Kito Alert: A Word To The Wise

Kito Alert: A Word To The Wise

Before I go on to post the very scant details of this kito alert, I have to say something first. It’s gotten very disappointing, the kinds of reports that get back to me over the kito experiences gay Nigerians are still having. Just recently, an acquaintance of mine furnished me with pictures of a criminal who had set up his friend. To my stupefaction, these pictures and the information he provided had already been put up here on Kito Diaries as a kito alert. This friend of his had apparently gotten acquainted with someone on Grindr, then they hopped over to WhatsApp, and a couple of picture exchanges later, he was off to meet the stranger in Abule Ado. This guy didn’t take the time to seek more information concerning his potential hook-up or ask around for friends to verify his genuineness. And so he jaunted off to Abule Ado and got set up.

The story that’s prompting this kito alert post apparently went through the same wham-bam acquaintance. A blank-profile-picture Grindr profile, a quick chat on WhatsApp, a photo exchange, and off he went to Ijegun-Ikotun axis for a hook-up that turned into a kito story.

Here’s the thing, my fellow gay Nigerians, we can no longer afford the fast and easy hook-up. The homophobic Nigerian populace that is idle and workshops of the devil have caught on to a foolproof scheme of making money — and that is by targeting the LGBT community.

We are reviled. We are targets. And we have no protection from the law. These are facts, constants, and should surprise no one.

The variable is how you take care of yourself in a hook-up situation. Unless the person you are looking to meet was recommended by your friend, or someone whose identity is already well known in the gay community, you cannot afford to skip off to a hook-up without doing your due diligence. Dennis Macaulay has previously talked about how to stay safe during hook-up situations. (Here’s the entry in case you missed it).

But it has to be reiterated:

Upon getting acquainted with someone online, ask for a number. Whether you two are relocating to BBM or WhatsApp or staying put in Grindr, Manjam or Badoo, insist on the exchange of numbers.

Get personal. Insist on photos. Google the number. Run it through Facebook and True Caller. Look for mutual connections. Involve your friends; seek verification from them. Get personal with him. Push for more information about him, especially if he’s asking you to come see him. Any hesitation or irritation on his part as a result of your query should be a red light to you. You’re the one whose being asked over; it’s your right to demand for information.

And as elitist as this may sound, there are in fact places in every city in Nigeria occupied by a thriving gay community that are no-go areas for hook-ups. Or at least, areas you should be very, very careful before you visit for a hook-up. A KDian once remarked that hook-ups who live in Lagos districts such as Ojo, Okokomaiko, Abule Ado, Alagbado, Abule Egba, Ikotun and Ikorodu are kito-prone. It was a caustic comment and didn’t win him any favours. But there’s a truth to it. And I’ve heard of these sentiments shared of places in Owerri, Port Harcourt, Enugu, Asaba and Onitsha. Areas that are too hardscrabble, too littered with lowlifes for comfort. Places you’d hear and should be very careful before you commit to the decision of visiting a hook-up there.

In the case of this kito alert, the victim was reportedly lured to FIJB hotel in Ijegun-Ikotun axis, where he was set upon in broad daylight by 8 hoodlums. The number he’d interacted with is 08057263833. That is all the information he has of his attackers, which is sad.

Yes, of course there’s no foolproof way of avoiding being set up, if you’re into the hook-up scene. And yes, you may take all your precautions and still fall prey to these unsavoury characters.

But let it be said that you did everything you could to avert danger before it came to you. Let that be your story.

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24 Comments

  1. Arabian Princess
    February 08, 08:47 Reply

    Another addition to the list is the Google Image search. Some people can be catfishes so you can just upload their picture to Google.com/images or https://ctrlq.org/google/images/ and find out who they really are.
    We are in the information era.
    On the other hand, alot of gay Nigerians do not know a platform like this exists and even if they do, sometimes overlook it as irrelevant.

    • Mandy
      February 08, 09:17 Reply

      To their detriment, it would seem.

      Let’s be more vigorous in spreading the word of Kito Diaries, brethren.

      • Francis
        February 08, 14:43 Reply

        @Mandy Vigorous in spreading wetin? You no notice boys wey dey cry when we land LIB front page? I never knew boys paranoid pass me. LOL

        Hopefully we can overcome this fear and need for KD to stay secret soonest. Na all this upcoming small pikin gays go need this our site pass

    • Arabian Princess
      February 08, 09:24 Reply

      OAN, there’s someone by the name Abiola Olumide on Facebook who blocked me yesterday…his reason being that I called him out about his incessant posts about wanting to hookup on his timeline… I told him he seemed like one of those setup guys and these are the pointers:

      1. He supposedly lives in Ikorodu, Odonguyan to be precise. (no go area)

      2. He claimed to have been a victim of kito setup and lost 300k to them (which seems like something cooked up to make people sympathize with him and not suspect him)

      3. He keeps posting updates of wanting “immediate hookups”, looking for bottoms and all (and still some stupid people in this our community replied with their whatsapp number)

      Please let’s have sense

      • Mandy
        February 08, 11:21 Reply

        That behaviour is so bizarre, I’m shocked there are gay men responding to him. Hian! Nawa o.

  2. Mandy
    February 08, 09:19 Reply

    Gone are the days when hookups are a private thing. Where you have a potential hookup online and you go about it solo, resistant to the wisdom of involving your friends for verification.

  3. IBK
    February 08, 09:43 Reply

    Or maybe, just maybe invest in a long term fuck buddy or get a boyfriend.

    • El
      February 09, 13:47 Reply

      Exactly. Let us all learn monogamy. It’s very important in this our community .

  4. mac-nuel
    February 08, 14:54 Reply

    Pls house do any of you know a person by name Pidos Damilare on facebook. He really sound too good to be true. Pls waiting for respond asap thanks.

  5. Mac nuel
    February 08, 15:31 Reply

    Pls house someone by name pidos damilare on facebook, he sounds too good to be true do any know him here? Do help out a brother pls asap.

  6. Canis VY Majoris
    February 08, 15:47 Reply

    youngtee whayar – Facebook
    That’s the profile the number is connected to.

  7. Pastor Ukwu
    February 08, 18:12 Reply

    idea. a hook up call center, managed by the community, via which new hookups undergo screening and vetting and approval. if they fail, they are added to a blacklist, which everyone has access to, and is updated on KD regularly. if they pass they are added to a hotlist or community pools of studs and whatnots which can be safely passed around by all. gone are the days of selfishly keeping your ‘good market’ to yourself.finally, all hook up action should take place in the community slaughter house, where levies and dues are collected from all attendees monthly for upkeep and maintenance, with surveillance and security provided by community services.

    • aAYaaH
      April 12, 06:09 Reply

      Lol. I love it. it’s a great idea. Still surprised it seems to have gone unnoticed. It’s almost as if we don’t want our safety. We just like to rant and after that, it’s back to the closets time.

  8. ambivalentone
    February 08, 20:55 Reply

    Apparently someone prolly read this today and decided ALL IB guys are fucktards for not wanting to share pictures. Smh. For me, insisting on pictures will not save you from kito. How many have mentioned on here they saw their picture attached to someone else’s grindr, MJ profile? Biko, if u cannot collect ur ‘no pictures’ ticket, sashay away *in mama Ru’s voice*

  9. karllyG
    February 08, 22:57 Reply

    If we cud stick to the few good guys we’ve met and build on our relationship it wud go along way. Rather, so many of us keep searching to hook- up wit a new guy everyday for selfish reasons that cud lead one to these so called setups. As for me am making effort to keep and stick to the few real guys have known over the years…

    • aAyAAh
      April 19, 18:53 Reply

      Lol. I have considered that. I have chosen it. it’s not like I don’t meet people. Infact,I meet more people now than I did then. How do I meet them?? I have no idea. sometimes it’s mutual attraction, then a conversation ensues. Other times, at outings or a mutual friend. Believe me, you have a friend who knows someone who knows someone you haven’t met yet. Be patient and one day while you’re talking with your friend in his room, that gorgeous piece of chocolate Will walk in. lol.

  10. Abi
    February 11, 14:56 Reply

    I was just in Nigeria… If you’re talking to me on grindr, absolutely no pic no chat, then again I still dont believe their pics. If conversation gets going and you’re out of the Island/Ikeja axis, its a no no! And then again if we have to meet, you’re meeting me at my chosen place of meeting, I dont care if you have to crawl or not..

    • aAYaaH
      April 12, 06:01 Reply

      Lol. Crawl, I like that part.

  11. Gabriella
    February 12, 22:59 Reply

    Why does it have to be about hook ups all the time, just saying

  12. Esso
    February 15, 10:30 Reply

    I personally insist on meeting somewhere open where I can talk. That way I would get his number and run all my checks. Then I start to ask questions relating to what I have found. Clashing responses are a red light. If I find him suspicious, I disappear!

  13. Marvin
    April 19, 13:58 Reply

    I do not like this ‘hook-up’ phrase, a word or whatever! Can we always use ‘a date’? It makes me feel as being gay is all about having sex. It makes me sick abeg.

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