It was after office hours and almost everyone else had gone home. I was alone at the workplace. I decided do some writing, you know, get back on that horse that is my KD column called Musing with Darlene. I honestly have missed contributing to this column – sending in entries and hoping Pinky finds nothing wrong with the submission, knowing that if I’m lucky, I’ll get the thumbs-up and subsequently the charge to be more engaging with my readers. (A real Madam Editrix, that one). I also get a thrill from the comments, relishing how opinions vary from pole to pole. I really do enjoy every bit of it.
The reason I had to go on a short sabbatical was because I was going through so much with work, family and all. Not news, right? After all, we all go through stuff every now and then. The thing is I write from within and I often have to tap into my emotions to get my creative juice flowing and angry emotions mean angry articles, and sad feelings mean sad entries. It is okay to indulge all that negativity every now and then, but we can’t have too many angry or sad entries on here now, can we? I simply did not want to take you all through too much of that journey. Plus my laptop was going through an emotional trauma of its own.
I have lost faith in people. I still cannot believe this has finally happened to me because I like to think that I am one of those who hold on to the firm belief that there is a degree of good in people. I used to be very trusting, so expectant. All that has however changed. My optimistic view of people has been skewered. I have learnt the hard way that people will always disappoint, and I’m not talking about matters of the heart alone. I am talking about general life issues. Day after day, I have come to learn the lesson that at the end of the day, the one true person you can rely on is yourself. People are just shitty. Perhaps someday, I’ll revert back to seeing the good in them, I’ll regain my optimism for humanity. But right now, a low or zero expectancy from my human environment ensures the absence of disappointments. This I now know.
Skinny Girls In Transit is a show I am SO digging right now – and for so many reasons too. First of all, the storyline is simply awesome – well written and well thought out. I can relate to it on so many levels. There’s the disadvantage that Tiwa, the lead character, suffers in her weight issues. I do not have weight issues, but I relate with Tiwa’s perceived disadvantage with respect to my sexuality.
Plus she’s an OAP, and so am I.
And then there’s the cast. Mehn, the boys are PHAINNNNN! The ladies aren’t bad either too. But I’m here for the male eye candy.
Look, I could go on and on about this amazing internet series, but I know you already get the gist – I LOVE IT! It has been my weekend starter in the past few days. I kick back with each episode every Friday night when I get home from work. If you haven’t heard of it, you should check it out. It’s great stuff. I can’t wait for Season 3 to come out.
I am also loving work. Especially since I am doing more of it now and drowning myself in it. It is about the only thing that keeps me happy these days, so it’s really a plus that I love what I do. My colleagues are not bad either. We mostly agree on a lot of issues, that is if the demons in Ann’s head don’t go on overdrive and make her step on my toes the way she’s prone to do. Two of us are almost always at each other’s throats in recent times, and my boss seems to think it’s a battle for supremacy. That simply isn’t it; she’s just plain stupid. The woman likes to make a statement to me that she is ‘agaracha must come’, and me sef dey make am know say I be ‘gbagbati’.
More opportunities are coming my way at work too. I guess it pays off that way.
However, there’s no current love interest. Nah! I’m giving up on that gradually even. Guys are not just worth all the trouble at all. I will get good sex when I am in the mood for a shake down and that will be it. I try to convince myself that’s all I need when I begin to feel the ache of loneliness. Casual hookups can only do so much. There are many voids that it cannot fill the way companionship does. But then, I think about the stress of dating and I tell myself I’m good with the way things are.
That all said, I’m happy I’m back. For longer this time, I pray.
Darlene Sirilo Johnson