It IS Possible To Be Gay, Fat And Happy. Just Ask This Guy.

It IS Possible To Be Gay, Fat And Happy. Just Ask This Guy.

Is it possible to be gay, fat, and happy? According to Martijn, a magazine editor from Amsterdam, the answer is yes. But it took him a while to get there.

In a new video produced by Davey Wavey, Martijn talks about the fat shaming he’s been subjected to over the years by other gay men, and the impact it’s had on him.

“I just remember being on the gay dating websites and having lots of guys really confirm the idea that I already had; that I was undesirable,” he recalls. “One guy sent a message to me saying: ‘Look at your profile picture, then look at my profile picture again and then decide if you really think it was a good idea to send me a message.’”

Other people made a point to send him unsolicited messages telling him how “ugly” they thought he was.

“I could not equate being overweight with being happy,” he says. “Those two things just never went together in my head.”

That is, until he found a community where he was accepted: Bears! And their admirers.

“Gradually I started dating guys that I think probably would call themselves ‘chasers’ and who really, finally gave me the feeling that I was desirable, that I wasn’t insignificant, and that I had something to offer,” he says. “Maybe two or three years ago was the first time when I looked in the mirror and actually thought: ‘You actually look kind of hot today!’”

Martijn says that have bouts of insecurity when stepping into gay bars and seeing mostly “muscled, defined or slim” guys, but he no longer feels ashamed by his own looks.

Check out the inspiring video below…

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34 Comments

  1. Witch
    October 11, 07:10 Reply

    ‘Look at your profile
    picture, then look at my profile picture again and then decide if you
    really think it was a good idea to send me a message.’”

    lmao!!!!!!!!! hahahahaha! this is mean! damn. well, personally, I’m not attracted to fat people, that doesn’t mean I’d go about making them feel bad or unattractive. I’m super skinny, so i prefer them muscular, with the chest and smooth abs. they might not even be muscular, I just don’t want to see any paunch.

    • IBK
      October 11, 09:20 Reply

      The second paragraph almost sounds like a grindr bio ?

  2. Mandy
    October 11, 07:37 Reply

    Until Orobo Hunter’s post her eon KD, i didn’t even know there were Nigerian gay men who found the fat ones attractive. Nice to know not all in the community are stuck on the image of big, buff and beautiful.

  3. doe eyed monster
    October 11, 08:01 Reply

    Lol.. .to be fat and happy, you should see this guy in unilag.. He is big.. And has like the biggest rainbow wig ever.. .never takes a moment not to throw the wig in peoples faces.. .lol… He seems really happy (I hope he does not cry in his room at night though cause I hear his hostel guys can be mean atimes) but if there is someone who is fat and happy, he is the only one on my mind.

    • Jide
      October 11, 12:07 Reply

      I think I know him.

  4. esv.jay
    October 11, 08:35 Reply

    fat and happy? these fat people should all stop pretending. deep down they know they are miserable and not happy. how can ypu even be fat and happy?

    • doe eyed monster
      October 11, 08:39 Reply

      Are you done? Can I escort you to your several seats now? Thanks for your input.

    • Bain
      October 11, 08:55 Reply

      c’mon naw….wats ur own….

    • Delle
      October 11, 09:13 Reply

      Sometimes esv.jay, try not to be so loud in your stupidity. There’s a reason you have a minuscule of brain in that skull of yours and it would be a shame if you do not use it.
      There are LOTS of fat people who walk that walk and talk the talk on a daily! “Big, Bold and Beautiful” there’s a reason it exists.
      How could you be so bony and yet stupid?

    • IBK
      October 11, 09:24 Reply

      This is obviously a comment by an attention seeking hoe.
      Just because you need to look good on the outside to feel good about your miserable existence doesn’t mean other people are same.
      Go suck on a dildo and stop spreading negativity.

      • Francis
        October 11, 13:49 Reply

        This ???. Low self esteem has done a huge number on this esv ????

  5. Delle
    October 11, 09:06 Reply

    ” ‘Look at your profile picture, then
    look at my profile picture again and then decide if you
    really think it was a good idea to send me a message.’”

    Jesus, how evil! The burning shade!

    Ugly, fat, slim, skinny, botoxed and what have you…you can only be appreciated if you firstly appreciate and love yourself. No one needs a nod of acceptance from outside folks, give yourself all the love and others would trickle in.

    OAN, I actually find Bear porn kinda sexy. #okbye

  6. Henrie
    October 11, 09:37 Reply

    How will you be fat and happy when you’ve sworn that your happiness is dependent on what asshole finds you attractive?

    It doesn’t work that way. The only happiness that endures is the one you find in yourself. That is the only happiness you truly need. It is the only happiness that matters…

  7. Opani
    October 11, 09:42 Reply

    So because I’m fat /chubby I should commit suicide…. I think I’ve had enough body shaming and depression to last me a lifetime

  8. Mandeville
    October 11, 12:27 Reply

    I’m not particular about the kind of man I’d like but there has to be a healthy dose of brain. Whether he’s as hairy as a gorilla, as chubby as a sumo wrestler, as fit as the younger Hemsworth brothers, as rich as Scrooge McDuck or as ancient as time, if there’s no brain in the driving seat, me and my house will be on the ??. Although I certainly won’t mind if he is fit, furry and fabulous with enough grey, white or rainbow matter in his cranium to hold a decent non-sexual conversation for, at least, a half hour. ??

    • ambivalentone
      October 11, 14:39 Reply

      Preach. But then I find most gym crazed buffs and muscle-men are the gay version of bimbos – bodies to die for and brains to keep u dead??

      • Mandeville
        October 11, 16:56 Reply

        I’m about 81kg with less than 12% body fat but I’m also an unapologetic bear chaser. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I’m smoother than the oiled scalp on Dwayne Johnson’s head; the only hairy parts of my body are my head, pits and crotch and I’m closer to 30 than 20. I think the fact that 3 years ago, I was a lanky beanstalk who often got passed on by guys made me a better person in my relationships with other people and emphasised the truth that the brain is the biggest sex organ.

  9. Keredim
    October 11, 14:31 Reply

    Bottom line – be comfortable with your body. If you don’t like it do your best change it, if it is within your means.?

    Also there is someone for everyone.

    The Gay internet dating scene can be harsh. Most guys specify their preferences in their profile. If you don’t meet the stated preferences, why bother sending them a message??

    I come across profiles saying “White only” (Yes even some black guys state that too). Why would I now carry my head and send a message to that profile? Am I hoping they would change their mind? Or is it to swap baking recipes?

    It is like flying into a No fly zone. The authority that created the restriction around the area, has every right to shoot you down in whatever manner they see fit.

    We always have Our Version of Events . Unfortunately, we will never know whether the person who handed him the slap down stated his preferences on the profile or not.

    My two cents – Don’t just ogle the picture…READ the fucking profile as well.
    ????

    • ambivalentone
      October 11, 14:42 Reply

      “…READ the fucking profile…” I believe!!!??????

    • Francis
      October 11, 14:52 Reply

      KD’s Lord of Grindr has spoken ????

    • Xavier
      October 11, 20:00 Reply

      I agree with you for once. Lol.

  10. pete
    October 11, 15:47 Reply

    I was skinny in the university. I hated my physique, I yearned for some fat. Fast forward to now and I’m on the plus side & perfectly happy.?

    • ambivalentone
      October 11, 18:38 Reply

      These are the kind of testimonies that terrify me. I refuse it!! I reject it! Ha!!! Ori mi ko. Skinny is better (ayam not fat-shaming anyone o)

  11. swanky
    October 11, 16:54 Reply

    It shouldn’t take you eternity to get comfortable in your own skin. Love yourself n bear it in mind that there’s always someone for you.

  12. Kennedy
    October 11, 18:48 Reply

    Which one be fat and happy….. Wait till u end up with obesity and come disturb some poor doctor in our already dead hospitals…. Den u understand being fat aint no goo tin!

  13. YOU-KNOW-WHO
    October 11, 21:53 Reply

    Yet.. the skinny ones ain’t got nothing on the fat ones when it comes to getting the hottest dudes around. Abegi make I hear word

    The hottest people around aren’t on KD anyways. So I’m sure these fat ones aren’t losing any sleep from comments of a few Ug’s
    Tsk! Tsk!

    • Keredim
      October 12, 06:46 Reply

      “Yet.. the skinny ones ain’t got nothing on the fat ones when it comes to getting the hottest dudes around”

      I think the comments are based on a scenario where we don’t have to pay hot guys for sex.

      ??????

      • YOU-KNOW-WHO
        October 12, 07:09 Reply

        We use money to get good houses, fast cars, expensive Shits… why should hot dudes be excluded.

        Granny take several sits abeg.

        • Keredim
          October 12, 07:59 Reply

          When I saw you write ‘sits’ rather than ‘seats’, I realised there was no point trying to rationalise your doltish rebuttal.

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