I once updated a story (fiction) here about a Nigerian guy who found love with his wealthy European school-mate, who he met abroad during studies. As a refresher, the story is titled ‘THE WHITE CHRISTMAS’ (Click HERE to read). I gave the story a happily-ever-after finish, and some people, commenters and friends, scoffed at that. The general contention was that African gay men don’t do love. And they certainly do not do happily-ever-afters. A slew of friends bombarded my BBM with lectures to prove that point. If it is not kowtowing to what society expects of all men, a friend of mine argued, it is the fact that we are not fashioned to think of men being with men for the long haul. It’s just not in our psyche to buy into the concept of gay marriage, or anything as remotely long-lasting as that.

I disagreed then. I still disagree now. I’m a romantic, not an incurable one though, but I believe that societal demands notwithstanding, it is possible for an average African gay man or lesbian to find someone, love someone and stick with that someone, undisturbed with what society expects.

Yea, well, maybe not in this continent, I’ll concede that. But it is possible.

A friend of mine who schools in a more exotic part of Africa recently told me the story you’ll read below about love in the gaybourhood. It’s a short one. But something I felt I should share.

Read and share your thoughts.


This is something so unusual in the gaybourhood, the community that I’m familiar with anyway. I have a friend, he is from Togo. But he studied in Morocco, as I do. He is in his mid twenties, as I am.

Sometime in the middle of last year, we were both in my room. And he got a message from this Spanish guy in his Planet Romeo account. He logged in and they started chatting, the Spanish guy was in his late twenties.

Days passed, weeks passed, rolling into months, and they were still in touch. At some point, they exchanged phone numbers and started speaking to each other over the phone. Contact through Facebook and skype was there too. It continued like that until early this year, at which time about six months had elapsed in their virtual relationship.

And then, the guy came to visit my friend here from Spain. It was his first time to come to Africa, and my friend and I were at the airport to welcome him. I was present throughout the visit, and it all seemed to me like a dream. They spent all of the one-month-and-two-weeks (the Spanish guy’s work leave) getting to know each other more, and enjoying their company thoroughly.

And then, it was time for the Spanish guy to leave. Before he left however, he bought a pair of rings for them, and they got engaged. He’d proposed and my friend had agreed to marry him.

Around May, my friend graduated from school and joined him in Spain. They got married this September, and they both now live and work in Spain.

Meanwhile, my friend’s family in Togo knows nothing about him and his new life. They just think their son had found greener pastures in Spain and is now residing there. They have no idea what is actually going on, the life he has fashioned for himself. He is now a legal citizen of Spain by marriage, with a husband, a happy marriage, and residing in a gay friendly environment. He is happy, comfortable and free to express himself as a gay man.

What else can he ask for?


What else, indeed. Now this is the kind of gay story that makes me both misty-eyed and green-eyed at the same time. What about you, my brethren? Let us discuss about love in the gaybourhood.

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