RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 37)

RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 37)

You guys remember the kito story that was run on the #NoStrings podcast? Well I followed up on the story till the end and I want to give some feedback.

Following the update of the story, I heard that the boy (Isaac) left home because he couldn’t bear the shame and all, and that his parents were not keen on stopping him from leaving home. I was concerned, and immediately put a call across to Pink Panther to get a full briefing on what was going on exactly. He didn’t give me much but he gave me the number of Mike Daemon, the creative director of the No Strings Podcast (whom going forward I shall refer to as MD). He was the one who covered the story himself.

I called MD and he brought me up to speed on the issue with more disturbing details, and I was further convinced that we had to do something about the case. I pleaded with MD to go back to Isaac’s residence and try to find out where he had relocated to, and to see if there was any way we could help him. MD hedged a bit at my request, an understandable reaction, seeing as this was his neighbourhood and he wanted to be careful not to get too roped into the situation. But upon further appeal, he agreed and promised to get back to me later with information.

Later on, I called him and he said he had gone to Isaac’s house and was informed that he’d left home out of shame; his parents were too concerned about what shame they felt he had brought on them to bother much about where he had gone. His mother, who MD spoke with, didn’t even have her son’s phone number. We became disturbed, very disturbed. MD was able to however gather from the mother that there was an aunt in another town who was quite fond of Isaac and had been asking him to come visit her. MD had to go to the drug store where the kito happened and got Isaac’s phone number from the loser who set him. And using that medium, MD was able to find out that Isaac was staying in a market somewhere.

This knowledge chilled me. This was the peak of the harmattan season; even in my house, I sleep with heavy comforters, so I could not begin to imagine someone sleeping outdoors and in a marketplace. The thought was just horrific.

I told MD to see if he could get Isaac to follow him to my place for a decent meal and a bed to sleep on. During this discourse, we agreed to impress on Isaac the need for him to take this time to go and visit that aunt of his and stay with her; judging by his mother’s assertion of the aunt’s fondness for Isaac, we hoped she would let her nephew stay with her. Also, MD, who had been interacting with Isaac, also let on to me that he (Isaac) had started waxing religious, saying that his kito situation was a punishment from God for dabbling into sin. This further worried me and I knew I needed to have a sit-down with this kid and figure out what was going on in his head.

After we made the decision that he would have to be encouraged to travel to go be with his aunt until things got better, we resolved to raise some money for him for transportation and a little extra to have in his pocket during the journey. Most importantly however, I needed to speak with him and set his head straight. I called a few KDians whom I knew personally to chip in on our campaign to raise some money for Isaac. They responded so generously that within fifteen minutes, we had thirty thousand naira, way more than we even set out to raise.

I called MD and asked about him bringing Isaac over for the night, as my plan was to take him straight to the park in the morning and hand him the money. MD however revealed that the guy insisted that he didn’t want to meet any other person regarding the issue. This of course was a reaction to the situation he was in; he was young and afraid and I understood. So I reached out to Sensei, who is a psychiatrist, with the idea of him talking to Isaac through the phone. I told MD this, and he revealed that the boy was also declining that.

At this point, I was both exasperated and worried. Did this lad prefer sleeping in the market? Did he not want our help? It was all so confusing. MD said there wasn’t much he could do, it was evening time and he had to go home, and suggested we try again the next day. A lot of people were in communication with MD on the issue, trying to find a solution, especially Sensei, PP and Absalom. Eventually Absalom and I agreed that even if Isaac didn’t want to come to my house that night, I could always go pick him up in the morning and take him to the motor park. I called MD and told him that he and I would go together to the market where Isaac was residing, but he should not tell the boy he was coming with me. I didn’t want him spooked. MD declined, saying that since Isaac had insisted he didn’t want to get involved with a third party, he was going to have to respect his wishes.

Now I still had this thirty thousand naira that was meant for a boy who was proving impossible to reach. To be honest, I didn’t feel comfortable getting the money to him through a proxy such as MD, not because I thought MD was dishonest or anything, no, but because I reasoned that handing that money over without getting to speak to him was not going to achieve anything. I needed to let him understand that it was okay to like men and that it was the people who set him up who were the bad guys in this episode of his life, not him. I needed to let him know that being gay does not cut short your destiny, as MD reported he’d said. MD could not talk to him about these things because they lived in the same neighbourhood, and MD didn’t want to risk outing himself.

The following day, I spoke to MD asking him what the way forward was going to be. He sounded frustrated and asked me to return the money to the people who contributed it, if I was going to insist on giving the money to Isaac in person. He maintained that Isaac did not want to meet me or anyone else. I quickly got frustrated myself, frustrated and exhausted with the process.

Then Absalom called me and during our conversation, he said I should let MD have the money and pass it on to Isaac, and that we could follow up on Isaac later and talk to him, since the primary focus at this point was to get him to a place of safety and comfort. I agreed. The next person I spoke to was Sensei, and because I was a little swamped, I asked him to help me get in touch with MD, so that we could see about getting the money across to him. Sensei later got back to me saying that MD had refused to accept the money; apparently he was concerned about some people and what they’d say concerning him collecting the money. As such, he refused to be a go-between.

And so, we were stuck at an impasse. I couldn’t meet Isaac to hand him the money in person. And MD who was the only person who had access to him had refused to be a go-between. There was a lot of back and forth at this point, between me, MD, Sensei and PP, all to naught. Eventually, I got tired and decided to return the money. Before I set that in motion however, I spoke to MD one last time. But the story didn’t change; Isaac was still adamant about not meeting anyone, and he (MD) did not want to get any further roped in. He maintained that I should return the contributions. And so I did.

I eventually got to hear that MD was able to get Isaac out of the market to the safety of his friend’s place. This both surprised and pleased me. I was pleased that the boy was out of the marketplace, and surprised that he’d agreed to follow MD to a third party’s place, the exact same thing I’d been pushing for earlier which never happened.

I’d like to end by saying that I really wish MD will give us a final update on what happened and how the story ended. I also really want to thank those that were concerned with the plight of this young kid; Colossus, Absalom, Sensei, Chestnut, Pete and Pink Panther. Thank you guys for helping out.

XOXO

DM

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61 Comments

  1. XavierA
    January 06, 06:09 Reply

    God bless you Dennis, your act of kindness is highly commendable.

    As for Isaac, I can understand his fears and worries (I mean; Once bitten, twice shy). I pray he overcomes this psychological horror and moves on with his life.

  2. wealth
    January 06, 06:18 Reply

    Wow,what you guys did was the best I’ve heard this 2016,GOD will bless your efforts. You did your best and really show concern. I hope you don’t get mad at the kid,he doesn’t seem like a guy that loves being pitied. Wow,I never knew people like you guys still exist.welld one y’all.

  3. Kenny
    January 06, 07:15 Reply

    A very big thank you to you DM for your efforts and to all those who also made efforts and contributed. God bless you all.

    Why do I feel like MD was only interested in the news when it happened and not helping out the guy after the incident….

    • pete
      January 06, 08:18 Reply

      Why not wait to hear MD’s version before telling us your feelings? I meant this in a good way

    • Brian Collins
      January 06, 08:21 Reply

      You ‘felt’ wrong. According to what Dennis wrote, MD ended up achieving the feat of getting Isaac out of the cold. I just really wished that he had accepted the help Dennis offered.

  4. Max 2.0
    January 06, 07:56 Reply

    I think I can understand his fear. If someone you’ve known for a long time could set u up, it wouldn’t take much for a bunch of strangers to do the same. Oh and internalized homophobia is a bitch. I applaud you Dennis & Co because I personally would’ve gotten tired the minute he refused. Bravo!

    • Francis
      January 06, 16:32 Reply

      Nna eh, as soon as he rejected help twice, I for don pick race as red go just dey flash anyhow for my mind. *I be thinking, guy you sure say big wahala no dey behind this help wey you wan render and God just dey take style tell you to waka far*

      @DM and co, una do well. Una patience no be small sometin. May God bless you guys a million folds and send peeps to your aid in your individual time of need ????

  5. Timi LEO
    January 06, 08:10 Reply

    waow.. kudos to you guys, with such a great team more could be done

  6. simba
    January 06, 08:18 Reply

    U guys did well.. poor boy. This trauma may live with him forever.

    • Brian Collins
      January 06, 08:25 Reply

      Right you are. Some of us are able to handle trauma better than others. I only remember my experience because of the life documents I lost and am having difficulty reobtain. May not be that easy for some people.

  7. Brian Collins
    January 06, 08:30 Reply

    You did well Dennis. One can’t blame MD really. Things could have gotten really get bad for him too if the boy decided to rat him out.
    I was very concerned too Dennis, just ask PP.
    And to all those who contributed – you guys are amazing. KD truly is not a community full of only evil, insensitive people.

  8. Kester
    January 06, 09:04 Reply

    Oh Dennis and PP and all of you who contributed or attempted to help God bless you richly.
    You will eventually reach the boy, trust me. It’s a small world after all. And he will get over this phase in his life, Nigerians are rather tough people. Most times issues like these leave us stronger and better. I remember what happened to me after I was kitoed and outed I was so ashamed I wanted to commit suicide and end it all, at some point I thought God was punishing me for giving in to my feelings…….. but I got over it. Time actually heals. I know not everyone is built psychologically the way I am but with good friends around me and a strong determination not to die I passed that phase. Now I am very careful, I try to improve myself and excel in my career to be the best at what ever I am doing. Though many of you disagree with chizzie, he is correct when he says we should avoid lowlifes. They are the ones who bring about this kito thing more. I cried when I read this because I remember myself searching eternally in the wrong places for love and acceptance. I just wish you could meet this Isaac he needs to be spoken to and to know he is not alone. When he succeeds in life his family will come looking for him and wanting to identify. Sorry for the rant, I guess I got all emotional.

    • Dennis Macaulay
      January 06, 09:17 Reply

      Big hug! Like the phoenix you have risen out of the ashes!

      *muah*

  9. Mike Daemon
    January 06, 09:21 Reply

    To be clear on this, Isaac became all religious over night, and did not follow me to a friends house, he followed me to a friends church, where he slept in a security house. He felt relieved when I told him it was a church. And please there is a confidentiality statement/and privacy policy on my website that protects people who talk on my podcast, and it won’t be ethical if I go against that for whatever reasons. This is the only way we can stay safe and people will get to trust my platform.

    If you therefore feel concerned and want to help anyone who appear on the podcast, you can do so anonymously through me. I will never release a person’s personal details or trick them into meeting with other people when they’ve made it clear that they do not want to meet with anyone.

    To listen to my conversation with the mother, follow here: nostringspodcast.com/mother-of-nigerian-homosexual-son-who-got-outed-a-few-days-ago-in-port-harcourt-says-i-didnt-chase-him-away-i-think-the-father-did/

    • kacee
      January 06, 10:22 Reply

      I understand you Mike Daemon, as a reporter you can never reveal the identity of your source (in the US the court can’t even force a reporter to reveal his source) except the source wants you too reveal his identity.

  10. Mr. Fingers
    January 06, 09:30 Reply

    U guys did well. May Godbless u all. I wish the guy luck.

    By the way if I was the MD guy I would feel bad too. U insisting u would give out the 30k ur self shows u don’t trust him whether u say otherwise. And considering the risk and stress he went through any reasonable person would feel the same too.

    Am happy it ended well.

    • Dennis Macaulay
      January 06, 10:11 Reply

      I clarified that there was no issue with handing the money through a proxy, I simply wanted to meet the victim and talk to him. I needed him to understand that what happened to him is not okay and I felt that if we handed the money just like that we will not have achieved much.

      I still did a turn around the following day and decided to hand over the money as the concern was for his safety primarily and MD declined to accept, which to be honest was very strange to me.

      The focus was supposed to be on the victim who clearly needed the help, and not on any other thing!

      • Mr. Fingers
        January 06, 10:27 Reply

        Well I guess everyone had their reasons why they took the decisions that they took.

        I know where u are going to, but I don’t agree having this conversation here would be good for everyone involved.

        And by the way, the kid might not ve gotten the money or somewhere to live but the fact that some persons were around him during that trying period, trying to help him out really meant a lot to him. He might not even realise that now.

  11. Delle
    January 06, 09:39 Reply

    Why would he act so adamantly? Who in such precarious situation acts like that? That boy needs a good spanking.
    I’m really pleased you, DM could go this far wanting to help out that little boy, Isaac. Was he scared you guys were just another round of set-ups? Has he finally relinquished his sexuality, not that it’s possible anyway? Cos I can’t wrap my head as to why he should be so stubborn. He could have had a better life, more friends in his life that not only understand but share what he feels with him.

    This is so saddening, depressing. The fact his mother let him go without as much as having her son’s phone number is just too much. What mother does that?! How wicked can someone get?! He’s obviously psychologically drained because of that. Sleeping in a marketplace?! I can’t handle, oh God, I’m about to cry.

    So glad, so so glad Mike helped him out. With the way things were going, he may as well have taken his life, a thought I can’t bear.
    Oh God, I hate this country! You, God, would look down on your child(ren), seeing what they go through and look away? What happened to, ‘I won’t give you a cross bigger than u can carry’?!
    I’m really teary-eyed right now, just want this country to divide or something! Where’s Biafra o?
    Once again, a heartfelt appreciation and love to all those who tried helping, gay men do have hearts.
    *dabbing eyes*

  12. Teflondon
    January 06, 09:56 Reply

    I’m glad you took my advice and actually DO something..
    Atleast i can confirm the authenticity of this story because i also reached out to Mike Deamon but he refuted any advances of collecting money to help the poor boy. I totally understand both the boy and MD’s fears, so any form of blame should not be attached anywhere or to anyone as it seems some Kdains are beginning to do that.

  13. Dennis Macaulay
    January 06, 10:06 Reply

    My question is simple really what was the point of the story as we ended up not being able to help the boy?

    Confidentiality stood in the way of us meeting the victim and extending a hand, the proxy also will not accept cash to help the victim?

    What then was the point of running the story? If at the end of the day we are not able to help the victim? I am not making any accusations or anything of the sort I simply want to know.

    At the end of the day what did we achieve? Or did help come from some other quarters? And Mike Daemon can you clarify what you mean by “anonymously through me”? Because you did decline to receive the money and transmit same!

    • Kenny
      January 06, 10:49 Reply

      In my opinion, it was just another story for him to run. He could have gotten the boy out of there before he went to the market place. I remember kdians were asking for an account so they could donate funds, there was no response. He probably didn’t even do a follow up because if he did, he would have the boy’s number and there would have been no need to go to his parents house to look for him. And then he was kind of reluctant when DM reached to him so you see….. Once again, this is just how I feel.

  14. kacee
    January 06, 10:08 Reply

    Omg I can’t even imagine the torture he faced when he was kitoed, I hope he gets through this.

  15. sinnex
    January 06, 11:33 Reply

    I think Mike goofed on this one. The confidentiality clause is balderdash. I know it is a necessity but there should always be an exception. If anything happens to the guy, MD should be blamed. The guy needs all the help he can get. If i was the one that asked for personal information, i would have understood if i was not given because ‘I am always Hard’, but PP, Sensei and even DM asked to see the boy and MD refused. Now, i am starting to believe that MD is only interested in news and driving traffic to His blog.

    At first, when I read the piece, I didn’t want to comment because I know there are 2 sides of a story, but MD’s part doesn’t make sense. The part of protecting his sexuality doesn’t hold water because I think the easiest way of helping the guy is by making him know that you are just like him and that there are many more like him out there.

    I don’t want anything bad to happen to that boy. I don’t want anyone to take advantage of his situation. The truth is that I am very angry right now, and if MD was close to me I would have slapped some sense into him.

    Seriously, what is the use of sharing the story? I am confused right now. If this guy is left alone, I am sorry to say, but I don’t see him ending well.

    • Mr. Fingers
      January 06, 11:42 Reply

      Didn’t u read the part where the kid refused to speak with any third party?

      And u are asking him to blow his cover when it’s obvious his being effective in gathering news depends on his ability not to be exposed. It’s the same thing lawyers go through when they meet a client that has kito issues. U want to help but u need to thread softly so u don’t get roped in by the mess u are trying to resolve.

      Believe me if that kid went religious the last set of human beings he would want to relate with right now are tbs. It’s bullshit but that’s the reality.

      • sinnex
        January 06, 11:50 Reply

        Dude, fuck news! Who cares about news? We are talking about helping the boy. So, if the boy commits suicide now, you would come out and say that it was his decision. Well, I think we should just leave MD alone because he is only concerned about news. There is a limit to what he can do, he is just a person. He doesn’t know everything. If someone decides to help, I don’t see why he should be hoarding information. Besides, if you read very well, you’d see that MD wasn’t interested in following the story.

        • Mr. Fingers
          January 06, 12:26 Reply

          Well if u read it very well u would know why he was not too keen abt following it.

        • Brian Collins
          January 06, 13:08 Reply

          Aswear Sinnex, suicide was what came to my mind. Some people go through less and commit suicide. The whole trauma, the shame, the rejection from his family, his mother not showing her unconditional love, the self hate he must feel. All those things can lead one to suicide.

  16. Yoruba Demon
    January 06, 12:21 Reply

    Why doesn’t this surprise me? From day one when the story ran I said that MD just wanted a story and wasn’t about helping the boy and some people disagreed! I have been vindicated!

    If you listened to the podcast over his British/Akwa Ibom accent he even joined them to harass the boy under the guise of not blowing his cover.

    He is reluctant to get roped into the story? But he was tweeting the podcast at Linda Ikeji and Sahara reporters? So that the story will trend and he will get hits on the podcast all the while forgetting that there is a victim in the story!

    The selfishness of humanity never ceases to amaze me and my guess is that MD did not do any follow up, he was just lying to Dennis and Co! He just couldn’t be bothered to lift a muscle after all he had gotten what he wanted; a story and this is very unfortunate!

    Read his defensive response here; where is the boy? How did the story end? Did he go back home? Notice how he defended himself and conveniently left out the important details?

    I am with Sinnex on this one!

    • Francis
      January 06, 17:08 Reply

      Tweeting at LIB ke?! Make Linda do wetin oh? That one that will just fling the poor boy to the vultures on her site. ??

  17. Mike Daemon
    January 06, 13:05 Reply

    Driving traffic to my blog? Yeah right, off course i want that, as it is the only way that more people will come to find out and understand what is going on with LGBT people here in Nigeria.

    And please Note: I am not ready to disclose my sexual orientation to a total stranger all because i feel i want to help him/her, this off course will be very unprofessional. And Hello??? Sinnex it is you who did not read the story carefully. I followed up the story, and got his number. The boy is safe, and that is all i can reveal.

    Confidentiality agreement here means that ‘I will not reveal or share personal information as it concerns a victim, or anyone who shares their story on my podcast, for any reason whatsoever if they have asked me not to do so’.

    I refused accepting the money because they made it seem and sounded like they were not going to release funds unless they get to meet the boy first. And during the course of my interaction with some people who were concerned, someone said to me “We must and need to put a face to who we are helping” how does that come across? the boy was not ready to meet with people, and if not for the fact that i was there where the incidence happened, he wouldn’t have agreed to even meet with me, as he said so himself. I am a stranger to him for God’s sake!

    And about anonymity, i mean, if you securely want to help an individual who’ve come to talk on the podcast, you can agree to not reveal even your own identity and render whatever assistance, you must not always go broadcast it to everyone that you gave a person this or that.

    And No, no one is paying me to run NoStrings, and there is no financial benefit tied to what i am doing, i am not an organization, but i can always refer people with their consent off course to other organizations and groups concerned that is; should they need further assistance. Also, i do not run ad’s on my website for people to say i am making money off traffic.

    And finally, Dennis to answer your question about why i ran the story, please visit my about page, it can be found here: http://www.nostringspodcast.com/about-us/ and read carefully, as you will surely understand the mission behind what i am doing, i cannot go beyond the scope of what i have started, unless with time i get the needed support and a new plan is drafted.

    Now how many of you have come forward to actually support what i am doing or ask about how you can actually support? I mean, since i started, its been about downloading episodes and making a fuss about trivial observations.

    Now something happens and everyone wants to come and be a HERO? Now you guys should just leave me alone, i have had about enough, this is why many believe that the community is fucked!

    • Max 2.0
      January 06, 15:41 Reply

      “Now something happens and everyone wants to come and be a HERO? Now you guys should just leave me alone, i have had about enough, this is why many believe that the community is fucked!”

      You lost me at that part, that paragraph was highly unnecessary and speaks volumes about who you are as a person.

      I’ve been on a #HappyMood for a long time now, so I’m just gonna sheathe my claws and pretend I didn’t see all the loopholes in #YourStory.

      • Mike Daemon
        January 07, 05:39 Reply

        Yes, Max quote me, and quote me very well. Now what can you do for the platform? Bring on your ideas, let’s work together. Thank you.

    • Francis
      January 06, 17:20 Reply

      //Now how many of you have come forward to actually support what i am doing or ask about how you can actually support? I mean, since i started, its been about downloading episodes and making a fuss about trivial observations.//

      Define support abeg oh. Wetin DM, Sensei, PP and the rest just do?

      Believe me you I do understand your frustrations right now. You tried helping but it seems everyone (yours truly included) is attacking you for not doing things right.

      I’ve been there before and what I did (after my vex don ebb) was to take plenty of steps back from the matter to analyze it well and actually see the flaws in my actions which others could see but I couldn’t.

      I suggest you just take this as a learning experience for when other cases present themselves to you in the future. Also you need to get people you can trust so you can run ideas by them before taking action. #TeamWorkThings. One man show things no be am.

      Pẹlẹ

      • Mike Daemon
        January 07, 05:36 Reply

        Francis, wanting to support a boy on the podcast, and suporting the podcast are two different distinctive things. Have you contacted me before since its inception? Francis, what can you do for the platform, bring on your ideas.. Thank you.

        • Francis
          January 07, 07:49 Reply

          I haven’t contacted you before I didn’t want to come off like some “I too sabi” royal bitch who’s out to bring a hustling nigga down!

          Here’s one idea, start transferring all cases that are well beyond your power to the likes of TIERs. That’s why they exist in Nigeria in the first place. Lord knows I’ve used them in the past when helping an individual was behind my lower/reach.

    • Chuck
      January 06, 17:57 Reply

      Your actions did not do this:

      To serve as a voice for the LGBTIQ Community in Nigeria.

      ( Did you let the boy speak to us, reply his attackers?)

      To become Nigeria’s first LGBTIQ medium of enlightenment through voice.

      ( Have you enlightened anyone as to how homosexuality is just as valid as heterosexuality?

      • Mike Daemon
        January 07, 05:23 Reply

        @Chuck, I am alone, bring your ideas on board, together we can do it, and will surely get there. Thank you.

    • Dimkpa
      January 06, 19:05 Reply

      I applaud you for bringing the story to light and for all you have tried to do. As Francis has said it is frustrating when you try to do the right thing and you get criticised for it.

      However I think this should be an opportunity for you to sit back and evaluate your mission for your podcasts. It is the case that sometimes you start something and it becomes bigger than you thought it would. In the film Social Media Mark Zuckerberg said of Facebook at the start that he didn’t know what it would become and time has proved it so. Initially it was meant to be for Ivy League students now over a billion people use it. Oprah Winfrey in one of her masterclass programs talked about when she realised her show was going to be more than just talk shows and getting reactions. It was in a show when white supremacists aired hateful views and some members of her audience applauded it. She said at that time she realised that it wasn’t about just having a show but she had to use the show for good. She said she had to be mindful of what the message she was sending out and you know where that took her. At one point she was the most trusted woman in America.

      In other words I am saying you did well to bring the story to light but it shouldn’t have ended there. There is a young gay boy who is now thoroughly confused and needs help. That help should be rendered and arguments on anonymity and the like should be secondary. I feel that even if you didn’t want to reveal your sexuality, you could have helped those who wanted to do so or refer him to organisations that can. Leaving him in the markets or in a church because he said he wants to doesn’t go far enough. That is why it appears you were only after the story. It seems that if Dennis hadn’t acted then the boy would probably still be in the marketplace.

      At this moment he probably hates himself, thinks being gay is wrong, blames himself for giving in to his desires and may be depressed beyond measure. Nothing has been done to tell him it isn’t so.

      I also don’t see how you can be an effective voice for the community while you’re in the closet. To be a voice you have to stand for what you believe and know to be true and right. You should also, like Jesus advised anyone who sets out to build a house, count the cost and determine if it is one you can bear before setting out. What you have set out to do is laudable but it is also a great task with many challenges especially with the antigay environment.

      I think you should do what Francis suggested when all the emotions surrounding this settle. Take a few steps back, go over the situation again and identify areas for change and improvement while upholding the good. One thing I realised sometime ago is that apart from very exceptional cases, if a lot of people tell me something I did was not up to scratch, no matter how strongly I feel the contrary to be the case, there usually is an element of truth in what they say.

      • Mike Daemon
        January 07, 05:21 Reply

        My dear Keredim, I must not come out, or be gay to serve or contribute to the LGBTIQ Community, and I have continued to say, and will continue to say it here. ‘I will not reveal the personal information of a victim or anyone who come on my podcast to share their story without their consent, by tricking them or using any other tactics’ it will completely be unethical and a breach of trust to do that. Also, I cannot go beyond what I have set out to do, except maybe a new plan is drawn and more people here or from elsewhere comes together and decides to setup something else, meaning, that I cannot do everything alone. I do the best I can do when necessary.

        The young boy is not interested in meeting people, or following me to go see anyone, and I must respect his decision as a free agent that he is. Now, how is that hard and difficult for anyone to understand? and also, I must not come here on KD to announce everything that happens behind the scenes with victims or people who share their experiences on the podcast.

        I do not owe anyone here anything, just as you do not owe me anything, however if anyone feels concerned and wants to offer further assistance, they are free to always reach out to me, however, don’t reach me asking to meet victims, as I will confirm this from the victim, and if the victim or individual is not ready, unfortunately I may not be able to do anything further.

        Thank you all for feeling concerned, and if you feel more concerned, reach me, NoStrings is for the community, nobody is paying me to run it, I can only do my best ALONE, I have always announced it on the podcast that there are limitations to what I can do, so if you feel that there are certain things lacking you can reach me so that we can reason together on how best to approach these things, the email addresses are not there for fancy.

        Yes, I agree and I am not ashamed to agree, I was driving traffic to the website, because part of my mission is to get these stories out there in the mainstream media, its good exposure for the community when that happens. We cannot remain hidden. But it hurts me to know that you guys forget or should I say refuse to see the greater picture of what I am doing, I have said it before and will say it again here ‘NO ONE IS PAYING ME..oooo’

        But that’s ok, I am now apologising to KDians, I know there are expectations, but? I am ALONE.

  18. Khaleesi
    January 06, 15:46 Reply

    Wow!! Thanks DM, you really do have a good heart, you and everyone else who helped this guy out. I hope he moves beyond this and doesnt suffer too much pyschological harm in the long run …

  19. Francis
    January 06, 16:57 Reply

    @Mike Daemon: Quick question abeg. #JustAsking oh. Why you no refer the matter to the likes of TIERs? I thought you had some form of contact with them. Since you’re (understandably) not ready to reveal your sexuality to strangers, you would have gotten someone without qualms to step in.

    Sincerely speaking i can’t really fault those asking to see the victim first. They all seem to have their own reason for requesting such. Personally i have trust issues as all manners of wonders dey happen for this country. Even when I see an ad to gather funds for some sick person, if person wey I trust even small no dey attached to the cause or i no see medical report, I no dey donate shi shi unless I’m in “too-much” money mode.

  20. Stein
    January 06, 17:03 Reply

    Wow, Dennis, you’re awesome. I know I’m not involved whatsoever, but I feel I should personally thank you for doing this for this kid. You’ve got a blessed soul

  21. ikhines
    January 06, 17:37 Reply

    DM the hero as usual. Apparently MD is the villain. Even if this story turned out another way DM will still be the hero. Smh! Poor MD!

  22. keredim
    January 06, 18:37 Reply

    The thing is MD does not see KD as a positive force in the LGBT community in Nigeria. We cat-fight, we bitch, we cuss each other out, we behave like children, we sleep around, we worship porn stars, we do not fit into his ideal of what an LGBT community should be about.

    What is even worse we do not generally respond to the content of his podcast when posted on KD. (He hardly gets any comments except when it is something controversial like the last Kito story or a KDian using the podcast medium to redeem his battered rep). And like he said, no one from KD has offered (financial?) support to the podcast and we are all meant to be fighting the same fight.

    As if that is not enough the few times comments are made, it is all about his accent, not about the message he is trying to send out. (BTW MD I think you should use your “interrogation” accent like you did with Isaac, rather than your “normal” podcast accent. I think your podcasts will be better received both at home and abroad. #Justsaying).

    BUT KD is a necessary evil for MD, because of the KD readership which is (I am told) in its thousands. He has to sleep with the enemy. It is like me and Facebook. We have a hate-hate relationship – They delete my pictures, I abuse Zuckerberg; but I need Facebook to promote my blog.

    However I have not allowed my dislike for Facebook to cloud my judgement when it comes to humanitarian issues. For example sharing a Missing person’s post. Or using Facebook to warn my “friends” and followers about dangerous gay spots, or signing petitions, etc, etc.

    MD should not have allowed his dislike for KD, to stop the donation from getting to Isaac. Especially after Sensei brokered a deal DM was going to give the money by proxy.

    Bottom line MD, even though you managed to get Isaac to a safe place, it could have been easier with money from KD. Activism is not always about being at the forefront and speaking “eloquently”. Most times activists exist quietly behind the battle lines , strategizing and raising funds.

    I am inclined to agree with Sinnex (UP IC!!) ,Kenny and Yoruba Demon (I beg what was your moniker before?). It looked like you were using the story to generate interest in your blog/podcast. I had a look during the whole wahala and you were posting comments on the issue and even comments on the comments on the issue to shock and awe your readership. This quite reminiscent of the tactics used by tabloid journalists to generate sales.

    Anyway sha, Like Francis said, take a step back and reflect. Its not only you one.

    Good luck

  23. kaytee
    January 06, 23:03 Reply

    @macaulay….. so MD is meant to give vital details of a traumatized individual to you (and anyone else) without the person’s consent? ??? what planet are you from?

  24. kaytee
    January 06, 23:10 Reply

    for instance, a banker should reveal the account Balance of a man to his wife because she claims their son is ill???? a breach of trust is a unacceptable by all standards…..nothing justifies it.

  25. kaytee
    January 06, 23:56 Reply

    how come you see your need to meet the boy as more important as his wish to be left alone? moreover, if u wanna help, just help without adding clauses….After all the nigerian LGBT are been helped the many foreigners who have never been to Nigeria.

    • Jeova Sanctus Unus
      January 07, 05:11 Reply

      Honey, all those foreigners have a record of you. It could be a picture, name, phone number, email address, social media profile, etc. You just don’t know. It’s my turf.

      It’s called accountability. It could’ve been done in a different way, like Mike giving a report at the end of the wahala but knowing how he sees his podcast, he may not think he owed anyone explanation.

      Our collected duty is to protect each other. Killing a human being is outlawed but the law makes certain provisions. This kid is already an open secret. One only needs to comb through PH to get more information. In the US, documents of cases involving minors are redacted. You don’t because you’re protecting a victim’s identity not get them the help you know they require. There comes times when our wisdom is tested, this is one.

      I already had issues with the picture you took of the boy and also not getting them to cover him up. Truly, you went there more for the story than for the victim. You left there without getting the best option you could for Abraham.

      You complained about the dearth of NGO’s and funds; let’s assume HRI, TIERS, NHRC or any other organization got involved, would you have pulled the same card? You keep his details from allies and leave him in an open market at the mercy of enemies. Nice call Mikey, nice call.

      Build your bridges, don’t burn them. Quit crying all the time. Your first post here had you cussing out in the comments about how you hate the LGBT community, how we never support, how we are out to kill each other. From the beginning Mike and it’s never stopped coming. Quit crying out every time you’re criticized. We understand situations like Galileo, Newton, and Hollywood but most times the collective is correct. At least somewhat.

      You can only do the right things when you do them for the right reasons.

      Thanks.

      • Mike Daemon
        January 07, 05:28 Reply

        @jeova, its not about how I see my podcast, but about how members of the community see it, can you help me here?

  26. tarter
    January 08, 02:56 Reply

    and suddenly the guy who was trying to help is now the bad guy? the major issue here is consent and privacy, the victim said he doesn’t want to meet y’all or collect ur donation, let him be. if MD accepted d cash without u guys seeing d victim na another story we go hear.

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