Let’s Discuss…About The Expiry Date On Being Gay

Blog_Let's DiscussA friend of mine shared a chatversation he had with an acquaintance with his; he was so outraged by what he thought was this friend’s silliness that I decided to share it here, to get an opinion from the house.

So this friend of his told him that someone he knows intended to hook him up with some older dude, someone in his late forties or fifties. And this friend, apparently repulsed by the idea, said: ‘I don’t get how an older guy of that age, married with kids, will still want to be fucking ass.’

And my friend replied with: ‘Okay, so when you get married, you’ll become totally straight?’

To which this acquaintance answered with: ‘Haba! Once I get married, fucking guys will get boring and I’ll probably stop doing it.’

To say my friend was flabbergasted by this response is putting it mildly. Lol.

And now, there you have it, guys. Apparently, there’s an expiry date on being gay, and that time begins to count down once you’re married, ticking on fast the closer you cross over your middle age. And in case, you didn’t get it, homosexuality is also a fad. A passing fancy. A capricious distraction. Eventually, boredom will kick in, and we can all say goodbye to our homosexual desires. Right? Lol.

Don’t mind my sarcasm. Seriously though, I’d like to get a feel for your opinions. I’d like the house to acquaint itself to your take on this issue. Because, if this…well, kind of internalized homophobia (for a lack of a better word) exists among us, then it’s no wonder society believes that it’s just a matter of a bunch of trips to the regular pastor, a round of fervent praying and fasting, and a string of strict partaking in church activities, and surely that gay son or daughter will rediscover his or her love for the opposite sex.

So, let’s discuss . . . about the expiry date on being gay.

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32 Comments

  1. Dennis Macauley
    July 19, 05:40 Reply

    This makes laugh and sad at the same time. I remember going on a blind date with a guy a while back, and we got talking about ourselves. Suddenly he asks “how long have you been playing this game” and my mind did not connect immediately, so I asked “what game”? And he is like “this game na, this TB game, how did you start”?
    I was instantly annoyed! To be a game is chess, monopoly and Play station (which I happen to love), a game is not who you are, your sexuality is not a game.

    I think we have internalized homophobia (like pinky just said) so we have accepted that this is a deviation, therefore it must come with a temporary stamp and expiry date. We must not let it define us, it must be a side dressing and should never be seen as a main course. I never saw that guy again, cos to me hypocrisy is a deal breaker, but then again this is what society has molded a lot of into and we have in more ways than one allowed ourselves to be malleable too.

    • trystham
      July 19, 06:47 Reply

      You know why I love KD? Cos I identify with most of the lives n struggles. Though I wouldn’t have called it ‘a game’, I ask the ‘how long have you bin gay’ question. The answer conveys a lot (for me anyway) whether its a true fuck, a curious one, or a kito…it gives me something of that person to identify with, and it hasn’t failed me yet. So no vex with am ehn. It could be his own way of telling…especially since no be referral

    • chestnut
      July 19, 06:54 Reply

      Lol@ “TB game”…I really hate such derogatory tags. Anyways,of course being gay has no expiry date;u are who u are. But “practising”? Well,that’s a differnt thing and I guess it’s an individual decision.I’m not married yet,but when I get married,I don’t imagine that a ray of light will shine down from d sky and automatically reverse my true desires, however, I think it might be possible for some ppl to stop practising(note,I don’t mean stop BEING gay). For me,it might become more a question of fidelity: I would rather not cheat on my wife with a woman of a man(if I could help it); it won’t be easy,I know,but that’s just something that I would strongly consider(not committing adultery, not NOT being gay,cos that’s just stupid).

      • Dennis Macauley
        July 19, 08:12 Reply

        One million likes chestnut! Being gay is a nature, but being sexually active as a gay man is another matter. I think one can decide to stop having sex with men, maybe because you got married to a woman. That’s permissible! He did not turn straight as it were, he just decided to stop having sex with men. I can relate to that

  2. blue fox
    July 19, 06:25 Reply

    honestly if being gay is something you can turn off n on wouldn’t many have left by now? I hate it when people talk from a very low level of mediocrity. He thinks he can turn it off? mscheew! such persons always end up at fucking 18-19year old boys when they are 50 and married with children.

  3. trystham
    July 19, 06:29 Reply

    FOR NOW, I don’t know bout expiry dates on homosexuality, personally though, I do wonder and fear that I will be able to recieve cock when I’m older. Probably my days of bottoming has the expiry. I go then promote go topping (which I hate to act out).

    But I guess in the end, it all boils down to society’s expectations of heterosexual marriage and stability gradually creeping and influencing our psyche

    • chestnut
      July 19, 06:44 Reply

      Trystham, age doesn’t really affect what u genuinely like and enjoy(as regards d top/bottom issue). I know a guy in his fifties,married with kinds,but can twist and turn and spread harder than a 19 year old gymnist! He simply says it plainly: “I hate playing top, I like being fucked…if I feel like fucking anyone,I can always fuck my wife”. Age definitely didn’t change that for him,and I kinda respect him for that.I think in nigeria sha,a lot if ppl feel wen they get older,it’s less “honourable” to play bottom,so they start topping.but I wonder,do they really enjoy it,or do they just feel like that’s what their age-mates are meant to do? Is it like a case of “I love burgers and ice-creams,but because I’m in my sixties now,I should leave d junk food I truly love and stick to vegetables and fruits that I truly dislike”?

      • trystham
        July 19, 08:15 Reply

        errr Chestnut, are u sure u wanna be using the ‘ice cream and cheese burger for old people’ analogy??? That’s a heart attack we are playing with there…and that’s not helping

      • chestnut
        July 19, 10:52 Reply

        Trystham,that’s my point exactly! Old ppl should NOT hav junk food cos it’s bad for their health,not because they suddenly stopped enjoying it.most old ppl that have a strict,bland diet don’t really enjoy it;they would love the burgers and stuff but their health is more important. So all I’m saying is,do older bottoms switch to topping becos age has made them truly lose any sexual pleasure in playing bottom, or do they just do it because even though they don’t get much pleasure from playing top, it’s more “respectable” to be a top at that age? Remember,unlike burgers and vegetables, sexual roles hav no effect on an older person’s health(at least not that I know of).

      • trystham
        July 19, 14:06 Reply

        I don’t care much about the respectability in being a top. I was actually thinking Mr Sphincter might ‘slack’ on the first dickie after I clock 50. Like anal menopause thingie.

  4. JustJames
    July 19, 07:23 Reply

    I couldn’t help but laugh at that chatversation. He sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself that he will stop more than stating that fact. Anyhow… good morning y’all.

  5. Fitzgerald
    July 19, 09:26 Reply

    Lol. I dunno why some people believe that they can just switch from gay to straight with a wave of a magic wand or a click of fingers. I have tried countless number of times to stop being gay, but I was just wasting my time even after all the bouts of prayer and fasting I underwent. Anyway, like the Chestnut guy said, we can still be gay but sexually inactive with men and be faithful to our wives (when or if we get married, that is). First time I’m commenting here. Pink Panther, the long wait to see my story here is getting too long, I just hope I can see it a bit earlier. Thanks tho, for liking the story.

  6. poetryinspiredrebirth
    July 19, 09:55 Reply

    Being gay has no expiry date, if you are Gay you are Gay, the idea of this being suspended or expired is a myth and the pressure from society, culture and religion forces many to lie or live a lie about who they are. I too lived my life as a heterosexual for about seven years, I was even married to a woman, when I finally came out as gay, was when I knew the true meaning of happiness and whilst it is not easy because of my firm beliefs, as a Christian, respect for culture, I am gay and would never expire. We only expire when we give up to live out truly who we are as homosexuals.

  7. Chizzie
    July 19, 10:41 Reply

    I think some issues are better left ignored cause to me they are so silly and it will be demeaning on my part to entertain such discussions. I mean really? ? the expiry date of being gay? How about u put up more relevant and thought provoking issues for discussion…and then this issue of supposed inert “internal homophobia” that we all have, Has become such a recurrent theme here its almost like listening to a bad track on repeat. We get it…the vast majority of Nigerians haven’t come to terms w their sexualities; now can we move on to something else!

    • pinkpanthertb
      July 19, 11:09 Reply

      The day you run your own blog, you can do with it what you will. Oh that’s right. You did own a blog. Talk has it that its a failed one. Whatever happened? Bitched your readership away, did you?

      • Chizzie
        July 19, 13:51 Reply

        yes u are right. ..I once had a blog…While I was unemployed and idle..it was fun, and I played my role as a moderator effectively. ..not once did I throll around the comment section viciously attacking ppl… And it wasn’t a flop. I got employed and moved on with life. ..I still receive emails begging me to post something . anyways u guys can check it out… http://www.yougiveaphuck.wordpress.com 🙂

        • pinkpanthertb
          July 19, 17:12 Reply

          Oftentimes, I wish you’ll simply go away. Just evaporate from here. Just stop showing your virtual presence around here. The same way I wish I wouldn’t have to perceive the foul stench that pervades the track road I unfortunately have to take sometimes on my way to work.
          But the thing is, the people who live there have to shit. And so the foul stench remains. As do you. If only you could also move on with your fabulous life from this blog too. But you won’t.
          I’m still hoping.

        • pinkpanthertb
          July 19, 17:13 Reply

          And oh, I’m a good moderator, darling. I just don’t moderate well with you. There’s a difference.
          PS: Glad I could offer some free advertizing for your ‘failed’ blog

      • trystham
        July 19, 13:57 Reply

        *bows head* Remind me to behave myself on this space as from this moment. I’m humbled.

      • Chizzie
        July 19, 18:41 Reply

        often times I wish u would grow up and learn to take or ignore criticism,.however cynical it is! just because u penned something doesn’t mean everyone will like it; why should one person’s opinion bother u so much? or provoke u to the point where u unceremoniously act a fool as in this case. How often do u see Linda Ikeji exchanging words with a comment made on her blog? its so amateurish to the point of being unpalatable. ..plus it makes u seem really desperate. And then the bit about u falsely suggesting my blog was a flop was just such a low blow…I had little respect for u already, but after that I just see u as vermin..something not worth being acknowledged.

        and u are a horrid moderator, u whin like a child. ..you kvetch like a dog when criticism isn’t in ur favour, you take sides. U r just an uncool mess. Maybe u should go through the comments on my “failed blog” and see that not once did I retaliate when a comment wasn’t in my favour. ..I never even commented. and thanks for the publicity, not that I needed it. some of us have an actual life. .that doesn’t involve running an anonymous gay blog. I often wonder where u have the time and effort to maintain this blog… I’ll advise that in putting ur idleness to good use, learn to develop some level of charm and coolness and just ignore my comments. ..dummy!

        • pinkpanthertb
          July 19, 20:55 Reply

          I didn’t bother reading this looooong epistle. The same way I didn’t bother reading the loooong testament you emailed me. Actually, that’s how I will now commence dealing with you, not bothering to read anything you have to say.
          I was angry today, hence me deigning to sink to your level and exchanging words with you. It won’t happen again. Because I won’t be reading anything you have to say that will cause that to happen.
          Have a good night.

  8. Legalkoboko
    July 19, 10:49 Reply

    Before his death, my friend Bernard Ratigan was a gay English man who in his late 60s still lived with his gay partner.

    Can this guy give us any empirical evidence of what he claims? Or is this the usual guess work that informs all the homophobia (both internal and external ) in the world today?

  9. Khaleesi
    July 19, 13:53 Reply

    this is sad & another manifestation of the severe internalized homophobia that afflicts so many around here. I have known of a few gay guys who woke up one day and decided they wanted to gi straight, have girlfriends or wives or whatever or become ‘devoutly religious’ and a few months later they are back in the ‘gaybourhood’ with a bang! sexuality is a complex and extremely powerful force,yes it doesnt define you, but nevertheless, it is a huge part of who you are whether straight or gay! several times I have been asked whether its possible to stop being gay, and my honest answer to that question is ‘if its possible for a str8 man to stop being atttacted to and having sex with women, then its equally possible for a gay man to stop being gay’! sexuality is sexuality whichever way it swings. the notion that getting married to a woman quenches your desire for men is harmful and wrong, at best you might refrain from gay sexual activity, but the desire will always be there!! as for the guy who made the comment in this post, I hope to meet him someday when he’s ‘happily married to the woman of his dreams’ and ‘straight as a pole’

  10. QueerBoi
    July 19, 20:55 Reply

    Well, a few months back.. I would have commented the same way all of u have.. However.. The dude in d convo has a strong point.. Nt that being gay is a habit or hobby that u can just stop.

  11. daniel
    July 19, 21:56 Reply

    PinkPanther check this out lindaikeji.blogspot.com/2014/07/nigerian-gay-pastor-jide-macaulay-says.html?m=1

    • pinkpanthertb
      July 19, 22:11 Reply

      Saw. Lol. We follow each other on twitter and when I tagged him on this post, he seemed very interested. i’m glad he’s spreading the word. 🙂

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