FOREWORD: I have just three words for y’all KDians. VHAR IS BACK! His new series is positively titillating! Check on the debut episode below.
I died a very horrible death.
And now that I’m dead, I’ve realised it’s not the greatest loss in life. The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. The greatest loss is what died with me. I had a lot to offer. A lot to give. A lot. Especially love. But it was cut short.
Even now, I see my lover still yearning for me.
Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and let it devour your remains. For all things will kill you, both slowly and speedily, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover. Death ends a life, not a relationship.
I know who killed me.
I died on a Wednesday.
I was drugged, shipped off to a beautiful but empty duplex that had a well-lit street. There were no occupants in the houses surrounding the scene of the crime. No passersby. No pets.
Now let me tell you about Maje.
My phone buzzed on my desk, but I ignored it. I clicked through each syntax error on the screen on my monitor, following the object declarations and correcting mistakes every few lines. On the other side of the office space was Maje, my colleague and friend, who was getting ready to close for the day. It was the weekend; both of us had agreed to come in for some work. We were the only persons in the entire building. I glanced at the clock in the bottom corner of the screen and groaned.
“Are you still going to keep working on that?” Maje asked with a chuckle. “It’s almost six.”
“Am I the only person here who thinks it’s okay to send up work summary and not even check it for errors? Who does that?” I answered by way of reply to his question.
Maje chuckled. “Well, that’s why you got a raise and promotion last month while the underling who wrote it didn’t.”
I knew what he meant. My mother had retired from this company two years ago right around the time I was employed, and in the wake of her retirement, I had done everything possible to prove myself to my colleagues and the directors, to show them that I was really good at what I did and not just the former CEO’s son.
“Ugh! It’s just frustrating. I don’t understand why people decide not to be efficient with duties they were assigned.”
“Well, you’re not them,” Maje said.
I wished he would stop brownnosing me.
My phone buzzed again and Maje walked to my workstation and grabbed it. Swiping his finger across the screen, he said, “You and this old man. I don’t understand what you see in him.” Disdain coloured his voice.
Maje and I had been friends since our service year. We got acquainted on Grindr while in camp, and after we met at one of the bars in mami market, I put him in the friendzone. Don’t get me wrong, he was hot. Steaming hot sef! He ticked the boxes for the perfect hookup and potential boyfriend – which was what I was looking for. But I just wasn’t that into him. We remained good friends afterwards. We even shared a flat with another corps member.
“When did that one start now? Abeg hand over my phone joor!” I snapped, and made to snatch the phone away from him. But Maje was quicker as he stepped away from the table.
“No, really man, tell me what he’s got to offer you that I can’t. Take a good look at me. I’m what you need.” He made a sweeping gesture up and down his toned body, his expression was sincere, yet his voice had desperate edge to it.
“We’ve been over this, MJ. You’re basic and I’m not just that into you.” I got up, came around from behind the table towards him to take my phone back.
It took some scuffle though, as Maje pressed his groin against my left butt-cheek.
I got my phone back and clicked to read the message from my boyfriend.
Movies together? I’m picking you up in a few.
Maje looked pained. I knew he still had a crush on me and I’d politely turned down his advances. Coupled with the fact that I’d been accused by his ex-boyfriend as the one who sabotaged their relationship, I just wasn’t attracted to my friend. (I’ll talk about that later).
“See you later,” Maje said as he moved towards the door.
“Later?” I looked up from my phone, confusion etched on my face.
“The gang? We’re supposed to see a movie together, remember?”
“Uh…yes,” I said as I bit on my lower lip.
Maje shook his head at me. “I’ve sha reminded you. Circle Mall. 7pm. Don’t be…” He stopped and tilted his head to the left, observing me with a narrowed stare. “You’re not coming, are you?” His voice was laced with conviction.
“I… I’ve got other plans.”
“Plans.” He sampled the word. “Okay.”
Waving my phone by way of explanation, I said, “I’m sorry, but Jovi is –”
“I get it,” he cut in. “But you do realise he’s gradually alienating you from us, right?”
“I beg your pardon?!” Irritation instantly flared inside me.
“Are you blind? Can’t you see? You barely hang out with us anymore. Last week, you forgot Osas’s birthday. Dayo’s grandma’s funeral party nko – you didn’t show up. You’ve not been to the movies with us in three weeks. You’re always with Jovi or Juventus or whatever the hell his name is. Is it because he’s rich? Oh, because he bought you a car and paid for your rent, we aren’t worthy of being seen with you anymore – is that it?”
“He didn’t buy me the car! My. Mother. Gave. It. To. Me,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Keep lying to yourself. We know the truth!”
“Even if he did, how is it your business? Isn’t it with the same car I brought you here this morning?”
“That’s because –”
“Or when you and Osas got drunk at that party, who did Dayo call to drive you home?”
“It’s not –”
“And who did I call to bail us out when our ATM cards got stuck in the machine when we were coming back from Olamide’s concert last December?”
He stayed quiet.
“Are you choking on your hypocrisy? Is that why you’re silent? Because I can go on and on about how Jovi saved our asses when we were stuck at one point or the other.”
His jaw clenched. “Just don’t forget who your friends are,” he rasped.
Then he turned to leave the room.
“And while I won’t forget who my friends are, I won’t allow those friends talk about my boyfriend like he hasn’t been there for any of them in the past!” I shot at his retreating back.
I turned to go back to my seat but Maje’s sudden movement at the door caught my eye. There was something really rigid about his posture. Before I could put my finger on it, he turned back, dropped his bag and walked purposefully towards me.
The kiss was firm. He held my head in his palms and kissed me. I could taste his anger, his frustration. It only lasted some seconds, but by God, he poured every bit of him into me with such intensity, such that I’d never witnessed before.
Shoving him back as best I could, my anger bubbled up again. “Get off me! What’s wrong with you?!”
He simply stared at me with a darkened expression and with desperation. He was breathless.
“Are you out of mind? What the hell was that for?!” I raged.
Before he could respond, I caught sight of a figure standing in the doorway.
And from the look of things, it was obvious he’d witnessed what had transpired between the two of us. Maje only glanced back at the newcomer before turning to look back at me.
The three of us stood still, none of us moved. I managed to release a shaky breath.
Before Maje left in a huff, he said something, something only I heard. And it made my blood run cold.
“If I can’t have you, no one else will.”
My boyfriend expressed no reaction when Maje walked past him, intentionally brushing his shoulder, an apparently hostile gesture. He also didn’t say anything about what he saw. I was restless, very much so, but I couldn’t bring the issue up. When we got home after our movie date, Jovi finally brought it up. He told me he’d overheard everything we said.
“How much did you hear?” I asked.
“Well, a lot to know your friend is so into you and you didn’t know about it,” he replied. “Oh, and he doesn’t like me very much.” He chuckled.
“The truth?” I turned in his arms to face him. He was leaving for his office from my place the next day.
“I know he’s into me, but I didn’t know he dislikes you that much.”
“You can’t blame him. You’re a rare work of art nau.”
“I’m serious, J.”
He chuckled again. Then he said he trusted me.
But there was something… amiss.
My name is Moyo… And this, this is how I died.
Written by Vhar