THAT OTHER OPEN LETTER TO BOTTOMS

THAT OTHER OPEN LETTER TO BOTTOMS

Whoever said the open letters from the tops was finished thought wrong. These bruthas be vexing. I got another letter – this one from someone who’s an ex-lover (Hush! Don’t tell anyone! 🙂 ) – and we shall call him…er, Dexter. Here’s what he had to say.

*

#1 Know The Dick You Signed Up For

Bottoms, after probably asking for pictures, demos and whatnot, then get to the top’s place. And then he whips out his schlong. It’s nice. It’s big. It’s majestic. And then, the bottom be like – What is this?! I can’t take this! Hold on! Gimme a minute. Don’t go so deep!

And I’m like – Like hell I won’t. I’m dicking that ass!

#2 Cleanliness

Yes. It’s a strange word for some of y’all. I can’t speak for all the tops out here. But some of us like to get down there and eat that ass out, and the last thing we want to see is a messy situation staring back at us. Guess what? Seeing that shit on my dick is a major turn off. Douche for chrissakes.

#3 The Overly Attached Mom

Bottoms, know that when you don’t get a text or BBM ping or Whatsapp message from the top whose screwing you, that it’s not the end of the world. You don’t need to be dramatic about it. We don’t need that shit. Basically, stop with hitting people up with “Hey, stranger” “Haven’t talked to you in a while” “Where have you been hiding?”

Away from you! Duh! When you approach me like a stranger, I be a stranger.

#4 Two Way Street

Please know if we make you come, your job isn’t complete. You have other stuff to do. You signed up for sex and by any means necessary, you have to make that top come. Personally, I’m not an advocate of only tops coming and bottoms don’t. But when the bottom does and you be like “you can’t take no more dick” – Bullshit! Make that top nut. Suck it. Jack it. Use it that dick!

#5 To The Grown Woman

Some of us are bi/gay because we like guys. If or when I want pussy, I’d get a woman. I’m not against you expressing yourself, but c’mon you don’t have to uber flamboyant about it. Yes, I’m talking to the Beyonces out there. But then again…one man’s meat is another man’s lousy luck.

Written by Dexter

Previous AN OPEN LETTER TO THE BOTTOMS
Next WHAT IS ‘STRAIGHT-ACTING’ ANYWAY?

About author

You might also like

Our Stories 18 Comments

MUCH ADO ABOUT MASTURBATION

The following is a chatversation between a brother in the Lord (who we’ll refer to as Pastor Chris) and a wanker (who we’ll refer to as Apostle). Lol. It is

Our Stories 55 Comments

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY

I met him in November 2010, two months after I got into the country for further studies. His name (for the purpose of this narration) is Chuks. My friend from

Our Stories 12 Comments

A Boy And The Bouncer

Let me tell you people a short story. There was a Saturday a couple of months ago, during which I attended a book club meet. This book club is a

17 Comments

  1. Dennis Macauley
    April 25, 06:29 Reply

    I think its safe to say that we have seen enough open letters. This one is also very obnoxious and bordering on stupid if you ask me. Dexter No means No, even if he saw fotos and signed up for it, if someone doesn’t wanna take a humongous dick, then he shouldn’t have. I am a top (even tho I am not a fan of labels) but everybody should be able to decide what they want to do with their bodies. And please there are different archetypes of gay men, some are flamboyant and “in your face” some are not. So. We should all deal and those who carry this “top/bi” signboard like its a stamp of superiority should take several seats!!!

    • zegriott
      April 27, 09:48 Reply

      Preach!
      I totally agree with this commenter. A 1000 likes from me to you, Dennis.

    • alpha papi
      June 02, 14:08 Reply

      wat kind of top r u sef?…smh.dis is a truthful piece

  2. Chizzie
    April 25, 08:45 Reply

    Cleanliness isn’t something exclusive to btms too. Tops need to pick up the habit, Some of us like to return the salad tossing favour every now and then, and it marvels me how some tops don’t have the basic initiative to wash down there before intercourse. plus we don’t like to be overwhelmed by the musty stink of a penis when we are giving u head.

    and PS this Dexter sounds super annoying and bitchy.

  3. Regal Sweetheart
    April 25, 09:30 Reply

    First off, I think Dexter was being a bit too dramatic.

    Now,with that out of the way,I’d like to add that the Tops should also realise that because the bottoms allow them to plough their bounty, doesn’t mean that they’re sluts/whores or their bitches or that they’re cheap. It was done in the spur of the moment/what the moment required. If the bottom turns around to reject the next five thousand requests for a rematch, the top(s) should be understanding and know that it’s not the end of the world. Hating on the bottom(s), only give the bottom(s) justification for rejection. And who knows,if the top accepts it in good faith (and be patient), the winds might just blow his way again….

    (And no,I’m not bottom. I’m just talking out of experience and what I’d learned early on…and has been proven time and time again #AdvocateForFreeAndFair)

  4. miss Jocelyn
    April 25, 10:29 Reply

    Some neatly buttressed points, this is to all the bottoms who suddenly want to switch roles if you can’t work that schlong stick to your role it annoys me when an obvious bottom comes to you and says his top yea, you can’t hide that urge to spread those legs once th make out session starts so why try something countless times when you know your still bad at it, stick to what suits u best b proud and own you top if he can’t tease u go down an eat ur cakes you shouldn’t budge and suck his dong, I scratch ur back you scratch mine

  5. miss Jocelyn
    April 25, 10:35 Reply

    We don’t want no girl on girl action, no offence to our lola sisters

  6. Me
    April 25, 17:30 Reply

    Been seeing them top’s replies to bottom’s complaint shii and I’ve had it up to my neck with the fake arse double standard lives them tops be living. The Top’s probably ‘valid’ complaints have been drawn to two-Lil Miss Beyonce and Miss Pink-Lady-you’s-such-a-hoe.

    Y’all tops be always complaining bout attitude. Didn’t y’all see em signs b4 u went in for the arse??? Y’all be like “if I want a woman, I’ll go to a woman”. If a bottom is the prissy, bitchy, cat-walking, ‘openly-obvious-gay-dude-who’s-gonna-blow-my-cover’ kind of guy you don’t want around you, don’t go encouraging them then. Just cos Miss Beyonce is the available don’t mean you should ‘lower your standard’ (whatever you ‘think’ standard means anyway). You wait for your Mr ‘straight-acting’ Right. Good things come to those who wait. And staying away from sex hasn’t killed no one. So if Miss Beyonce turns you off, don’t go chasing him when its dark. He will want more when the sun comes up.

    The only kind of people other people don’t want relationships with are prostitutes. If you don’t want a relationship, but you want sex and want it when its convenient for you, then expect to pay for that sex. Some of y’all broke arse tops always wonder why he be asking for money. You are treating him as a whore, of course he will expect to get paid like a whore. Don’t blame him if he shouts like a whore to get his due. He has to shave, wax, douche, twerk,…and take YOUR dick in his ARSE. Its a full time job, sweetheart. One of the perks of being in a relationship is unconditional free sex. So, dawg, PUHLEEEEASE! Try out escort services. You’d be grateful he hasn’t billed you enough.

    I wonder where some tops get the idea that a long fat dick is the equivalent of good sex??? You expect to be worshipped cos you’ve a size XXL whammer? Oga, park well. Your dicks are for show, bro. Most of y’all don’t be knowing how to use them in the first place and we don’t wanna be walking around in adult diapers for the rest of our lives. You want penetrative sex? Politely ask the bottoms closest to you for a “How To Use My Big Dick Satisfactorily” hand-out. But I’ll give you pointers. PATIENCE, COMMON SENSE and lots of lube.

    On a final note, if a bottom TRULY respects his top, he makes sure he is squeaky clean down there, the perfect slave willing to do his masters will. Its an indication of how very important you are. Most o y’all are NOT worth the effort anyway

    • ginasbedtimestories
      May 01, 09:27 Reply

      I swear you’re so right on point sweetie. Every point was made clear and simple. Tops should learn how to respect their bottoms and not demand for respect, respect they say is reciprocal. And please talking about bottoms who don’t perform in bed, there are many tops who aren’t just logs of wood but dead corpse. I have been in that situation Where expects me to do the whole work, to impress him. How sickly lazy. Everything you desire goes both ways; the tops want an independent bottom, so does the bottom, you want clean bottoms, so does the bottom. Don’t make this while thing seem one sided. And about the Miss Beyonces, if you can’t handle that, then go find your spec. Some men like ’em like that.

  7. andre
    April 27, 15:49 Reply

    Hallelujah !!! Preach n sweerie!
    First and foremost that dexter of a guy sounds like a BITCH!!! (No offence). Secondly Grow up! Thirdly emmmmm dahs all.

  8. Me
    June 29, 20:24 Reply

    Seriously somebody should correct or educate me. I sincerely do not believe there’s gay out who claims to be top that is strictly top. Lie!! All them guys claiming to be top must have in one situation or d other had his shobosho rimmed, fingered or even fucked. And at that moment u enjoyed and secretly would want to try it again. It’s better said u prefer to fuck most times and not to be fucked. And to bottoms who feel inferior, plssss! Stop

  9. Monkeli
    September 20, 12:26 Reply

    Really new here, about a day or so and this is quite interesting so my first comment is gonna go here.
    0
    I think Dexter stated his opinion because ‘He can’ now i’m gonna comment because i can.
    -You’ve got a huge member and you just wanna plunge right in without trying to loosen him up a little. ofcourse i’d say no. They say experience is the best teacher. Try taking a dick sometime, let’s hear what you have to say after then.
    -A top likes to rim and wouldn’t want to make the conditions favourable for him? If you are at your place, why not have Enema handy and have him use it before you decide to get down.

Leave a Reply

Click here to cancel reply.