Berlin’s Berghain is often cited as the world’s best club – but for a straight guy from San Antonio, it turned out to be opposite.

Kyle, a (presumably) straight guy who was on holiday in Berlin, didn’t seem to have a clue what he was getting into when two newly-made friends took him along to the club.

The famous club, said to have the hardest door in Berlin, operates a strict no-pictures policy and is known for its gay sex parties, usually held in the basement, and the general ‘anything goes’ attitude of partygoers, whether drugs or sex.

What happens in Berghain stays in Berghain – unless you’re Kyle, and work through your nightly adventures in a hilariously honest and slightly shocked Yelp review.

It all started comparatively harmless, he said, with the guys cutting the queue and cussing Kyle out because he was checking his phone. You don’t just check your phone while waiting to get into Berghain, because if you do, you might not get in.Berghain_1

But once they were in, things got real and very much NSFW. And Kyle really, really wasn’t prepared.Berghain_2

Trying to soothe his initial shock with a beer, Kyle would soon learn that there really are no boundaries inside Berghain.Berghain_3

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