Kenny Badmus…A Year Later

Kenny Badmus…A Year Later

To commemorate the World AIDS Day, Kenny Brandmuse had this to say on his Facebook page.

*

It Was This Time Last Year – Musing on World AIDS Day.

‘Hello, Kenny, I saw your story about HIV. Hmmm. It is well. Hmm. How are you now? Hmm. So you are fine, right? Hmm, so that means you are taking your medication well? Hmmmmm…It is well.’

Those were some of the words that greeted me from close gay friends when I disclosed my HIV positive status last year December.

Then others went to my ex, without bothering to chat with me.

‘Hello, Greg. Hmm. So Kenny just came out to the whole world that he has HIV. Hmmmmm…. I hope you are doing well? Because I’m more concerned about you. Hmmmmm. At least you two are no longer together. Hmmmm…. We thank the Lord. At least you are fine, right? Hmmmmm. Right?’

One particular dude came chatting with me on Facebook.

‘Hello, Kenny. Hmm, your story shook me and moved me to tears. Hmm. So, that’s why you never fucked me all those times I was disturbing you for sex. Oh, you are my Jesus. What would I have told my wife and children? Hmm… I can never thank you enough for not fucking me all those years. Ha, Chineke! Hmm. At least you are fine now, right? You take pills, right? Hmm. Honestly, you are my Jesus.’

Then these:

‘Hello, Kenny. Hmm… I read your story on Bellanaija. Hmmm, it is well. You know we are the same. Hmmmmm. You and I have the same thing.’

‘What do we have?’ I might ask.

‘Hmm, you should understand by now. That story. Hmm. That story of yours? It’s the same thing doing me. Are you single?’

One of those days, I met this other one. He said we should make out.

I said, ‘You know my status, right?’

He said, ‘Yes of course. It doesn’t matter to me. I’m on PrEP.’

Then, we fucked each other’s brains out. And just as we both came, he jumped off the bed and rushed to the bathroom, turned the faucet of warm water onto his genitals. When I went to check on him in the tub, I thought he was scrubbing an elephant skin. He kept scrubbing hard as he eyed me obliquely. ‘Hmm, it was a very good sex. Hmm. You said you are undetectable, right? It means you can’t infect someone else with the virus, right? Hmm.’

One other night, just in the heat of summer, I met another one on the two train from Manhattan. For a quick second, most of us on the train thought he was Idris Elba, but without his salt and pepper beard. I tried to keep my eyes away, but his eyes were telling me to stare some more. He smiled. I was like a thirteen-year-old girl. Could he be smiling at me? A woman got off on 72nd street, and he quickly moved into the seat beside me.

‘Would you like to stop over at the Grand Concourse with me?’ he whispered in his deep voice.

I shuddered. My dick was hard. My nipples couldn’t hide their excitement, and my lips were quivering like Whitney singing I Will Always Love You. I didn’t intend to have sex that night, but we held each other tight at the train station as he told me how much he was into me.

‘We should have another date,’ he said. ‘Or could you go home with me?’

No! I tamed the raging beast in my pants. Instead of going home with him, I just gave him my name. ‘You can Google me. Read up my stories, and call me after.’

He dragged me closer to himself and kissed me deeply. Both of us never minded the hundreds of commuters coming out of the subway. The following day, he called me. ‘Hmm. So I’m trying to find a clinic now.’

‘Why looking for a clinic?’

‘Hmmm… I think I must have caught something.’

‘How so?’

‘Hmmmm…. but why didn’t you tell me everything before you allowed me to kiss you? Hmm, I’m really afraid you must have passed me something. You could have stopped me from touching you at the train station.’

Then, when summer was beginning to shed off its scorching fangs and the relieving coolness of fall was beginning to set in, I moved in with a new friend who does not know how to boil water. The only thing he can cook is toast bread. He can spread the butter on the bread before he puts it in the toaster, but he does not know when the bread is ready. Even when the toaster chimes. One evening, I decided to treat him to real African food. We went organic at Whole Foods. Onions. Vegetables. Chicken breast. Red peppers. Plump bell peppers of three different colors. I had chopped the chicken breast into cubes of steak. Next were the peppers. Then his Cutco stainless steel knife popped a vein in my finger and was soon spraying my blood on the recipe. The white onions turned to burgundy. The red peppers began to bleed red, and the chicken breast cowered in fear. He was very afraid. I was very ashamed. He didn’t say much. He was busy trying to stop the blood. Now I had to do most of the talking as we both cleaned the items.

‘Don’t worry, I will get other groceries. You won’t have to eat this. You are not starving yet, right? I’m so sorry about your wall. I will have it all cleaned up nicely for you.’

He put some bandage around my finger, applied some pressure, and ensured the blood stopped flowing. Then, he looked straight into my eyes and said: ‘How about you finish your cooking because I won’t eat toast tonight.’

‘This same food?’ I asked slightly looking away.

‘What’s wrong with the food?’ he asked me as he washed the vegetables all over again. ‘Is it because you told me you are HIV positive? You seem to forget that HIV cannot survive outside the body, no?’

‘Hmm…. yes you are right,’ I said.

Note to self: HIV is more than a virus. It challenges our mental selves, and can drive us crazy due to so many uncertainties, past rejections, and questions.

This World AIDS Day, make up your mind that you can never answer every question, and you can never take responsibilities for those who choose to be ignorant about the virus. Do just one thing. ‪#‎LIVE.

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44 Comments

  1. Kenny
    December 01, 07:48 Reply

    The stigmatization by many ignorant folks kills faster than the virus itself. Yet many are still too lazy to get enlightened. Can I have some of that chicken breast Kenny?

    • Max
      December 01, 07:57 Reply

      Lol, people sha. Forgetting the chicken is gonna get cooked is what makes people think irrationally. Thankfully, the dude he wrote about is enlightened.

      • Mandy
        December 01, 08:09 Reply

        Lol. Max, i think you missed the chicken breast thrust of kenny’s comment. 🙂

  2. Max
    December 01, 07:55 Reply

    “Note to self: HIV is more than a virus. It challenges our mental selves, and can drive us crazy due to so many uncertainties, past rejections, and questions.”

    < This line is everything… ???

  3. ken
    December 01, 08:12 Reply

    I dunno what to say. I came here to read comments. Thanks

  4. Mandy
    December 01, 08:13 Reply

    I can’t get over how raw Kenny was with this post. Wow. Like really, that train moment, lol.
    And boy, the stigma is real o. Which is another reason why I laud him. To be such a beacon for how healthy and HOT one can be whilst still HIV positive.

    • ambivalentone
      December 01, 08:54 Reply

      Azzin! He shocked my sensibilities. I must be growing old if I’m already this prim n proper. Hian!!!

  5. Kristopher B!
    December 01, 08:39 Reply

    I like the way he presented this write up, very lucid and with all its rough edges like the way a gay man feels towards another… Not overly painted and conforming for straight people. It shows he has really matured and doesn’t really care what bigots will think about his person. HIV is not as infectious as people think… Its the way AIDS kills the body that makes people so scared of the virus… Well done Kenny for championing a good cause. People like you will never be forgotten in history.

  6. Oluwadamilare Okoro
    December 01, 09:02 Reply

    Good writing. iLike.

    Max is busy clapping above … Shey u will not slut-shame now ehhhh???? *side eyes*

    • Mandy
      December 01, 09:40 Reply

      Hahahahahahahaa! Okoro, atink you dey see that kain thing. Perhaps his slut-shaming is reserved for those on KD

    • Max
      December 01, 10:59 Reply

      Please let’s all focus on the message, thank you.

      • Brian Collins
        December 02, 08:40 Reply

        So, now you can focus on only the message abi? Well done o

  7. bruno
    December 01, 09:36 Reply

    “You know we are the same. Hmmmmm. You and I have the same thing.” ????????????? why do nigerians talk like this?

    really though, kudos to kenny for using his own stories to help demystify hiv and discuss hiv paranoia and stigmatisation.

    …and y’all should get tested and always play safe.

  8. Chizzie
    December 01, 09:40 Reply

    Im surprised that most gay guys are really ignorant about this virus. I was too, about a year back until someone i knew had it . So I decided to do the ideal thing which was read up extensively on it. I didn’t want to accept the grim images I had in my head about this my friend so I decided to educate myself. And suddenly i wasn’t afraid anymore. Knowledge is power, and ignorance is for the cowardly, people too afraid to face the truth.

    Every gay guy owes it to himself to be oriented about this virus because it is something, dare I say, synonymous with anal sex. Sometimes its not only about dick, sometimes pick up a book and read

    • Mandy
      December 01, 09:43 Reply

      Yea that HIV false alarm you narrated here once upon a time showed how scared out of your wits you were. Hehee

    • Max
      December 01, 11:05 Reply

      Thats rich, coming from someone who constantly hiv-shame people here on KD and twitter, talking about “getting them tested”. Quite rich.

      • Mandy
        December 01, 11:15 Reply

        *snigger*
        *now waiting for ikhines to come for Max*

      • Chizzie
        December 01, 11:34 Reply

        Ok yes apparently I didn’t get the memo. Im also a HIV shamer. Add that to the list of things that i am, transphobic, racist, homophobic, yorubaphobic, Islam phobic, fatphobic, and just recently I found out I was an ageist failing to have a man in the mirror moment a la the Michael Jackson song *rolls eyes*

  9. Chizzie
    December 01, 09:48 Reply

    Meanwhile this man reminds me so much of Keredim; old, grotesquely muscular and indiscriminately promiscuous. Kissing a stranger on the train? What is wrong with some people? What if he had like herpes or gonorrhea of the the mouth?

    Tufiaaaa!

    • Pink Panther
      December 01, 10:40 Reply

      Old, grotesquely muscular and indiscriminately promiscuous.

      You know, Chizzie, when you pontificate about Keredim, like you have him all figured out, I laugh. For someone who talks about how separate your twitter existence is from your actual life, you fall neatly inside the trap you point out for others.

      • Chizzie
        December 01, 11:03 Reply

        How about you allow Keredim defend himself and you stay out of it so this doesn’t turn into another, Chizzie – Pinky-Dennis blood bath triangle?

        • Pink Panther
          December 01, 11:14 Reply

          Oh I know Keredim is capable of holding his own against you, Chizzie. I simply fail to see where it says someone else can’t position the mirror before you. 🙂

  10. Tobby
    December 01, 10:11 Reply

    lol. Why do they add so much “hmms” to their messages?

  11. tarter
    December 01, 10:17 Reply

    I met this other one. He said we should
    make out.
    I said, ‘You know my status, right?’
    He said, ‘Yes of course. It doesn’t matter to me. I’m on PrEP.’
    Then, we fucked each other’s brains out. And just as we both
    came, he jumped off the bed and rushed to the bathroom,
    turned the faucet of warm water onto his genitals. When I
    went to check on him in the tub, I thought he was scrubbing
    an elephant skin. He kept scrubbing hard as he eyed me
    obliquely. ‘Hmm, it was a very good sex. Hmm. You said you
    are undetectable, right? It means you can’t infect someone
    else with the virus, right? Hmm.’

    hahahahahahaha!! this killed me! lmao! i love the fact there is humor in this piece and still passed a strong message!

  12. Delle
    December 01, 10:21 Reply

    That Badmus guy is shaa whorish to say the truth.
    *hits head on the wall five consecutive times*
    Why do I keep fooling myself thinking all muscular, burly guys should be doing the dicking and not getting dicked?!

    OAN
    Is it just me or were there too many ‘hmms’ in all the conversations?!

    • Oluwadamilare Okoro
      December 01, 10:37 Reply

      Hi Delle, you still think of muscular guys in that manner because you are a stereotypical learner …. Don’t worry, with time u will see thangs that will change all stereotypes you be ever heard!!! … Keep strolling through the gaybourhood dear!

    • Delle
      December 01, 12:01 Reply

      @Okoro…yes hunnay, maybe you are right. I’m not going to act so rigid on this as I am guilty as charged. But I’m hanging on so tight (for dear life) to that ‘learner’ word. I really hope to see those ‘thangs’ that would change my view totally.
      Until that Yusaf Mack’s incidence, I never believed burly guys get on all fours. Oh well…

      Pinky sweetheart, unfortunately, I am 100% made in China.

  13. Nightwing
    December 01, 10:43 Reply

    Y’all are beautiful creatures, well most of the time that is.. ???

  14. bashir
    December 01, 10:59 Reply

    Hmmm kenny kenny bae of life, may Allah continue to strengthen U!!

  15. Dubem
    December 01, 11:20 Reply

    This World AIDS Day, make up your mind that you can never answer every question, and you can never take responsibilities for those who choose to be ignorant about the virus. Do just one thing. ‪#‎LIVE.

    God bless you, Kenny Brandmuse.

  16. Colossus
    December 01, 12:13 Reply

    Always inspirational, hmmmm. Loved the message, hmmmm. Kenny is such a Beacon of hope to a lot of people living positively, hmmmm. Nigerians Sha, hmmmm. Still ignorant on a lot of issues, hmmmm.

  17. Dick Advocate
    December 01, 12:25 Reply

    Amazing piece!
    i learnt from and enjoyed every piece of this.

  18. Eddie
    December 01, 14:20 Reply

    Hmmmm…..this tells me that I would on no circumstance disclose my status to anybody cos human beings just can’t handle the truth….

    • Chuck
      December 02, 03:56 Reply

      So you’ll keep putting others at risk

  19. Chuck
    December 01, 14:49 Reply

    Back in the day, I’m guessing when he was first diagnosed, Kennie was very promiscuous sha, and did not tell his partners about his status. Glad to see he now tells them

  20. papasmurf
    December 01, 18:31 Reply

    To Kenny… Strength and Joy shall fill your days.
    Ehen… All you pipu dat har finding trouble any how… Keredim… God is washing dem in 3D higlass for U! Pinky deary… Bish-slap all of dem for me.
    *runs away with my new bum shorts!*

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