Quick Question: Which Of Taylor Swift’s Previous Boyfriends Might Actually Be Gay?

Quick Question: Which Of Taylor Swift’s Previous Boyfriends Might Actually Be Gay?

taylorswift10310For as long as gay men have been making names for themselves in showbiz, there have been fiercely famous beards by their side. A perfect accessory for any self-loathing gay celebrity, the “beard” by definition is “any opposite sex escort taken to an event in an effort to give a homosexual person the appearance of being out on a date with a person of the opposite sex.”

Rock Hudson had one, Liberace had two, and there’s no doubt that closeted gay Hollywood is chock-full of them today. Perhaps the most famous (and certainly the most obvious) modern gay beard is country star Taylor Swift, a beard so highly revered and profitable she’s been considered by some to be Hollywood’s first Power Beard.

But even though she’s dated nearly every male celebrity with a face, not one of Swift’s previous boyfriends has ever come out of the closet. She’s had so many relationships, it’s plausible to believe at least one of them was purely for show, right? So which one is it?

Let’s investigate, shall we?

Joe Jonas?ts1Swift dated JoBro heartthrob Joe Jonas back in 2008, before he was hot. He revealed last year that they never actually had sex. Probably because Taylor refused to whip and penetrate him, right? 🙂

Taylor Lautner?ts7Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner most likely just exchanged makeup tips and boy gossip during their three-month relationship in late 2009. The brief stint ended after she broke up with him, inspiring one of her only “apology songs.”

John Mayer?ts2John Mayer is probably, most definitely, not gay. The singer briefly dated Swift in 2009/2010 before he settled down with Katy Perry, who definitely doesn’t play the beard game. But then again, John and Katy aren’t together anymore. So… *shrug*

Jake Gyllenhaal?ts6Jake Gyllenhaal allegedly prefers “tits and ass,” but we’re still secretly hoping his brief 2010 relationship with Swift was a sham. She may not want him anymore, but we certainly do!

Connor Kennedy?ts4Swift took a dip in the Kennedy family gene pool for three months in 2012, when she dated 18-year-old Conner Kennedy. They broke up after three months because they “lived too far apart.”

Harry Styles?ts5If One Direction frontman Harry Styles were gay, he’d probably just be openly gay. His one-month-old relationship with Swift last year was likely just for kicks.

Zac Efron?ts3Swift continues to deny allegations that she briefly dated Zac Efron last year. But the world would stop turning if we ceased speculation about Zac’s sexuality, so…

Aaron Rodgers?ts8And finally, most importantly, Swift’s most recent sighting with rumored (but definitely “not“) gay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers. They’re not officially dating, and they’re definitely not fooling around, but was their recent night out simply Bearding in action?

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37 Comments

  1. Dennis Macauley
    November 03, 04:00 Reply

    *cocks shot gun waiting for anybody to say anything nasty about my Zac Efron*

    • Kryss S
      November 03, 05:44 Reply

      *dons bullet proof armour* Zac is so so gay! Who dates a cougar who is also a bi? Who wears contacts nd croons like a nightingale? #FactsStated

      • chestnut
        November 03, 10:47 Reply

        Haba Dennis, is it an insult to say Zac Efron is gay? Should WE feel insulted for being gay? (I know it’s not that serious,but I haven’t put u on d spot in a while…hehehe)

    • Kryss S
      November 03, 07:50 Reply

      *hide behind Aunty Pinky* I don’t speak twice biko! U heard me b4 *tongue out*! *singing* La la la la la! Zac is so gayyyyyyyyyyyyy…….!

  2. Kryss S
    November 03, 04:42 Reply

    Helloooooooo? Harry Styles?! Is d sky blue? Is Jay-z ugly? Is Kim K a bitch? Harry is so so gay my being gay is like a toss to d wind. His hair alone is a dead giveaway!
    * Joe Jonas, Zac Effron nd definitely Taylor Lautner(Awwwwwww! I wish….) r definitely next on dat gay list!
    But bia Taylor Swift, are u suffering from spiritual husband syndrome? Maami water a na aria gi? Y can’t u keep a man 4 a year biko? TB Joshua needs to open a branch of his church in Hollywood.

    • Metrosexual
      November 04, 17:08 Reply

      Oh God…. This just got me….ROTFLMAO….and FYI… Jay-Z may be ugly, but Kim K aint no bitch….:p

  3. enigmous
    November 03, 04:44 Reply

    Can someone tell Jake Gyllenhaal that I got tits and ass for breakfast and lunch respectively, then a very large chunk of Zac Efron for a looooong dinner…yes Dennis, bite me

  4. Dennis Macauley
    November 03, 04:59 Reply

    But wait first this girl has had more stars go in and out of her than the Kodak theatre

    #JoanRiversLine

      • Kryss S
        November 03, 05:08 Reply

        Lol! I guess Taylor Swift was d gal they all used in breaking their virginity, found out they could never love p***y nd broke up wit her!

  5. Peak
    November 03, 05:06 Reply

    1st of all I still don’t get the hype about this taylor girl. Am a music head but I just skip right pass anything relating to her cos she is less than average at best (except her her writting and story telling skills)
    On topic, that harry guy gives that gay tease jare. (I think him and all of 1D sucks too)
    And how come the young white hollywood can serial date and screw around and they are not advertised as whores, but black celebs are labelled hoes 4 dating more than 2 notable figures? * just saying*

    • Kryss S
      November 03, 05:49 Reply

      Like seriously!! U r a music head?! U don’t get d hype about TAYLOR SWIFT?! She is below average?!
      I reserve my comment! Am so reserving my comment!

      • Peak
        November 03, 07:08 Reply

        Honey dear, I know all about this girls musical career, she is about to become the 1 artist in music chart history to sell a million album in her opening week back to back for 3 consecutive times. I just can’t get past her “America’s sweet heart” image when she is a total slut, and personally her music sounds very teenish to me. I like to think that my music taste is very grown. Might be forced to listen to this album thought, so I don’t judge from afar while clueless about what is going on.
        And yes her vocal range is blah! Her vocal tone n texture is meh!!! But she fine and can write (u see I gave her some credit)

    • Kryss S
      November 03, 07:47 Reply

      Credit? D “credit” u gave can’t even stand d venom u poured out! Her personal life nd career r two different things(although she infuses her life in her music) so don’t let ur judgement of d former becloud d later.

      • pinkpanthertb
        November 03, 08:31 Reply

        But he’s kinda right Kryss. Taylor Swift sings songs I picture high school girls jiggying to while touching up their makeup in the sorority house. 🙂

      • Peak
        November 03, 09:11 Reply

        Lol, guy music has evolve these days, u must ve the IT factor to make it in this generation, gone are the days where u can ve the whitney vocals and ppl will be checking for you! This generation moves fast, they don’t ve time to know if u can write or sing, they want someone they can relate with on all level. Present day artist put out their personal life which is all part of their brand. Gaga popped off not cos she can sing in red sea apart! Miley went bonkers so in todays climate u must be able to do more than just sing so her personal life is all part of her brand. U sleep with taylor? Then expect ur ass to be in her next record! I don’t gravitate towards her cos her music sounds like what teen girls and twinks listen 2 when braiding each others hair and doing “guess who I fucked recently” gist

    • Metrosexual
      November 04, 17:12 Reply

      Madam, we see how you talk so much about how she’s a successful singer…and how you say she’s average…….. Yes, we see you.. Don’t you feel like you are biting yourself in the ass for this comment..?

  6. Xander
    November 03, 05:17 Reply

    My gaydar broke down (after beeping uncontrollably) thanks to the presence of Harry Styles and Joe Jonas on this list… Styles is so queer; most boy bands have atleast one. He couldn’t keep it together with Swift, as well as Kendall Kardashian. Joe Jonas was caught on cam in a unitard swaying to Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies”. A unitard!!! Zac Efron is swimming in a pool of gay rumors ’bout him… There was a rumor and pics ’bout him dating James Franco’s brother. Jake Gyllenhaal is just man enough *dreamy* his “Brokeback Mountain” days though.

    • chestnut
      November 03, 10:15 Reply

      Lol…d writers of this article are reaching to high heavens!!! ” The most revered and profitable beard”? *falls from Taylor Lautner’s bed*…
      The Jonas brother I suspect is actually d youngest one; if u watch them closely on their reality shows,he’s d one that looks like he has a depressing secret weighing him down and preventing him from being truly open and happy…#OkBye

  7. Brian Collins
    November 03, 05:33 Reply

    Who cares? I totally want all of them to be gay. Yes even the quarterback, i wouldn’t mind some bear action. # I’m attracted to older guys like that

  8. JArch
    November 03, 05:55 Reply

    Connor Kennedy bulge anyone? He might be a twink, but that buldge is definitely impressive

    Now we can understand what Marilyn Monroe was enjoying while she was riding the other Kennedy.

  9. Micky
    November 03, 06:25 Reply

    Zac Efron?????? 100% GAY!!!!! Joe Jonas is right behind him!!!! But Zac is my crush of life… Anytime, Anyday! Dat man is beautiful!

  10. Micky
    November 03, 06:57 Reply

    Oh! Did I forget Harry styles???? *Gaydar beeping uncontrollably* *In Meryl streep’s voice* “That’s all”!

  11. Lanre Swagg
    November 03, 09:17 Reply

    The Official Opinion on All Matters Relating To Taylor Smith Shall Be Provided By @JustJames-

    -The London Edict of 1874

  12. Lothario
    November 03, 09:54 Reply

    Lol….Taylor Taylor Taylor….. Oh well! We all love the excitement of falling in love.

  13. Remy Dubois
    November 03, 10:19 Reply

    Jeeeeez! …dis gal is a ho!…how many bfs?… And all are white. Biko she needs black prick..she won’t let it go once she’s tasted it!

  14. Colossus
    November 03, 10:59 Reply

    What of if she is the gay one and all these men are doing her a favour?
    Think on that for a moment while i sip this akamu

    • pinkpanthertb
      November 03, 12:13 Reply

      Hahahahahahahaa. By gawd, Colossus, I did not see that twist coming.

    • king
      November 03, 12:45 Reply

      Collosus you spoke my mind!

  15. #TeamKizito
    November 03, 11:17 Reply

    Hmm. Some men are obsessed over some other men..

    Okay, and some lesbian women have fiercely famous wigs, abi..

    *sigh*

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