THE DIARY OF A NIGERIAN FUCKBOY (Entry 12)

THE DIARY OF A NIGERIAN FUCKBOY (Entry 12)

Dear Diary,

I miss Tim. But I was still in the stage of anger and denial. As usual, I stayed away from any online activity for a while, just to take my mind on the sad event, even though deep down, I was a little mad at myself for reacting too fast.

Weeks passed and I opened another account, and moments after logging on, I saw Tim’s profile. I hit him up and when he requested for pictures, I kept my fingers crossed and sent a photo.

“You!” he started. “What do you want from me?” And as expected, he flew off into a rant. “You blocked me! Very disrespectful!” Then he added finally, “Do not hit me up again.”

I was still in the phase of anger, so I didn’t care to reply or apologize. I simply wanted to move on to the next.

But it became difficult. Very difficult.

I was starting to seek guys in terms of specifics. I realized I was looking for guys that were just like Tim. They had to have the same body type, height and age. I told myself it wouldn’t be hard.

Time passed and I let my guard down one day and hit Tim up, with an apology. He wasn’t having any of it, and I suddenly found myself wondering if I had caught feelings for a guy whose attitude and antics I did not care much for. I convinced myself it was just the good sex messing with my head and that if I found someone else just as good, I’d forget Tim.

Then the day came.

This time, I was scrolling down my chat history to see guys I had chatted with in the past, who may have had potential but seeing as I was trying to get back with Tim or get a guy just like him, I may have ignored them. As I scrolled, I happened upon this heavily pixelated picture.

Normally, I ignore such profiles right off the bat because of the poor-looking picture, but when I read the profile, I was interested. He was the right age, height and he was Latino. I responded to his message, which he sent weeks ago, and after a while, he responded.

We started talking and he said he was currently on vacation, but he was going to return on Sunday, which was perfect for me, as Sundays are the days I usually have time. His name was Miguel and we exchanged numbers. And I waited.

The day came and I sent him a text, asking if we were still going to meet.

His reply was: Please send me more pictures.

I sent one and he requested for more. So I basically sent him half of the pictures in my picture gallery. He sent his too and we planned to meet later in the day.

The time came and I texted to confirm.

Sorry, I’ll be meeting with a client soon, let’s meet another day, was his reply.

I was royally pissed but said it was ok.

Minutes later, he texted me: How soon can you get here? I can move the appointment to a later time if you can get here soon.

My GPS said I would get to his location in 25 minutes but I lied and told him I’d be there in 15. Well, it wasn’t actually a lie, all I needed to do was hit the gas harder and drive faster.

I arrived at what seemed to be a big beauty center. I quickly Googled the name of the place and I saw his picture as the owner, with the place having a 4-star rating by customers. He told me to walk in through the backdoor. I did and met a guy wearing nothing but a Christian Andrews underwear and sneakers.

He looked like a villain from a Telenovela, that mean brother who wants to take over the plantation. He had a short mustache that completed the mean look and a deep accent when he said welcome and added, “Thank God you look like your pictures.”

He shut the door behind me and walked me up to his white, themed house.

In my head, knowing I about to have a great time with this mean-looking Latin lover, I silently said, “Fuck you, Tim! Fuck you very much!”

TO BE CONTINUED.

Written by Duke

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15 Comments

  1. Mandy
    August 30, 06:14 Reply

    ???? @ ‘Fuck you, Tim. Fuck you very much!’
    You actually care more for this Tim than you’d like to admit. Feelings most definitely caught, amigo.

  2. Kenny
    August 30, 06:28 Reply

    And something in my gut tells me things did not go really well with the Latino. *spreads mat and waits for the next episode*?

  3. miztadiol
    August 30, 07:31 Reply

    @kenny I feel so, u cannot just Come and end story like this. Who knows weda Latino was a one minute wonder! *kikikikikik

  4. ambivalentone
    August 30, 07:35 Reply

    Phoney standards we set because we lost someone we loved instead of trying hard to move on and adapt to changes…#sigh See my life outside.

  5. Too clean
    August 30, 08:31 Reply

    Duke….Lol….Good one!

    As always!

    But what was the coincidence with the name ‘Miguel’……
    Was that deliberate????
    Hahaha hahaha hahaha

      • ambivalentone
        August 30, 09:04 Reply

        ROTFLMAO. Its not his comments that amuse me any more but the follow-up responses.

    • Delle
      August 30, 10:20 Reply

      Dear Too Clean,
      It is general knowledge that you are best of friends with Duke. You probably were play mates in creche and had your first selfies together. The whole KD know about it, believe you me we do.
      So you can stop with the whole familiarity charade.
      Thanks in hopeful anticipation.
      Yours PISSfully,
      Delle.

      • ambivalentone
        August 30, 10:43 Reply

        My own is if he has to come here on every post expressing shock and surprise at a particular information, he probably should just start counting himself a REGULAR friend or perhaps an online ACQUAINTANCE that the rest of KD is to Duke.

        • Delle
          August 30, 11:26 Reply

          Really it’s irking.
          If it’s only shock and surprise he exhibits, better. But the consistent quips about how he knows the particular character, or that Duke is mentioning in the entry something they both probably Skyped about the previous day is all so off-putting. I can’t deal abeg.

  6. Delle
    August 30, 10:06 Reply

    Come here, Duke! *slaps you hard across the cheek twice*

    Now, one slap is for still wanting Tim. You even had to embarrass your chi twice in the process. Smh

    The other slap is for the yeye cliffhanger! How dare you give me the ‘to be continued’ without a bam-bam-bam tale? How dare you?!

    • Duke
      August 30, 11:40 Reply

      I need that slap. Tim is messing with my head?

      • Delle
        August 30, 17:18 Reply

        You caught feelings baby boo, you caught them real hard. Now, there’s a golden rule governing flings and you broke it…

        • Pink Panther
          August 30, 18:17 Reply

          Yes, because these rules and regulations are just so easy to observe. 🙂

  7. Lord Naughtiness
    September 01, 03:27 Reply

    “Fuck u Tim, fuck u very much”
    That got me laffing hard….. See who went and caught the feelings flu…. Something tell me we have not heard the last of Tim……*glued to KD waiting for next episode*

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