Random Questions XIX

Random Questions XIX

I have a friend who had been seeing this guy for about a year. And one time, when I buzzed my friend on WhatsApp, the responses I was getting alerted me to the fact that I wasn’t talking to him. There was an odd unfamiliarity to the responses I was getting and when I expressed my consternation, the person on the other end admitted that he was the boyfriend and that he was with my friend’s phone.

Of course this royally pissed me off, and much later, when my friend assured me that it would never happen again, he also admitted that they had no hang-ups about being in each other’s phones. That privacy did not exist for them.

It was the most discomfiting thing I’d ever heard. To be in a relationship where passwords are known and private conversations are assessed at will and there’s absolutely no boundaries. Let me just state that I could never EVER be in such a relationship. Not because I’d want to hide something from my boyfriend, but because we may share our lives together, but I still believe in spaces.

Well, that’s just me. What about you? Would you give up your boundaries and personal space for your partner?

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11 Comments

  1. Goldie
    August 31, 06:19 Reply

    I really don’t mind giving up my boundaries and personal space for partner. Currently, he has unrestrained access to my phone and social media accounts, as I have to his. Infact, the password I use for all my accounts was coined from his name.
    Now this doesn’t mean he responds to my chats or starts snooping around for something to start an argument with.
    He’s got too much sense for that.

    I do understand this doesn’t work for everyone though. But me and Bae, we’ve totally given up our private space, and we’re cool with it.

    • Bee
      August 31, 21:13 Reply

      Exactly my story. Actually thinking about it, it’s been this way for a while.

  2. Ekun
    August 31, 06:47 Reply

    Yes I would, but some people wouldn’t be willing to do so, for different reasons; some because they’ve got something to hide and some irrespective of being in a relationship like their own privacy/space.

  3. Queen Blue Fox
    August 31, 08:04 Reply

    Nope nopity nope! There’s such a thing as too much, not cos I’m hiding anything but cos I believe other people’s experiences which they have confided to me should remain that private and cos space. Passwords and all? Too in my face.

  4. vlad
    August 31, 09:12 Reply

    Nope. It’s a big no. Tried that in a previous relationship and it caused big problems. Nope. Spaces should be respected no matter how much we love ourselves

  5. J
    August 31, 15:34 Reply

    Yes, why not? There’s nothing to hide. I’d like to maintain trust in my relationship, so I’m up for anything as long as we’re good.

  6. Francis
    August 31, 23:26 Reply

    Odiegwu. Ain’t nobody having that much access to my shit. We live in a fucked up world and people change ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

  7. Dimkpa
    September 01, 06:36 Reply

    Mine has full access to every including my Grindr account.

    Yes, you read that right.

  8. Black Dynasty
    September 01, 14:56 Reply

    Hmm, he wouldn’t know my passwords as I believe despite being together, we still need to have personal space. However, if he wants to see or use the phone, i will be more than happy to unlock for him to do what he wants.

  9. Q
    September 01, 23:24 Reply

    Never.

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