MUSING WITH DARLENE: THE CRUSH

MUSING WITH DARLENE: THE CRUSH

As I write this, I am still staring at the pictures on the Facebook page of Seun Sean Jimoh. Up till a few days back, my radar hadn’t picked his sonar signals up until I watched the episode of Jenifer’s Diary where he was featured, and I had to go and Facebook him out instantly.

Oh mi gosh! Such deliciousness! Such chocolate goodness! Those pecs defining a chest you just want to lay your head down on while having him coo sweet nothings into your ear. Those warm brown eyes that melt your soul – and don’t get me started on those lips. For the sake of my rabid imaginations, I do hope he is well hung down there, because if he’s not, my mind, who is halfway through ravishing him, would be very disappointed.

I like to crush on people I know I most likely would never have the opportunity of meeting, people who are positioned so I would never be able to go after them. For me, it’s sort of an escape, a peep into the ideal world where the hunks, blokes and drop-dead-gorgeous dudes of this world would not be ashamed to be seen in the loving hold of someone of the same sex, if that’s what they desire. You see, in this world, anything is possible. Absolutely anything, I tell you. A few years ago, in this world, Tuface ditched Annie McCauley and proposed to me instead. I so cannot tell you how many atrocities I have committed with a coterie of men; my body count boasts the likes of RMDs, Maurice Chestnut, Joseph Benjamin, Yul Edochie, Olamide and Lynxxx. Speaking of, where is Pat Attah? If anyone sees him, kindly tell him I had fun the last time we romped.

It’s not bad thing to have a crush on whomever, although where it gets tricky is what we decide to do with the crush. I choose to crush on celebrities and a few others I won’t have the effrontery to approach to proposition, this as a way of keeping myself checked by the impossibility of such a happenstance. Maybe the reason for this could be psychological, as my first crush ever made all my dreams come true when he came on to me before I could mine the courage to go to him; then he made sweet love to me a number of times, and then proceeded to blackmail me. Jude, you see ehn, may you never find love wherever you are! (Story for another day) Maybe that’s why I crawled into my shell and kept my crushes away from the common masses and only for the stars, up there on their pedestals where they are tucked away safe within me. And hey, it works for me.

I know that for some of us, our crushes are too close for comfort and we die so many times inside. More often than not, that’s what propels us and gives us the courage to go for it. Well this is my advice – BE CAREFUL! Always consider what your exit strategy is should it go south. And make sure you are not risking too much, as I have discovered that you just might lose the friendship all together. Always have a factor that holds you back and makes you think twice.

I’d like to hear from you if you do not mind. Tell me about your crush.

Written by Darlene Sirilo Johnson

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9 Comments

  1. Mandy
    March 11, 07:05 Reply

    ‘You see, in this world, anything is possible. Absolutely anything, I tell you. A few years ago, in this world, Tuface ditched Annie McCauley and proposed to me instead.’

    LMAO! Can I become a citizen of this world? Lawd knows I’ve been wanting to get my hands on Peter Okoye for a long time now.

  2. Max 2.1
    March 11, 09:56 Reply

    “Always consider what your exit strategy is should it go south. And make sure you are not risking too much,”

    With a mindset like that, its no wonder you’re left with fairy tales and 2514568 crushes.

  3. grass
    March 11, 10:00 Reply

    Trey songs,boris kodjoe,klaus of originals (imagine his pink lips eating me out,and moaning with his perfect British accent**shivers**) and things I’ll do too dbanj,peter okoye,just bieber,alfred Enoch and Zayn malik ehn!chai!if only some fantasies can become reality

    • Terra
      March 11, 10:52 Reply

      One can moan with an accent?

  4. grass
    March 11, 10:06 Reply

    wait wait wait,i just saw the seun guy,tha hell? tell him comb is just #50 naira! looking unkept!

  5. Candy Man
    March 11, 10:48 Reply

    You people are just mentioning gay celebrities in Nigeria upandan… Yes, most of them are! #okaybye

    • omis
      March 11, 18:23 Reply

      We or sorry I keep hearing that but never seeing any. No not one. Am a seeing is believing kinda person so yeah bye.

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