SNAPSHOTS: Rejected

SNAPSHOTS: Rejected

Richard didn’t believe that love could be quiet.

In the past, when he had loved, it had involved sweaty palms and armpits with the beating of his heart like a tom-tom. It involved a passionate chase for the female of his interest, and if the affection was reciprocated, a fiery love that consumed him and made him crazy. Emotions were felt so deeply he thought they would consume him and leave him to burn. And when the relationships ended, he didn’t burn, but spent days to weeks feeling like he was trapped under water with faulty gills that were just enough to allow him survive, just enough to make his survival seem like torture.

But then, he’d bounce back. He always did. Even after Precious, when he thought for sure that he was going to die and it would be by his own hands, he still bounced back. Suddenly the invisible hand around his throat would release him and the world would seem a bit brighter.

People told him he needed to slow down. Girls didn’t like the kind of passion he exuded. That was why they kept leaving him. He loved them so much it left them feeling flustered, bored, feeling like they couldn’t measure up. That was what he was told anyway. It confused him how a person could love like it was a past time hobby.

No. He didn’t believe love could be quiet. But it did come quietly, and he found it where he wasn’t looking. He found it in the last place he thought he would.

They were seated, watching a movie together, him and his best friend, Tope. A scene made him jump and he clutched his best friend’s hand. It wasn’t the first time he’d held Tope’s hand, but this time, it felt different. This time he realised how coarse those hands felt. This time, he didn’t let go.

They didn’t talk about it, Tope and him. Nothing seemed to have changed between them. Still it felt like the universe was holding its breath.

They were on Richard’s tiny hostel bed. Tope was resting on Richard’s leg since the only other pillow was behind Richard to support his back on the rough Wall. Tope had just made a joke and Richard was laughing harder than normal. Maybe he laughed so hard because he suddenly knew what he was feeling when he was with Tope, and it felt like a practical joke. He looked down at the face looking up at him. Then bent to kiss him on the mouth

Tope froze when their lips touched and remained frozen after Richard’s mouth left his. Then a couple of minutes later, Tope stood up and left the room. Tope went on to ignore his calls and texts for a week before he finally answered.

“Tope…”

“Richard, what was that for?” he queried as though he was confronting him over something that had only just happened.

“I don’t –”

“I am not into that homo shit!” Tope said with an edge to his voice.

Richard clutched his phone tighter. “Me neither,” he said, feeling like he was trying to stop the world from crumbling.

“Then why did you…” Tope’s voice trailed off.

“I don’t know…” Richard said.

There was silence.

“Please, don’t let it happen again.” The edge in Tope’s voice had gone.

Richard agreed. It wouldn’t happen again. He wasn’t exactly sure why or when he’d begun truly loving his best friend, but he knew he did and he’d prefer to have him in his life any which way than not at all.

So his love for him had to be quiet. There was no passionate chase or sweaty palms. But it didn’t stop it from hurting. They never spoke of the kiss again. But whatever it meant was still there. A silent yearning.

Written by IBK

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26 Comments

  1. bruno
    June 28, 06:34 Reply

    this weirdly reads like poetry. maybe it’s because i was narrating in chimamanda’s voice in my head.

    i once fell in love with a friend when i was younger. thank goodness he let me down gently. as an adult though, i don’t even even see straight dudes as an option. they might as well be women the way i feel about them.

    good piece, ibk.

    • Canis VY Majoris
      June 28, 06:46 Reply

      LoL exactly! Once I realize a guy is straight, my desire logs out like a CIA black site. Once bitten.

      Loving a straight guy brings nothing more than Misery & Pain.

      • Pink Panther
        June 28, 07:09 Reply

        You guys are lucky sha. To equate a guy’s heterosexuality with undesirability. I wish I had that mind-set.

        • ambivalentone
          June 28, 07:53 Reply

          Not undesireability. Only unavailability and why bother with the attendant feelings? You will just pine and ur chest keeps expanding or constricting overworking the poor thing. Rest abeg

    • IBK
      June 28, 07:21 Reply

      Thanks Bruno!
      After I entered uni and saw all the different gay guys I don’t even bother my head with them. Someone recently started sending me mixed signals but I was like “boy, bye!”
      One simply does not have the time for that.

    • Orlando
      June 28, 08:02 Reply

      oooo,i love them straight!! my attraction to straight guys is on another level,.

  2. Queen Blue Fox
    June 28, 06:45 Reply

    Oh trust me, I know all about the love that’ll never be yours. It hurts like hell

    • IBK
      June 28, 07:23 Reply

      Pinky! Story here!!!
      Though I’m certain you already know what the story is.
      *mischievous grin*

      • Pink Panther
        June 28, 07:24 Reply

        Oh I do! And I have it already! I’m a whore like that. 😀

  3. Dennis Macaulay
    June 28, 06:52 Reply

    I think we have all been in this situation; falling for a straight man who was unavailable.

    I did enjoy reading this

  4. Mandy
    June 28, 07:19 Reply

    The story of guys who love so passionately, possessively and completely. lol. I know a few straight guys that are like that. Once they pick and interest in a chick and eventually get her to be a girlfriend, oti oo! Any associations with the outside world ceases to exist. it is them and that girlfriend till the end of time be that. That’s not healthy at all. And 100percent of the time, the girl breaks out of the relationship.

    • Orlando
      June 28, 08:06 Reply

      this isn’t love to me,it’s obsession, they call you every 5mins and if you don’t pick,gbegé,they forget you need your alone time, the one that did it for me was when he said i should follow him to his office one weekend so we’ll work together on a project he’s back on,a job i know nothing about. like ehn ,i just pack my bags run

  5. Chizzie
    June 28, 08:36 Reply

    But how can u suddenly kiss someone, out of the blue, straight or gay and expect them not to react in such a manner? You see why you shouldn’t listen to too much Taylor Swift songs

    I’ve never really been a fan of ppl who do that, regardless of whether I find them attractive or not. The mood has to be mutual. Don’t just suddenly reach out and kiss me.

    • Pink Panther
      June 28, 17:09 Reply

      You do realize this is fiction, right? And that the entire work may have nothing to do with the writer’s personality

      • Chizzie
        June 28, 19:12 Reply

        Seeing as it was dull and uneventful it’s easy to mistake it for nonfiction. Plus everything FKA James writes, tweets, does, will always be influenced by Taylor Swift

        • IBK
          June 28, 19:28 Reply

          Okay, I laughed at this.
          Good one chizzie ??

  6. Francis
    June 28, 08:51 Reply

    Hmmmm, this one we’ve automatically tagged the nigga straight, if he was gay/bi and still coming to terms with it nko?

    @Chizzie I can see why you are still searching ??????

  7. A-non
    June 28, 09:13 Reply

    I didn’t try to kiss him. I told him about my feelings. I told him about my sexuality. It made him love me more, he understood he said, our friendship means more to me than your sexuality.

    I will be his best man at his upcoming wedding;I will be his first child’s godfather I have been informed.

    I will never kiss him, his friendship means more; it means more than a kiss would ever mean.

    • Pink Panther
      June 28, 17:10 Reply

      This reads like a story I should get my hands on. 😀

      • Brian Collins
        June 28, 17:48 Reply

        Beautiful. But I am still basking in the after glow of an epic season Finale of GOT. Tininitanana does not even begin to describe it. #WinterIsHere.

  8. Sasha
    June 28, 15:41 Reply

    Beautiful piece, I read it with a backdrop of melancholic music. It felt poetic, like a short movie.

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