Photo: Some Days Ago On Linda Ikeji’s Blog…

Photo: Some Days Ago On Linda Ikeji’s Blog…

Screenshot_2015-03-21-20-42-01Screenshot_2015-03-21-20-41-55 (1)As long as the world believes you have a choice in the issue of your sexuality, as long as it believes you can choose not to be gay, there can be no understanding of your struggles, no tolerance of your decision, and no validation of your life.

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Do not believe the lies: your neighbour’s sexuality remains none of your business and will never affect you if you do not want it to. Claims to the contrary are

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73 Comments

  1. Khristopher B!
    March 25, 04:52 Reply

    He spoke tge truth… but i’m first tho. Where’s my trophy?

  2. MacArdry
    March 25, 05:06 Reply

    I’ll simply be reading the comments on this one

  3. Dominic Obioha
    March 25, 05:19 Reply

    It’s a human issue. Gays wants people to believe they did not choose to be gay yet most gays believe bisexuals are pretenders.

    • MacArdry
      March 25, 05:23 Reply

      Hope you’re ready for the flak that’ll be coming your way,man.The Lickspittle Gang will soon be here and what you just wrote is a no-no with them.

      • Mandy
        March 25, 05:25 Reply

        Get over it, MacArdry. We get it. There are people who are very opinionated on KD. you don’t have to hop from post to post, spreading this ghen-ghen attitude.

      • MacArdry
        March 25, 05:38 Reply

        Och,who would ye be?.
        Tis sure I be my comment wasna addressed tae ye

    • trystham
      March 25, 07:44 Reply

      So you know, I do know bisexuals actually exist but I WILL not compete with a woman for a man. Its MGMs and MBM that I cannot abide.

      @MacAdry You realise your tones are beginning to grate? All these archaic Irish n French *arched eyebrow*

      • MacArdry
        March 25, 08:00 Reply

        It’s Scot,not Irish.
        My tones beginning to grate?.We make such a fuss about being judged,being discriminated against cos we are different from the norm,yet we are first to cast stones at those who appear even slightly different from us.
        How have you been,btw?

      • Sinnex
        March 25, 11:51 Reply

        @MacArdry you are so right. The hypocrisy on this blog stinks to high heavens. It is so tiring.

  4. #TeamKizito
    March 25, 05:34 Reply

    Suicide: never an option!

    “I don’t believe in men penetration..”

  5. Dennis Macaulay
    March 25, 05:51 Reply

    Dont take your life because your family doesnt accept you! Family is overated amd not necesarily defined by blood ties.

    Seek help if you are having dark thoughts! Suicide is never a good thing.

    • MacArdry
      March 25, 05:59 Reply

      Stop right there,man.
      Family is not overrated,not by any chance.
      You’re right though,anyone walking the dark path ought to seek help

      • Dennis Macaulay
        March 25, 06:12 Reply

        Sweetheart FAMILY IS OVERATED! Sometimes this same family will throw you under the bus when they find out. Family is supposed to be the unit of unconditional love! My friend was forced to marry a girl he knew nothing about else he will be disowned and disinherited because he was gay. I can go on and on, but lets leave this matter.

        I love my family to death, but if its down to them and my whole life’s happiness, i guess you know what i will choose!

      • mike daemon
        March 25, 07:37 Reply

        I agree with you, family is overrated, if my found out about me, they wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me again, my brother even said it, though indirectly. Some people who aint blood related can be more than a friend.

        A family is suppose to be a shield, keeps your secret, and love you unconditionally, but the reverse is the case these days especially when homosexuality is in the picture!

      • MacArdry
        March 25, 07:53 Reply

        Your friend is a wuss,Dennis.
        I get the part about not bringing opprobrium on the family name cos of their prominence,he could simply have gone lowkey,but being browbeaten into marriage with a lady who knows his sexuality,despises him n now acts his keeper,all because of some inheritance?.Is he incapacitated that he can’t make his own money?.
        By the way,no Eastern family can truly disown one of it’s own.Not possible,the stain on them would last generations.By eastern,I mean the eastern tribes of Nigeria

    • . Pete
      March 25, 06:56 Reply

      Family is not overrated. Your friend,i guess he’s educated should have charted his own course & will not join to squabble over another man’s properties.

      • Dennis Macaulay
        March 25, 07:21 Reply

        Another man’s property? So his dad is now another man? And i thought they were family! Mstchew

      • . Pete
        March 25, 07:33 Reply

        DM, you misunderstand me. All I’m saying is that if he has built his own career, the threat of disowning him won’t make him marry.i admit, I don’t know the entire story,so I’ll stop here.

    • Sinnex
      March 25, 11:53 Reply

      I think it all depends on the family. If I decide to come out to my family, I know for a fact that there is nothing that they can do about me. At least my sisters have been dropping hints here and there. One even told me that she wished she had a gay brother, so they would be playing dress ups, she said this after watching Glee.

      I don’t think family is overrated. At least, not my family. I don’t know what I would do without my family.

  6. Gad
    March 25, 06:00 Reply

    Another discussion on suicide? Not again! I will just read the expert opinions of those who say (deceitfully though) that suicide is a right and death is sweat.

    • Max
      March 25, 07:31 Reply

      I thought you were the expert?

      • Teflondon
        March 25, 08:49 Reply

        Sometimes I do wonder if Max is the new Chizzie.. Always willing and ready to pick a fight!

        **and don’t bring that how are you starting a fight comment here**

        I read all the sacarsm in your statement to Gad.

        • pinkpanthertb
          March 25, 09:14 Reply

          Max was being sarcastic. Chizzie is vitriolic. There’s a difference. The both of them can never be the same. Why would they when one is healthy and the other not entirely so

      • Gad
        March 25, 09:42 Reply

        @ Max, you are yet to announce your resignation as the expert. @ Pinky, your defense of Max is needless. You nominated him as the only one for the license to to insult people and your clique adopted the motion so save yourself some wahala and be the BIG MAN you are.

      • Teflondon
        March 25, 11:08 Reply

        I’ve read sme comments from max on some of the articles posted here last year.. Clearly Max has some ‘attitude’ ‘ego’ probs.. The only difference between him and Chizzie if I may add is that….

        One seems to be visibly bitter the other thinks he’s not egocentrically bitter ( if there’s any phrase like that).

      • Max
        March 25, 11:44 Reply

        @Tef, defender of the rights of KDians.. As long as you keep playing the victim in things that don’t concern you, you’ll always be one.

  7. A-non
    March 25, 06:11 Reply

    By his name, am guessing he is Pakistani.

    If you think Nigerians are homophobic, they’ll change your perception.

    I’d say homophobia is worse with countries known to be very religious…unfortunately, they often tend to be the most underdeveloped.

    Pity!

    • kendigin
      March 25, 09:30 Reply

      Very true. Those Asian countries are ruthlessly homophobic.
      Forget being gay, women get killed just because they refuse to marry husbands chosen by their parents, female infanticide is the norm. I think Nigeria is still a bit better than those Asian countries.

  8. Jamie
    March 25, 06:54 Reply

    Hmm… I don’t think suicide is right or preferable. However, I think that if someone had to commit suicide, there must be a reason… Experience and the feeling of being in the minority has made me understand that!!
    Would I be alive today @all if I drank insecticide placed on that shelf at the age of twelve? Because I felt there was something wrong with the way I felt around boys, and I struggled to control my emotions, and was a staunch christian…and yet, things got worse as I grew up daily….!! I got enraged, and would have done that, that evening daddy quarreled me… Because of something different!! But I decided there was no reason living if I could never really get things right…
    Suicide could have genuine reasons for it though, so they deserve pity. But the best thing is, realising someone is depressed and helping them out before it happens…

    • Gad
      March 25, 08:00 Reply

      Jamie, I’m shocked though not surprised.

  9. Max
    March 25, 07:29 Reply

    I find the comments quite shocking.

  10. Dennis Macaulay
    March 25, 07:51 Reply

    Families have known to abandon people who are HIV+. I am part of an intervention programme so I know this first hand. Many positive patients are abandoned by their (mostly religious) family. One woman even told her very sick daughter that god was punishing her for her sins of immorality and walked away right in front of the medical team. Her daughyer had no one to care for her at the hospital.

    When people talk about all families being supreme I laugh. Come out to your family na and test them and lets see how strong that bond will remain.

  11. wazzosgrotto
    March 25, 08:00 Reply

    I think the burning question is if one is ready to bear the drama and the likelihood of being ostracized by their family members. Many people develop serious depression and psychological issues when mulling this issue over. Until more families begin to accept their children’s orientation we can expect to see more young people taking their lives. It’s a cruel ass world.

  12. Dennis Macaulay
    March 25, 08:02 Reply

    Lets play a game MacArdry, call a meeting of your family immediate and extended and come out to them. Lets see if families do disown people

    • MacArdry
      March 25, 08:25 Reply

      My brother already know about me,I’m with him now in fact.He jokes about it whenever my sisters and one other brother bring up the issue of marriage.Turn the whole thing into a farce.
      Already called such meeting,though I didn’t make all the announcement shi,told everyone I’ll not be marrying though I’ll be having kids at some point.My dad wasn’t bothered,only wants his children to do well,make their mark.Excepting one bro n the girls,the others simply shrugged.
      That good enough a test for ya,Dennis?

  13. Teflondon
    March 25, 09:08 Reply

    Suicide is never an option.. No matter what! To me it’s just cowardice! (Except kids who have no real knowledge of life) I expect every teenager, adolescent, adult and so on.. To have an idea what life brings. Be it the (stress of) homosexuality, HIV+, Cancer! Life comes with its baggages. You should be ready to fight.. If you can’t fight alone, seek a helping hand in fighting it.. Either through appropriate agencies or what not and/ or family. ( I have always being a preacher of not seeing the relevance to coming out to your loved once) that said, to say family is over rated is just down right ‘ignorant’ family is everything. Too bad if you come from or grew up in some fucked up family but to totally ignore the importance of family bond is just being naive.
    The meaning of family rightly so is different with each individual convictions.. What is family really? Family doesn’t have to be by blood ties (tho that can not be totally ignored) we have the oppurtunity to decide who is family and who is not… That decision has being left to us by the creator of all things. So if you are not satisfied with your (blood tie) family you can decide to join a group another family (not blood tied) and make them family. The importance is to have a group of people who love you regardless and stick together throught thick and thin.

    It’s a shame the doctor that killed himself. He wasnt brave enough, to think someone that is suppose to save life’s actually took his! Wow! Such tradrgy ( but who am I to judge)
    Very cute couple I must say. Sad!

    As for the anonymous commenter.. I disagree with him in the sense that.. He might have being religious but he wasn’t spiritual.. Hence the need to strt trying different religion. He should simply take his issues (if he had any) to God and not be seeking mans help because of ‘religion’ .
    as for the best you can do if you don’t want to be gay.. Is to be bisexual. I disagree with this statement. In my own opinion the best you can do if you don’t want to be gay is to be celibate (no matter how hard it seems) no to act on your thought is the best you can do.

    • Sinnex
      March 25, 12:01 Reply

      The more I read your comments, the more I don’t see the need in commenting. @PP is there a way for @Sinnex and @Teflondon to be linked together and made one account. It seems that both posters think alike.
      You just said it all…every single thing.

      • pinkpanthertb
        March 25, 12:30 Reply

        You two wanna get married? @Sinnex That can always be arranged in California

      • Teflondon
        March 25, 12:59 Reply

        I guess I and @Sinnex and sometimes @Gad are made from the same Fabric.
        Our “School of Thoughts” are almost always alike…
        Like I said some time back.. We are #TeamReal

        PP
        You were saying something about wedding in Carlifonia?
        Am all set and ready!
        Waiting for the groom on this one..

        **goes to wardrope and dust off wedding gown**

    • Gad
      March 25, 12:14 Reply

      @ Tef, I agree with your submissions excluding the part where you said that when biological families fail one can create other families. I will however not join issues on that. Tef, you get liver oo. How dare you express this unpopular opinion in a community of largely intolerant people. I almost forgot that they seek tolerance from society #stiflles laughter*

      • Teflondon
        March 25, 13:03 Reply

        Lol oh Gad Oh Gad… Am not preacher of “unpopular opinion”
        Trust me they came after me initially.. Those you are speaking of..
        But they saw my heart and skin is made of leather. Nothing they say can ditter me and my opinions”

      • Max
        March 25, 13:42 Reply

        “Ditter”??
        You see why your story is still warming an inbox..

  14. Sinnex
    March 25, 12:14 Reply

    No matter what you are facing, suicide is never an option. You did not create yourself, you did not decide to be born into the world, you don’t even know how to create a strand of hair, so why would you decide to take your life.

    I am not an advocate of suicide. If you feel your family is not in support of your sexuality, why don’t you leave. For goodness sake, the guy is 34 and a doctor, he is not supposed to be staying with his parents or depending on their opinion. He is a man.

    I still don’t see the need why you must come out to your family. What exactly do you want to gain. The issue I have with some gay guys is that they are not careful. You are not supposed to be controlled by your dicks. Some guys would have sex in their family house which leads to the family walking in on them. If you must have sex, then you must be ready for the repercussion.

    If you want to come to come out, you need to study the situation and the people. First drop hints and ask questions. Gauge their opinions in order to know how they’d react.

    • Teflondon
      March 25, 13:09 Reply

      “You are not supposed to be controlled by your dicks”

      Sadly the good people of KD won’t want to hear this.

      I must admit I do think with my Dick 90% of the time am dealing with gay related issues. So I’ll say “guilty as charged”

  15. JustJames
    March 25, 12:17 Reply

    Biko your family might be overrated but mine isn’t. Haba. How can you say that about people you’ve lived most of your life with and care about. Maybe you’ve drifted apart cause it doesn’t make sense to call your mother father and siblings overrated. You think family is overrated? Go check out orphans who have had their parents killed.. Even those that have shitty families feel like something is missing in their lives. Family is not overrated that’s why a mother will die to save her child and a father will make sacrifices to bring up his children. Sometimes I feel y’all don’t think too much before you you say some things then go and hide under the umbrella of opinion.

    • Gad
      March 25, 13:45 Reply

      Wao James. This is responsible

  16. JustJames
    March 25, 12:26 Reply

    On the issue of suicide I think y’all need to have been suicidal at some point in your life to see that to the suicidal person it is a viable option much better than the pain and suffering. It’s because we have clear minds that’s why we can sit down and condemn them and call them cowards. I have contemplated suicide a few times, just the fact that there was no painless way to go about it is what stopped me. I feel very stupid thinking back on it cause there’s so much I’d have missed but back then I thought it was a nice way out, remove myself from the equation so my mum could stop crying at some point. Not everyone is lucky and blessed to be strong. Some compassion instead of judgement would be nice.

      • Teflondon
        March 25, 13:20 Reply

        **bewildered**
        @PP you can’t be championing the support of suicide would you?

        @James as I saw coward in your statement I had to reply you…

        You wanted to commited, even Kheleesi still feels it sometimes but the difference with both you and those that actually go with it is that.. You DIDNT!
        See Ehn! I sympathize to some extent with those that commited the act but I still stand by my comments. It’s cowadice.. There several ways to deal with a problem than killing ones self… I don’t even have to be at that level of depression to know. You and Khaleesi for some reason still held on.. You didn’t commit the act.. You held on to something. Maybe because you are strong, maybe becasue of the love of someone, or some divine intervention.. But for some reason you held on. They should have held on. They should have known that no matter how long the problem might seem.. “This too shall pass”
        Hence the phrase
        “My people die because of the lack of knowledge”

        Please someone suicidal might be reading this right now.. Let’s no show any sign of understanding or sympathy for this act.. Because it’s NEVER the solution!!! ITS A COWARDS WAY OUT!!

        • Gad
          March 25, 15:00 Reply

          It’s even selfish and wicked apart from being the ways of failures. If those that committed suicide had considered how much it will affect those who love them

    • Khaleesi
      March 25, 12:58 Reply

      Newsflash: i still sometimes contemplate suicide, i mea being gay in this part of the globe is so damn hard! But am too chicken to go through with it, so it’ll likely remain in the realm of thoughts ….

    • Gad
      March 25, 14:26 Reply

      James, you have to make suicide look stupid and unattractive in order to deter those who might contemplate suicide. If your show of solidarity and compassion towards suicide spurs more people on to commit suicide, what have you achieved? You said you feel stupid @ the thought that you once contemplated suicide. That’s the same thing we are doing. Or are you saying that we don’t have the right(like you) to say it as it is?

      • JustJames
        March 25, 15:31 Reply

        Lol. You all still don’t get what I’m saying. To the suicidal person it is attractive. That is the problem. Telling them they are being cowards will not help.. It could even make them despair more. Instead of calling them cowards we need to remind them that as long as there is life there is hope. I think that’s what I’m trying to say. Compassion.. Not judgement. It’s a lot more than being afraid to go on gad. It’s more like seeing that there’s nothing else to go on to and that’s the end of the road for you.

        • Gad
          March 25, 16:07 Reply

          Gad not gad @ James. I got your point.

      • Max
        March 25, 18:58 Reply

        Let the poor dude be @gad, oops, gardener… He can call you whatever he likes. You’re a mean and condescending bitch.

        • Gad
          March 25, 19:29 Reply

          Max, could this be a crush or your usual display of bitterness? I agree that you have been inducted as KD,s official vitriolist but mind you I wasn’t @ your investiture nor did I approve that anyone should be displaying in-born misdemeanor here.

      • Teflondon
        March 25, 19:09 Reply

        @Gad please refrain from answering Max.. Let her continue to bark here and there. She’s on her period I reckon.

        • Gad
          March 25, 19:31 Reply

          Just saw your comment @ Tef. Noted

      • Max
        March 25, 19:22 Reply

        “She”?
        I’m tempted to tell you to go strangle yourself, but I’ll refrain from that. For someone who is supposedly very ” busy ” with his life, you sure have ample time to come here and bicker all the time. Even had the time to stalk my previous comments on this blog. I’m ashamed “for you”(not of you, for you) that a full grown ass dude will have the time to be stalking people. Thats what jobless people do.. Which means youve been lying to the entire blog…as usual. If you have a problem (unemployed), you could drop your CV with pinky and some ppl here might actually help you to find a job. Instead of coming here to disgrace yourself daily all in the name of having reptile skin etc…I could’ve helped you drop ur CV at my work place, but I don’t think you’ll pass the test, as we’ve all seen you have a 2 digit IQ.
        You’re just a sad lonely dude with a fragile ego/self esteem, who has nothing to offer . You started commenting just to feel relevant etal.
        You mention names in your comment just to get attention from people, youre an attention whore and the sooner you go look yourself in a mirror, the better for you.
        Stop fooling around here. Make educative and informed comments, stop blabbing and bickering all the time and stop putting mouth in other people’s business. Agbaya!!

      • Teflondon
        March 25, 20:15 Reply

        “Let the poor dude be @gad, oops, gardener… He can call you whatever he likes. You’re a mean and condescending bitch.”

        And to think someone preaches about making “Educative” and “Informed” comments.. And not mentioning to “seek” attention.. You definitely doing a good job.

        I reckon you are fagged out.. I’ll suggest to you go take a nap.. You must be tired from all the bitterness poured out on KD today.

      • Khaleesi
        March 25, 22:12 Reply

        @Tef @Max, ****tries hard to stifle laughter, face reddens with suppressed laughter**** hahahahahahahhhaaaa ***attempt @suppression fails*** ***flings of Ferragamo heels and collapses on lilac silk futon cushion in uncontrollable fits of laughter***Max hun na you fit this Tef, abeg rip into her joor … inukwa rubbish! !

  17. Khaleesi
    March 25, 12:56 Reply

    ‘The best you can do is become a bisexual’ … ***rolls eyes from Lokpanta to London***

  18. Lothario
    March 26, 05:42 Reply

    Sad situation….. Lord have mercy! At the end of the day, your emotional strength has to come through for you.

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