The Day I Find Out My Son Is Gay

The Day I Find Out My Son Is Gay

father talking to sonFOREWORD: This poem was adapted by Teflondon from an originally written poem by Okina Idek, titled ‘If My Son Were To Be Gay’, and originally published on thelmathinks.com.

*

The day I find out my son is gay

I will get on my knees and pray

Ask God to give him strength

For on this earth, Gay equals pain

I will call on him, I will say:

Son, I know it is who you are

But in society, we all play parts

No one will understand you being gay

They will fight you and break you

Hover and dim the brightness that is your light

They will discriminate against and incriminate you

They will judge and barricade you from happiness

They will not rest, son. No, they won’t.

But strive not to give up who you are

There is nothing more I want

Than for you to live as you want

Do not be tempted to live a lie

For the peace of your mind is far more precious

Than the peace your turmoil gives your neighbour

Marry a woman because you love her

And mean to make a family and make her happy

Not because you want to play the part

Not because you want to conform to societal demands

For living a lie will only bring you fire and strife

*

The day I find out my son is gay

I will encourage him to have the mind of a warrior

One who expects to do battle now and again

It is easier to join the army and fight for your country

For always, such wars must end

But the war against gays seem unending

A boundless energy of vitriol and persecution

It is your life but they will run roughshod over it

You are human but they will hunt you like an animal

You are good but they will pick the Barnabas over you

For who you are is someone they do not understand

And man is wont to hate for what he does not understand

And so, dear son, you must neither cower nor bend

You must never stop fighting or standing

For the peace you need and the happiness you deserve.

*

The day I find out my son is gay

And I see that all he needs is in a man

I will say: Son, follow your heart

Marry the man who can reach into your heart

Marry the man whose satisfaction is mirrored in yours

Marry the man whose happiness segues from yours

Marry the man brave enough to look you in the eye

And say: Marry me.

Dear son, if a man completes you

Do not ever let that go.

And perhaps, by the time you grow to know love

The world would have let go of its odium against the gays

And everyone would have the right to live and the freedom to love

From the moment I realize, dear son, that you are gay

This will be the today I will strive to prepare you for

And the tomorrow I will eternally pray for you.

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111 Comments

    • Gad
      June 12, 09:52 Reply

      Tef,this is wonderfully written. when you talk of war,it kept me wondering.wondering if there is really a war because it takes two factions to fight a war.There are acts against gays(lack of acceptance and homophobic induced violence etc) but im yet to see the gays fight back.All I have seen so far are gays bullying people who dare to voice their opinions.I learnt from my father that the greatest weapon against a passive(verbal) enemy is to treat him like he never existed but when he comes physically you return 1% attack with 101% brutal reprisal.Well done,Tef

  1. #TeamKizito
    June 12, 04:34 Reply

    ‘For the peace of your mind is far more precious than the peace your turmoil gives your nieghbour…’ Hehehe. Aswear.

  2. Khristine
    June 12, 04:54 Reply

    Is this true? What age can you tell if a son is gay? I am just confused or lost or in denial or mistaken. My little one seems like a softie bu t not a 100% sure.

    • Dennis Macaulay
      June 12, 06:24 Reply

      When he is older, ask him! But before you ask him make sure you have created an atmosphere of openess, so that he can trust you with the information

      • Khristine
        June 12, 19:54 Reply

        how old are you talking about? He is turning 7. And I am guilty that whenever we would converse, I would tease him. So I should work on that “Openess”. Thank you!!!!

    • JArch
      June 12, 06:26 Reply

      It’s hard to come to a definite conclusion at an early age. Only time will tell. However there are some subtle signs to watch our for (though these may not be 100% accurate) as they have been common with (some) men who later in their lives identified as gay.

      – Does he like to play with dolls and not macho men.
      – Even if he does play with macho men toys do they end up sleeping next to each other after fighting off bad guys
      – Is he actively involved in sports or just prefers to stand on the sidelines and watch or totally ignores it. In my case i hated football(soccer) from a very early age, though as I’ve grown older i have come to appreciate and identify with the game..a little
      – What are his reactions to male and female characters in movies

      As i said earlier these are not definitive signs to draw a proper conclusion, but it’s something to look out for and observe.

      I used to be a softie as a child, but never one to back down from a fight if push came to shove. There are also straight guys I know who were softies as a child and still are till date. So that alone isn’t enough proof to think he’s gay

      Your instincts as a mother would surely tell you when the time is right. You would know the truth long before he comes to identify himself as either straight or gay.

      For now try not to worry too much about his sexuality, else you would miss the fun parts of being a super mom to a super dupper son

      Big Hugs

      • Khristine
        June 12, 20:16 Reply

        Awww March, this is so much appreciated! Thank you very much for finding time to share your insights!!!! You are right, do not over think. I will love him anyways. !y instinct is saying he is a softie and he might be. But too early to tell. I will wait and I will be there for him no matter what!!! : ) he is not into sports. He loves arts. He likes video games. He can watch what his sister watches. He sometimes jokes around that he likes this and that coz he is a girl???!!! But I am sure he is just teasing me. Maybe he knows I react right away and tend to be sensitive with his sexuality. Well…. Won’t over think. I do not want to miss out the fun. Thanks again!!!!! : )

      • JArch
        June 12, 22:13 Reply

        If he’s a big fan of the arts and loves video games, you’ve got yourself a winner in your arms right there. Chances are he’ll likely end up a geek… Developing his own software like games or something much cooler in his time. This is the geek in me speaking (without the nerd glasses of course hahaha)

        He’s probabaly very protective of his sister. That’s what debonair men are made off. Class, style, elegance and compassion without being too loud. He’s momma’s boy if he can tease you immensely.

        I love kids and so it was my pleasure to help out in my own little. Someday I hope to be like you: perfect husband with 2kids and a nice apartment.

        Have fun being a mom and don’t forget that come rain or sunshine you’ve got a winner for a son.

        Big hugs

    • Gad
      June 12, 10:08 Reply

      I will advice you make your child your friend so that he will be confident enough to trust you with his “shameful secrets”. Talking about being naked before you and not ashamed. A liberal sex education cannot be over emphasized. Please don’t preempt him. Just be a guide and guard and allow water to find its level. He should be taught to get his priorities right too. Best wishes.

      • Khristine
        June 12, 20:20 Reply

        Thanks Gad!! Yes I will take note of this…. Be more accepting but not preempting. : )

  3. Khristine
    June 12, 04:55 Reply

    This is very nice. Shows a parent’s true and deep love for a child.

  4. Ringlana
    June 12, 05:16 Reply

    Nija dad or. Mum finding out that they son is Gay….turmoil

  5. Lothario
    June 12, 05:17 Reply

    This is really nice! Nice one Tef…… I knew you had it in you, even if we have to use our shovels to get to it, but it’s right there….. Hehehehehehe

  6. Sinnex
    June 12, 06:38 Reply

    OMG OMG OMG

    Now I am surprised.

    I expected this from any other person but Teflondon. Who would have thought that this day would ever come.

    This is beautiful….

  7. JArch
    June 12, 06:46 Reply

    A million likes for this Tef
    You and I may not see eye to eye and almost everything, but the saying “Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar” is one of my life principles.

    Totally love this… Good one man

  8. Vhar.
    June 12, 07:16 Reply

    This is Beautiful.

    Amazingly so…

  9. Ace
    June 12, 07:17 Reply

    TEF nwa London… Good job!

  10. JArch
    June 12, 07:57 Reply

    Francis I caught my sub well ooo… Continue… May God is watching you with HD screen

    Hate is a bit strong in my case… We just don’t agree… Shikena

  11. Ruby
    June 12, 08:04 Reply

    Breathtaking….
    I’ve always wondered what I’ll do or how I’ll react if I found out that my son is gay: Do I let him know I’m gay as well or Do I simply let him know that I know and understand who he is and that I’ll love and stand by him no matter what.
    *pensive*

  12. Diablo
    June 12, 08:46 Reply

    Nicely written. It’s safe to assume that this isn’t a poem though

  13. Khaleesi
    June 12, 09:03 Reply

    Its a lie! I dont believe what am seeing!!! ***rushes off to the bathroom to wash off heavily layered mascara just in case***
    My eyes must be deceiving me, isnt this the same TefLondon who’s perpetually sneering @ #TeamSingle ? Its miraculous to read such an open -minded piece from you. This is truly beautiful but … #SnapBackToReality … very few Naija parents will think /act this way, Nigerians are a homophobic lot, not holding my breath hoping they’ll change overnight. ..

  14. Gad
    June 12, 09:20 Reply

    @ Jarch,I thik those traits could be wrong leads to follow in determinig a gay child.I say this because I made same mistakes on my eldest son.He exhibited all you listed above as a child.Had no close male friends except my sisters and other relatives and wards staying with us then.He will cuddle you at night the way some people does teddies.He caresses you privately and publicly even while in church to the extent that a lady Proffessor called me one day after service to warn that my son has gay traits.That encounter was largely responsible for the name I gave my second son.its a matter for another day.My son was a boarding student till JSS3.when he became a teenager all those traits disappeared like magic. Mind you all I gave him was liberal sex education.In ss2 I dropped him off on his first date with a girl he introduced to me whose name I still remember.He brought another girl home for the weekend while in the uni.though he is open minded,he is as straight as can be.many sportsmen are gay too

    • JArch
      June 12, 10:12 Reply

      Gad I understand what you mean completely, that’s why i said it’s not 100% accurate and it’s not a sure way to claim that it is proof a child is gay. That’s why I said (some) men who later identified to be gay exhibited some of these traits including myself where i was known for being a softie and i also mentioned that i do a straight guy who’s till date still a softie. Also I hated football growing up and now i can enjoy the game, though not as obsessively as others (both gay and straight alike)

      In the end my advice to her consisted of 3 things:

      – Her maternal instincts would at a later stage confirm or refute her suspicion.

      – She should watch and observe if indeed the child does exhibit some of those traits I listed.

      – Last and yet most important of all, not to worry about her son’s sexuality now, there would be time for that and should focus more on enjoying her time with her son and being the best super mom he’ll ever know.

      You and I know that children grow up so fast and next thing you know they’re off to university and then you’d wonder where time went. So I’d rather she just have fun and worry about trivial things later.

      • Gad
        June 12, 11:19 Reply

        I can’t agree less. Thanks for not seeing my rejoinder as a call to war. Kd is becoming saner these days. Thanks to you,James et al

      • JArch
        June 12, 11:54 Reply

        Hahaha you’re welcome

        PS: we’re yet to schedule that ice cream date we talked about some days ago 😉

        • Gad
          June 12, 12:08 Reply

          Just hit me up via email. Pinky,pls give him my email address. I hope you won’t mind me taking nkwobi and palmy while you devour your ice cream?

        • pinkpanthertb
          June 12, 12:35 Reply

          Jarch, you want to go on a date with the enemy?! *betrayed look* Don’t speak to me again!

      • JArch
        June 12, 13:49 Reply

        @Gad I do enjoy nkwobi so we can share a plate. You’d have your palm wine while i have a Heineken or something

        @Pinky Relax biko, we’ll sort out whatever reservations you have in private

        • Gad
          June 12, 14:09 Reply

          Ok.odi nma. Get my email from Pinky if he will oblige you an enemy,s address

  15. MagDiva
    June 12, 09:41 Reply

    This piece reminds me of one I read written by Okina Idek with a similar title, although I like your “version” better.

  16. Teflondon
    June 12, 10:37 Reply

    Gad the facts that you are making extra steps to know your sons sexuality and from what you have written, I am assuming you are quite contended (relieved if I may add) that he is str8. Almost like a proud dad you seemed. (Remember I’m assuming). Could this be some sort of Internalized homophobia? (I’m asking genuinely without any ulterior motive, because I don’t know)
    OAN: My younger brother, we are only two. Now I love my brother so much, he is aware I am gay but doesn’t acknowledge it (I.e he doesn’t want to accept or believe it’s true). He loves me regardless and hasn’t changed one bit since he found out. Infact he seem to love me more, He even hangs out with me and my guys (Converted/Gay). Now my brother is a very tall, well built and cute dude and he is very soft and seem easily convinced to do things by his friends. I have being on some kinda of guard on him, watching his every move and reading his chats, keeping tabs on his real friends and online friends. He is quite a ladies man BUT haven been a chronic converter myself. I know my brother can be easily converted. And I have been a bit worried. Paranoid Even, over his case. The thoughts of my dad having his only two children being gay worries me Everytime. It’s one thing to have a gay son, it’s entirely another thing to have your only two kids both male being gay.
    Now my question; is this a case of internalized homophobia?

    • Francis
      June 12, 10:43 Reply

      @Teflondon internalized homophobia no. I think it’s just that fear of putting too much “stress” on one’s family ’cause let’s face it, it’s one thing to adjust to a gay son/daughter and another thing when all the kids are gay.

      Serious family counseling needed

      • Gad
        June 12, 11:44 Reply

        Are you suggesting that being gay is a habit that you could be counseled out of?

        • Francis
          June 12, 12:12 Reply

          @Gad: the type of counseling that the Kardashians are probably going through with Bruce’s transition.

    • Gad
      June 12, 11:37 Reply

      Tef,you are free to assume. I understand. Having taken a decision not to share some personal experiences here any more, I will just say this. I was not into guys as at then apart from boyhood plays while growing up. I have always thought that all gays are bisexual who eventually gets married till my doubts were cleared last year on this blog. I and my wife has never nursed any concern about any of our boys becoming gay but I want all my kids to get married like my ancestors and have their own families just like me and my father before me. You may wish to call it what you want

      • Khaleesi
        June 13, 06:11 Reply

        @Gad, how come you dont want your sons to also serve the gods of your ancestors, to take on several wives, to dress in loin-cloth/wrapper, to live in mud huts etc like their ancestors before them? Why do you dress in western attire, obtain western education, use modern technology, etc unlike your ancestors before you. … #SelectiveHypocriticFuckery

        • Gad
          June 13, 07:20 Reply

          I think I’m free to wish what I want for my kids. Why not wait when you have yours (that’s if you can) you wish what you want for them.*nonsense#

      • Khaleesi
        June 13, 16:56 Reply

        @Gad, another symptom of your ass backwards mentality … childbearing is a normal biological process – even witless lunatics roaming the streets do it effortlessly, so if this is an attempt to mock, looool you should try harder, it failed woefully, keep stewing in your hypocricy – and much good may it do you… cheers, on to newer things, you’re definitely not worth the time it takes to return to an old post. ..

  17. Chris
    June 12, 13:32 Reply

    Beautiful prose.
    However unrealistic in my world.

  18. bola
    June 12, 20:56 Reply

    I will probably kill my self if I find out my son us gay I don’t pray for any of my family members to be gay I don’t pray for any of them to go through what am going tru

    • Francis
      June 12, 21:07 Reply

      @Bola: Kpele dear. It gets better. *hugs*

    • Francis
      June 12, 21:09 Reply

      @Bola: lyrics like this help 😉

      I just can’t give up now
      Come too far from where I started from
      Nobody told me the road would be easy
      And I don’t believe He brought me this far to leave me

  19. chalantx
    June 12, 23:57 Reply

    Such misfortune will never befall my children, it ends with me, an happy ending to my tale. Full final stop.

    • pinkpanthertb
      June 13, 05:25 Reply

      Such misfortune?! Are you serious? It is your kind of person I wish would know a taste of what they deride. If you are so disgusted by your sexuality, please what then are you doing here?

      • Gad
        June 13, 06:55 Reply

        He is here to learn from those who don’t see their sexuality as a curse. I think he is better than all those who claim to have found peace but are constantly blaming God for creating them Nigerians. They are all in the same shoes. The only difference is that the later says things that others will like to hear. If you ask me,its people like him that needs this forum more to enable them find that peace they crave for. Your question should be directed at those who know that they know better instead.They don’t need learning.

        • pinkpanthertb
          June 13, 07:02 Reply

          Gad, sometimes, you just need to get down from that saddle of yours up on that high horse and read things carefully before you throw your disdain around.
          This dude did not sound like he is craving for peace. He sounded positive that his sexuality is a misfortune. If anyone needs help from this forum, he should be forthright about it, instead of denigrating the major reason we are all gathered here.
          Maybe, you should offer your ever present fatherliness (and email) to him, seeing as you’re such a righteous saviour, instead of lashing out at every other person every time. You’re truly some shades of a hypocrite, in that, for someone who constantly cries about how quick KDians are to jump all over others, you do EXACTLY the same THING.

          • Gad
            June 13, 09:49 Reply

            Pinky,if you could point out one sentence in my comment that suggests “jumping at you”, on my honor, the next time I’m in Lagos,i will call you and hand over my national medal to you.

      • JArch
        June 13, 07:17 Reply

        Gad you know I love to see things from another person’s point of view try to understand what angle he’s coming from.

        Chalantx here has drawn a fine line as to what helps him sleep well at night, and then he comes sitting on a high horse to point his finger at us mortals and pass judgement. He’s not here to learn anything.

        I have no qualms whatsoever with anyone citing bible passages to support his argument but his whole argument reeks of internal H. Everyone has a right to believe in whatsoever they want to believe.

        Khristine has a right to ask for help with her son and to the best our abilities you and I and Dennis gave her some advice.

        If he doesn’t want to gave kids just like himself, that’s his own headache, but what i won’t stand for is him coming here to lambast another child for being a softie and who might or might not be gay and thus sentencing him to eternal damnation

        • Gad
          June 13, 10:16 Reply

          You are quite in order Jarch but I don’t believe in giving up on anyone even on people like Max. I believe there must be a way to extend help to them either through the hard way or otherwise. Just identify the method that suits a particular person/situation and apply it.

          • Francis
            June 13, 10:49 Reply

            @Gad Max doesn’t come off as someone that really needs an intervention. As far as I know he can still perceive the stink of his BS.

    • pete
      June 13, 05:25 Reply

      so,being gay is a misfortune? biko,speak for yourself cos I have never seen my sexuality as such

    • pete
      June 13, 06:06 Reply

      misfortune is us having you in our midst here

  20. chalantx
    June 13, 00:50 Reply

    When a kid is a softie n lacks manly pose in terms of character strength, his either gay or bisexual, sexuality can be confusing at times. Bt his cant straight. I i find that most sexual dudes are very touchy especially when yhu possess manly firms.

    The day yhu find out yhur child is gay, its no funny joke, definitely not something to get creative about. an entire generation is affected even according to the bible.

    The day yhu find your child is gay is no nobel nominee, God might just answer yhur prayer.

    If in the future yhur child indeed ends up gay, buckle it, its understandable. But yhu joking about it or fantasizing about it now (dont know what age yhu) that yhu young or so, is in responsible on yhur part and for what, cheap thrills on kitodiaries, broz its not worth.

    The same creative word with which the earth was created, by which men before yhu have sharped their life and destiny, is what yhu gambling with on yhur sons life.

    These are the words of Hannah, which she said out of the bitterness of her heart, she wasn’t making request here, she was just bitter in heart and poured the content of her heart out.
    1samuel 1:9-11

    Oh, GOD-of-the-Angel-Armies,
    If you’ll take a good, hard look at
    my pain,
    If you’ll quit neglecting me and
    go into action for me
    By giving me a son,
    I’ll give him completely,
    unreservedly to you.
    I’ll set him apart for a life of holy
    discipline.

    Verse 17.
    Eli answered her, “Go in peace. And
    may the God of Israel give you what you
    have asked of him.”.
    ####
    This not one of those epistles, it just pains me that yhu just decided the life of an entire generation on kitodiaries, yhu as a father the power of yhur word to influence the life of yhur family is ( i lack words to describe).

    So mote it be.

    • Mandy
      June 13, 05:27 Reply

      This entire comment is just poorly served Bullshit!

      • pinkpanthertb
        June 13, 05:28 Reply

        Thanks, Mandy. I lacked the words to describe it myself. My goodness. It constantly amazes and saddens me when people here express new depths of self loathing.

    • pete
      June 13, 05:30 Reply

      somebody is seriously hooked on the opium

    • Francis
      June 13, 05:34 Reply

      @chalantx na wa oh. I don’t even know what to say to you sef. What gives you the impression she’s fantasizing about it as you say? There are worse things than having a gay kid. Try serial killer, armed robber and whatever sick ish your mind can conjure.

      She only voiced out her worries, chikena. No need to get all preachy and start flinging biblical quotes about. Remember not everyone aspires to what’s in the Bible. Leave your life by your own rules and allow others to do the same.

      While you’re at it, work on your demons. They are really doing a number on you.

      P.S: some of us have come to the realization that being gay is a blessing sef.

    • Dubem
      June 13, 05:37 Reply

      Where’s Max and the Internalized Homophobia Police? Someone has committed a serious infraction.

      • Francis
        June 13, 05:38 Reply

        @Dubem lol. Max needs to start a clinic for them here.

        • Gad
          June 13, 07:41 Reply

          The healer needs to heal himself first. The signs that a person has accepted his sexuality and is at peace with himself includes love for others and real happiness. Depression,aggression towards others,deep rooted hatred and vindictiveness,constant display of bitterness,double-speak,grandstanding are clear indications that one is yet to come to terms with himself. I wonder why some people don’t look beyond the surface. Max needs serious help and this not a joke.

          • pinkpanthertb
            June 13, 07:51 Reply

            You don’t know Max, Gad. You know nothing about him. And you ought to be wise enough to know that there are people who are masters of distinguishing between a social media personality and their actual lives. So kindly tuck back your degree-less psychology and speak only of the things you know.

            • Gad
              June 13, 11:23 Reply

              Are you officially the media spokesperson for Max? Noted but you have to learn the ropes well. I understand what biased can do to a man’s sight but please note that what I know about Max is based on what he presented himself to be online. How Am I supposed to know that it’s a fake online personality?

              • pinkpanthertb
                June 13, 11:27 Reply

                Whether it’s fake or not is beside the point. The point is, you would be seriously treading the line of folly if everything you judge a person you’ve met online is purely based on what you know of his online personality. I don’t understand why I’m gibing you this education, when you yourself lauded Telfondon after his #NoStrings interview for being different from what KDians perceived him to be. Or is that courtesy only preserved for people you consider allies on KD? Kinda double-faced when you permit your ‘friends’ the courtesy of being different from their online personalities but judge your ‘enemies’ based on strictly that. And you call me biased. *shaking my head*

                • Gad
                  June 13, 11:38 Reply

                  You see how right I was when I talked of blindness. I said inter alia that Tef has proved that he is after all not what some Kdians(Max/lipstick gang) wants the rest of the Kdians to think of him. You can refer to that post for clarity.

                  • pinkpanthertb
                    June 13, 11:43 Reply

                    You simply aren’t getting my point. So there’s no need anymore. Just know that the forefinger you self righteously point at others on this blog for many sins is right next to the thumb pointing back at you as a perpetrator of the same ‘sins’. That’s hypocrisy, and you reek of it.

                    • Gad
                      June 13, 12:05

                      You just reminded me of Gaddafi of Libya and lately Laurent Gbagbo. GEJ was even better.He knew when to make an august phone call.

                    • pinkpanthertb
                      June 13, 12:20

                      Thankfully I’m better looking than all of them.

      • Gad
        June 13, 07:05 Reply

        Dubem you are looking for Max on this post? You have to wait a little longer seeing that he should be suffering from prolonged bouts of depression because his vindictive mind can’t fathom the fact that Tefoshodi wrote a beautiful piece and men and women are expressing goodwill to Dear Tef. I only hope he doesn’t harm himself. Pls lipstick gang should despatch someone to keep an eye on him. We won’t want to hear another sad story.

      • Dubem
        June 13, 07:08 Reply

        @gad, is that your idea of being funny or witty? Because, I’d think you are old enough to know that depression is not something you speak so frivolously about, whether in jest or because you want to spite someone who you share no love with. Please, Gad, stop stooping like this. It doesn’t speak good of the matured-older-man image you try to project.

        • Gad
          June 13, 09:57 Reply

          When people are conscious of the fact that things like lack of love for others,deep-rooted bitterness against self and others,self-loathing etc are seeds that grow into states of depression it will help a lot to reduce the number of people who suffer from depression.

    • JArch
      June 13, 06:06 Reply

      What the fuck is this dude bleating about? Yes I said bleating cos I could not understand a single point he made. Please who understands goat or sheep language biko?

      In btw the yhu and yhur (how hard is it to type an ‘o’ on this niggas keypad tho) and “in responsible” I found it really hard to draw up a coherent and logical point he has made.

      • Gad
        June 13, 07:09 Reply

        JARCH,pls pity a brother whose keypad is faulty at a time when phone repairers are on state wide strike

      • JArch
        June 13, 07:24 Reply

        Hahahaha Gad lemme ooo. This guy has rubbed me the wrong way today with his comments. Maybe it’s because I am really sensitive to anything remotely related to children. Heaven knows I don’t agree with Tef most times (though I haven’t voiced it) but this piece he wrote struck a nerve (in a good way) and then a loving mother ask for advice with her loving son

        Then all this Chalatnx guy can do is come and talk crap here

    • Khaleesi
      June 13, 06:06 Reply

      Smh … internalized homophobia in its purest and most unrefined state … isnt it pathetic to watch something as precious as a brain eaten away and rendered useless thanks to the contents of a 4000year old book of folklore … followed by stupefied opium addicts who are unwilling and unable to set their brains free? This commenter exemplifies all of that, its such a pity to watch but … which one concern me? Keep stewing in your self hate and guilt… hopefully you don’t blow out your brains someday soon …

    • Max
      June 13, 11:50 Reply

      @Charlatan, as Mandy righlty said, what you wrote is a load of crap which isn’t worth reading at all…. I couldn’t even get to the end of it. You’re seriously a brainwashed marionette who doesn’t know better. **sighs*
      @Angel Gadriel, you make me laugh sometimes. I barely visited KD yesterday, was very busy with my life( something you surely can’t relate to, since you constantly waddle your unattractive persona all over KD), thats why I didn’t comment. You’re the most depressed dude on KD; living a lie and all, constantly being judged by the very book you eat, speak and breathe daily. Sometimes I wonder how you sleep at night. I wonder how you survive with such sheer hypocrisy while flying high on your donkey daily here with your preposterous comments.
      Go find someone on your opium level to dabble with, since it appears you’re high and can’t think straight.
      Come back when you’re sane enough and stop messing yourself up with your cheap and uneducated comments.

      • Gad
        June 13, 12:12 Reply

        Welcome. Or are you not yet back? We are still expecting your comment the way we saw your comments on the rest of yesterday,s posts.

  21. gad
    June 13, 20:10 Reply

    Khalessi, do you think it makes sense to call what you cannot do,easy? if you think it’s easy, court a girl, propose,get married and kids. keep ranting.

  22. naijagleek
    June 15, 23:36 Reply

    I wanna know more of this Gad fellow. Teflondon. I think we know one another. Impressive stuff.

    • Gad
      June 16, 00:08 Reply

      “This Gad fellow” hmmm.

  23. SincerelyHers
    June 18, 21:15 Reply

    Dear Teflondon,
    Hello. I just happen to stumble upon your blog and I have to say, the message in this post is positive, congrats.
    However, I do want to point out that this poem is exactly like IF My Son Were To Be Gay by Okina Idek, first posted on my blog. And then eventually, Thelma Thinks.
    http://www.thelmathinks.com/2015/01/if-my-son-were-to-be-gay-by-okina-idek.html

    In case you were not aware. Plagiarism is an act of fraud. It involves both stealing someone else’s work and lying about it afterward. In this your piece, you have taken over 14 lines exactly as the one in that poem. An idea cannot be copyrighted, only the way the idea is expressed. So you therefore stole the expression of the idea, breaching the author’s copyright. You are allowed to express yourself but what is insulting is you did not in anyway acknowledge the author who inspired your piece or inspired you to write a more ‘positive’ version of it. That is all you did to do.

    Please I ask that you do so and tell these people the truth. Because you signed it with ‘written by Teflondon’ which is false representation. As 14 lines were in no way written by ‘you’ but by ‘Okina Idek’.
    You are a good writer and honestly I understand you wanted to make your own spin on it as it is a nice poem. However, your readers deserve to know the truth. I was absolutely shocked to see no reference to the author or her poem, which we both know you have read and inspired your own version because they are very very similar.

    Please do the right thing. Thank you.

    • pinkpanthertb
      June 19, 01:54 Reply

      SincerelyHerz, I have just checked out the link, and I feel terrible that such an act was perpetuated on this blog. I have informed Teflondon to reach out to you on the email you provided. Whether he does or not, I will be addressing this issue on a blogpost, and corrected the ownership rights on the post. Again, I apologize for this unfortunate situation. Caesar must be given what is Caesar’s.

    • MagDiva
      June 19, 04:37 Reply

      Finally!!! As I was ignored when I pointed it out. Such a shame taking credit for work that ain’t yours and basking in the glory of praises showered on him.

      • SincerelyHers
        June 19, 05:23 Reply

        Darling, it was your mention of it that led our attention to it via google’s search. Because I had published her poem first and then Thelma. However, they promptly got back to me and sorted it out. I think whoever posted it is the most at fault?
        So long as it is sorted. It is well.

        • Francis
          June 19, 07:51 Reply

          @SincerelyHers how is the poster at fault? You speak like he knew it was plagiarized and deliberately posted it. He just apologized to you for f**k sake. Everyone makes mistakes and as bloggers we need events like this to make us see reason in screening articles before they are posted on our sites.

      • Mandy
        June 19, 09:05 Reply

        But the original work wasn’t even SincerelyHerz’s work. I get that what Teflondon did was bad, but why is it still being a fuss after Pinky corrected the intro of the post and apologized?
        And where’s Teflondon sef? That niggur should get in here and explain himself.

    • SincerelyHers
      June 19, 12:39 Reply

      Pinkpanthertb, I actually meant the ‘poster’ as in ‘writer’. Sorry, I did not know how your blog works so it came across wrongly. I meant the writer who knew it was inspired and did not even hint that it was inspired (even though he did not know the source) until called out [fact]. Do not vex. You corrected it and I acknowledged your fast response & immediate correction. As I said earlier, ‘It is well’.
      However, MagDiva is 200% right that an apology doesn’t cancel the crime and that in the real world you will get sued. Unfortunately, things will fall on you as the blog owner. I know bloggers can’t be google, checking authenticity 24/7 but the employer is absolutely responsible for his employees in the course of business. You owe your readers that duty. You need to ensure anything you post is original, or sourced and of no detriment to you. Remember the news of google shutting the great Linda Ikeji down because “Copyright is a big deal and this is why you can’t just go and pick up another person’s intellectual property or content and lay claim to its ownership.” As the owner, she was the one put on blast, not her writers. It was eventually sorted and maybe even untrue but she alone faced the embarrassment.
      If someone bleaches the laws of a blog, I would think that the right thing to do is to take down the post but as the issue has been corrected and apologized for, so it is okay with me but little comfort to the writer. My sincere advice is you protect yourself as much as you can. Else someone could drag you down in the mud.
      This is a learning experience for us all. We are all writers and we should stick up for each other. This could be how someone will be ‘fighting’ for your post to be acknowledged elsewhere, one day.

  24. MagDiva
    June 19, 08:32 Reply

    PinkPanther, I think what sincerelyhers is trying to say is as the blog owner it is ultimately your duty to carry out your due dilligence before you post articles. Cos if this was out there in the real world outside blogosphere, you’d be the one getting sued not TeefLondon as the blog (company) owner. #my2pencewithchange

    • pinkpanthertb
      June 19, 08:40 Reply

      My dear, when you are running a blog alternately with a job, and you get inundated with articles every day, then you’d be a little less saddled on that high horse. My first instinct is not to question every piece sent to me. If I did that for every one of them, I won’t get any work done.
      And you can afford to talk because you happened to have read something similar. Which prompted your knowledge of the plagiarism.
      I have apologized on behalf of the blog. SincerelyHerz should make do with that and not draw this out by casting blames. I don’t take kindly to it especially when its unfairly dished out.

      • MagDiva
        June 19, 08:50 Reply

        I totally understand and you need to be less sensitive when opinions are voiced. It is not a slight on you. It is just what it is….. an opinion. ” Sincerelyhers should make do with that”. You cannot tell someone how to feel or what to make do with as It makes your so called apology an insult. Like the apology is supposed to cancel the crime.

        Maybe moving forward, you should ask basic questions when posting articles
        1) is this your work?
        2) if yes, has this been published anywhere else?
        3) if no, link to original post or author.

        Simple! Again….. Just my two pence with change.

        Have a fab day

        • pinkpanthertb
          June 19, 08:51 Reply

          These basic questions are asked every time, my dear. I didn’t start blogging today. What any contributor omits to tell me is hardly my fault.

  25. Teflondon
    June 19, 09:38 Reply

    ill like to apologize for not giving credit to whom its due it was largely down to not having prior knowledge of who the writer is or was. i got the ideas of the poem from the writers piece but no credit was given were i found the piece. i take FULL responsibility for this acts and deeply regret my actions (of not giving credit). the owner of the blog was fully unaware of this. i apologize once again for my acts. Thanks

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