37 responses

  1. Mandy
    April 20, 2017

    This is just the weirdest sexual encounter.

    Reply

  2. Queen Blue Fox
    April 20, 2017

    Ok this is just unacceptable! Being someone who has had a near rape encounter, I don’t think anyone should ever have to go through that fear which comes from the feeling of helplessness.

    Reply

    • Jason
      April 20, 2017

      A near rape?
      Dude was raped by a lying scum who masks his deceit with generosity. I put it to you that that man was the one that infected him. Did he ever see the result or he came out and told him he was negative. Then played a psychological mind game with him by guilting him with his status then wakes up one morning to simply forget he had HIV. From what I can deduce, the writer is pretty young and gullible too.

      Reply

      • Dubem
        April 20, 2017

        I’m not that young. And I’m certainly not gullible. You can express your distaste for what happened without insulting me at the same time.

        Reply

      • Jason
        April 20, 2017

        Calm down! Wasn’t trying to insult you, if it came out that way then I apologize. Just that the story was way too sad. I’m glad you aren’t as young as I thought, that makes me feel much better.

        Reply

      • Nyong’o
        April 23, 2017

        You’re brave and I commend you for sharing your story with us. It means a lot to me.
        Thanks again, and I hope you lead an amazing fulfilled life and keep being an inspiration and encouragement to many more out there.

        Reply

  3. Lorde
    April 20, 2017

    I don’t even know what to say about this…..

    Reply

  4. Jason
    April 20, 2017

    My take he is HIV positive too. This is just a method of his denial before he comes out clean to you. Trust me, no one forgets their lover has HIV. He wanted to eat the cookie, hoping you won’t remind him of your status so he wouldn’t address his. All those while he was keeping his distance with you and supposedly friendzoning you, did he all of a sudden develop some sort of memory loss to forget ?
    He rekindled the relationship when he tested positive too, are you even sure he ever tested negative? Probably he was the one that infected you and breaking up with you then was to relieve his guilt.

    Reply

    • ambivalentone
      April 20, 2017

      This is my every thought. I don’t wanna believe that he did forget for once Dubem is a carrier. To the point where he forgot to use protection (PrEP or condoms)??? Ngbo Dubem, se o lo protection?
      BTW, how many times did u follow him to go for his test? (Window period, anyone?) and did u actually see the result or did he only communicate it to u?

      Reply

      • Francis
        April 20, 2017

        I didn’t see the rape coming sef. For my mind the story for end for “hey I’m HIV positive too and i want you back”

        Reply

  5. beejay
    April 20, 2017

    So lemme get this straight, homeboy woulda forced himself on you albeit without your interest or even consent, but for the reminder that you were poz? Damn! Talk about some twisted mofo. And just when I was beginning to thank the heavens for a decent man who wasn’t interested in “giving and taking”, FML.

    Reply

    • Dubem
      April 20, 2017

      “Strings are always attached to everything,” a friend said to me when I told him what happened. “It may take awhile to manifest. But eventually the strings will show up.”

      I try not to be a cynic, but this…!

      Reply

      • Francis
        April 20, 2017

        Strings are always attached unfortunately. It’s only the decent ones that make their intentions known before hand.

        Is it now so difficult to get gay sex that peeps resort to rape? Like someone said to me recently all it takes is N1500 lunch and sex is automatically guaranteed. Abi that tactics no dey work again?🤔

        Reply

      • FJ
        April 21, 2017

        may cost even much less (chuckles) 😅

        Reply

  6. Canis VY Majoris
    April 20, 2017

    I am not understanding this..😕😕😕

    Something is just off, a puzzle missing at the behest of Chidi and unbeknownst to Dubem.

    Reply

  7. Delle
    April 20, 2017

    He forgot? I can’t stop laughing. He is an idiot for thinking he was smart to draw you in, make you comfortable until you felt you owed him so he could then take advantage of you.

    He is a beast. A terrible person. I pray I never meet such predatorial being.
    Seems rape is slowly becoming a thing. What stopped him from putting you in the mood and using protection? Would that emasculate him or make him less a person?

    I’m fucking mad right now.

    Reply

  8. ambivalentone
    April 20, 2017

    Dubem, I read your coming out story again, and I was reminded about my tweet 2 days ago at @ZenithBank and @gtbank on their stance on LGBT matters. Characteristically, they didn’t reply and I really think these banks deserve international exposure and embarrassment. Recommendations on whom I can mention to remind the world that these ppl can gaan kneel down for corrupt governors. Our lives are no less holy but deserving respect.

    Reply

    • Pink Panther
      April 20, 2017

      I swear, whenever you want to carry out that campaign, Ambi, I’m game. It’s just horrible that supposedly enlightened institutions like that can be so discriminatory.

      Reply

    • Brian Collins
      April 20, 2017

      But unku, I don’t really get why you should ask about their stance on LGBT matters on social media. I thought it was policies about HIV/AIDS and employment you were going to ask about.
      You do realise that many big Nigerian brands would not open up about LGBT stance for fear of fire from citizens and whoever is manning their contact centre at the time could lose their job for answering you whether they are members of the community or not.

      Reply

  9. Cleopatro
    April 20, 2017

    “After everything… You have to let me have this”. Annoying

    Reply

  10. Marvin
    April 20, 2017

    You shouldn’t have reminded him. Some people do not deserve to know your status, keep it to yourself. The highest help I can give a healthy person is to use protection and a good lube. No one will mistreat me again.

    Reply

    • Francis
      April 20, 2017

      This vengeful move could very well backfire if 1) the nigga has a resistant strain of HIV which could end up making Dubem to fail on his current hiv drug regimen 2) if he has any STDs and 3) if Dubem ends of with tears from the assault.

      E better as he raise alarm

      Reply

      • Canis VY Majoris
        April 20, 2017

        @Francis, pls explain that number 1. Can someone already infected, get reinfected by a different strain? If so, however can that be treated?.

        Reply

      • Francis
        April 20, 2017

        Yes you can get reinfected with a different strain. That’s why we advocate use of condom even amongst HIV patients especially if they are not monogamous.

        HIV multiplies quite rapidly in the body and sometimes in the process of multiplying itself, errors are made creating modified HIV virus which could either be very weak in the face of HIV drugs or very strong(resistant).

        When this resistance occurs, na to change medicine be the next thing. Unfortunately in Nigeria our selection of HIV drugs are quite few which makes tackling the problem in some patients a bit difficult.

        Reply

      • Canis VY Majoris
        April 21, 2017

        @Francis…Wow. I don’t think many people know this, especially positive people who still go at it unprotected. You gotta keep up with your health clinic articles.

        Reply

      • Francis
        April 21, 2017

        My dear i addressed that issue in one of my past entries. Hopefully some people got that part.

        Reply

      • beejay
        April 21, 2017

        A fact which unfortunately, the health care providers in a lot of centers don’t make known to their patients until it is too late to do anything and the entire immune system fails. FML

        Reply

      • Francis
        April 21, 2017

        Some of us have unfortunately left that part of management to the adherence counsellors when it’s meant to be everyone’s job

        Reply

      • Brian Collins
        April 20, 2017

        I gotta ask though, when we talk about a resistant strain, is it not that the strain is resistant to a particular drug and changing the drugs could help the person start getting better? Doctors in the house o.

        Reply

      • Francis
        April 20, 2017

        Availability of drugs and availability of test to check which drugs they’ve developed resistance to is the problem we’re facing

        Reply

  11. Omiete
    April 20, 2017

    I just don’t understand why someone would want to take sth by force when he can get it by simply flirting or even ask at the least. He forgot!!!! Yeah right.

    Reply

  12. Eugene
    April 20, 2017

    Me, I have a problem with the story title.

    Reply

  13. Brian Collins
    April 20, 2017

    Sorry about your experience Dubem.

    Reply

  14. FJ
    April 21, 2017

    Just read your previous story. So touching, so sorry my dear. Just remain strong. If u haven’t started ARV, u need to immediately. No one has to wait till when their CD4 starts dropping before commencing treatment. You may talk to your doctor over this.

    Reply

  15. FJ
    April 21, 2017

    Pinky, pls is there any way we can help the community access PEP ( post exposure prophylaxis). I believe it will go a long way in halting this ugly trend. The rate at which our guys turn positive these days is very alarming.
    In the last two years, i av had to resort to emergency PEP three times due to accidental exposure, one of which was condom breakage.
    With or without the knowledge of the sex partners, we can prevent infection after accident exposure. Pinky please help educate others

    Reply

    • Francis
      April 21, 2017

      PEP is readily available to everyone all over Nigeria. There’s no need for a separate program targeted at the LGBT community

      Reply

  16. FJ
    April 21, 2017

    Although, there is high probability for PEP abuse, but it will surely help the genuine ones among us. We can try engage the numerous LGBT friendly NGOs that provide HIV related services for the community.

    Reply

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