ring on it, unless there’s an understanding between you two, you don’t automatically the responsibility to take care of the other guy.

        • J
          April 27, 14:55 Reply

          LOL I don’t even like you. Me no want a stingy boyfriend. And for the record I’m not the too demanding or the materialistic type of guy… A guy that says my job, my this, my that is certainly not for me. Kiss your job and your money

          • Steven
            April 29, 20:21 Reply

            J

            I am glad you don’t like me. Trust me, the feeling is mutual. You are the demanding type, just, in your words not the “too demanding type”… People like you believe once you are in a relationship with the person, it is your right to have expectations on what he should give you… Too bad, go work for your money and stop depending on your bf.

            Now shut the door behind you.

            • J
              May 03, 02:48 Reply

              Men like you prefer working class persons, someone you can be benefiting from. I know your type too well.

              There are like five love languages:
              1. Words of affirmation
              2. Quality time
              3. Receiving gifts
              4. Acts of service
              5.Physical touch

              I understand, I speak all and I want all the five love languages 😂 So no one should be ashamed of receiving gifts, money and etc from their lover. It’s a love language and it’s valid.

              Steven come and shut your door, the handle is broken 🙄

  10. Higwe
    April 26, 14:04 Reply

    In a civilised society, X would make Judas pay him back his money without having to worry so much about the crook getting back at him with the help of the police. (Imagine the irony there.) In a civilised society, scoundrels like Shuga White would be made to pay for their scams without any rebound of gay stigmatization on the victim

    *Interesting*

    Civilized society like where ?

    Hope you are aware that in many civilized societies paying for sex is illegal .
    Which means that both parties (the payer and payee ) are legible to be punished under the law .
    Unless you’re suggesting an illegal means of recovering the money ,which technically defeats the whole purpose of your message .

    Mr X made the right decision forgoing the money …..

    What was he supposed to do ?

    Did they have a written agreement with parties representing both sides present as witnesses ?

    Does he have an audio recording of Judas actually asking him for the loan and agreeing to pay at a set date ?

    What proof does he have asides WhatsApp messages ( that could easily be doctored ) that Judas was infact asking for loan and not a remuneration for an intended hook up ?

    I honestly would have loved to hear the things you suggested to him that wouldn’t involve him unceremoniously outing himself or spending a lot more than ten K .

    This has always been a case of common sense versus common sex !

    Women have been conning straight men using sex since before Jesus was born .

    This is not about being gay or straight …this is about lust overriding intelligence .

    They were not coerced or forced to pay …they willingly agreed to it …. and god forbid the goods ended up not being delivered ,take it as a business risk and find a way to fix your mess .

    Don’t make this a problem of the gay community because it’s not !
    We have many problems to tackle .

    ________________________

    The Shugars of the world will keep thriving till gay men stop lusting shamelessly after muscles .

    A sexuality where the feminine ones are regarded as outwardly inferior and the fat ones are constantly fat shamed ….you wonder why the muscular ones you’ve placed on such a high pedestal keep scamming you people 🤦🏽‍♂️.

    You need to see some of the messages I get on IG
    Some of them are so disrespectful, and I can’t even voice out my complaints …because I’ll either land on instablog or Pink Panther …and someone will comment on how we slept together in 1960 😂

    Imagine if I started charging all those creeps whose first line of action is either sending you their dirty asses and dicks or brazenly demanding to see yours …..that means I’ll wake up one day to see my profile all over this page.

    Brethrens : we need to do better .

    ——————————–

    Take it from me that Walena is gay- hundred percent .
    I know this because I’ve smashed him and I didn’t pay nada (he’s a bottom BTW )
    It was borne out of mutual attraction.

    Desperation is dangerous …

    And humans are masters of preying on a perceived weakness .

    He may not have set out to scam the guy but he probably considered his options and decided it’s best he kept the money at hand.

    Steven raised very valid points …find someone you can have a seamless sex with or just invest what you can afford to lose because it’s always a fifty fifty probability.

    _———————————

    And muscle guys will never stop charging for sex …
    Building and maintaining muscles is not an easy task .
    Some supplements (whey protein) cost an upward of 30k , combine that with paying for gym membership and then eating all the necessary “rights ” and you’re looking at 60k or more in three to four months .

    To maintain those features you people go gaga for nobi beans …

    Either mind your options or open your wallet …..for every shugar there’s a salt 😂😂.

    • Audrey
      April 26, 22:18 Reply

      You sabi write Epistle no be small.Not every issue raised here needs an expantitiated explanation(Pity us the readers at times nah).

      Don’t take it in a bad way but there are times less is actually more.

      • Higwe
        April 27, 21:07 Reply

        No offence taken man .

        You have every right to your opinion.

        Hopefully you’ll extend the same courtsey to me ….and the length it will take (literally ) for me to express mine .🙏

        Happy weekend .

    • Mario
      April 27, 04:12 Reply

      Comment is true to some degree. But you’ve done badly talking about your sexual history with the person.

      • Higwe
        April 27, 21:20 Reply

        Stupidly I thought I was actually defending the guy 🤦🏼‍♂️
        *trying to establish he’s actually gay *

        Now I’ve re-read my comment ,it’s all kinda cringe 😂😂

        I’m such an ass !

        I apologise if you took offence ….wasn’t my intention .

    • Decibel
      April 27, 08:57 Reply

      Higwe, you must think you are a behavioral expert on gay attitudes. Did you read the part where it was clearly stated that it was a loan specifically for Judas’ electricity bill? How is that payment for sexual favours?

      Are you aware Whatsapp has e2e encryption? This means only the parties to the communication can see messages sent there except there’s a local breach of security. An internet security expert can easily validate the authenticity of X’s claim against Judas. Please desist from making statements that expose your lack of depth on issues regarding technology.

      It was absolutely unnecessary to say you ‘smashed’ that low level criminal and that he’s a bottom. That seemed to lean into the narrative that bottoms are lesser. Bragging about your real and imagined sexual conquests and physique suggests you are making up for dreadful inadequacies.
      Please be humble.

      • Delle
        April 27, 15:29 Reply

        *drops mic with utmost contentment*

        • Audrey
          April 27, 22:27 Reply

          Delle I saw what you did there and it would be nice of you to apply restraints where and when necessary no matter how tempted you are to say certain things.

          I like your online persona like I stated the other day but please don’t give me the need to look you through my side eyes.You are a good person and I know deep inside of you it’s possible to apply maturity where necessary.Now Promise me you’ll be a good boy henceforth

    • mike
      May 01, 11:20 Reply

      Mehn, can I hug yhu? . Finally someone gets it.
      I use think kitodiaries , is a place where people get emotionally queer or something.

      Still not an advocate for sex for cash, I think its demeaning to both parties.
      I want yhu because of who yhu are ,not what yhu have to offer. Sex is not something yhu offer or exchange, cause it’s immaterial, born out’of mutual love and attraction. That is why it is demeaning, yhu just reduced yhurself to a material, purchasable.

      But I dig this line from your comment
      “Building and maintaining muscles is not an easy task .
      Some supplements (whey protein) cost an upward of 30k , combine that with paying for gym membership and then eating all the necessary “rights ” and you’re looking at 60k or more in three to four months ”

      Yhu have to understand that , that sex idol has a life, has a job, has a routine vias is human. Basically you treat a person lik’a sex material, a wank mannequin, then you deserve to be treated lik’a ATM.

      You want someone that knows his/her value, enough to know yours. Value when it come to humans is immaterial, that is why money hardly solve really issues, it just makes it bearable.

      The line between this things, is hardly notice, I like a person sexually and emotionally, enough to want to make life bearable for them, vias financial help. I don’t think there is any amoùnt of money, anyone can give you, that will solve all yhur problems.
      But I will never offer cash for sex, bros. I don pass that level, it is beneath me, the mere insinuation of it means a person is beneath me.

  11. J
    April 26, 14:58 Reply

    I’m not supporting all these criminal guys, but I noticed most of them are good looking enough to dupe their victims.

    I can imagine them saying ” You like chicken soup and you don’t want to drop money? Where’s that done?” 😉

    🎵You ain’t talking money just chill, don’t point what you can’t kill… Porsche Panamera- Madrina (Cynthia Morgan)🎵

  12. Maycakes
    April 26, 16:53 Reply

    Ah Steve 2k inside 20k 😂 😂 😂 😂 jesu.. ah u strong

  13. Sinnex
    April 26, 18:47 Reply

    Reading the comments here, one would think that gay guys don’t owe people money and refuse to pay.

    It would be nice if we all practice what we preach.

    I am sorry that X had to experience this, because I have experienced the same thing. Someone would come out of the blues to ask for money to take care of a pressing issue, when you try and help them out, they would refuse to pay. You keep sending messages and the messages won’t be read, not to talk of replied.

    I think it is time for us all to start practicing what we preach. Do not ask for money and refuse to pay back. It is not fair. If you cannot pay back, then try as much as possible to explain why you are unable to pay back.

    We might just have to start naming and shaming.

    Even if the money is 1k or 2k, as long as you collected the money with the promise of paying back, then you just have to pay back.

  14. Olatunji
    April 27, 03:14 Reply

    Judas is an ass! and a cheap one. He’s a stupid fella.

  15. Obiora
    April 28, 02:22 Reply

    In addition to what Decibel opined, Higwe wrote

    “Hope you are aware that in many civilized societies paying for sex is illegal”

    I don’t know specifically what civilized societies he’s talking about, and I couldn’t really bother about that long epistle, but that part really stuck out because there’s absolutely nothing in the above-referenced post that points to an activity of “commercial sex” of which the basis of a transaction has and/or will occur, thus invoking the illegal prostitution clause.

    And IF I may, there’s misrepresentation and misinterpretation in this statement. When you talk of sex [free will] and illegality [breaking the law], then we’re purely looking at this from the lenses of commercial sex and the law of “civilized societies”. Please allow me to point this out.

    Commercial sex can be looked at as: Commerce and Sex. Commerce is an act of “engaging” in trade of buying, selling or exchange of goods. So in other words, there’s an “intent” to engage or transact in the selling of sex services of which forms the basis of illegality.

    By this reasoning,

    The Misrepresentation here is that: the one requesting the service (Mr. X), if any, is not committing the crime, though he can be viewed as a party to the crime, but the one offering the sex services, that is, the one for which the basis of a trasanctiom must occur (Mr. Judas) is the one committing the crime. This is why prostitutes are picked up and not their clients unless there’s something deeper going on. I dont even want to go deeper into what constitutes “transaction” because this is how clients are free and clear.

    From the perspective of,

    Misinterpretation: I believe you misinterpreted the “paying” aspect of the law because an exchange or a transaction must first occur. And in the simplest of terms: a transaction is between two or more parties; for which there is an agreement verbally or in writing, for the exchange of goods/services with an acceptable level of consideration (which in this case is money), for which must be executed in a place (which is deeply defined by law). For instance, when you haggle price with a market woman, until both of you have agreed to a price AND you have paid, a transaction hasn’t occurred.

    Same rule applies: even IF Mr. X repeatedly haggled price with Mr. Judas for exchange of sex, this is too vague under the eyes of the law to constitute a transaction. Even if Mr. X repeatedly offered money to X via writing, via text message or whatsapp, there’s no action of transaction and therefore, is baseless. The only “monetary” transaction that occurred was a loan (transaction) for which Judas promised (agreement) to pay back within a specified period of time.

    Regardless of how Judas spins this wheel, this is clearly a loan borne out of a “perceived” relationship between both of them. Speaking of intent and transactions, it’s obvious that Judas from the onset, had an intent to mislead and then defraud. First, he wanted to use Mr. X’s beyond-a-formal relationship to win over or rather, influence decision to bring over his company’s account, and when that failed, he skimmed his way to defraud.

    If it were genuine, the moment that transaction failed, the “formal” communication should have ceased. However, this communication carried on to the point of making plans for both to meet. As soon as he got a paltry N10k, as in $30, he ceased communication, only for him to come back saying “so you want to fuck your fellow man”.

    Clearly, for him to boldly write “fuck your fellow man”, thier conversation had peaked to a new level of comfort, and IF Judas did not consent to the “fuck” situation when the conversation was hot and ongoing, that relationship would have terminated after the failed transaction. Meanwhile he’s been a party to that transaction, so therefore, it’s either he’s gay or a fraud or a garaud [figure it out].

    If I were in Nigeria, oh he’s gonna pay that money. The Nigerian gay community needs to empower themselves and study the law because, impostors like this guys need to be behind bars. Bad things happen when good people do nothing about it. If I were in Nigeria, or was representing Mr. X, Judas is definitely gonna pay up or I will see to it he spends some time cooking off in jail. Ala ga agba ndi ala.

    • Dimkpa
      April 28, 21:58 Reply

      I learnt a lot reading this. You obviously know your stuff. Thanks.

    • mike
      May 01, 11:32 Reply

      Well said, but I wouldn’t hassle a guy over 10k, by your conversion $30. I believe you will lose more that triple that, while hassle. Now for 100k, hmm oya the heavens must open.

      X shud just let it slide, lick his wounds. Something like. Clearly a loan but a loan where you would have to lose more to recover it back, is not a loan but na dash.

  16. Emrys__
    April 28, 03:12 Reply

    Good to know….. Indeed.
    Truth be told, I’m so much into Macho guys. But I always count n thank God for one gift bestowed on me. That I usually smell a rat frm Afar. I just ignore such with no Block or the likes n move on.
    There r millions of D**ks n Macho Gay guys out there…,I am very optimistic bout that.

  17. mike
    May 01, 11:45 Reply

    I think a safe bet for issues like this, is asking yourself if the said object of your fantasy, would be into yoù without any financial constraints or benefits. Like are you the person’s type, blah blah blah.
    You have a business getting in bed with someone who is not attracted to you! physically, if you do and intend to, its obvious you are a mugu, a client, yhu require a service and should be billed.

    If a person likes you, they will dance upside down on a palm tree for you, congi / horny-ness works both ways, no be only you get prick.

  18. Julian
    May 03, 17:45 Reply

    Oh dear.
    I just realized Ive been duped.
    I sent this Shuga White money on 3 occasions. I sent a N10k, a N5k and a N5k to tide him over for a weekend. I
    liked him but wasn’t anticipating an immediate hook up but I did expect we would in time. And then, on a weekend that I was eventually available, he was unreachable throughout knowing that I was waiting for him. Eventually, it was apologies and phone got lost. I was thinking of replacing it soon for him when I read this. Am not torn. Am not mad. Just thinking how mighty stupid I am.

    • Steven
      May 19, 13:29 Reply

      He still claims to be a medical student. I literally chat him up on a daily basis. I’m at a loss as to how to bring this to his notice. But I noted he has deleted his IG profile. Either that, or he has a new one.

      Funny how his WhatsApp do is of him wearing boxers with his dick print showing. Guess that’s d number he gives out. I have 2 other number of his, he used them to call me sometime, when I promised him some money which I never delivered on

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