PURE BLACK GREY (Episode 11)

PURE BLACK GREY (Episode 11)

Biodun Olusesi, the Commissioner of Police for Lagos State, didn’t allow the silence to settle as he looked at the three detectives in front of him, from one to the other before saying, “So what have we got on these murders?”

My body had been dumped in an empty house. I was found because Bankole had tipped off the police anonymously, but not after pictures of my lifeless body had been sent out to blogs for the world to see. Everything that could link my killers to my death had been wiped off. Bankole and Maje had been very meticulous in their presentation of what I had become to the world – by that, I mean dead.

One of the detectives proceeded to tell their boss the little they had so far on our murders: Douglas’s and mine.

“But we know the victims were friends. How come we don’t have anything else on the perpetrators?” Olusesi asked.

“It’s not a certainty that they were friends,” another detective replied, pinching his chin.

The Commissioner lifted his eyebrows, inviting him to continue.

“Yes, we know they are friends on Facebook and they followed each other on their twitter accounts. Nothing else asides that suggests they are friends.”

“They were both homosexual,” the third detective offered.

“How do you know this?” the Commissioner asked.

“Well, they both were vocal about their stance on LGBT issues with their tweets. They also posted gay porn clips on their timelines. Left to me, I think they got what they deserved.”

This detective happened to be gay too, a deeply closeted one; but that’s a story for another time.

“I completely agree, sir,” the second detective supported his partner. “The murders were probably carried out by people who weren’t interested in their bullshit. They probably didn’t know that not everyone wants to have sex with men.”

“Hmm.” The commissioner sighed. “We have to give a statement to the general public but we can’t feed this theory to the public. It’ll probably become an incentive for people to hurt others in the name of homosexuality.”

“Well, sir, we could say they were cultists – two frat guys who met with Karma,” the first detective spoke up.

“That could work too. Work with the PRO and come up with a good statement. I’ll suggest we round up some of their followers on their social media platforms, throw in some random guys we’ll pick up on the streets later this week. Let’s cover every base. Good work, guys.”

The three detectives shuffled out of the Commissioner’s office.

***

Rest in Peace? That is the most ridiculous phrase I have ever heard! You die, and people say “Rest in Peace”… Why would one need to ‘rest’ when they’re dead?! I spent thousands of years of world history resting.

While Agamemnon was leading his ships to Troy, I was resting.

While Ovid was seducing women at the chariot races, I was resting.

While Jeanne d’Arc was hallucinating, I was resting.

I waited until airplanes scuttled across the sky to burst out onto the scene, and I was only on earth for a short while, then I died. I certainly won’t need to rest again! Not while more adventures of the same kind are going on.

People see death as loss, some grieve intensely, many claim they’re drenched in pain of losing loved ones. It hurts, no lie, but the truth is: your loved ones are in a better place. Far from the hurdles the world has to offer. Yes, the dead miss out on interesting innovations, opportunities, birthdays, beautiful twilights and birthdays, but they are free. FREE!

You’re probably wondering what the world beyond is like? I’d have asked you to come see it for yourself but most of you are scared and selfish – which, I must say, is a very sensible decision: Use every opportunity you have right now to live your life to the fullest.

Visit art galleries. Eat carbs. Have sex. Do everything you’ve been advised not to do. Live and savor every minute of your boring life, but don’t stay that way for as long as you live. You have just one life.

I was surrounded by friends, my work was immense, and pleasures were abundant. My afterlife unfolded and came together before me, constantly and visibly, like the plastic flowers molded by man and machines. Overall, I was happiest to be alone; for it was then I was most aware of what I possessed. Free to look out over the rooftops of the city. Happy to be alone in the company of myself, the company of lovers and strangers and reuniting friends. Everything, I decided, in this afterlife, was pure pleasure.

I’ve slept in many rooms, called myself by many names. I wandered through the French quarters of New Orleansand settled on waters, clean and clear. I know every kind of joy, ascents of every hue. Mine is the twilight and the morning. Mine is a world of rooftops and adventure.

I have Douglas with me the whole way – friends even in death.

Jovi was never questioned as the police didn’t do a proper investigation into our deaths. He still pines for me day after day. I just wish he’d move on and live his life. I see him every day. Watch him every day too. Bankole is still his business partner; he helps Jovi cope with his grief every chance he gets.

Our killers were never found by the police but Karma promised me she’d have tea with them.

I’ll tell you all she has in store for them some other time. Right now, I have some fluffy clouds to surf on.

See you soon.

Ciao.

THE END

Written by Vhar

 

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6 Comments

  1. Milez
    December 19, 07:22 Reply

    Awwww… You make death look so cool. But nah honey!…. I’d be here as long as I can. Plus I don’t wish to death in such horror, I’d die in my sleep when it’s time.

    • Pink Panther
      December 19, 08:13 Reply

      Lol. He does make death seem so seductive, doesn’t he? Tsk tsk.
      In the end, this life is just too much sef, one may be tempted to give in to the peace of death.

  2. Mandy
    December 19, 08:15 Reply

    “Our killers were never found by the police but Karma promised me she’d have tea with them.”

    What nonsense is that?! Why settle for karma when you, as a ghost, can haunt them into eternity? Where’s Nollywood when you need a good payback story?

    • Malik
      December 19, 11:06 Reply

      When you can pack white ghost powder on your face and appear in front of the toilet seat when they turn on the bathroom lights; When you can appear in front of his windshield on Lagos-Ibadan expressway, or inside the television when he’s watchimg Amanpour… Which one is Karma??

  3. Malik
    December 19, 10:52 Reply

    While we’re here… “Visit art galleries. Eat carbs. Have sex.”

  4. Gad
    December 20, 07:15 Reply

    The writer presented death and the after life from the point of view of a grey messenger. Vhar, weldone oo. I Abdulrishin must be proud of you from hell

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