The Best Way To Break Up With Someone
Being dumped sucks—but breaking up with someone can be just as uncomfortable, especially if you genuinely care about how the other person is going to take it.
And if you’ve ever found yourself in that situation, you know how stressful approaching that conversation can be. Should you end things before dinner? After dinner? Should you meet up somewhere, and then go your separate ways? What’s the best way to tell him/her?
Well, science may have some solid advice for you.
According to research from Brigham Young University and the University of South Alabama, most people prefer the direct approach when they receive bad news.
For the study, researchers presented 145 people with different types of bad news. Then the participants noted the most important things they valued in the not-so-great messages they received. Above all, people appreciated clarity and directness over other characteristics, like being considerate and reasonable.
When it came to social relationships, the researchers found that people prefer a slight “buffer” right before you rip off the Band-Aid.
“An immediate ‘I’m breaking up with you’ might be too direct,” lead study author Alan Manning, linguistics professor at Brigham Young University, explained in a press release. “But all you need is a ‘we need to talk’ buffer—just a couple of seconds for the other person to process that bad news is coming.”
While it may seem insensitive, the study participants appreciated getting to the point, rather than a long, drawn-out lead-in to the conversation.
“If you’re on the giving end, yeah, absolutely, it’s probably more comfortable psychologically to pad it out—which explains why traditional advice is the way it is,” Manning added. “But this survey is framed in terms of you imagining you’re getting bad news and which version you find least objectionable. People on the receiving end would much rather get it this way.”
So when in doubt, open with a “We need to talk.” Then, clearly let him/her know how you feel.
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6 Comments
McDuke
November 03, 07:15That has always been my sentiment…there’s no point prolonging the inevitable except if you’re not sure about it, but at the end of the day, it is what’s best for both parties.
himbo
November 03, 09:50Do what I do. GHOST the fucker. Works every time.
Francis
November 04, 09:53And one day the Ghoster shall become the Ghosted and it shall hurt like hell.
Foxydevil
November 03, 10:11I can’t relate, I’ve never been dumped.
No man in his right senses would even think of it ?????
Even a weed smoker, knows a diamond when he picks it up.
?
Davith
November 03, 18:53Yea right
quinn
November 03, 21:17This must be a sign for me