SCORES TO SETTLE

SCORES TO SETTLE

My personality is not of one that seeks attention, but I am responsive when people turn their attention on me. As long as it’s not intrusive though. Jerry Oritsegbubemi (real name) wasn’t subtle with the way he sought my attention. He intruded. And even though I found this upsetting at first, I eventually warmed up to me. Which was certainly one of the biggest mistakes I ever made in my life.

I generally love tall, athletic, good-looking guys. Throw in a shiny black skin, and you have my mumu button. Jerry was tall, athletic and too handsome. He was also light-skinned. He didn’t check all the boxes, but he was enough to get my attention.

Let’s start from the beginning.

2018 was my final year in the university. It was also the year I started exploring my sexuality. I always knew I liked boys more than I do girls. But last year, I began to explore, starting with Planet Romeo and Surge, and eventually settling on Grindr. I met a few guys and had a few hookups. At this stage in my life, because I was exploring who I am, I was not really into anything that had to do with love, romance and relationships. The hookups I got into, mostly from Grindr and Facebook, were all chop-and-clean-mouth. No strings attached. Some of these guys wanted more after the sex though. A relationship, something more lasting, and I would always tell them no. The reactions to my rejection weren’t always nice or cordial.

It is not that I don’t believe in love or want to love. It’s just that the kind of temperament I have would not permit the thriving of a relationship. I am very laidback, mostly uninterested, and sometimes moody with no reason. Therefore, it didn’t seem ideal to me to lead anyone on into something serious I knew I would eventually sabotage without meaning to.

That afternoon, I was eating alone (I am almost always alone, as I consider myself the lord of solitude) when a very beautiful boy slid into the bench opposite mine with a bottle of Coke in his hand. He was smiling.

“Hey. I am Jerry, 300 level Electrical Engineering,” he said, as though that would solve the puzzle of him invading my personal space.

“Okay,” I simply said as I continued eating.

“I know you probably want to eat me up for invading your space,” he said, still smiling.

I eyed him, noting how I would sure love to eat him up, but in my bed.

“Okay,” I said again. “How may I help you, Jerry?”

He laughed. “Are you always this formal? Well, I have been noticing you around campus, and I think I like you. Your personality, I mean.” He added this last part hurriedly.

But I knew instantly what he meant. My personality, my ass. Dude was hitting on me. His flirtatiousness had my gaydar buzzing. But I wasn’t impressed by his tactic. I don’t trust people who “notice” me from afar; letting me know that makes me feel like I’m being hunted or something.

“Okay, noted,” I said. I was looking at him, my head cocked, as though to tell him: You can leave me alone now.

“So, it’s true,” he said, still smiling.

“So, what’s true?” I wanted to know.

“You are very proud and a snob,” he said.

I sat back in my chair and stared at this stranger in both bafflement and annoyance. Who the hell did he think he was?

“What rubbish is that, and who’s been telling you that?” I seethed, now really wanting to eat him, flesh and blood.

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is you should change your ways and be friendlier.”

The guy was preaching to me!

With a glare, I leaned toward him and said, “I don’t owe you or anyone my friendliness. I was here, minding my business and eating my food, when you came to ruin my appetite. Well, I may not be hungry anymore, but I sure feel like drinking a Coke.” With that, I snatched his bottle of Coke and took a gulp. I honestly didn’t know where I got the guts to be that brassy, and from the stony look he gave me, I thought he was going to hit me.

He didn’t. instead, he stared at me some more, took his bottle back from me, and without another word, slipped out of the bench and walked away.

I thought that would be the end of Jerry, but boy, was I wrong.

We kept on bumping into each other all over school: at the library, the laboratories, the hostels, at canteens. Even church. It was as though now that I’d encountered him once, I had to notice him everywhere.

And he was always very cordial toward me. Nice even. I soon began to warm up to him, and when he asked me to be his boyfriend, no one was more surprised than I was when I said yes. Now, when I think back on it, I realize the real reason I agreed to date him was not because I wanted to love him. It was because I felt guilty for drinking his Coke. Ridiculous, I know.

In the beginning, Jerry was a perfect guy. He went out of his way to do things for me. The sex was good. I could not believe myself when I finally began to confront the realization that I was falling in love with this guy.

Things however began to change when he began to charm other guys and girls. I could handle the girls that excessively fawned over him; that was what society expected from guys. But the boys – no way! When I noticed his shameless flirting with some guy, I confronted him and he gave me a halfhearted apology, saying he only did it for fun. That he didn’t intend anything to come out of it. I believed him. Of course, I did; I loved him.

Then my birthday came around and my boyfriend ghosted me the entire day. I was up very early in the morning of that day, believing he would be among the first people to wish me a happy birthday. But Jerry neither called nor texted. Not a peep from him the entire day. That was crushing. The way my mood stayed sour that day was a new thing to me; I even snapped at my mother when she called to wish me a happy birthday. I felt betrayed. I swore I would not call or see him again, and that I would ice him out should I ever lay my eyes on him.

But I was in love. I hated being in love but I couldn’t help it. By 9 PM, I stomped over to his house off-campus, looking like I felt: infuriated. When I knocked on his door, it took about twenty minutes for him to open the door. My fury knew no bounds.

“What the hell!” I yelled at him. He was standing by the doorway, obviously not wanting me to go in.

“What is it again this time?” he said in this world-weary tone that stung, that made me feel like I’d always been a nag with him.

“Are you kidding me?” I growled. “My birthday doesn’t mean a thing to you, abi?”

It was obvious from the way comprehension dawned on him that he hadn’t even remembered. But that wasn’t even what hurt. What began to splinter my insides was the absolute lack of remorse he replaced the surprise with when he said, “So? Na you be the first girl to do birthday?”

So, on top of everything else, he just called me a girl?! I thought I’d gotten to my breaking point, that surely, I could now lash out with my fist or something –

When a really, really good-looking guy emerged behind Jerry.

“What is going on here, Jerry?” this newcomer said as he looked from Jerry to me.

I felt the ground upon which I was standing shift. Suddenly, it became clear to me why Jerry hadn’t even bothered to let me into his house. He’d apparently been with someone else. And someone far hotter!

When he looked at me and saw what I was thinking revealing itself on my face, he said, “Prince, it’s not what you think.” He reached out a hand to me, but I recoiled from him. “Tega is my friend. My very good friend. He was teaching me EEE311.”

I wanted to believe him. I really wanted to swallow that lie hook, line and sinker. But on the heels of him totally forgetting my birthday, this was just too much.

“Don’t even bother,” I said stonily. “I am not going to buy any more of your lies, Jerry.”

I went back to my hostel and started thanking the Orishas that I had not succumbed to his persuasion about me moving in with him. I did not move in with him, not because I did not want to, but because my older sister, who graduated from the same school, had spies watching me. Thank God for the spies.

Honestly, I tried hard to get over Jerry. But I couldn’t. Every time I watched porn and wanked, I was reminded how much I needed him touching me, sexing me. Grindr was no help at all. Lots of fake people with insincere intentions. Besides, having finally dated someone, I now wanted something real. I wasn’t into the meet ‘n’ shag business anymore.

Call me crazy, call me an emotional fuckup, but yes, I did take Jerry back when he came with a bottle of Coke for me, and apologized. The bottle of Coke had unofficially become our symbol of love. When I saw the Coke, I smiled. He confessed that he had fucked with Tega that night I found him in his room, and because, underneath the anger I felt that night, I’d actually found Tega attractive, I forgave him.

Not long after, Jerry started persuading me again to move in with him. Again, I said no. I honestly wanted to. It was simply ideal, for me to live in the privacy of an off-campus accommodation with the man I loved. It was appealing. But I couldn’t. My sister’s spies were everywhere. One misstep and she would come down on me with evidence to back up her suspicions of my sexuality.

“Why don’t you want to move in with me?” Jerry complained.

“To avoid too much familiarity which in turn brings about contempt,” I remember replying.

Christmas came and instead of traveling home to Lagos to spend the holiday with my family, I decided to stay behind in school. Because of Jerry. The school hostel was locked down and so I had to stay with him for the holiday.

This is when this story becomes a kito story.

For on Christmas day, a number of guys came around to Jerry’s house. I recognized at least three of them as guys I knew from Grindr. Tega was present too. Something about the way they trooped into the house set off alarm signals inside me.

When I took Jerry aside and asked him what was going on, he grabbed my wrist, tightly, and pulled me to the sitting room where the guys were.

“Prince, let me introduce you to my friends,” he said with a sneer. “And apparently, the guys you think you are better than.”

I was shell-shocked. The guy I’d fallen in love with was no longer in the room; in his place was this sneering, malicious human being, who shoved me to the centre of the room, where they all began to form a circle around me. Six guys in all.

My mind was a flurry of panicked thoughts. What were they going to do to me? Did I offend anyone of them? Why was Jerry not protecting me from this? What was going on?

One of the guys, Chidi, who I hooked up with from Grindr, spoke up, “I loved you, Prince. But you kept on treating me like I wasn’t worth your time. We fucked and you tossed me aside like I was dirt. Shebi you’re the one now dying for love, eh?”

I couldn’t believe this. So, saying no was now a crime? This had to be a joke. I looked at Jerry, expecting him to smile and confirm that this was indeed a joke. But the expression on his face was enough to tell me that the guy who charmed me into saying yes to him was long gone. He looked as mean and as nasty as these other guys.

Then Wale spoke up, nastily, “Seeing you makes my blood boil. If you knew you did not want a relationship, you should not have bothered coming to see me at all.”

This was unbelievable. How did wanting to shag a guy automatically make me willing to be in a relationship? I stared at these guys in incredulity, at this point wondering how they all seemed to know one another.

Jerry soon answered that.

“See all these guys?” he said. “They are all my friends. We got to know each other on Facebook, and incidentally, they’d all had experiences that made them reach the opinion that TB guys in this school are all proud and full of themselves. You were number one on that list. And so, we came together and decided to take you down. Tega was actually supposed to be the one to approach you, but I wanted to do it myself. I wanted to be the one to make you suffer. And I have enjoyed every bit of it.”

He stared at me with a nasty look that made me wonder how I ever came to fall in love with him. I couldn’t believe that every time I’d kissed this guy, touched him, felt his touch, felt him inside me – I had been a mission to him. All the while I was loving him, he had harboured nothing but a vengeful venom for me. I shuddered, wondering how I hadn’t been able to pick up on such malevolence, however well hidden, when I was with him.

“Now you know how it feels to have feelings for someone who treats you like dirt,” he continued, “because that’s what you are best at doing. You are bad in everything else: character, sex, romance, just name it. You even had the audacity to drink my Coke!”

I wanted to cry, but I stifled the urge, determined not to let them see that amount of weakness.

“We intended to beat you when we had the opportunity,” Jerry said. “But we won’t. Just leave this house with only what you are putting on. Don’t bother taking your phone or laptop or clothes or shoes. Just leave like this. And if we hear about you anywhere again, you will receive the beating of your life.”

As I fled from his house, I struggled with bitterness and misery. I was devastated. Suddenly, it became clear to me why Jerry had badly wanted me to move in with him. Their mission wasn’t supposed to last the six months me and him ended up dating. It was supposed to end the day I’d move into his house and encounter what I encountered that day.

These guys had been targeting me for six months!

Someone had acted like he loved me when he hated me for six months!

Until I was on my way to Lagos the next day, I was still struggling to digest all this. When I got home, I lied to my family that the bus I traveled with was robbed, to explain the loss of my things.

That incident scarred me. Up until I left the school, I never again used Grindr. I deactivated my Facebook account and kept even more to myself. I began to introspect a lot about my social life. Was I really that bad? Was it a bad thing to say no? How could I be guilty of hurting someone when we enter a hookup with different expectations? I thought about Chidi and Wale and thought: Surely, I am a beast for the way I must’ve hurt them.

These days however, I am stronger and I believe that the words or thoughts of people do not define me. I have a lot of respect for myself and will never stoop so low as to date someone simply because they expect me to.

When I got back on Facebook and had learned of Kito Diaries and its efforts to alert community members to the malignant behaviour of evildoers, I searched on Facebook for the guys who kitoed me. Even Jerry Oritsegbubemi. But I couldn’t find them. Perhaps they’d blocked me, perhaps they’d changed their names.

Just before I left school for good, I ran into Tega and he apologised to me for what they did to me.

“Look, I’m sorry about the whole shit that went down,” he said to me. “Jerry is my best friend and we weren’t really fucking. It was all part of the game. I think I understand the kind of person you are because my ex was like that too. Good luck with the future.”

I didn’t even bother saying anything in response to that. I just wished I’d never met any of them.

Even though I eventually got to learn from someone else that Jerry Oritsegbubemi didn’t even graduate from school, that he was expelled, I took no joy from that. I am part being angry at him and the others. I am just focused on ensuring that the walls he knocked down when he made me feel the things I wasn’t used to feeling are staying up. Tried love once and it burned me in a way I never saw coming.

Written by Prince Ame

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47 Comments

  1. BRYAN PETERS
    October 26, 07:33 Reply

    Wow. Just wow. This legit gave me chills and goosebumps. They could have actually harmned you!!! Like physically.
    I had to scroll up twice to be certain that this actually happened.
    This is just terrible. Na wa o. Kito be taking on new forms and faces. I’m just in utter disbelief.
    Sorry you had to go through this though.

  2. Mandy
    October 26, 07:58 Reply

    Jeezuzkraist! Like, WTF!!! I had to keep checking and rechecking the category to be sure I wasn’t reading fiction, because this kind of dedication to be evil is some other level shit. What sort of fucking entitlement is this! So this heterosexual nonsense has been carried over into the gay community where someone is just supposed to say yes to dating simply because the chyker likes him and wants him? Saying no is now a reason to victimize someone?

    Imagine the hubris.

    My God. Nothing we won’t see in this world sha.

    People dey o. Me that can’t even stand being around people I dislike, it is now to date one and make love to him for six months just to get revenge. That Jerry can kill.

  3. Colossus
    October 26, 08:06 Reply

    What da actual fuck?

    For six months? How do you carry on a revenge plot for six months? What is even there to revenge? Dude did nothing wrong. To even feel so entitled to your own personal space and term it as pride is what shocks me.
    Kai!!!!

    • BlackPope
      October 26, 08:23 Reply

      While sharing my Kito story with an activist group here in Warri, someone shared his own kito story, that got me to know that, some of these folks could even plan a Kito mission for more than two years… Someone just needs to be extra careful, cautious and sensitive these days…

    • Mike
      October 26, 17:17 Reply

      Entiled to your personal space yes, but our actions affects others, for example from the write-up, the way the writer snap, retorts back, definitely hurts like imagine a you were the guy he just fucked with and you wanted something more, than he gave that rude, disregarding , belittling retort back, mehn it’s gonna hurt. Me I was always polite to people anyway, it’s my calm disinterested independent energy that scares the fuck out of people, some will even think as an introvert you have spiritual problem.

  4. BlackPope
    October 26, 08:17 Reply

    You see why I’ll never search on the app Grindr let alone downloading it?

    Thankfully, they didn’t hurt you…

    Kito strategists really taking a new dimension oh
    On my own part, was just because I said, I had a date and could never double date…

    May God help us from this menace… (New Lessons Learnt though, thanks for sharing and thanks to Kito diaries)

    • Tristan
      October 26, 08:24 Reply

      He didn’t meet Jerry on Grindr

  5. Tristan
    October 26, 08:22 Reply

    This is a single story. It’d be more rational to hear from Jerry and his cohorts.

    • Kenny
      October 26, 08:56 Reply

      Really? Because whatever Jerry and his cohorts have to say might justify what they did?

      • Mike
        October 26, 17:25 Reply

        Think big picture, cause now he’ll be much nicer to people and learn that he’s not the only one on the planet, and take others feelings into consideration. Probably the universes way of teaching a lesson in a neutral space. Life schools us all. Normally for him to change would take a lot of psychology and therapy, EQ emotional intelligence, is not easy to learn, but now he gets to feel it first hand.

        Big picture, neutral safe space.

      • Kelvin
        October 27, 02:15 Reply

        @Pinky please don’t get me wrong, like i earlier said,” judging by his story” the writer never wrote anything about having a bad day or perhaps being down at the point Jerry approached him. WTF is wrong with being polite with people?? Courtesy demand so irrespective of knowing the person or not. We are humans and are expected to commune nicely. Perhaps let’s say he had a bad day, and his response didn’t come as nice as it should, what’s stopping him to apologise immediately he saw the look on Jerry’s face.

    • Higwe
      October 26, 09:04 Reply

      Exactly my thought too .

      I mean this is reality and everything is plausible ….but then something about the transition of the whole story doesn’t just add up to me.

      • Kelvin
        October 26, 14:13 Reply

        Prince I don’t know how all this adds up but I would like to say that you are proud and so full of yourself. Yes I said that, judging by your story. I have a friend like you, you mamay think there is nothing wrong with your attitude or response at the first meeting between you and Jerry, and c’mon I mean you must have shown those traits if not Jerry and his friends won’t tell you to your face, I know you refused their request for relationship, but the thing is how polite were you, and in what manner did you present yourself while turning them down.

        If you had shown a more decent polite and friendly look when Jerry met you, he wouldn’t have carried out all his plans he had with his friend. He would have given that a second thought. You were a ticking time bomb, and you just blew all the assertion that you are rude to his face. And before all you KDians come at me take close thought on this conversation
        👇👇
        That afternoon, I was eating alone (I am almost always alone, as I consider myself the lord of solitude) when a very beautiful boy slid into the bench opposite mine with a bottle of Coke in his hand. He was smiling.

        “Hey. I am Jerry, 300 level Electrical Engineering,” he said, as though that would solve the puzzle of him invading my personal space.

        “Okay,” I simply said as I continued eating.

        “I know you probably want to eat me up for invading your space,” he said, still smiling.

        I eyed him, noting how I would sure love to eat him up, but in my bed.

        “Okay,” I said again. “How may I help you, Jerry?”

        He laughed. “Are you always this formal? Well, I have been noticing you around campus, and I think I like you. Your personality, I mean.” He added this last part hurriedly.

        But I knew instantly what he meant. My personality, my ass. Dude was hitting on me. His flirtatiousness had my gaydar buzzing. But I wasn’t impressed by his tactic. I don’t trust people who “notice” me from afar; letting me know that makes me feel like I’m being hunted or something.

        “Okay, noted,” I said. I was looking at him, my head cocked, as though to tell him: You can leave me alone now.

        “So, it’s true,” he said, still smiling.

        “So, what’s true?” I wanted to know.

        “You are very proud and a snob,” he said.

        I sat back in my chair and stared at this stranger in both bafflement and annoyance. Who the hell did he think he was?

        “What rubbish is that, and who’s been telling you that?” I seethed, now really wanting to eat him, flesh and blood.

        “It doesn’t matter. What matters is you should change your ways and be friendlier.”

        The guy was preaching to me!

        Like I said if you had been more friendly he would have gotten a second thought. You attitude explains his theory.
        What they did to you thereafter was wrong and I don’t agree to that. But all I can say is you should be more open and put on a smile when ever a stranger comes to talk to you.

        • Mike
          October 26, 17:27 Reply

          Kool down daddy, we’re not taking him apart today.

        • Pink Panther
          October 26, 17:30 Reply

          Nobody owes a stranger a smile. Please, just don’t mount your podium to preach that. Nobody owes anyone invading his personal space openness or a smile. It is not an obligation. If I’m having a bad day, or I’m battling depression, or I simply do not feel like smiling, I shouldn’t have to smile simply because a stranger walked up to me and said hello. I don’t have to be rude in my response, but I sure do NOT owe him a smile. You people should stop placing your expectations on other people. That’s not the way life works.

          • Jinchuriki
            October 28, 11:06 Reply

            EXACTLY!
            LOOK AT THEM JUSTIFYING WHAT JERRY DID BECAUSE HE WOULDN’T LET SOMEONE IN HIS PERSONAL SPACE. SO ANNOYING.

        • slender
          October 27, 17:39 Reply

          @Kelvin, your comment is bullshit

  6. trystham
    October 26, 09:03 Reply

    The shitty sense of entitlement!!! Even I that use to attach myself to my fuckbuddies will not dream to assume they think we are in a relationship.
    I don’t even know why you are trying to protect them. These ones will graduate into full-fledged thieves if things don’t work out for them. Expose their arses abeg

    • Mike
      October 26, 17:52 Reply

      Biko shut up. Courtesy and manners saves. Even before a armed robber, who you are, the way you live and treat people can be what saves you.

      I was once accused of stealing my best friends phone, by his mom apparently she wanted me to stop coming to their house, opportunity came she took it, case got to police station and before my dad could hear of it and leave work, two police officers were already defending me, why ?, I know this boy he use to pass my house, goes on his own doesn’t talk to anybody. I don’t know those people till date but they knew me, I was not locked in the cell that night, like the other suspects who walked into the room where the phone was plugged, I slept in my bed, came back the next day with my dad, who then brought my fone that he seized initially, my phone was even bigger than my friends phone. That’s how that case ended.

      You might not know this but people watch you, there are people who know you even better than you know yourself.

      I for one wouldn’t pray to meet his type of person, who turn love Into a crime. Baba na like I like you, no be sin I commit.

      I met one nigga like that straight, him turning me down was not it, infact after he turned me down, we stayed in touch, friends. It was his negative energy, that lashing viper, that need to punish someone over what is going on inside you, the projection the pain inside.

      Okay nigga I use to be like you, now I’m comical and nice, always flirting, let me help you navigate that still water. No, in his words he hates asking for help. Once in a while when his really down, I get a msg from him asking how I handled this, how I did that, how are you so confident etc. Then I tell him the truth, dissect the situation. I ditched him cause, he started to use it as a weapon against me, and it was gradually getting to me, cause he was stirring up my own negative energy, and I worked so hard to calm that shit down. So I shut him down psychologically and walked out of his life, he thought I couldn’t, cause I was interested in him, but I did.

      The writers method of execution was just not it.
      For morality sack I am not branding Jerry a hero, his manipulation skills is top notch, like wtf.

      In all I think it was for the writers own good, cause that attitude, that negative vibe is like a knife, good for seeming armed and strong, but eventually you’ll cut yourself.

  7. Higwe
    October 26, 10:12 Reply

    Okay .

    Let’s get this straight .

    You went from total isolophilia with a bit of bipolar disorder to a love struck puppy 😎 at a lightening speed …granted , you might have projected these tacharistics 😁 on yourself because you wanted to mask what you presumed was your weakness ?…makes sense .

    Totally relatable .

    *******

    Let’s talk about Jerry Oritsegbubemi and his ” vengeance ” though .

    From your narration this dude had it out for you for a very long time , but the first thing he did the day you two had your first interaction was offering you a word of advice to better your relationship with people.

    I don’t really know much about vengeance but wouldn’t a vindictive person want you exactly the way you are to enable them execute their plot untrammelled ?

    Secondly …this dude jumped into your bed the first chance he got .
    Knowing you have a history of ” chopping and cleaning mouth ” what guarantee did he have that you wouldn’t have done the same to him the moment you tasted the cookie jar ?

    Shouldn’t a person questing for vengeance deprive you of the one thing that kept your interest- sex .
    Till he’s certain he has you completely ensnared ?

    Third – the blockbuster announcement ….he prepped you for six months to drop the blockbuster on you .That he was in cahoot with some of your ex flings .

    But then he gave you numerous opportunity to fall out of love with him .
    Excessive flirting *
    Lollygagging *
    Implied cheating *

    Granted , these might all be his ploy to emotionally abuse you , but knowing your previous personality before you gave him a chance , why would anyone want to bait you with all these ?

    You might have walked away and all his plans would have come to naught …

    I don’t really know but all these looks like a love story turned sour than a well planned out vengeance.

    Either Mr Jerry Oritsegbubemi totally sucks at vengeance or this is a highly distorted account of what really transpired.

    All in all I’m sorry for what happened to you ( theifing and thuggery should never be justified) I do hope you finally find peace and of course give love another chance when you’re ready of course .

    In this day and age I don’t think being expelled from school is really a big deal .
    I have ex classmates that didn’t even go to any university , some of them are way richer than I am .
    One even opened a hotel in Asaba the other day.

    So if the story is as you told … Mr
    Jerry Oritsegbubemi is still going to get what’s coming for him.
    A fitting punishment for a fitting crime. 😎

    • Tristan
      October 26, 11:03 Reply

      Chai. Higwe, your comment is just so on point. You just used the right words.

    • trystham
      October 26, 12:13 Reply

      So, u take advice from total random strangers???? Your life must be a messy confusion if just 5 people greet u everyday.

      • Prince Ame
        October 26, 12:55 Reply

        Confusion, yes. I had a tough childhood; my older brothers and sister, all four of them, made my life miserable; I was constantly harassed because of my extremely quiet nature, my girly attitude and my huge head.
        I believe this shaped me into an outwardly stern person? I have had a handful of people tell me that while we were not yet acquaintances, they feared to approach me. I guess I just had to toughen up and be manly like the society wanted and ultimately made a poor job of it.
        Even my family members have at one pint in my life accused me of being sadistic and demonic. Honestly, I don’t act this way deliberately and I don’t know how to stop. I don’t have the resources to hire a psychologist. Been thinking maybe relationships are not meant for everyone; maybe not for me.

        • Pink Panther
          October 26, 17:33 Reply

          Dear Prince Ame, please don’t feel like you have to apologize to anyone for your personality. As long as you’re not harming anyone, you don’t owe it to anyone to be more agreeable to or approachable with people you don’t normally associate with.

        • Ub
          October 28, 18:57 Reply

          Hi dear, would you mind we get to know each other. Would love it if you can spare me some time. Thanks

    • Prince Ame
      October 26, 12:43 Reply

      Honestly, reading through this again just made me realize maybe, I am stupid?
      Sometimes too, I don’t usually understand why I do certain things; even after Jerry, which was last year, I got involved with three other guys… My quest for love, maybe, which hasn’t panned out fine anyway.
      I don’t think I was actually in love with Jerry; I probably loved his looks and sexiness.
      Just two weeks ago, i broke up with a guy I I met from Grindr whom I’d been avoiding and had told I wasn’t interested in a relationship; he managed to manipulate my feelings (I play tough but inwardly, I’m very sensitive); he had told me he would be hurt if I denied him; i would never find someone as good as he; I had to try to love blah blah.
      I guess I still want(ed) to know if I could really really love.
      When I broke up with this recent guy, He kept on telling me how his tears would haunt me.
      I agree I’m stupid, that is why I haven’t downloaded Grindr again or chatted with any guy. I can’t keep turning out to be the bad guy when all I was ever after is a quest for love (sounds silly I know).
      Maybe all this is a drawback as regards exploring one’s sexuality late. I really don’t know anymore. I’ll be fine on my own.

    • Mike
      October 26, 18:01 Reply

      The plan wasn’t supposed to last 6 months. So the cheating showed he was never originally interested. The plan was not for the writer to walk away, it was supposed to be something ceremonial and painful, before the board members. Jerry offering an advice shows his actually a good guy, probably was having second thoughts. Think about the accusation was effective to get the writer to be curious and talk more, accusations have a way of making people lose balance, which is what the writer did, by drinking his coke, something he will never do normally.

      And besides all Jerry did was get the writer to confront his feelings, he had those feelings all along, Jerry just helped the nigga see them.

      I think Jerry should be given an award.

      • Kaaku, Lu
        November 07, 18:01 Reply

        That wasn’t all Jerry did.

        Jerry led him on for six months and eventually made him flee from his house without his phone(s), laptop and shoes.

        I’m still in shock that this is the same Jerry you’re decorating with awards.

  8. Net
    October 26, 10:26 Reply

    Wow what did I just read

  9. Phyneasphuck
    October 26, 10:32 Reply

    I don’t know what to say, but humans are desperately wicked and vile, and to have people be this dedicated on a revenge mission that doesn’t really warrant such, except there’s something missing in the story, i honestly don’t get it.

  10. Mike
    October 26, 17:10 Reply

    *friction friction friction* I choose to believe this is friction, cause wtf!.

    think I use to have that personality, too don’t associate with people in department, neighbors etc, it’s just introverted-ness.
    After graduating I got to find out a bicurious nigga, I had a mad crush on, actually liked me, but because of my personality, he decided to prove a point, by turning me down. That point being he was better than me, cause I liked him, and he turned me down, most people who wanted too associate with me, can’t reach me, cause I was out of reach, I had all that serious,intense and strong vibe, to them I was forming, now I liked him, he’s wanted to prove a point and he told me point blank,” you will never fuck me”. Apparently they’re a circle of friends, mostly straight, who don’t care about each other’s sexuality or something. So they knew he was bi-curious and they knew I gay,cause he told them and shared our chat.
    One of them who I’m close with disclose this ” the reason you didn’t get Peter, is not because he did like you or you don’t have a nice body, we all gym because of you, but it’s because of your personality, your were too proud and uptight. So he wanted to prove a point to you”

    Mehn I use to see that Bros inside dream ooh.

    Dunno, before getting in bed with people, trying finding out what they want, its what I do, I don’t ask directly, I read. When I know the possibility of something serious is zero and I genuinely like you. Then it’s not going to happen. But if I don’t like you and you want nothing more, then Kool let’s fuck, hardly duo.
    Remember telling someone not so long ago, I can’t date you right now, cause I have a lot of shit going on, let’s just fuck. It was easier than saying “I don’t like you, you’re not my type, I was just horny and my type is hard to find” still regretting that fuck till now, cause, I let his call go into voicemail or something and e dey pain me, cause I’m not that type of person.

    * Still friction I believe, if not what the fuck*

    We all grow and learn e no easy.

      • Mike
        October 26, 18:04 Reply

        Yeah sorry, let’s blame auto correct. And you refused to give is an edit button here. So we should hang you too *joke*

    • Prince Ame
      October 26, 17:36 Reply

      Do you mean fiction? Why would I want to wish myself such? If I wanted to write a fiction, which I don’t have time for apparently, I would clearly state so and have it in the fiction section.
      I don’t think there’s a particular rule or process that such experiences should follow. I’m not being defensive; I have owned up to my flaws cos I ain’t perfect.
      Like I said earlier, I’ll stay on my own to avoid such recurrences.

      • Mike
        October 26, 18:10 Reply

        I was joking nao, I meant it’s unbelievable, like why would I waste six months of my life to punish somebody, not that you’re not worth it in the hot department. You must be really hot cause I’m pretty sure, that’s the only anchor Jerry held on too, it’s insane.

        Besides I’m choosing fiction as my own reality cause, mehn I refuse to believe anyone went through what you went through.
        Like WTF.

      • Itz
        October 27, 01:42 Reply

        Prince are u my twin because this how my personality is, even though I haven’t had ur kind of experience but people have told me and I have realised it too, just that I don’t have elder siblings like u so I got my bullying from outsiders.
        And secondly I start exploring my sexuality from 6 years old. But I don’t think Jerry can be justified, Cuz u can’t tell me he can do the same to a straight guy and get away with it or in a gay friendly country.if a straight guy has been that proud as they claim the could not have put up such thing it just that the capitalised on ur sexuality ,cuz they know that u won’t report them to the authority.

  11. Higwe
    October 26, 19:08 Reply

    Welp !
    That escalated quickly 😁

    See bombs flying upandan .

    *Takes shield * 🏃🏾‍♀️🤸

  12. Audrey
    October 27, 00:10 Reply

    I’m so sorry that you had to go through such experience but I guess it shaped you into being a nicer person and for those that think that six months is too much a time to put in on a revenge mission then I’d tell you that I’ve actually dedicated almost two years of my life just to get back at someone who I think wanted to pull an ‘Nnamdi’ on me and YES it felt good to see him suffer and still suffering but one sure thing I’ve promised myself is never to let any sinner go unpunished even if at the end it cost me my happiness I’d give anything to see a USER feel double the pain he’d ever made me feel.

    • Itz
      October 27, 01:43 Reply

      U re evil himself

  13. Doulton
    October 27, 07:55 Reply

    Wow. It’s interesting to see some morons, yes, I said morons try to pin this on you.
    Being whatever you are doesn’t justify being assaulted by these guys.
    I hope all the polite and nice and respectful guys are making money from these qualities.
    If it’s a hook up and you like me, well, sorry about that. I will be very clear and if it needs to be said in a rude way, I will. That’s how y’all get yourselves into complicated situations cos you’re too nice and polite. A guy that can do this to someone simply because the person they’re interested in rejected them,i wonder what he’d do when they get together and he starts feeling some type of way when you spend time with other guys who are just your friends or when you guys break and it was you who wanted the break up.
    Prince, ignore the morons and be you please, I’m sure you aren’t like that to everyone.
    You’re allowed to protect your space.
    Life truly is simple, if someone isn’t vibing with you, you can walk away.

    And then, someone said before you get into bed with someone be clear on what they want. I’d rather not waste time that unintelligent comment.

  14. Doulton
    October 27, 08:05 Reply

    And to the proponents of “Life teaching you lessons”, I pray life never stops teaching you lessons.

    And finally, if you’re trying to talk to me or start a conversation, my response would indicate whether or not I want to have that conversation.
    I don’t have to flow with you in a bid to be polite and nice.
    But some people would never get the msg.
    A regular person would have gotten that msg, it was Jerry’s agenda that made him continue.

  15. Black Dynasty
    October 27, 10:08 Reply

    I’d like to believe there’s 3 sides to every story, yours, theirs and the truth, but nothing justifies them taking your stuff. Thankfully you weren’t assaulted.

    I understand everyone has a different personality and you don’t owe anyone a smile, your time or your space…. but a little kindness in how you treat people can go a long way especially during rejections. Admittedly some people don’t understand polite rejections and require a firmer response.

    I don’t think you should have been treated that way, @ being lied to and deceived but it would be interesting to hear the other side of the story.

  16. 3stan
    October 27, 12:09 Reply

    What nonsense! Seeing things from your point of view, Your fucking guys and moving on isn’t grounds for whatever happened. You owe no one nothing. You don’t have to be friendly, you don’t have to be nice, you don’t have to date them. If they can’t take it, that’s on them not you. Their nasty sense of entitlement shouldn’t be foisted on you. I’m sorry you had to go through what you did, no one deserves that. This experience shouldn’t be a reason to be nice to anyone or accept what you don’t like.

  17. PennyWise
    October 31, 11:59 Reply

    I don’t know why most people don’t understand what a hookup is, just one sex and they’re wanting more .
    I just can’t deal.

    My dear I completely understand your odil , with those boys but not the kito part.
    God has been greatful I haven’t and don’t intend to get kitoed …

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