THAT BOY FROM JIGAWA

THAT BOY FROM JIGAWA

“The suspects were said to have formed a disciplinary committee to deal with the deceased after they SUSPECTED him to be a homosexual. So on that fateful day, they decided to deal with him where they allegedly took him to the bush and beat him up with sticks.”

The following day, his lifeless body was found.

This is a description of how a boy was killed in Jigawa on SUSPICION of homosexuality. He wasn’t caught in an act. He just acted funny.

You see, every society is best judged by how much they stand up for those who could potentially be oppressed – their women, their children, the poor, people who just want to love themselves consensually and be left alone.

But every day, Nigeria shows reasons why its humanity is in question. Every day we sink deeper and deeper into the abyss.

You don’t know what gay people go through because you’re not gay?

Well, you don’t have to know what they go through to empathize with them.

That gnawing inadequacy that comes with growing up in a society that tells you that you’re not normal.

The days spent brainstorming on what could be done to “change”.

That struggle to find yourself in the world, to accept oneself in a society consistently screaming that you’re flawed, a society consistently telling you that you chose this even as you wonder when the “sexual orientation of choice” form was given to you, or given to anyone for that matter

The five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. The eons spent cavorting between stages, certain that the “end” is just around the corner. The long days spent telling yourself that it’s just a phase, the years spent on one’s knees, praying and fasting to a god that never seems to hear to change something that’s only seen as wrong because some men have dedicated their lives to living by the precepts of one book.

Did you know that most Muslim scholars disagree on whether gay people should be stoned to death or thrown off buildings? Well, now you do. Some arrived at a compromise to stone them to death if they’re not dead after being thrown off the building.

The impending danger always lurking in every corner, just because people do not accept you and feel the need to use violence to express that lack of acceptance.

That sadness that lingers in your heart when you’re out with the one you love and have to act like bros because, well, society. Are you staring into his eyes too long? Are you fawning too hard? Does that smile seem like something a guy would give another guy?

The fear the gay man feels knowing that sooner or later, family will bring up the question: “When are you getting married?” It doesn’t matter that it’s not their life. It doesn’t matter that they might have caught you with a man before. Once you marry a woman, you’ll change. They’re sure of it. What nonsense.

Do you know that gay people are more likely to become depressed and even suicidal? And no, they’re not built weaker than you are. It’s just that the stress of carrying society’s bullshit can mess with the mind sometimes. The paranoia that creeps in from always having to “straighten” oneself in public. Congratulations. You’ve created a society dedicated to exhausting the gay man emotionally.

But still we rise.

We’re a country perpetually obsessed with the wrong things and perpetually making progress in the wrong direction.

But all progress is good, right?

No.

The LGBT community is not a danger. It’s not a threat. They’re not saints and they’re not sinners. They’re a bunch of people no different from you, from everywhere and anywhere, who just want to love themselves consensually and are asking to be left the FUCK ALONE!

How hard is that?

Written by Vhagar

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9 Comments

  1. trystham
    August 25, 07:18 Reply

    Wait, thrown off roofs or being stoned to death OR both? Vile and despicable, wickedly insane adherents of a senselessly copied religion. WTH!!!

  2. Delle
    August 25, 09:23 Reply

    Life. That’s what this write up gave me.
    Thank you, Vhagar

  3. Canis VY Majoris
    August 25, 12:19 Reply

    Do you know that gay people are more likely to become depressed and even suicidal? And no, they’re not built weaker than you are. It’s just that the stress of carrying society’s bullshit can mess with the mind sometimes. The paranoia that creeps in from always having to “straighten” oneself in public. Congratulations. You’ve created a society dedicated to exhausting the gay man emotionally.

    But still we rise.

  4. Malik
    August 25, 13:55 Reply

    People need to be schooled. And we must be the teachers. And we must teach well – fearlessly and cautiously – so that one day we could walk freely and dump these fucking pseudonyms.

  5. Jide
    August 25, 16:08 Reply

    I’ll just bookmark this and be sending out the links to people I want to come out to, instead of using plenty talk.

  6. foxydevil
    August 25, 20:59 Reply

    incredible write up, well enunciated points and facts. But what solutions do you recommend?
    knowing that the society won’t just leave gay people alone.
    man by nature is sadistic, he is a bully, he is constantly lurking in the shadows to cause harm and grief and gay people are the easy target. Gay people are the scape goats, because even the worst sinners recoil in a hypocritical speed at the mere mention of the gay word.
    How do you recommend the members of this community protect themselves from depression, suicidal thoughts and self harm.
    I took out a moment to get to know some members of this group and 90 percent of them have suicidal thoughts or have thought of inflicting harm in themselves at one point or another. I talked some out of it but some others are still work very much in need of progress. How do we stop this lingering flow of thought, because the homophobes will never leave us alone, we need to come up with ways to help ourselves and other members of our community.

  7. quinn
    August 26, 23:49 Reply

    How hard is it to have empathy and be Humane! I recently came to discover a culture specific syndrome disorder called Koro, Got me thinking. Is the brain of the average black man naturally less reasonable?

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