Like Bringing Milk To A Babe

Like Bringing Milk To A Babe

We were eleven. Actually, I was eleven and he was thirteen. Kids. Still naive to the world. Or maybe, that was what the world thought of us – sweet, little, innocent children.

But we weren’t all that.

Well, we weren’t evil in the true sense of the word, but I, especially, wasn’t this unsullied child that adults would’ve liked to believe me to be. I was exposed to a lot from a tender age. I’d started finding and watching my uncle’s straight porn CDs long before my eleventh birthday. And at that age, I’d long come to know about my attraction for the same sex. While watching my uncle’s porn, I was always enraptured by the male performers. My eyes bugged at the sight of how virile they were as they thrust into the women. How big their appendages looked when they were excited. I’d look at mine, so small and straining in response to what I was watching. The men were the only ones I saw. The only ones I craved to touch and hold. The only times the women mattered to me was when I wished to be them, being violently buggered by the thick-assed, savage men.

So yes, as a child, I knew things most adults would flinch to when revealed to them.

I was eleven and Solomon Ali was thirteen. Suleiman was his native name. As neighbours, he lived with his mother and two sisters, one of who was my age mate. His father had died when he was really young; we never got around to asking the cause. Solomon was a dark, lanky boy with a gorgeous face. He smiled a lot, at least with me. I was smitten by him.

We were three boys in the compound who were always seen together, but Chima wasn’t attractive, not to me anyway. He seemed drawn to me though, from the random suggestive games he always invented for us to play, which entailed me sitting on his laps and moving my hips. I knew he wanted me the way I wanted those men in my uncle’s porn. But I was eleven, and I wasn’t brave enough for any adventures.

Solomon was the centre of my world then. I would get home at the end of my day and drop into bed, and into my mental relishing of the moments I’d touched him or he’d held my hand just before we crossed the busy main road. I’d think about how he laughed that day, his deep and guttural when compared to my thin one.

For a long while, my show of friendship toward him remained like so – platonic on the surface and filled with desperate longing on the inside.

Then one day, tired of dying in silence, I dared myself and wrote a letter. It was a letter to him, a letter that was supposed to tell him how I felt, how I wanted him to kiss me in the evenings behind Mister Elias’ car. How I didn’t just want to be his friend like I was to Chima, but be the mummy to his daddy. I signed the letter as ‘Your Secret Admirer’ and sealed it inside an envelope address simply to ‘Solomon’. Then I put the letter on Chima’s window sill the following day, knowing he’d get it delivered immediately he saw Solomon’s name written on it.

Chima came out to our evening play with the letter, just like I knew he would. Solomon laughed heartily after he read it out loud, and Chima joined in. Even though my heart was breaking at his trivialization of my emotional outpouring, I also joined in the mirth, my laughter being the loudest and most mechanical. I even remember making a quip about how the ‘Secret admirer’ could be Vanessa – pompous, beautiful, fourteen-year-old Vanessa, who’d always had an eye for him but would never talk to him.

The levity died down after about thirty minutes of re-reading the letter – my letter – and making jokes over the content of the letter. Then we got back to the game we were playing on Solomon’s video game. Actually, they both played while I penned down scores just to be relevant.

Then came the day that was like any other; I’d just finished my chores at home, school wasn’t in session and my mother was ever willing to grant me permission to go see Solomon, permission she’d gotten generous with ever since I started hanging out with “my fellow boys”.

I left for Solomon’s house which was on the last floor of our building. Chima had gone out with his aunt that morning, so I had to go see Solomon on my own.

“He’s in his room,” Sarah, his immediate younger sister said when I came in and asked about him. “I think he’s bathing sha or watching games. See abeg I don’t know. Just go and check.” She waved me ahead into the house.

I made my way to Solomon’s bedroom, one he had all to himself. I went into the room after knocking a couple of times to no response from him. It was no wonder, considering that he was in the bathroom. I could hear the sound of the shower beating down, interspersed with the sound of him whistling the Ben 10 soundtrack. I went to his bed, picked up his phone and resumed playing the episode of Naruto that he had put on pause.

“Hey!”

I heard the exclamation and with a mild start, I turned to see Solomon walking into the bedroom from the bathroom.

“When did you get in?” he enquired as he adjusted his towel more securely around his waist.

Beads of water tracked their way down his body, which was sleek and fresh-looking with his maturing muscles that was already showing definition. He exuded a strong bouquet of the palm olive bath he’d just had, a scent that had my insides suddenly twirling with delight. The imprint of his flaccid dick through his towel made me instantly weak as I scrambled for a response to the question he’d asked.

He didn’t seem to anticipate an answer as he strolled about the room, getting ready to get dressed.

“Your sister let me in,” I was finally able to say.

He grunted his response.

A few minutes later, he was dressed, during which time I had thrown my body and soul into the Naruto game, striving hard not to stare at his penis when it flashed into view, at how dark the length of it was in sharp contrast with the pink, helmet-shaped head, and at how well-toned his dark, hairy thighs were.

He plopped himself down on the bed beside me. For some moments, he didn’t say anything to me, and the silence began to make me nervous, causing my heart to beat a little faster than usual. With a spurt of new determination, I kept my eyes on the Naruto in his phone.

And he watched me.

I could feel the burn of his stare on me, so heightened was my awareness of him. Before long, the atmosphere in the room had gotten taut with undercurrents of inexplicable emotions and my palms were sweaty. Questions roiled about in my mind: why isn’t he saying anything? Why is he staring at me like that? What is going on? And –

Oh my God, when did he get so close to me?

Yes, I’d been so wrapped up in my anxiety that I hadn’t noticed him sidle closer to me, so close that when I felt his nearness and the rush of his breath on my face, I turned and was startled to see that our faces were a hair’s breadth from each other, our lips a mere whisper away from the other.

I swallowed. Oh God now, what next?! My mind screamed at me.

He answered the unasked question when he took the phone from my hand, and without warning, pushed me backward so I was no longer lying on my belly but on my back.

Instinctively, I knew what was coming next, and my reaction shocked even me. As I slid around to my back, I turned my head to the other side, away from him, away from the curious feeling of helplessness I suddenly felt.

I wanted this. I knew what was about to happen, and I wanted it to. But something in me was suddenly revolted. I didn’t fight him though. I just lay there, my head turned away from him, and motionless.

He slid on top of me and with his hand on my chin, he inched my face around. His head began to dip forward. I saw it coming and I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to see him do what it was he was going to do.

He kissed me. The kiss was firm and seeking. It didn’t seem like it was his first. It was too sure, his lips and tongue moving too skillfully over mine, for it to be his first.

But the kiss was my first.

Fireworks sparked in my head and random particles in the atmosphere stood still. I could hear music, choruses and the distinct ‘ho-ho-ho’ of Father Christmas.

And then Solomon broke the kiss and pulled away. I felt empty, void, like someone had taken the light from my body. All I wanted in that moment was to reconnect our lips together again. He seemed to sense my need and bent his head again. We kissed again. This time, I kissed him fervently back. Our tongues dueled and fought for dominance; his searching and intruding, mine accepting and accommodating.

And then, in the middle of the passion, that feeling of helplessness overcame me again, and I was pushing him off. I struggled to regain my breath as I felt my soul slowly slip away from my body.

Solomon sat up as well, and there was a look of dejection etched on his face.

That expression undid me. I was feeling a riotous clash of conflicting emotions, wanting him and feeling revolted by him. The want however was winning as I watched him get up from the bed and go to stand against a wall. My gaze was arrested by his crotch, behind which his penis was standing, tented and straining within the confines of his knickers. I moved across the bed close to where he stood and reached for his crotch. He didn’t recoil from me.

However, immediately I grabbed a feel of his erection, I pulled away like I had been electrocuted.

He didn’t say anything, merely watched me.

Just then, a thought crossed my mind. A scene I had recently watched in one of my uncle’s numerous porn collections came searing through. I decided to try it out.

I stood up before him and raised my index finger to his face. I slowly ran the finger down the bridge of his nose while pressing my body against his. Groaning, he grabbed hold of my tiny buttocks as I slipped my finger into his mouth.

Then, not knowing what else to do, I stopped and moved away.

I was just eleven!

But my unknowing act of seduction broke Solomon out of his reserve. He got aggressive, picked me like I weighed no more than a coin and flung me onto the bed. He got on top of me again, both of us still fully clothed, and dry-humped me for several moments, until he began spasming over me. I later understood that he had ejaculated.

I didn’t cum. I simply got thoroughly kissed as I lay on my back and his head was often buried in the heat of my neck. When he was done jerking on top of me, he got up and started looking at me again with that same longing in his eyes.

I didn’t understand what that look meant. I didn’t ask him. I knew one thing though.

I wasn’t satisfied.

He looked satiated and happy, but I wasn’t. Frustration knotted inside me, and I bounded up from the bed and was out of the room before he could stop me. I ran all the way out of his house, ignoring Sarah’s ‘What is going on?’ as I darted through the parlour and Solomon’s ‘Please stop’ as he chased after me, running fast until I got up to my house and shut the door behind me.

Safely ensconced in my bedroom, I settled further into the frustration of all the things I was feeling. I was beset by a wide range of emotions – dissatisfaction at the intimacy Solomon and I had just shared, self deprecation at how speechless I’d been, not telling him how I wanted to be on that bed with him disbelief at the sudden wanting to be with him forever, even though I had no idea what forever was. I sat there and let my rioting emotions push me further down a hole of tears and self pity. I cried myself to sleep that night and swore never to step foot in Solomon’s house.

It was curious, how much I began to both desire and loathe Solomon in the days to come. I couldn’t explain it, and I didn’t want to face him with such incomprehension in my heart. So I began avoiding him, not once visiting him or going out to hang with him and Chima.

And then school resumed, and that made it easy for me to avoid him. Some weeks after school resumed, I got home from school to the news that the Alis had moved out.

Chima told me. And as I gaped at him, I felt the news hit me with a force that I didn’t see coming. Solomon was gone?! I could not believe it.

“Solomon left without telling us?” I said to Chima. I knew I’d been avoiding him, but I could not believe he would just up and leave without making the effort to let me know his family was relocating. I’d always expected him to make an effort to get the attention I was so determinedly denying him.

“He told me o,” Chima said. “He didn’t tell you?”

I shook my head, while struggling with the misery that was overcoming me rapidly. He didn’t tell me! He didn’t tell me! You fool! You brought this on yourself! I silently berated myself.

As if to punctuate that admonishment, Chima said, “Ehn, shebi he said you don’t use to talk to him again. Maybe that is why.” And just then, his aunt hollered his name. And he was off.

Just in time, because my tears had started to fall. The tears I’d been holding back since Chima delivered the news to me, since I realised I may never set eyes on Solomon again, since I began to understand that I may have lost the first love to come to me.

Solomon and I have not seen or spoken to each other since then till now.

Written by Delle

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Previous Brent Corrigan Thinks James Franco’s ‘King Cobra’ Demonstrates Contempt For Queer Culture
Next 1213

About author

You might also like

Our Stories 40 Comments

Kito Fairies with Bisi Alimi (Edition 1)

Since Kito Fairies with Bisi Alimi was launched on this forum December 2nd, I have received a ton of emails from many people. It is safe to say that the

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Our Stories 22 Comments

HOMOPHOBIA AND TRANSPHOBIA ON THE NIGERIAN RADIO

Quite often these days, I have been listening to Nigerian radio online. Never mind the popcorn music and hyperbolic ads; I reckon that I would be rich by now if

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Our Stories 12 Comments

That Piece About The Gay Community And Humanity

Originally published on johnpavlovitz.com A year or so ago this blog post, about how I’d respond if I learned that my children were gay totally blew up, allowing me an

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

44 Comments

  1. ambivalentone
    October 06, 07:38 Reply

    Funny, ALL my pre-pubescent years crushes were girls until I got into junior school and saw a senior in all his nude glory. It was like my reset button/switch had been flipped??????

    Swallow ur pride and ask Chima for his contact (I’ll bet they’d still be friends or something) OR Snap out of it??

    • Delle
      October 06, 10:30 Reply

      Actually, Chima and his aunt relocated a year after and I’ve since not seen him.

      And you used to have crushes on girls?! Please, who is the creator of my own gayness? He was too strict…

  2. swanky
    October 06, 07:40 Reply

    … You took me way back memory lane, only that mine was a bit more erotic n intense. Come to think of it, I was only 6 n he was 9… (Tears of joy)

    • Pink Panther
      October 06, 07:50 Reply

      My God! People were spwelling while other people were trying out their ABCs! ???

    • Mandy
      October 06, 08:00 Reply

      Swanky, you were not only born this way. In fact, God was about to create you and said, ‘Let’s make this one in our gay image.’
      6 years?! Toh! ???

  3. swanky
    October 06, 08:02 Reply

    Mandy, I seriously woke up LIKE THIS.
    lol

  4. Mandy
    October 06, 08:02 Reply

    Solomon must be so hot now. Delle, what are you still slacking for?
    Solomon! In case you’re reading this, contact PP for my contact details. I promise not to go Delle on you. ??

  5. posh6666
    October 06, 08:08 Reply

    Nawao Delle how old are u exactly? Cos i’m damn sure when a lot of us here were 11yrs old phones were barely existing in Nigeria talk more of having a naruto capable phone..What year were you 11yrs old exactly pls?

    • Keredim
      October 06, 09:51 Reply

      Don’t enjoy the story, you hear!

      Be doing “due diligence there.

      Keep trying to authenticate the veracity of the story.

      ????

    • ambivalentone
      October 06, 10:26 Reply

      So that when he does tell y’all, you can pull the “I am older than you so I must have better sense’ card when it’s obvious a bigger cranium doesn’t translate into more grey matter? I think not.

      Adelechukwu, was this a PHONE, an MP4 player, or a Gameboy? Now I think on it, phones with such abilities didn’t land Nigeria until much much later. Still kpakpa yet, Sulaimon sounds like a privileged kid even with his Father’s demise. Silence your enemies now or forever hold ur peace??

      • Delle
        October 06, 10:36 Reply

        Lol Ambi. It was a phone and he was playing the cartoon series.
        Not a game (don’t even know anything about games).

      • KingBey
        October 11, 08:17 Reply

        You’re cleared. That puts the year at 2007. I was writing my Uni project then and I was using a Sagem MyX 7. I don old shaa ooo

        • posh666
          October 11, 09:17 Reply

          Hahaha and I was in my 200lvl using a motorola razr.

  6. KryxxX
    October 06, 08:51 Reply

    Akuko ifo!

    When social media is alive and kicking? I’m very sure Delle is stalking the living daylight out of Solomon right now. Lol!

    As for crushing and doing stuffs, some of can’t even remember what age we started oh!

    Giving BJ’s in class whilst a teacher is in without even knowing what bj means! **shudders **. We shaa know it was sweet??. But now **sigh **, even in a locked apartment self, my heart will be beating tudum tudum! Acute case of Francis Paranoia Syndrome(FPS).?

    • Pink Panther
      October 06, 09:05 Reply

      That disease has a name? ??? Our scientists are such hardworkers. What’s next, a cure?

      • KryxxX
        October 06, 10:08 Reply

        Trust me, Francis is actually heading the team researching and looking for the cure oh!, Even him haff kukuma tire self. ?

      • Keredim
        October 06, 10:15 Reply

        Oh there is a cure… But its too graphic to put on here.????

    • Delle
      October 06, 10:42 Reply

      Kryxx o, you won’t believe I do not have his social media handle. I don’t even know what his name is on facebook. It’s sad really.
      Last I heard, he is abroad to further his education.

    • Francis
      October 09, 10:04 Reply

      You’re just a goat! ???????????

  7. Bain
    October 06, 09:05 Reply

    nawa oooh.
    …11yrs kwa ooh….6yrs ncha….ogini di…I just started like last year n am almost 18….all these erotic thoughts dinnor enter my head as a pikin.

    • posh666
      October 06, 09:12 Reply

      Almost 18ke? Nawao so many small pikins dem on this blog una don tear eye finish.

      • Bain
        October 06, 09:17 Reply

        lol….ehhn ppl Dan started naking at d age of 11 n 6….nko….

        • posh666
          October 06, 09:23 Reply

          My diya trust me i’m not judging! I actually started doing jigi jigi with Bolaji,my younger brothers friend and some few other little boys back then who were family friends and cousins even before I started releasing sperm or entered secondary school.

          We would just grind againt each other till we tire and we enjoyed it so much…I continued with this till I entered an fgc secondary skul and I remember very vividly the night I had my very first release in jss2 at age 12….

          • Bain
            October 06, 09:34 Reply

            “doin jigi jigi with bolaji”…lol…funny peps.

    • Jide
      October 06, 11:12 Reply

      Barely 18? Sigh. I always assumed you were older.

        • Jide
          October 06, 11:40 Reply

          From some of your older comments, you sounded like someone that’s been around longer than 18 years.

  8. Lorde
    October 06, 14:43 Reply

    Awww….. soo sad, but Ben 10? How old ARE you???!

    • edo
      October 07, 01:08 Reply

      Am telling you. No idea of those cartoons. shit am old!

  9. Chuck
    October 07, 10:50 Reply

    Sex at 6, 11? I hope you didn’t do anything unsafe as a kid. There are many predators that will fuck raw and spread disease. You also want to be emotionally ready

    • Delle
      October 07, 11:51 Reply

      There was no penetrative sex. Nothing out of the ordinary until I attained adulthood. This is just an experience I wished had turned out differently from how it did.

  10. KingBey
    October 11, 08:23 Reply

    All the while I read this, I kept thinking about my kid brother who’s 14. I just hope he hasn’t started doing any jigi jigi with anyone oooo. Hian ! Umu azii of these days.

    • Pink Panther
      October 11, 08:30 Reply

      He’s 14 and of this generation, and you are still here hoping he hasn’t started doing jigi jigi with anyone? lol

      • posh666
        October 11, 09:15 Reply

        Lool my dear this endtime generation children.Thats how my friend and I saw some of his neigbours kids giving each other bj under their staircase and I swear those kids can’t be more than 11yrs old.
        I was devastated !

          • posh666
            October 11, 10:10 Reply

            My dear for this kain endtimes wetin we for do na?we just went about our business and pretended we didn’t see anything…

            This kain thing you go do tatafo tell the parents,the mother go just change am for you and probably pour you hot water…In such matters one has to be very careful.

            I mean it would have been a different case had it been they were family members or an adult making a child perform blowjob on him…I would have informed the parents but in this scenario it’s best you ignore and mind ur bizness…

            After all when I was their age I was already doing bad things too and I would have been very angry had it been one amebo uncle caught me and reported me to my parents.

            I’m a Scorpio and can be very unforgiving so I know I will always hate such a person that told on me.

            • Francis
              October 11, 10:13 Reply

              Lol. I was thinking in line of sitting them down and talking small sense to them….you never can tell if na abuse of one of the parties don dey start so. *my mind don begin travel* ???

              Reporting the matter na no-no for me especially if them no be your family like you rightly said

              • posh666
                October 11, 11:50 Reply

                Honestly there is no chance of even sitting them down.You know those kind of areas where everybody minds their business and just the polite hi’s and hello’s when you happen to cross paths with the parents…Cos this days those small small children sef no dey fit greet again,they will just be staring into ur eyes waiting for you to 1st talk to them.

                So there is no avenue for us to even sit and talk.

  11. The naughty one
    October 12, 03:27 Reply

    Hmmmmm….I don’t remember quite well but I know when I went to stay with my grandmother when I was like 5,6… Their neighbour child sucked my dick and I sucked theirs too..I can’t even remember their face or name….but I remember doing plenty bad things when I small sha

Leave a Reply