My Take On The Movie ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’

My Take On The Movie ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’

I got home after class and I was super bored. So I decided to go see a movie. I got to the cinema and then I made a dash to the movie counter, went through the movie list and finally settled for Fifty Shades Of Grey, because I wanted to see what made everyone so excited about the movie.

I got into the movie hall after getting my popcorn from this hot guy, (*blush*), went up to the last seat in the row, and got settled, coolly waiting for the movie to start so I could start criticizing.

Twenty minutes later, I began regretting settling down for the movie. I was bored. So I took my bag and my popcorn and got up to leave the movie hall.

On my way out, he – Christian Grey – finally spoke…said something intriguing and hot. Christian was trying to get Anastasia to agree to his kind of sex, and after doing that, he says, “When I am through with you, you won’t be able to sit for a week.” And I was like, OhMyGod!

So I settled back down and resumed watching.

Soon, in another scene, Anna asked Christian if he was going to make love to her immediately and Christian replied with these words that touched me in so many places; he says, “I don’t make love, I FUCK…” And then, Christian takes her to his playroom which is filled with all kinds of equipments used for bondage sex, and I was like, Lets gerrit on, baby! Then Christian tells Anna that he would love to fuck her into the middle of next week. And I was still mesmerized. Then Christian takes off his shirt and trousers, and I mentally screamed, “Blad of Jeyzzuz!” The actor – Jamie Dornan, I think his name is – has cakes that will make any bottom jealous. (Just saying though)

And then, the sex started and I fell for Christian. The remaining parts of the movie were just sex scenes and all.

So, my opinion: please, endeavour not to watch this movie, Fifty Shades Of Porn – er, sorry, Grey – alone o! The sex scenes are able to turn you on from Sunday to Sunday. And then, who would you turn to, to cool your libido if you watched it alone? That’s right, no one but your right hand. Lol. So, go see Christian Grey in action, and be sure to take a Boo along with you.

Written by lluvmua

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47 Comments

  1. Dennis Macaulay
    February 20, 04:25 Reply

    Wait oh! Is it showing in Nigerian cinemas already?

    ****accepts lastma jacket*****

    I will see it tomorrow then!

    • pinkpanthertb
      February 20, 04:46 Reply

      I was under the impression that the movie isn’t so good tho. critics weren’t too kind to it.

      • Dennis Macaulay
        February 20, 04:55 Reply

        I loved the book but I know that when a book I turned into a movie it hardly turns out well. Half of a yellow sun was a huge disappointment.

        Leave critics sha, there is a lot of politics involved. Watch for yourself and decide

      • Ace
        February 20, 07:06 Reply

        Critics are killing the movie like no tomorrow. They are saying it didn’t live up to the hype, it was a poor representation of the book and so on. I hope to see it soon but I would love to read the book first.

  2. Mitch
    February 20, 04:43 Reply

    OMG! Now that is what I missed watching on the 14th coz of momsie!

    50, 50, 50! If I no watch this movie, na die! As for ‘Le Boo’, won’t be going with one

  3. Max
    February 20, 05:14 Reply

    Hahahahahaha.. Almost saw it on 14th with a friend @ the cinema. Thank God I didn’t.

    • simba
      February 20, 05:44 Reply

      Why thank god u didn’t?.. on de 14th…

      • Deola
        February 20, 07:05 Reply

        Max your new ‘DP’ is pretty cool! I like

        • Gad
          February 20, 08:02 Reply

          I think the gratitude for this new dp should go to Chizzie

      • Max
        February 20, 10:04 Reply

        @Delola, thanx.
        @Gad, why chizzie?

        • Gad
          February 20, 10:58 Reply

          I felt it was his reference to the appearance of your former dp that led to the change

    • Gad
      February 20, 06:04 Reply

      This your new dp got me laughing

      • Max
        February 20, 06:21 Reply

        @Simba, lol. #Afriend, @Gad, wonder why.

      • Max
        February 20, 11:59 Reply

        Referenced it, when? I have no idea what you’re talking about ..puzzled

  4. Mercury
    February 20, 06:05 Reply

    Those lines that supposedly got you interested….. Those cheesy lines, I read em and decided that movie was cheese fest. Fifty shades of corny.

  5. Lothario
    February 20, 06:15 Reply

    Oh wow! This is the first good review I’m reading….. everyone has been crying that they wasted money seeing it.

    Good you had fun!

  6. Deola
    February 20, 07:02 Reply

    I had a choice between seeing this or Kingsman:the secret service on vals day, thank heavens I chose Kingsman. The movie was wonderfully fun, it didnt stop to slow down, it was on full speed from start to finsh.
    Plus the lead Actor Taron Egerton was all kinds of hot it made my head spin.
    Kingsman is basically a british comedy love child of James bond and John Wick.

    I have read the first book and i was always against the adaptation of this book into a movie, there just isnt that much of a story there, you gotta remember that Fifity Shades started out as Twilight fan fiction, so most of what it has going for it is the sex scenes, the BDSM, which from what I hear was toned down in the movie. If i am not watching it for its storyline, then it should be for the sex scenes, take away both and i have lost all interest.

    In the end its really doing well at the box office, making tons of money, which means a sequel is on the way. Thats what counts in the end, the money it makes not what the critics say.

    Now we all know why Charlie Hunam dropped out, niggah probably read the script and was like ‘hell naw, I’m out’. Which is a shame because while I adore Jaime Dornan, Charlie would have made a better Christain Grey.

    Btw if you have a choice see kingsman instead of Fifty shades at the cinema, trust me its worth it.

    • Dennis Macaulay
      February 20, 07:17 Reply

      Deola you should be a film critic! Start writing a blog where you critic movies and shows. Rupert Everret has nothing on you

      • Paul
        February 20, 11:40 Reply

        I was going to say he shuld have a column on ds blog whr he starts analysing, and telling us abt movies frequently.
        Den from there u cn go to d nxt level!

      • Deola
        February 20, 16:40 Reply

        Hmmmm, sounds like fun.
        We’ll see…

    • Colossus
      February 20, 14:59 Reply

      Deola I should have listened to you, I really should have listened. Kingsman is a far better choice, I guess I’ll see it soon

  7. Absalom
    February 20, 07:19 Reply

    I went to see 50 Shades on Monday but was told it shows only at night and since I don’t do night waka, I just ate my ice cream quietly and left. Money saved. Grateful!

    I’ll just wait for the free torrent.

    Something tells me a lot of Nigerian men will love it – including those who think “bondage” necessarily means what their pastor says in church about the devil chaining people. (lol)

    When will they produce a gay version, though? Sigh. 🙁

    • Mercury
      February 20, 07:29 Reply

      Lol…..you’re all kinds of messy right now.

    • Verified
      February 20, 07:33 Reply

      Calm down Absie, very soon though.

  8. Verified
    February 20, 07:24 Reply

    And I downloaded the movie yesterday from this kickass torrent and thought that I would watch it with my mom at home. I really have heard a lot abt the movie that I asked my younger brother where I could download the movie. He however said that its not out for download yet that I shld try watching How to get away with murder which I downloaded till episode 12 but have not watched it. Fortunately for me my mum was tired and went to bed early yesterday and I plugged in my hard disk and searched for the movie. I sensed some funny scenes cos of how it started hence my skipping the scenes to satisfy my curiosity. Lo & behold, what I saw made me shock and I was like is this what they were showing publicly for all to see? I went back to check the name again and it was “Fifty Shades of Grey”. Now my take on this, the movie is a hard core porn with a lot of sex scenes in it. The guy is hot though, really hot. I jst thank ma God that my mom was not seated with me in the living room watching “Fifty Shades of Grey”…

    • simba
      February 20, 08:08 Reply

      How old are u dear? U shouldn’t watch tht movie till u probably 18.. askLord.

      • Verified
        February 20, 08:42 Reply

        Simba, I am way past 20 even. Looking forward to my silver jubilee in Sept.

  9. Chizzie
    February 20, 08:01 Reply

    the reviews of this movie are horrendous but it made a lot of money and broke several records on its debut week which was kinda expected given the hype surrounding it…I’m waiting to see Its sophomore performance, cus that should be interesting. Haven’t seen the movie and don’t plan to, read the book halfway but deleted it after on,cause I just thought it was rubbish . I loose interest when things become so common place and generic such a fad dt even bus conductors begin to talk abt it. Same reason why I probably won’t be watching Empire.

    • Ace
      February 20, 15:54 Reply

      Oooh dear, take that bit on Empire back. If you want to watch something that’ll make you start have conversations with the T.V, make your food go cold cos you forgot you had it on your laps all the while; then see Empire. Somethings live up to the hype.

      • pinkpanthertb
        February 20, 17:16 Reply

        Abeg Ace goan nyash down on a very long thing. All ye people that have been hyping Empire ought to be whipped aswear. I’ve finally seen the series and its good. But certainly not worth all the noise you people keep disturbing us with on this here blog

      • keredim69
        February 20, 21:38 Reply

        Pinkie, i take it Cookie Lyons is too ‘street” for your uptown self?

  10. lluvmua
    February 20, 08:36 Reply

    This movie did so many terrible things to me …. *sobs* (oh lawd) . Need I say I Dennis name came to mind immediately Christian Grey opened his play room fikked wif…….. ok thats enuf bye…… *takes off* …..

  11. tobby
    February 20, 09:06 Reply

    A lot of people who watched the movie were disappointed.. Not sure I want to see it anyway

  12. trystham
    February 20, 10:20 Reply

    saw someone’s passionate review yesterday. It sounds like the book and movie is terribly sexist…on one side. Not sure I want to read or watch it.

  13. Colossus
    February 20, 10:32 Reply

    When I saw the title of this post, I was glad, I believed the review was about to be done by deola. Third paragraph in and it was looking like that until the fourth paragraph when it became obvious the thirst is real for the writer of this piece and It’s clear the sex scenes moved him.

    I saw this movie two nights ago and it was terrible. So terrible that I’ve being ashamed to admit I watched it even after I’ve been warned not to. I really could not explain what led me to buy a ticket when I was there for shoprite, buy my farm fresh yogurt and get the Hell home. I looked at my watch and felt I’ve got two hours to kill, a movie won’t be a bad idea. IT WAS A BAD IDEA! FIFTY SHADES OF BORING WAS A BAD IDEA. The lines were cheesy and I kept rolling my eyes and fiddling with my phone. The cast did a pretty decent job but I kept feeling they were trying so hard, trying to get the audience to like the movie, by hook or by sex.
    When the end credits rolled, I heaved a sigh of relief and watched the faces of the movie goers as we flocked out, the ladies looked flustered and I could swear their vaginas were vibrating. The guys looked happy, they most likely were going to get some that night but for me who was not there for the toned down sex scenes, I really should have bought my yoghurt and got the Hell out.

    • Blaq
      February 20, 12:29 Reply

      Hahahaha! I almost fell of my chair @vibrating vaginas! Haba! Most movie adaptations of books never turn out well. I didn’t expect this one to be any different, especially since there was nothing about the book I couldn’t already visualise

      • Colossus
        February 20, 14:56 Reply

        I share your view but sometimes, some book adaptations turn out fine. Gone girl is a great example of this. I have not read 50shades before so entering the movie theatre, I really had nothing to compare it to, maybe I could compare it to BDSM porn but that would be giving the sex scenes in the movie more credit than they deserve. I just came out feeling disappointed and wondering what the fuss was all about.

      • Colossus
        February 20, 14:57 Reply

        Really bad, transformers age of extinction bad.

      • Deola
        February 20, 16:30 Reply

        Lwkmd! Transformers age of extinction bad!!!!
        Man that movie was all kinds of horrible…thank the lawd I didnt pay money to see it!

  14. The P
    February 20, 11:01 Reply

    That’s what happens when bedroom acts are brought to the “screen”. Oh, not just any screen; but a public screen. It bores. @Iluvmua, I use my left hand in case. not right. ?(o_o)

  15. Eric
    February 21, 13:16 Reply

    Almost saw it too at the cinemas on the 14th with a friend thank God I didn’t I saw Kingsmen instead and it was Awesome….

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