JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 5)

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 5)

Blog_KD JournalJune 20

I’ve got a crack on the screen of my Note 3…one long, slightly-curved crack scarring my precious phone. The funniest part is that I dreamt about something like that happening the night before it happened. I should have gone to meet a babalawo to provide protection for the phone.

I tried searching for phone insurance in Nigeria. We don’t have that…

School has resumed for a while now…

One of the perks of resumption is that I finally get my own place. It’s not shabby… nice tiled floors and my own kitchen and bathroom. I just wish I knew what exactly to do about making it look homey. It’s like the “creative home decorator” part of being gay was omitted from my genetic makeup. I’ll hardly use the kitchen too… I’m too lazy to cook.

I also get to be reunited with my guitar. I was squatting with my aunt for a while because I was under internship in my school’s farm for a few weeks and I needed a place to stay. I wasn’t eager on carrying my guitar along because I was worried I would break it (I’m a klutz like that). My fingers are a bit blistered but they’ll toughen up. I also tried a hand at writing a song, and I must say I’m pleased with the result. (pats self on back)

I often day dream about being a singer… hearing crowds roar my name and shii. In the bathroom, I don’t just sing. I perform and even end the whole thing with “Thank you, New York! You’ve been a wonderful audience!”

Then I get to meet all those cute handsome celebrities I see on TV and finally confirm rumors about some of them.

But other times, I like my quiet life. People not being all up in my business cause I’m a very private person. Also not sure how I would be able to deal with the haters but I’m getting some training now (mischievous grin)

I’ve been jamming Give Me Love from Ed Sheeran’s album… its positively fantastic if you’re into his kind of music. And he writes his own songs… and is besties with Taylor Swift. I’d have a crush on him if he didn’t remind me so often of a hobbit.

I also downloaded the soundtracks from Little Mermaid. I remembered that I liked them so much when I was younger and felt a bit nostalgic, so I decided to see if they still sounded as nice as I remember. They did. Lol… I’ll probably watch the movie again. I’m just a bit irritated with the whole “and they lived happily ever after” theme with Disney movies. Like I grew up and realised it was all a lie.

So some days ago I went to see a friend of mine. His name is Greg and we got to gisting and stuff about how we spent our vacations and how we hoed away (mostly him sha… He was in Lagos after all)

Then I remembered something I was meaning to ask him for a while.

Last session when I was enjoying a meal, I got a call from a friend of mine to come to his room. I obliged since there was nothing else I was doing. It was during my rough patch with John, so I wasn’t running to my room to do anything. I guessed he wanted us to shag and I was in the mood to say ‘No’ to him because I can be a prick tease like that sometimes.

I got to his room and knocked. He opened the door, and as I entered, my eyes fell on some guy perched at his reading table. The guy was light-skinned, too light skinned for my taste, and he had those permanent duck lips you see girls do when they want to take selfies. Overall he was not someone I’d want to fuck or be fucked by. I was inclined to make a hasty departure but I felt it might be a bit rude.

Pleasantries were exchanged and I was informed that the guy’s name was Tunde. He told me he was going to be attending the university when the new session opened and he had come from Lagos to Ibadan to do some registration stuff. We talked for a while, which was why my friend brought me around – to babysit while he was off doing some project assignments. Fuckable or not, I like to make friends, so I was nice and polite, and even showed him to my hall where we exchanged numbers and he left. Thereafter, we chatted a few times on Whatsapp, me just trying to be polite, you know.

Weeks passed and I went to say hi to Greg, and was scrolling through a conversation of his with some Bobby guy on his phone, and my name comes up. The Bobby guy is asking after me, and how I am, and when last Greg saw me.

“Greg! Who is this Bobby now, ehn? I told you not to mention me to anyone na!” I was pissed. It was around the period of the anti gay law brouhaha, and the fervent paranoia that was broiling around it had also gripped me.

Greg snatched the phone from me, saying how he had always told me to stop reading his conversations. Apparently, the Bobby guy was in the university and was claiming he knew me, but I didn’t know him. Lol, celebrity tinz.

Seriously though, I was uncomfortable with it. News travel fast in the TB community, but it is disturbing to have people know you when you don’t know them. And there I was thinking I was doing a good job of being under the radar.

I asked for a picture and when I was shown one, I exclaimed, “Is this not Tunde?” Same complexion, though it had been filtered to make him look tan, but he still had those duck lips.

Greg told me he knew the guy as Bobby not Tunde, and that I must be mistaken because Bobby was already a student of the university. I wanted to ask questions, questions directed at the Bobby guy, but Greg begged me not to, since I supposedly wasn’t supposed to know that the Bobby guy knew me. And Greg was interested in dating Bobby, so I decided not to spoil a brother’s runz. Still I could smell the drama from miles away and it would be best to avoid it.

Weeks passed, and the holidays came, and I did my internship and school resumed. Tunde beeped me to tell me he was in school. Good for him. But then, I remembered that he could also be Bobby, and have been telling me lies all this time.

So what I remembered to ask Greg was if he had any new info.

He did. They finally met, and Tunde turned out to be Bobby. Shocker, that one, right? I asked Greg if he knew Tunde-Bobby’s motives for lying, and Greg said he didn’t know. Then he clapped his hands and said, “I have gist for you. But you must promise to never act on what I’m going to tell you.”

I agreed.

“That Bobby or Tunde or whatever is name is has been saying he’s been shagging you.”

“Padin?!”

Lol. I was just surprised and a lot irritated. I wouldn’t touch the guy unless money was involved – and a huge sum it must be (I can be bought… sue me).

Till now, I don’t know his motives for that lie. I just don’t get it. I’m not very clear, but Greg tried to explain it to me, and it was full of drama and boyfriend issues and stuff, and I didn’t want to be dragged into it. I’m also really, really mad at the Tunde-Bobby. This is what I get for being nice? What if the boyfriend is jealous and is friends with an army commander who sends boys to beat me up so that I will leave his property alone, hmm?

What is it with these lies sef? Too much drama. Too many stories flying around. Too many people talking. Ayayayayai!

That’s how I found out from one of my exes that the ex of the first person I had sex with said his ex said we dated before. (Does that even make sense?)

Sure, the guy asked me out hours after we were done and I refused politely. Then he pestered me, and I became harsh, and he started to cyber-stalk me until I had to open a new Facebook account. Seems as though he wanted a relationship with me so bad he started to make one up in his head. Lol.

I feel I should be a bit flattered. But I’m not. Maybe if these people were heartbreakingly good looking or celebrities or something really substantial (is that too much to ask?), I wouldn’t mind. I’d probably even try and make their dreams come true… lol.

Well… that’s about that.

So many more stuff happened this week, but I’ll put a stopper on this entry, until when next I get the writer’s bug. Maybe tomorrow, who knows. . .

Written by James

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46 Comments

  1. Lothario
    June 22, 06:29 Reply

    Oh gosh! The ex’s ex……..drama. That chain is ridiculously long…lmao! But it’s always the issue especially when you’re nice to people, they claim to have slept with you. My last relationship ended because my boyfriend’s mate described my dick to him. Boyfriend refused to believe I hadn’t had anything with him. I wasn’t even in the mood to deal with that foolishness……
    Nice entry all the same….keep working on being a star.

  2. Chizzie
    June 22, 06:44 Reply

    First off . Good Morning James and I hope you are having a pleasant Sunday so far? After reading your post, I decided to check the dictionary to ensure I was using the right word. Here is how my dictionary defines “Rambling”

    Rambling : To go from one subject to another without any clear purpose and direction.

    so it turns out I was.

    I also took the time to check the exact meaning of a journal ( I have nothing doing today) . it defines a Journal as

    : A record of experiences, ideas, or reflections kept regularly for private use 

    so here’s my bit of constructive advice, yes this is a journal, and typically journals are intended for private use which eliminates the entertainment factor, but this is a PUBLIC blog, that attracts possibly hundreds of readers daily. So can you adapt your journal for a public audience? Make it more readable, in plain words more interesting.

    Nigerians daily risk spending 14years in jail by opening this blog and the last thing they want to read about is The Little Mermaid and a description of a tablet screen crack.

    • KingBey
      June 22, 07:16 Reply

      Thank you. The rambling today was just too much….am greatly loosing interest in he puts up here

    • Dubem
      June 22, 07:40 Reply

      I looked up the synonyms of ‘Off-Putting’ in my thesaurus, and what do you know, I saw ‘Chizzie’ there. Guy, stop using your interest (or lack of it) on these entries as a yardstick for the rest of us. Some of us actually love reading what James has to say.

      @James, I know you might be tempted, due to bad comments, to spice up the gist and adulterate what really goes on in your life with what didn’t. But don’t. We get all the scandalous narratives from Pinky’s Love And Sex. Your journal is a refreshing change in pace. Keep it up.

      • Chizzie
        June 22, 08:58 Reply

        I’m not going to argue abt how “off putting” isn’t even a word; last I checked, my opinion is just that- An Opinion, My own; it isn’t the general consensus and it most certainly isnt a yardstick; You shouldn’t be bothered abt what one person thinks about something esp about something you like. if you find my opinion “influencing” ur preference or a yardstick; then that would make u a very weak willed person.

    • JustJames
      June 22, 09:19 Reply

      Thanks for the bit of constructive criticism. I can’t tell people what’s going to be interesting for them. I see some people here say how the journal is very nice and others say it sucks.

      Here’s my bit of advice: if you really don’t like what you’ve been reading so far there’s really no need to open the link when you see it. But if you decide to be a masochist by reading my ramblings when they are an obvious pain in the ass then it’s your funeral.

      I hope you have a wonderful Sunday. I sure am enjoying my own. *sips coffee*

    • trystham
      June 22, 09:21 Reply

      Yawn!!!!! You again??? You are so predictable, u r becoming boring…you’ve always been. I wonder why its bugging me today sef?
      I can’t also shake off this feeling you want Jamesey here to write off a ‘straight’ piece so you could go somewhere else to pass it off as yours and put some pointy reminder at the end why ppl shouldn’t breathe through the mouth because Chizzie doesn’t. While unknown to us, Chizzie has Halitosis.

      • Chizzie
        June 22, 09:43 Reply

        ok trystham or what is it; iv never really been bothered about your comments, because and (this is me putting it nicely) : you look like scum ; my definition of scum is : local, underfed, poor. You are someone I would be extremely ashamed to even have as an acquaintance.

        I showed your Twitter icon to a group of friends and we had a good laugh, thanks for humoring us.

        PS : Eat more food pls.

      • trystham
        June 22, 09:58 Reply

        Ahhhh!!!! You read in pictures and numbers, not words actually. I guess its why u r stating what is OBVIOUSLY written. I’d be a drool oozing wreck in 30 secs if we managed to cross paths on the street. I imagine you and your pals were laughing in slow-mo-ha………………..ha*hiccup+spit*……….ha
        What a bunch of idiots

      • Chizzie
        June 22, 10:05 Reply

        You made no sense as usual. I’m just saying, the time and effort u spend on hating someone who thinks very lowly of you; put at least some of that time in the betterment of ur outward appearance. Take care and have a nice day.

      • trystham
        June 22, 11:03 Reply

        #sigh Of course it wouldn’t make sense to you. There’s no explaining I can do that would make sense to you. You get the drool part shey? I hope you do. Ur particular brand of idiocy is infectious.

        I really do not care what you think of MY body. Yeah, time and money will correct that. Your mind is a hopeless case. More money and time is a waste of resources.
        Nobody blames you for not being a good writer as James, Innovative as the Pink Panther to have this blog, Ugly-skinny-but-has-a-life like me…but u don’t have to shove ur bitterness in our faces. If its that bad, borrow a knife from one of your Mgbekes n kill yourself. Thats one less hater to worry about

        P.S Grow up or Die out.

    • Stephen
      June 22, 22:10 Reply

      What a shame Chizzie, that you feel because you have an ‘opinion’, or the right to ‘speak whatever’, you can use your words to convey animosity and take shots at people u kindly. I really thought you had changed when I started reading the first sentences of your comment, but as usual, the green snake in the green grass, will always reveal it’s true nature. Let me tell you what is wrong with you.

      You seek attention. Though I do not known it you got adequate from your parents, it’s very distasteful that you feel the need to be constantly stupid, and effortlessly irritating.

      I tried, truly I did to hold my tongue, but your insecurity is adamant to shine in the spotlight, and I’ll give it the appropriate attention by stooping to the level of a mere ant, and putting you in your place. Now you’re going around looking for meanings to words and what not, but hiding behind a keyboard to be a cyber-bully. I almost feel sorry for you, because I believe this foolishness that you elude, is psychological.

      You just need to be loved.

      Look at wrote you wrote the other day(and I’m not teasing you because I know that H.I.V is not a joke), and you think you’ve what? Made it big? Written something interesting? Honey, take several seats. James writes what comes to his mind, and things that affect us innate, and you want to come and be forming what? I’m sure you are just a skinny rat with nothing but dicks to be are for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, while continuously feeding off being a disgusting mean ass heifer.

      One last thing. It is clear you enjoy James’ posts, if not, you will not be coming back to see what he writes. Have a nice day, and God bless you.

      P.S: Hope you don’t shed too much tears while reading this. We wouldn’t want your friends that you were laughing with to think you’ve gone bonkers. Toodles!

  3. anonymous
    June 22, 07:04 Reply

    @Chizzie waka pass anytime u see James’ journal eh? No come spoil market for other ppl wey dey enjoy am.

    This is my second fav topic (second only to sex and the city). I ramble a lot so I get James and his writing style. It’s real. So Chizzie beat it.

    When I saw that guitar part…I remembered a guy then during nysc who always came to my cds from his each cds day. We’d stay on a bench outside and he’d play a song for me on his guitar. Music is my life, I was into his music and still I don’t get how I was so clueless abt the wat he felt abt me (I can be that blind). It was after nysc he told me by then we were states apart and well, my eyes got open to all d signs I shudnt v missed. Or maybe I chose to be blind dunno, still not into the whole tb ish like dat…I’m more like bicurious or so, wateva dat means. Oh well…

    Nice write up James and I get ur every post. Keep it up
    @James I need ur twitter handle oooo

  4. Dubem
    June 22, 09:12 Reply

    @Chizzie, oh I’m a very okay person. Certainly not the one with a lousy personality.
    And you think Off-Putting isn’t a word? Ha! Someone is apparently not as literate as he’d have us all believe. Gurl, toss your dictionary and go get yourself an updated one.

  5. Lanre Swagg
    June 22, 09:22 Reply

    James, as you can see , SimonBrianCowell is into you . You must be something right.

    Can’t say the same for him/her, having not done a lot of original writing we can judge from, apart from that almost-journal about getting infected with HIV in his/her dreams.

    Reminds one of spat between Nikki Minaj and Mariah Carey – everyone was like, Nikki who?

    • trystham
      June 22, 09:30 Reply

      Jisox!!!! You saw and felt it too? I was becoming unsure in my blind hate. I have focus now…lol

    • pinkpanthertb
      June 22, 09:34 Reply

      HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! I genuinely absolutely found this hilarious. Kai! Lanre, who knew you had it in you to be so stinging?

  6. trystham
    June 22, 09:28 Reply

    Somehow though, that extended relationship of ‘one of my Ex’s ex boyfriend’s ex’ doesn’t help me not think that once you’ve slept with one, you’ve slept with all in this our community.

  7. Lothario
    June 22, 10:03 Reply

    Oh please! If you’ve been sexually active for over 5 years, chances are that you’ve been with a long chain of connected people either knowingly or unknowingly.
    Chizzie come on! Lighten up! I know how much you’re dying to be a sweetheart, but you’re scared people won’t notice you. Honey, people will. First of all, your thick booty will always get you all the attention you need…just lie down and open up. Just remember to insist on a condom this time.

    • pinkpanthertb
      June 22, 10:07 Reply

      He is doing a good job of standing out in all the glory of his acerbity. It would be a shame if he did otherwise. I find myself constantly vacillating between exasperation, annoyance and amusement with his caustic comments. It’s a wonderful way to feel each time I check out the comments section of every update. Lol

  8. keredim69
    June 22, 11:03 Reply

    Does anyone else feel the sexual tension between James and Chizzie? (Albeit only coming from Chizzie’s side)

    Yes James rambles on but he is coherent and it is his writing style. To some of us it is endearing, the same way someone out there might find your acerbity endearing.

    Chizzie its obvious you are well read and intelligent and feel the need to use your intelligence to put others down.

    But how intelligent are you, when you go out to get fucked by a stranger and don’t carry a condom with you? Haba!!

    So James, keep doing your thing….Haters will always hate

    • pinkpanthertb
      June 22, 11:11 Reply

      Sexual Tension. Between James and Chizzie. LMAO!!! Keredim, you’re hilarious.

        • pinkpanthertb
          June 22, 14:18 Reply

          Which one is Eww? You dont know if James is hot and can screw you with the same aggressiveness that that your Abuja man did you the other time, do you? 🙂

  9. CeeCee
    June 22, 12:03 Reply

    Chizzie doll, like I v been saying, ain’t no need to act like a bitch who’s got a tampon stuck up her pussy, you can pass ur message across without being a nauseating bitch, but then I do agree with you, James journal is an excellent case study in the art of mindless, mindnumbing ramble which ends in head scratching and more head scratching … reminds me of a journal of my everyday activities which I kept in my teens and which I guarded jealously because it was private! In the realm of privacy is where this belongs!

  10. pinkpanthertb
    June 22, 12:31 Reply

    Okay, we’ve established that James rambles. We’ve also established that some people don’t like it. Can we not get repetitive please. We should start talking about the content in each entry. Gist it up. Treat these entries like a fellow kitodiariesian gisting us something.
    Like this Tunde-Bobby fella…what could his motives have possibly been? I mean, I know lying is second nature to most TBs, but nawa o, there are lies that no longer seem to make sense. It just feels as though the liar is telling them by rote. Automatically.
    And yea, the Nigerian gay sex pool and dating community is really quite thin, so there’s always the chance that you have had sex with someone who has had sex with someone who dated some other person who has had a fling with this other person who has had a quickie with the guy you are currently seeing. Lawd knows I’ve had my share of OhMyGod-do-you-know-this-guy moments

    • JustJames
      June 22, 12:37 Reply

      I swear!! I have a friend whose name comes out if the lips of the most unlikely people. The height of it was a random hookup and the guy goes “I’ve been in love once. It was with a (insert profession here)”

      I ask who and it’s that same person. Almost fell out of my chair laughing.

      • pinkpanthertb
        June 22, 12:41 Reply

        He does get around. lol. This creates a tendency for some people to be termed sluts, simply becos they always seem to have been intimate with almost everyone you have been intimate with. But while you’re casting stones, it’s best to consider that there are other peeps out there encountering those you’ve slept with, and that your name just might be dropping all over other places. 🙂 Not you specifically, James. i’m generally speaking.

    • trystham
      June 22, 12:52 Reply

      Its terrifying for me. I remember deleting two friends on BBM. Not because I could have lied to either of them and didn’t wanna be caught in my lies, but for the fear that my bedmatiques-poor or otherwise, would be subject of discussion at every gathering. Its kuku established that gay guys can talk. Blackmail no dey too far from situations like that.

      • trystham
        June 22, 12:58 Reply

        Embarrassingly, I can meow like cat and coil like wire when the D is just right…and SCREAM when its not.

        • pinkpanthertb
          June 22, 14:08 Reply

          Hehehehee!!! scream when the D is not right? Won’t that be sending another kind of signal to the owner of the D? Signals like you’re enjoying the heck out of the not-right D? 🙂

      • trystham
        June 22, 14:15 Reply

        Laugh all you want, but a not-right D earns screams NOT squeals. The ppl of the house will check on us if I scream.

        • pinkpanthertb
          June 22, 14:16 Reply

          Hahahahahahahahaaa!!! Trystham, your own slut no get part 2.

  11. sensuousensei
    June 22, 15:28 Reply

    What I find amusing is how chizzie somehow manages to get all the attention when someone else took pains TO WRITE SOMETHING. Please this should end oh!
    Chizzie, biko this James is a human being. Haba! You are too caustic. If you don’t like his articles, just don’t read them. He didn’t sign up for your lectures on writing. Haba!

  12. sensuousensei
    June 22, 15:35 Reply

    @James: you are doing well. This was better than the last in terms of organization. A journal entry can be rambling but it is supposed to make an art of rambling. There shd be this natural drift from one thought to another, like someone who is daydreaming or wandering in thought. You did well. Keep it up. Ignore the harsh commenters. Keep writing and I will keep reading. Cheers

  13. engorgio
    June 22, 16:15 Reply

    Chizzie!!!!!! Hmmmmmmmmmm, that’s all I have to say. I need to meet u in person

  14. Abimbola
    June 22, 22:19 Reply

    I have been an ‘underground’ reader of this blog ever since a friend introduced it to me. I read these heartfelt, erotic and hilarious true-stories and comments whenever I’m bored and I need a good laugh. I enjoy seeing some people show-off they had phonetics as a subject in their secondary school. I’ve been following James’ Journal for a while and I believe it’s a series of events that go on in the life of a young guy; events that we should learn from, debate over and share similar experiences. I suggest that we should however respect his courage of writing and sharing his personal stuffs with the community. A lot of critics have said he rambles but I see it as gists. You can either wait to listen to gists or pass over.
    If we have suggestions on how better an article could have been, these should be tabled in a respectful, educative and constructive way not trying to be noticed thereby causing others to deviate from the subject or stories being discussed in the article.
    Also, not everyone can write like Wole Soyinka or Shakespare or even Chinua Achibe. I’m sure if these creative and knowledgeable writers scrutinize all the articles on this blog, we will all be in for a laugh and mockery.
    Keep the write-ups coming brothers. I’m enjoying them. And the ‘dramas’ too. 🙂

  15. lace
    June 23, 09:36 Reply

    So,afta readn the post n d commentaries dat followed,am left wit one question,can one actually make friends frm this blog?

    • pinkpanthertb
      June 23, 10:18 Reply

      Yes o. Lawd knows this blog has helped me make acquaintances I’m hoping will graduate into great friends.

      • lace
        June 23, 10:33 Reply

        I do need friends,I guess am overly closeted,wud like to make a few friends,be it chat buddies or real life friends.So,am askn the administrator,is it appropraite to drop a contact?

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