Out Of The Closet: The Lagosian Male Scandalized By The Internet

Out Of The Closet: The Lagosian Male Scandalized By The Internet

singles 26I got wind of the ‘breaking news’ from a friend of mine. He told me to go to Google and type in the search words ‘gay hair stylist in Lagos’, and that I’d find a scandal brewing in the blogosphere. I did, and sure enough, splashed all over the Google result lists were such cliché headlines like ‘SHOCKING! Meet the first Openly GAY Male Hair Stylist in Lagos.’

As I clicked on each report, hoping to get varying versions of the story, to better understand it, I came to realize the dominance of the ‘copy and paste’ characteristic of the Nigerian blogosphere. Snippets of the report on one blog go thus:

‘…a blog reader called my attention that I should go and do my aproko parole on Stanley Igho’s Facebook profile. As at when I visited it, he had no privacy settings whatsoever so anybody can breeze in freely…

‘…I just hope he knows the implication of what he is doing, by openly revealing his sexuality…

‘…he’s an adult, so his choices, nobody should form holier than thou here o…’

These words were more or less the same on every blog I clicked open. Apparently, all the bloggers were told by their blog readers to go and do their aproko paroles on this Stanley Igho’s Facebook profile, and they simply breezed in, screen-grabbing photos as they went.

Here’s the report: Stanley Igho allegedly updated on his profile that he was in a relationship with a male. And then he unlocked his privacy settings and his closet doors all at once. Such audacity, the blogs want the public to believe. To be so openly gay and damn 14 years, such courage.

When I read the story, I felt disbelief, because I knew that no gay Nigerian would be this audacious. Yes, we may have out and proud gay Nigerians, but not one of them would risk this kind of publicity, not even when there was no 14-years imprisonment to be wary about.

So I dug into the story. I poked and prodded here and there (Lagos is still essentially a small community after all), until I got the gist that Stanley Igho wants people to know. He was apparently once in a relationship with a South African, during which he gave his lover access to his social media accounts, complete with the passwords. Then things went sour and they broke up. And in the wake of the breakup, ‘someone’ with the unchanged access to his Facebook account let himself in, did the damage, and let himself out. And probably tipped off a blogger on his way out. And before long, everyone could now see that Stanley ‘is in a relationship with Justin Samson.’

I feel for the guy. I really do. No one has to be subject to this, especially not in the Nigerian gay clime. According to the answers I got, he is currently distraught, as he should be. Apparently, he’s even considering fleeing (no itinerary yet), and he was blindsided by this development. You know, that awkward moment when someone tells you that your name is attached to a scandal trending all over the internet. I do so hope he can weather this storm, without getting hit by any lasting adversity like a prison sentence or mob justice.

One thing we should all learn from this: When in love, try to pry those eyelids of the blind love open long enough to know that there ought to be boundaries set. But if the blindness of your love is such that the touch of Pastor Chris’s healing hand is what is required to make you see, well, no shakings. Just as long as you know that when love is gone and the relationship is over, you need to restructure everything that love made happen. Change passwords. Shut down confidences. Sever ties. Because, an ex lover has no loyalty.

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33 Comments

    • shuga chocolata
      October 08, 17:51 Reply

      Oh my no wonder he hasn’t updated his PM on his bbm or even uploaded a new photo on his FB. I saw that in a relationship with one guy update, but I said to myself it wasn’t my BIZZ. How wrong was I, I should have called his attention like I do with most friends but I was saying to my self that it didn’t concern me because people now calls me amebo for always on the look out for them to censor their pix and their writesup.

      Wrote this in a hurry pardon me.

  1. Metrosexual
    October 08, 15:41 Reply

    Noone deserves this kinda wickedness… Even if its an ex-lover…. The heart of men is EVIL..!!!

  2. simba
    October 08, 15:43 Reply

    Such scandal.. well nobody is gonna lock him for what’s on Facebook. Its the mob action he gotta be careful about…he can pretend nuffing happened or start looking for asylum.

  3. ScarFace
    October 08, 15:52 Reply

    Another reason why I “might” not fall in love

  4. Paul
    October 08, 15:52 Reply

    He shuld close d account immediately
    Privacy settings isn’t d ish now
    Den he shuld publicly denounce and claim he doesn’t knw wat ds is it
    Some form of damage control shuld b done by him b4 he takes a brief trip out
    Trust me in naija,ds tins die out soon.

  5. Dennis Macauley
    October 08, 15:54 Reply

    In this article somewhere is hidden a sub for Dennis Macaulay

    PinkPanther I saw what you did there!

    My god will answer you

    • pinkpanthertb
      October 08, 15:57 Reply

      *blinking rapidly on an innocent expression* Whatever are you talking about, D? 😀

      • Dennis Macauley
        October 08, 16:21 Reply

        You don’t know ba?

        Okay

        Continu!

        I know the person that will tidy your f**k up

    • Paul
      October 08, 16:07 Reply

      U actualy came to my mind wen I read ds too.

  6. Micky
    October 08, 16:01 Reply

    Damn! Hell has no fury like a woman’s scorn and a woman’s scorn has nothing on a gay guy out for vengeance. This is wickedness in the highest order! But why should u share all ur private info with some1 you’re dating? It is DATING. There should be boundaries. I pray God will give him the strength to go through this.

  7. #TeamKizito
    October 08, 16:09 Reply

    Hmmm. Well, I went through the comments pertaining to “Monitoring Spirits” again now, now. Hm.

    • gad
      October 08, 17:29 Reply

      I’m sure everyone will re-visit the post titled “the monitoring spirits” and do the needfull.The extent which gays can go when they want to settle scores is unimaginable from poison,to outing someone, violence, murder etc.hmm,all for love

  8. kendigin
    October 08, 17:28 Reply

    actually he can spin this to his advantage and seek assylum abroad. na onw way ticket. no country will refuse him

  9. enKayced
    October 08, 18:02 Reply

    This is one of those practically practical reasons why I don’t do Facebook.
    Your friend request can like to be there for the next 6 months, dear bruthas!
    He should seek asylum in the U.K though. He would get it straight up!

  10. Blaq Jaqs
    October 08, 18:09 Reply

    I’ve always found this Stanley a bit too risqué, too careless with his status updates and information he made available on Social media etc. While I advocate being yourself, a community like ours needs taking certain precautionary steps which he evidently didn’t take. I don’t know what transpired between him and whoever but he or anyone doesn’t deserve this; even though I feel like the whole debacle could have been avoided if only…
    The same article is posted on Nairaland and as usual some bigots have very uninformed and hateful opinions to share. However I liked that a lot of people challenged them and statements unlike previously were we keep quiet and watch. It definitely seems like a step in a right direction…

  11. o'hara
    October 08, 18:26 Reply

    Love is the greatest fraud of all times.
    I don’t fall in love.
    In short I dey laff people wey dey talk say I’m in a relationship…… He’s my bf.
    I feel for him sha.

    • gad
      October 09, 04:26 Reply

      Nna,love is good.Its beautiful.It exists. Can U imagine a friend that sticks closer than a brother? I still remember the day I was to undergo an emergency surgery at Wuse general hospital. I thought I won’t make it alive.I sen 2t text messages.One to my house and the other to my bf.In minutes,my bf was by my side,praying and doing other acts of kindness.Mind you it was during work hours.No one came from my house until I got home and asked if they got my text.They did but thought It wasn’t serious.Days later,I learnt from my lawyer friend that one actually called to inquire about next of kinship.Yes,love exists.Real love though hard to find

  12. maxonex
    October 08, 18:40 Reply

    “An ex lover has no loyalty”…. Word….
    Feel so sad for him… I know how it feels…

  13. Verified
    October 08, 18:47 Reply

    This is so not fair and he should do something quickly about it… I pray this does not ruin his fabulous career… *Sobs*

  14. anonymous
    October 09, 04:10 Reply

    For some weird reason, I went to check out the nairaland thread associated with this story … and by god, I am soo scared for my life.

    I did intend coming out to a friend, but I think I’ll have to stay low very low for now.

    • pinkpanthertb
      October 09, 04:12 Reply

      The commenters were pretty vicious, weren’t they? Just goes to show how passionately the homophobic still feel about sexuality.

      • gad
        October 09, 06:41 Reply

        Have u seen where a gay guy is outing an estranged friend.you will be shocked by the things they say about gays.so why are we breaking our heads over straight homophobes? Let’s keep looking inwards as a 1st step.we are honestly “our worst enemies”

    • insidiousmissmeiya
      October 09, 22:59 Reply

      Nairaland is the reason I created The Rainbow Republic. The owner and mods don’t care about the hateful bile Nairalanders spew on LGBT issues.

      Come to TRR instead! We have contests and prizes! 🙂

      http://therainbowrepublic.com

  15. Absalom
    October 09, 05:24 Reply

    Sad story. I’m hopeful he’ll live.

    *

    How is any of this an indictment on love though?

    • pinkpanthertb
      October 09, 05:25 Reply

      It isn’t an indictment. At least not to me o. Lol. Those who say true love doesn’t exist have their reasons. Me, I say true love does exist and can be wise too.

  16. Ace
    October 09, 16:49 Reply

    Wow! He is my friend on Facebook, I saw some brow arching pictures on his wall, but I thought nothing of it. So it became a topic for blogs? Sad

  17. Dominic
    October 11, 06:13 Reply

    Wow just seeing his pics. I almost met this guy. He’s like everywhere on the Internet with his nice muscle pics. I think he’s just comfortable with himself and threw caution to the wind. I’m really sorry this happened to him.

    • pinkpanthertb
      October 11, 06:14 Reply

      You’re implying he actually brought this on himself by actually updating his profile of his relationship with a man? Just asking o, becos me, I don’t know which version is the true story

  18. Dominic
    October 11, 11:05 Reply

    Oh no pinky…sorry I don’t know about that o. I didn’t even get to see his facebook page, seems I came late and he has either deleted or hidden the account. I’m just saying he’s very ‘open’ in a way with his real pics on grindr, manjam, badoo and all.

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