RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 14)

A friend and I were having a conversation the other day, and we naturally got to the issue of gay men getting married to women. He said something that I had previously never considered and which frankly made a lot of sense to me given the circumstances. He said that some gay men need the safety of marriage to be able to find their voice and speak up about LGBT issues. He said that the message will be better received in these parts if it’s coming from a married man (assumed to be straight) than from a single man who will be assumed to be gay (especially when he is over a certain age). He went further to explain that if a married man expresses public support for gay rights, Nigerians will most likely try to understand why he’s endorsing gay rights, rather than condemn  him. But if say a single man of forty years speaks up about the same issue, he’d be dismissed as defending his kind.

I was going to argue with him, but then I remembered when the anti gay bill was signed into law, and my friend Ayo Sogunro wrote a lengthy thesis-worthy article on why that law made no sense at all. Now after he wrote that, another friend of mine sent me a link to the article, not knowing I’d read it, and he began to make a case, agreeing with everything Ayo said. Now these points were points that I had previously argued in favour of with this guy before, and he did not buy into them because he believed I was not objective, being a gay man and all. However, following Ayo’s elucidation of the points, he was able to read with an open mind and made sense of it, because it was preached by a straight man who he interpreted as having nothing at stake and was therefore being objective.

Premised upon this, I agreed with my friend that some men will have to get married to find their voice, because this country will not buy the message of equality if it is being sold by a man perceived to be gay. For the first time in this debate, I had nothing more to say. I’ll just stick to finding my own voice with money . . . lots of it. *pours a glass of vodka*

*

I think that a gay man outing another gay man, or throwing a homophobic slur at another gay man in public is the worst thing to do ever. And gay men who do this are worse than pond scum.

I was out with someone the other day, a gay someone I considered a close friend (let’s call him Jim), and we were chatting about politics, the just-concluded elections, and the economy, when moments into our talk, another dear friend (Isaac) joined us. Our conversation quickly spiraled into an argument, especially when ethnic sentiments came into play. I was trying to calm nerves and not let the situation escalate, when out came the word.

Faggot!

Jim, with a sneer on his face, glared at Isaac, and in a voice that carried, he called Isaac a faggot. Both Isaac and I were taken aback at first. But Isaac was quick to recover and proceeded to eviscerate this guy who’d just called him a faggot, albeit in a hissed tone of voice. Jim didn’t act remorseful; instead he fired back several more homophobic slurs at Isaac, his voice raised, his demeanor one of a ‘straight guy who doesn’t know why this homo is harassing him.’ I was infuriated, and chipped in a few words, to let Jim know that I was outraged at him. Eventually, when the craziness came to a head, Jim stalked out of the hangout, and I was left apologizing to Isaac. (Until that day, the two of them hadn’t known each other. I was their mutual friend) I used to think of myself as a good judge of character, but never did I think that someone I considered a friend would disparage another gay man with no restraint and in public.

I can’t stand such disrespect.

And I certainly can’t stand such people.

It’s one thing when a straight man spews homophobic hate, but when it comes from another gay man? That is a mortal sin in my rule book. And when I eventually got on BBM to Jim, I did not mince my words with him. I was quite ready to be finished with him. He started to explain and I gave him the BBM rapture. I was terribly disappointed as I have known him from university and I could have sworn he would never do something like that, but internalized homophobia (yes, those two words again) is a black hole that I fought so hard to crawl out of, and – By God! – I will never allow anybody suck me back into it. Everyone is entitled to whatever mess that goes on in their heads. I just don’t have to be part of it.

*

I understand that I missed a bloodbath on KD over the weekend, and quite honestly, I am thrilled I wasn’t on here that day, especially seeing as I hate to fight and ugliness. I tried to check up on the said post, but there was just too much blood and tissue in the comments section. So I closed it.

I have been part of Kito Diaries from inception, and when PP and I were still developing this idea, I never thought it would become this thing that we do in the comments section. I wanted a place where gay people can be open and honest, and have real conversations with one another, a place where we can crowd source solutions to problems and inspire each other.

I agree that we cannot all be friends, but we can certainly be civil with each other. I mean, there are people I don’t like here too, but I will never denigrate them. Yes, we should use freedom of speech to express opinions and all, but there is also such a thing called tact and discretion, and we can learn to use both of them. We cannot continue like this.

I was inspired recently by a young chap that my friend brought over to my house the other day… The things this young guy said about sexual identity and seeking validation surprised me for a 19-year-old. And when I asked him how he learned all this stuff, he answered, “Have you heard of the blog called Kito Diaries?” And my head instantly swelled with pride. I pretended that I did not know what KD was, and he went on and on about how it was this blog he and his friends discovered, and that they have learnt a whole lot of stuff from it. He even mentioned many commenters and said the things he liked about them (I almost gave myself away when he talked about Dennis Macaulay). This adorable chap went ahead to extract a promise that I would visit KD.

Later on, I thought to myself that this is the reason why I wanted us to do this blog: to inspire people like this, to make them grow into their own and change the narrative about gay being invisible. So dear brothers and sisters (we still have lesbians here, yes?), please let us not ruin this thing we started with hate and vitriol.

Meanwhile, PP, I heard you and the rest of the Lipstick Gang hosted an ‘after KD Tea Party’, and you don’t invite me, okwaya? My God is watching you.

*

On a final note, it is always a delight to run into KD readers and meet the people behind some of these monikers. I recently met and spent time with two KDians, and it was a great experience, particularly because I did not previously like one of them. However after I got the chance to prick…sorry, pick his mind, I actually think he is one great guy. I actually like him; both of them turned out to be very amazing people, and I am so glad we met.

The two people in question know themselves, so I will not mention names before CIA people will storm my Facebook account, looking for clues. lol.

XOXO

DM

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Previous Guys Whisper The Highs And (Mostly) Lows Of Online Dating
Next India’s ‘Mr Gay World’ Representative Disappears

About author

You might also like

Series (Non-Fiction) 44 Comments

Kiss And Tell (Entry 3)

I met Tony on Facebook. I liked him almost immediately. I guess this was because of his good looks. He is dark-complexioned, slim-waisted and slightly muscular with a broad chest

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Series (Non-Fiction) 13 Comments

UNDER CONSTRUCTION: SAY HELLO TO MY FOOLISH FRIEND

Foolish Decisions meet Eggsy, Eggsy meet Foolish Decisions. And the two shook hands and became best of pals. The End. What is that word for when a person actively seeks

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Series (Non-Fiction) 36 Comments

THE HUSTLE OF A RAINBOW (Episode 2)

Before I get into the glorious details of Friday, I need to tell you about her. Tori. *stares dopily at her pictures for thirty minutes before continuing* Sigh. Whatever, where

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

87 Comments

  1. Lemuel
    April 22, 06:25 Reply

    Ikwusigo everything. ..but which is the post with blood nd tissues? Tefdon(cnt remember the spelling biko) post?

  2. Eros
    April 22, 06:29 Reply

    DM what is it with you and young chaps ehn?? Mama always warned me about men like you, with their shifty eyes and sweet talk.

    Get behind me devil!! *flees*

      • Eros
        April 22, 06:45 Reply

        Dennis, Dennis, Dennis how many times did I call you ehn? EHN?? Go away oooo!! Do not lead me off the path of righteousness

        *adjusts nun’s habit* *walks away in Jimmy choo shoes hidden under Mary Amaka skirt*

    • Eros
      April 22, 06:41 Reply

      I know right. That word gets thrown about here like bras in a sorority house. People should learn to love themselves

      Life is too short for you to be in denial over your sexuality.

      • Lothario
        April 22, 18:41 Reply

        Lol……I’m curious about your sorority house experience, do tell. PP, a story from Eros perhaps?

  3. Ruby
    April 22, 06:42 Reply

    Seriously its appaling when a gay guy decides to out another gay guy.
    The most annoying are the MGMs *yess I mentioned them*
    They get or give you some sugar this minute while promising you the world and then dissect you for the entire world the next minute.

    • Pete
      April 22, 06:47 Reply

      Somebody have had issues with an MGM, care to tell the house your story?

    • Dennis Macaulay
      April 22, 06:47 Reply

      If you decide to date an MGM, you will always come third behind his wife and kids. Thats something you have to live with! You will become inducted into #SideChicksAnonymous

  4. A-non
    April 22, 06:43 Reply

    Dennis, I read till the point you mentioned last weekend ‘s post and had to make my experience known.

    I was depressed that weekend and felt like slitting my wrists that day, something I have thought of in almost two years…the comments that day only added fuel to fire. For some weird reasons, I couldn’t bring myself to quit reading the comments as I kept refreshing the page and losing all sense of self control.

    It took Peak’s comments to jolt me into calling a friend. The way I called him and knowing my history, he was by my side as quickly as he could, bringing food, a listening ear and love with him.

    After talking my heart out, he packed an overnight bag for me, took me to his home, left instructions with his wife and kids to steer clear of me and allowed me sleep my heart’s full.

    Not everyone has this level of support system and we must be careful what we say and how we say it. Spoken words are huge, written ones are forever. I have followed KD so far because I could be real to myself and speak without fear of being judged but what KD has turned to recently has made me recoil and be more cautious.

    KD has always been a fountain of hope, let’s not pollute it..please I beg of everyone.

    • Dennis Macaulay
      April 22, 06:51 Reply

      Wise words Anon! All my love to you! You will always pull through and KD will remain the refreshing fountain that it was

    • Teflondon
      April 22, 09:17 Reply

      Sorry for the part I played in all of that.. I truly am… *i cross my heart*
      Hope to change!

      • Lothario
        April 22, 18:45 Reply

        I’m happy you said this Tef….. Honestly, I don’t.think you’re bad….you just want to play the role of devil’s advocate.

  5. Pete
    April 22, 06:44 Reply

    Same thing happened to me. Somebody referred me to KD & even sent a link. Unlike you, I told him I’m already there.

  6. trystham
    April 22, 06:46 Reply

    Like Brother Ayo has said, EVERYTHING in Nigeria will kill you. Marry 1st and support gay rights. You go hear “wud u like ur children to be gay? He don marry dey enjoy ‘toto’ o”. Beta to av the money n b able to speak against the whole shii. But then, if we all wait to be rich n famous b4 we think to make impact…*shrugs and continues reading about the French Revolution*
    As to your idiot friend (u seem to be packing a lot of dose recently), I prophesy that na for inside that hang-out bar dem go kito am, with the whole lynching works. Nonsense n Ingredients.

    You too? Who then are these ‘exclusive’ set of friends always invited to the parties?

    • Dennis Macaulay
      April 22, 06:57 Reply

      My dear, I know I am the honorary chair of the lipstick gang and I dont get invited to these parties. Who does PP host them with na? Talk about betrayal.

      As for the slur throwing idiot, I did not see that coming but the other person was equal to the task so I was not worried. The fool was eviscerated

    • Brian Collins
      April 23, 20:00 Reply

      So trystham, was it really Marie Antoinette’s obsessive love for CAKES that was the remote trigger for the French revolution? #AskingforDennis’PeaceofMind.

  7. Phoenix
    April 22, 06:46 Reply

    DM, that’s a fine argument your friend put up there concerning the marriage thing. But have we really sat down to think about the effects this sham marriage will have on the woman, the wife? Who wants to stay under a roof where she is only being tolerated? And even the man? It is like being doubly closeted, like wearing 5 bum shorts because you don’t want anyone getting in there. Your discomfort will worsen as the time passes, no matter how much you pretend. Such men cry, maybe even more than others, in their double closets. I wouldn’t want to go through that and I wouldn’t want any woman to go through any emotional asikwara-asighi because of me. By the way, I came across this old short story on African Writers. I think it’s titled NO MORE BIRDS- about a gay guy and a lesbian making arrangements to get married. They eventually did but things got ugly. You should read it. Maybe PP can even share it here.

    The thing with gay men outing other gay men? I think it’s less than base; and I think it’s one way some people try to see if they can lie to themselves by going, “Yeah. I spoke ill of him from the POV of him being gay. I think I may not be gay, afterall.” It’s nonsense! If you’re gay, you’re gay. Your being gay does not make you morally inferior to the straight guys.

    And DM, though I only started to comment here today, I want to say that I’m a big fan of RRgN, and your Twitter page too. That body! *coughs*

    KD has brought us all joy. Those who scratch at each others’ faces here are like the kinds who when they get a present jump on the couch for joy. They are overpowered by the joy, or so I think.

    *finger in nose*

    • Dennis Macaulay
      April 22, 07:04 Reply

      Phoenix people get married for different reasons, I like to respect people’s choices and sensibilities. Some MGMs genuinely fell in love with their wives and genuinely enjoy their marriages (I know a few). Its certainly not something I would try, but some people do make it work. What i frown at (from my high horse……yes) is being married to a woman and still whoring around with boys.

      This one time I shall play judge judy and judge you.

      About the avi? Honey dont let the devil use you lol

      • Chris
        April 22, 08:13 Reply

        I take it that you frown at MBM having a male lover @DM
        #asking on behalf of a friend:)

      • sinnex
        April 22, 08:44 Reply

        owwwwww….this is soooooo romantic but I hope that you know it is not only MGM/MBI who cheat on their partners. Even if/when you get married to a man, you will surely cheat on him.

      • sinnex
        April 22, 09:00 Reply

        Besides I am surprised that the major reasons why some people are against MGM/MBM is because of infidelity. This is coming out from a supposed oppressed set of people.

        What gives you the impression that infidelity is wrong?

        What is the difference between you guys and those who say homosexuality is against the law of nature and God.

        I thought most people here were free thinkers, so, what is wrong in cheating? Since when did cheating become a bad thing?

        I need answers. Because all I am seeing is a set of people trying to push their opinions down the throat of others.

      • Chuck
        April 22, 10:34 Reply

        @Sinnex, cheating is disrespect. Love is not disrespectful.

      • Chris
        April 22, 11:17 Reply

        @ sinnex, cheating i dont subscribe to, not right, disrespectful. indicate poor self esteem, . dont let me preach:)

      • Sinnex
        April 22, 11:39 Reply

        You guys should not eat me alive oooo. Virgins do not cheat. So I was just asking for my “piss” of mind.

      • Pete
        April 22, 11:49 Reply

        I understand where Sinnex is coming from. While I don’t condone infidelity, Fidelity is a societal prescription

    • trystham
      April 22, 07:14 Reply

      Yeah. I do imagine the marriage wud become messy. Emotions wud b involved, jealousy…looking forward to reading the material.

      What happened to DMs body??? *bleh* He had better av gone slimmer #TeamWeLoveFido

      Lolz @ finger in nose. Is that supposed to make u look ‘cuter’ n more innocent?

      • Dennis Macaulay
        April 22, 07:21 Reply

        Trystham? You want me to loose more weight? Hian* you want me to disappear? After i have been advised to “increase your food portions cos you look sickly”, you still want me to loose weight!

        Now I know who my enemies are!
        #SkinnyBishes

      • Dennis Macaulay
        April 22, 07:58 Reply

        Leave them na! I know where he sees fat and that fat aint going anywhere hun!

  8. Chris
    April 22, 06:57 Reply

    ….. of course, who wants to listen to a single 40years old man advocating or defending the rights of a gay man, in Nigeria? I dont think so. Nigerians would hesitatingly pay attention to a married man (assumingly straight) trying to champion the rights of a gay dude to a single male (assuming to be gay) justifying
    the existence of a gay guy.
    When a single male is trying to do this in i believe an african clime, especially Nigeria, I could hear the echo
    of the statements such as ‘misery loves company’ or ‘birds of the same feathers’

    All the straight (i loathe the word, so gay and bi folks are bent shey) people that spoke out to support the lgbti during the anti gay bill passed in 2013 were almost labelled gay but people still grant them audience, imagine it was gay folks trying to do the same thing, hence we didnt hear much of a united or loud voice coming from lgbti
    at that particular time (my observation though).
    All will be well one day, the only thing that is constant is change.

    • Dennis Macaulay
      April 22, 07:08 Reply

      A lot of people listened to Ayo, his article stirred a huge debate online and some people kept an open mind while he advanced hia argument.

      Nigerians are that way and this is what my dear friend was pointing out, that he wants to be a very vocal LGBT activitist, but he will do so as a married man

      • trystham
        April 22, 07:20 Reply

        I dinnor see these open minded set of ppl o. Except u guys took it off twitter. He didn’t bother replying the haters after realising them for fools and dose seemed more than the open minded. I followed his arguments back then o

      • Chris
        April 22, 08:20 Reply

        I know my folks (nigerians) very well, they can be bent(excused the pun) but it will take someone or some people playing for the other team ie. heterosexual folks to be able to fight for lgbti rights better, trust me,
        Nigerans are not so narrow minded as much as we pretend to be. we just like to do ‘follow follow’ sometimes, pretending to be a homophobe because our friends and neighbours are.

  9. Ruby
    April 22, 07:16 Reply

    @ Dennis yeah I “was” once a side chick anonymous member but I’ve shed those garbs and moved on.
    @ Pete the stories are too numerous but I’ll summarize them with this question: How would you feel if you discovered that those MGMs who claim you are the only one they know plus their “supposedly straight” friends actually have a round table Conference with you as an agenda calling you all sorts of names???
    Well that’s behind me *Putting on my blush and crimson Zac Posen Mermaid gown for a date with Bae*

  10. pinkpanthertb
    April 22, 07:48 Reply

    Lol. Max, forever championing the Skinny Bishes movement.

    • wondabuoy
      April 23, 06:01 Reply

      The link to the NO MORE BIRDS article. You want it?

  11. Absalom
    April 22, 07:50 Reply

    This your friend’s argument is interesting.

  12. s_sensei
    April 22, 08:44 Reply

    I always enjoy your ranting, DM. Like I told you days ago, you have an interesting life!

    • Teflondon
      April 22, 09:21 Reply

      Or an interesting Make-believe life. Lol
      #JustSaying

      • Colossus
        April 22, 09:33 Reply

        You need help that Jesus and Satan cannot provide. Lol #justsaying

    • Dennis Macaulay
      April 22, 09:37 Reply

      Sensei my darling, its basically because I write about everything. Loads of people do more stuff and they dont talk about it nobody knows. I think PP takes the cake on having an interesting life

    • Chris
      April 22, 11:22 Reply

      @tef, are you his neighbour:)?or you are privy to info about DM that we dont ve:)?
      #Dontjustsaylol

  13. La-Coozee
    April 22, 08:52 Reply

    Is it wrong if I say I’m in love with Dennis Macaulay? His entries are always delightful to read. An excellent piece that addresses what should be done.

  14. Teflondon
    April 22, 09:29 Reply

    *sigh* So many things (albiet irrelevant) to talk about…
    There’s really nothing note-worthy to talk about here today.
    Fair read tho*

    That said..
    KD is for inspiring and all of that.. Understood. But alittle drama and humor shade is good for the system you know? Just a little, tiny-little-bits of it is good. No?

  15. Colossus
    April 22, 09:58 Reply

    Let me start from the bottom(pun intended). Who are these guys you met? They sound like they are great guys. I mean, if you can come around to eventually like one of them, I’ll surely like to know who that one especially is. Is it easy to be hated and then loved? That guy must be all sorts of amazing.

    On the blood bath, it was not really so bad. There was not enough blood on the floor, It did not even rise above my feet. Oh I miss chizzie, he came with machete, AK-47s and rocket launcher. Oh the blood bath was a sight to behold, the witches in my village always had enough and more to carry home in bucket fills.
    *sigh*
    If only You,PP and khaleesi did not have him executed **sigh**

    That MGM angle is new to me. Getting married to be an activist that would be heard? With so many reasons to get married, never thought about how being an activist could be one of them. Ok, sounds plausible. Almost illogical but plausible. Your views on MGM seems to be shifting, do we have this your friend you once hated to thank?

    • Dennis Macaulay
      April 22, 10:23 Reply

      Oh Colossus get over yourself on both counts! Lol

      My views on MGMs have not changed, I just stated an argument advanced by my friend. I dont endorse it.

      About the guys i met, well the “other one” turned out to be really cool and witty, like I actually like him now and you and I both know who so shut up!

      • Jeova Sanctus Unus
        April 22, 20:22 Reply

        But we don’t know what Colossus knows.

        I’d like to know the particular KDian so I too may adjust my opinion of this “really cool and witty” person. It’s a quick way to get us to like each other faster 🙂

    • Khaleesi
      April 22, 10:58 Reply

      @Colossus, see me ooo ***throws up henna-ed manicured hands in indignation*** – i have been hounding Pinky to
      #BringBackOurChizzie #BringBackOurVitriolBitch
      #WhatHaveYouDoneToOurBitch
      #WeWantOurChizzieBack
      Please join me in trending this hashtag, i really really want Chizzie back, i miss her lethal skills ….

  16. Khaleesi
    April 22, 10:43 Reply

    Week after week, DM, you drop thought provoking and insightful pieces!! As for the issue of gay men having to get married in order to speak out from a secure position, i honestly dont know what to say about that, i guess to each his own …
    Gay men who try to smear other gay men on account of being gay which they themselves are, are the worst specimen of human scum. I CANNOT have such people anywhere around me, that despicable trait speaks volumes about the person’s ruthless and devious nature – and i find such utterly repulsive. All i can say to such people is “I wish you a daily dose of kito for an entire month!” I dont need such dark twisted and damaged individuals anywhere near me!
    Indeed, it was a festival of blood and guts last weekend – it was unfortunate that a brother posted about a serious personal issue, and some venom – fileld individuals saw it as a cheap opportunity to settle perceived scores and gain popularity. I must confess, i was outraged at what i saw that i had to jump into the fray with claws unfurled. yes, i partook in the blood-bath and have absolutely no apologies for that! I have however, resolved to abide by Pinky’s admonitions for peace to reign in the gaybourhood and seeing as the pre-eminent purpose of this blog is to inspire, educate and serve as a haven of sorts. Nevertheless, my weaponry is still armed and at full alert – adi ama ama Onicha gwara Obosi (just in case).
    yes, i know that amazing feeling when you run into a random guy and find out he’s an avid reader of KD, the feeling of pride and fulfilment when you can see the positive impact that this blog is having on gay men. That is enough reason to keep hope alive as well as encourage Sista Pinky — Nne more grease to your mangina biko!!!

      • Chris
        April 22, 11:31 Reply

        @ DM&Khaleesi….i and i bet some other brethren up here will appreciate subtitle, i mean, interpretation to the igbo language/lingo that you guys and others up here are always sharing
        Appreciation in advance.

    • trystham
      April 22, 11:22 Reply

      *holds paw and examines sharpened claws* I really wonder how easy it is to hold on to that resolve *pats paws* They look in tip-top shape. Stay well

  17. Diablo
    April 22, 11:37 Reply

    Let’s assume for a second that maybe Jim had other pressing issues, and was going through alot, which caused him to lash out and use the F word. Which seems more logically especially seeing as you’ve known him for a while and his behavior was unprecedented. Not everything can be attributed to “internalized homophobia”, sometimes ppl just snap for reasons best known to them and act unexpectedly. The main motive of an insult is that it hurts and some people will say anything, just to ensure it strikes a nerve. That was probably Jim’s rationale and intent. Again human nature, not internalized homophobia.

    plus you giving Jim, someone you’ve known since uni the “bbm rapture” was abit dramatic and uncalled for, surely there must’ve been more to your friendship than both your sexualities.

    • Sinnex
      April 22, 11:41 Reply

      Besides he did not tell us what they were talking about. I can’t talk about something I know nothing about.

    • Chris
      April 22, 12:13 Reply

      But the word ‘fag’ at fellow gay dude? taking into account the level of annoyance, frustration, anger,
      temperament or eviroment, hmmm….i still say it is not on. Maybe there is now hierarchy in the gay/bi
      kingdom that denote seniority as to who can or is allowed to throw jibe at the other.?

    • Dennis Macaulay
      April 22, 12:57 Reply

      Diablo you are excusing a gay man calling another gay man a faggot in public? You are actually trying to excuse it? Oh well!

      Anyways everybody is entitled to whatever mess that goes on in their head, such people will never ever have any spot in my life.

      Hurl a homophobic slur at someone whether you are gay or straight and I am done with you. Do so while gay, then you are pond scum in my eyes!

    • Jeova Sanctus Unus
      April 22, 20:48 Reply

      A lot of people are racist without knowing it. It takes that single highly emotional moment to realize it.

      We Never Really Grow Up, We Just Learn How To Act In Public

      A large number of us here are homophobic. We give excuses for having issues with effeminate men:
      – If I want a girl, I’ll go for a girl.
      – You’re a man, act like it.
      – They are dramatic, I don’t like it.
      – I don’t enjoy attention.
      – I’m just not comfortable around them.

      But we mostly never have issues being friends with masculine ladies.

      Most of us love Queen Latifa, DA Brat, Eve, Missy E, Ciara, Eva, Muna, Weird MC, etc.

      Most times the people who hate other people’s drama. It’s called Psychological Projection. I for one don’t have enough drama, so I love people who got aome.

      Most times “I don’t enjoy attention” translates to ‘I don’t want anyone thinking I could be gay’.

      No matter how yo see it, if you dislike a person because of something related to their sexuality (and they happen to be gay), you’re a homophobe. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay or not.

      But to be fair, a lot of us have no idea we are homophobic. A number of southern Nigerians have issues with Muslims. Of course they’d never agree to being islamophobic. A firm in the same building as my old office were pushing for the Hausa guards to be sent off or made to cease sleeping on the premises. Their argument — “we’re scared they may blow us up one day”.

      So, this has nothing to do with (harmless) idiosyncrasies. Black people who whose judgment are affected by shadism have issues just as gay people haunted by mannerisms.

      • Absalom
        April 22, 21:05 Reply

        Thank you, Jeova Sanctus, thank you.

        Hugs.

      • JustJames
        April 22, 21:57 Reply

        I’ve got a question. I don’t feel very comfortable when some of my my friends become quite loud and act really effeminate in public but in my room and probably in a more tolerant country I’d laugh along with them and call and even attempt to act like them. Am I homophobic?

      • Jeova Sanctus Unus
        April 23, 21:25 Reply

        @Jemima, give me reasons for your reservation and I will be able to make an inference.

    • Brian Collins
      April 23, 21:06 Reply

      There is no logical reason for a gay man to call another a faggot. It comes across as really stupid and unreasonable (see, not reasonable). It a derogatory word used by either ignorant or homophobic people to describe gays what is the gay man’s excuse for using it. Pardon the comparison but it is like a prostitute calling another an ‘ashawo’ in an arguement.
      As for him saying anything just to hurt someone, are you comparing him to Chizzie, like when he said something really crappy about Dubem sometime ago? Are you saying Dennis may be friends with a chizzie incarnate in real life and doesnt know it?

  18. Peaches
    April 22, 20:05 Reply

    I like to read n NEVER comment. But this “hating on a sister/brother” and yanking at you weaves and gullets all the tym beats my imagination. Whatever happened to being sweet n short-tempered and adorable? Eh??… Odiegwu o. This clash of testosterone, estrogen and testostrogen is quite exhausting… Learn to occupy space like Adele, with shades like Lady gaga and makeup like Nicki(my rolls model) and laugh. It does work wonders. *stretches out Nicki legs and looks away*

  19. dikamichaels
    May 06, 20:09 Reply

    Nice piece…. my friend introduced me to this blog last month, and I’m kinda addicted ( had to download this shitty app cuz of this) lol.

Leave a Reply