More and more young Nigerian gay men these days are proclaiming their determination to preserve their sexuality. More and more are maintaining that they’d rather stay eternally single than bow to the pressure of getting married to women. Some are carrying on with relationships, loving the men in their lives, and have no intention of attaching an expiry date on their relationships simply because one day, “we’ll all get married.” Several entries ago, Dennis Macaulay even mentioned an acquiantance of his who has been living right here in Nigeria and carrying on for years with a live-in lover (even though the lover is a Westerner).
In the face of the country’s fierce homophobiia, it would seem the desired effect of having the Nigerian LGBT behave according to societal norms is backfiring, and instead there are manufactured a crop of gay Nigerians determined to live their truths.
But society will always be what it is, and men like these are like the quintessential Nigerian female. The older she gets and the further unmarried she remains, the more eyebrows are lifted and wagging tongues probe.
And it is for this reason that a KDian recently reached out with questions. He’s young, has a good job, and is avowed to never marry a woman. He also hopes to get into a longlasting relationship. But he has concerns: how do you survive as a perpetually single gay man or as one in a gay relationship? How do you manage to maintain your life away from the scrutiny of the public? How do you manage to stay a couple, living together away from the public’s nosiness?
“My question is directed more at those middle class gay folks who can’t afford to live in one of those ‘mind your business’ estates. I ask this because someone mentioned it in the passing that he knows some folks living like that in Nigeria – gay couples, live-in lovers.
“Whatever answers are proffered here could greatly help those of us who unfortunately cannot afford to leave the shores of Nigeria and arent planning on going down the straight married route.”
Well, do kindly share your thoughts, guys, as what you say can help direct someone’s life.